Disclaimer: I own nothing of KHR.

Essentially I needed something to get me back in the mood for writing, so here's a drabble. Completely unrelated to anything, just inspired by toxixpumpkin on tumblr, prompt: You need to stop leaving dead bodies in the kitchen.


"NO! I mean, don't worry about it! I'll pick up the mess in the kitchen. You just go ahead and buy those groceries. Everything will be all clean by the time you get back, don't worry."

There was a long second, before Nana smiled.

"If you say so, Tsu-kun! My, you're getting to be so responsible these days. You're becoming a real man, helping Mama." Practically twinkling, she finally left the house- and more importantly, the kitchen. Tsuna wished he could breathe a sigh of relief, but was still feeling rather overwhelmed by the situation in general.

Walking back to the room in question, he arrived just in time to hear his father say,

"But really, you need to stop leaving dead bodies in my kitchen." It was actually rather flippant sounding, which grated Tsuna's nerves. His father in general had an amazing ability to do that just existing though, so perhaps his perspective was off.

Except for the fact that there was indeed a dead body in the kitchen. And it wasn't the first this week. Reborn had been working overtime, as had the rest of the household, trying to keep their beloved and adoptive mother in the dark about the increasing amounts of dead intruders. So here, once again, was Reborn and Bianchi preparing to dispose of another body while his father looked on.

"You need to stop being a moron. One leads to the other, in case you aren't aware of 'Cause and Effect'." Reborn, on the other hand, was quite serious. If Tsuna was reading him right, he was also quite annoyed.

"I don't-"

"Yes, you do. YOU are the idiot who leaked enough information about your family for every wannabe rookie assassin to find them blindfolded." Bianchi wasn't in the best of moods either, and Tsuna was rather glad suddenly that the kitchen was rather empty of food.

"I didn't do it on purpose, I was just so happy! My precious son-"

"Is actually rather angry with you, because he left for a two month training period only to find that his father had a. Not told his mother about his job like he had promised and b. Told EVERYONE ELSE in organized crime EVERYTHING about his family." Tsunayoshi felt anger and resentment wash over him anew. "You practically begged to be the one to tell mom, so I agreed because she loves you, and I thought you could be responsible enough to care about your relationship with her. Looks like I managed to overestimate you. Again." More words rushed up, but were forced back. If Iemitsu didn't get it by now, he wouldn't. And Reborn had taught him not to waste anything, including time and effort on fools.

A tilt of the head in his direction informed him that Reborn was taking the lead again.

"When Maman returns, Bianchi, Tsuna, and I, will inform her. We have to, because at this point this location is no longer safe. Perhaps it will be later, after Hibari has time to re-establish control, but for now we have to move house. And while situational awareness may not be her strongest trait, I am fairly certain she will notice being moved to Italy." Ah. Reborn had moved on to blatant sarcasm. When he was being overt and serious (versus pretending insanity was normal), it was fairly well established he considered you intellectually somewhere below pond scum and other invertebrates.

"My wife-"

"Has had her floor replaced in almost every room in this house, had three 'dangerous gas leaks', won four 'vacations', and thirteen averted kidnapping attempts. If it was just one family as we thought in the beginning, we could have handled it. Now, we have half the underworld gunning for a woman who thinks her worthless husband is a construction worker at the South Pole. And it is Precisely. Your. Fault." The words apparently penetrated this time, although perhaps the fact that Reborn reinforced them with bullets helped. Silence for a moment. Then the door opened, and everyone heard Nana announce her arrival.

"I just forgot my wallet!" So cheerfully. Tsunayoshi turned and left the kitchen, along with Reborn and Bianchi.

"Ah! Tsu-kun, are you done yet in the kitchen?"

"Not quite, Maman. Iemitsu was actually the one who created the mess, he can do the hard cleaning work himself. Perhaps it will remind him to be more careful."

"Ah, I see. Well, everyone makes mistakes sometimes."

"Not like this, mom. Actually, we need to tell you something about dad. And me."