Lexa's kissing her. She's not exactly sure how they got here – okay, that's not entirely true, it was the whispered confession of trust and the question about what they are really fighting for, survival or something more, that got them here. Now that Lexa's lips are on hers though, it's hard to remember that anything else exists. It's even harder to care.

The second their lips touch Clarke is sure she finally knows what zero-g feels like. She feels weightless and free in ways she's never experienced; not on the Ark; not in space; not with Finn; not with anyone. It's the closest thing to an out of body experience Clarke can imagine. It feels like floating and it's completely surreal. When Lexa captures her top lip once, twice, Clarks's not sure she will ever be able to get enough oxygen back into her lungs. She figures the weightlessness is due in part to the lightheadedness that Lexa's proximity and the simple contact creates and the overwhelming sense of relief and the freedom that comes with it.

They've both been holding back, they've been fighting this, this unspoken thing, between them for what feels like forever. The restraints are finally off and the guards are dropped. It's bad enough worrying about war but trying to fight this battle, this pull between them, on top of everything else has been nearly unbearable.

Pull is definitely the right word for it. The ever present and insistent tug between the two of them is as natural and as powerful as gravity. They're drawn to each other. Every atom in Clarke's body feel like it's being torn in Lexa's direction, every hour of every day; no matter where they are. Despite the fact that it has gone unspoken, it has only ever taken a look between them for Clarke to know that it's not just her that feels it. Whether they are in the war room, in the Commander's quarters or walking through camp, they always seem to find each other. Clarke starts standing closer and Lexa's eyes linger longer each time. Clark can't pinpoint exactly what changed, when it changed or how the shift occurred but she's been conscious of it for a while. They've been thrown into each others orbit and now the pull has taken over. They've been on a collision course ever since.

The Commander has fallen into a pattern of sending for Clarke when she simply just can't go any longer without seeing her. It could be two hours, four hours, or in this case, 15 minutes. Neither one of them openly acknowledges what it really is but the recognition is there. The way the energy changes every time Clarke walks into the tent, leaves no question. They both know they couldn't fight this even if they wanted to. It's inevitable. They are inevitable. You can only rub frayed wires together for so long before they spark; before they ignite.

The heat radiating off Lexa's skin and the slow burn she feels spreading throughout her body is indescribable. The pressure of Lexa's mouth on hers is perfect. For as intense and aggressive as the Commander can be, the way she kisses her is altogether soft and slow and tentative and unlike anything Clarke could have ever imagined. It's firm but not forceful; pleading but never demanding.

Lexa's movements are deliberately unhurried. She wants Clarke to feel every single kiss, every pause, every traded breath, and every point of contact. She gives Clarke every opportunity to stop it, every opportunity to decide if it doesn't feel right for her; to decide if this isn't what she wants. This could have very easily been a frenzy. There's enough tension built up between the two of them that it could have been a hard, fast and chaotic battle of wills but that's not what either of them needs right now.

Lexa needs to feel Clarke return each advance, to know that this is a conscious choice for her. She needs to know with certainty that Clarke is kissing her back because she wants this and needs this as much as Lexa does and not because she's caught up in the moment, not because she's caught off guard and not because Lexa is forcing it. She also needs to show Clarke that she's capable of this; capable of putting the warrior aside; capable of being a lover. If nothing else, she needs Clarke to understand that it's Lexa kissing her, not the Commander. Right now that's a big distinction.

Any fear that Lexa had about whether or not Clarke would kiss her back is dismissed by the certainty with which Clarke matches her movements. Clarke's chin rises and her lips part to capture Lexa's bottom lip each time Lexa makes contact. Lexa feels indescribably victorious when she feels Clarke's left hand slide over her hip and rest on the small of her back. The act alone eliminates any doubt. Clarke needs this closeness, this contact, as much as she does.

Clarke understands all of the nuances that Lexa pours into the kiss. She understands that Lexa is relinquishing control, willing to take her direction, letting her drive and placing not only her trust, but her heart in Clarke's hands; knowing that it could destroy her. Lexa is willing to take the risk and Clarke loves her for it. It's the first time she truly lets herself believe that this could work, that they could work.

And as much as Clarke doesn't want this to end, never wants this to stop, it's the faint press of Lexa's fingers to the back of her neck and the subtle brush of Lexa's thumb along her jaw that jars her back to reality. Confusion flashes in Lexa's eyes for a split second when she realizes the contact is gone. Clarke feels immediately guilty for stopping, for pulling back even just an inch. She just needs to know, before this goes any further, if this tenderness, this care with which Lexa is handling her is going to get the Commander killed. As much as Clarke wants this, as much as it would destroy her to give this up now, knowing everything that kiss meant, she'd still sooner die than watch the Grounders turn on Lexa because of her.

The air around them still feels supercharged; electrified. Clarke knows she needs to reassure her; to make sure Lexa understands that this pause isn't a sign of regret, that there's no question about her feelings, so she does the only thing she can think to do in the moment and laces her fingers with Lexa's and rests their foreheads together. She can feel the tension drain immediately from the Commander. They linger there, just breathing together, before Clarke swallows around the lump in her throat and gives life to her greatest fear. "Your people will never be okay with this"

Lexa pulls back just enough to meet Clarke's eyes. She needs Clarke to see, to feel and to believe what she's about to say. Somehow, she thinks that maybe she can will Clarke to feel all of that through her eyes – it always has been their best connection.

"They already know this is different." Lexa lets the words settle in the air between them before she continues. "When I agreed to negotiate; when I didn't immediately order you killed when you took Finn's life; when I trusted your faith in Bellamy, they knew. They knew this was different. That you were different"

Clarke lets the words sink in. She can see it in the way Lexa's eyes soften that this is a revelation, one of Lexa's many hidden secrets. Lexa's been risking not only unrest among the Grounders but her own position as Commander and more importantly, her life, for Clarke all along, even before they were close.

Clarke shifts her gaze from beautiful, captivating eyes to the warmth of their interlaced fingers. She rubs her thumb over the soft skin of Lexa's fingers, marveling at the way that anything so soft could still exist in this place, marveling at how perfectly and effortlessly they fit together. Everything about this feels right but if Earth has taught her anything it's that getting your hopes up too much is dangerous, even deadly.

"What if they won't accept it?" It comes out as barely a whisper.

It's clear Lexa believes it's not an issue but Clarke barely knows these people and they've spent more than half that time wishing her dead. She's right to be wary. She won't be responsible for another person she cares about dying. She's seen how the Grounders handle treachery and she can't have that for Lexa. The thought alone makes her nauseous.

"They will. They must. Because you're mine" Lexa squeezes her hand, both reassuring her and pleading with her to just trust her on this. She knows it's not easy for Clarke to believe, but it can be just that simple.

"Yours? Like property?" Clarke's eyebrows knit together as she says it. She sounds like she's trying really hard not to be offended.

Lexa should have known that was coming and she has to smirk at the comment. Clarke's little defiant streak is alive and well. The thought only makes Lexa's smile wider. God, she's beautiful when she's fiery. Now Clarke's looking at her with a hint of annoyance and disapproval because she hasn't said anything and she thinks Lexa's mocking her.

"There's a lot you don't know about our customs yet, Clarke, but no, we don't claim ownership of other people." Not literally anyway. Lexa knows she'd cut off the hands of any man or woman that threatened what she has with Clarke but that's not exactly what Clarke is asking.

And now Clarke is smiling at her. Shy, blue eyes shining and her cheeks tinged with the barest hint of pink at the embarrassment of the assumption. "So, not like property then."

Lexa returns the smile in kind and simply, because she can't resist, leans in to kiss her. It's brief, barely a peck and nothing like before but the way Clarke's eyes stay closed even after she's pulled back tells Lexa that she still felt it down to her toes. That's all the reassurance she needs to continue the conversation. She knows the next few minutes are going to dictate their future and she needs this to go well. Lexa steadies herself with a breath and takes the leap. "No. Like odakeryon."

"Odakeryon? I haven't heard that word. What does it mean?"

Clark is genuinely curious. She's watching Lexa intently, eyes tracing the planes of her face for any indication of why the Commander seems to be hesitating right now. The scrutiny does nothing to help calm Lexa's nerves.

"Other spirit."

The way Lexa says it with a hint of apprehension gets Clarke's attention. All of a sudden and without warning a sort of tension has crept up on them. Less than a minute ago Lexa was smiling, almost playfully, and now she has her eyes locked firmly on their hands and her breathing has changed. Clarke knows that Lexa is wrestling with something, there is something going unsaid and Clarke needs to know what it is.

Clarke takes a chance and shifts forward ever so slightly. It's a delicate process, trying not to startle a cornered animal. She wordlessly brings their foreheads back together and squeezes Lexa's hand, reassuring her and silently urging her to continue. And just as before, Lexa relaxes. It's amazing the effect that Clarke has on her.

"I've known you for more lifetimes than you can imagine, Clarke."

There's a noticeable pause after the statement and Clarke isn't sure Lexa is going to continue. It takes a while, but she does.

"I don't know what the skypeople believe but my people believe that our spirits have existed since the beginning of time. The earth is constantly changing. We are constantly changing. We live and we die but death is not the end because our spirits continue on. The core of who we are never stops existing."

"Reincarnation. That's what makes you Commander." It harkens back to their conversation in the gorilla cage. A conversation they never got to finish.

"When I die, my spirit will find the next commander and the next and the next. That is my purpose as a leader. But it is not my only purpose." The statement is followed by another long pause from Lexa.

"I couldn't see it before… I didn't know… if I had, I would never have…." It seems now that Lexa has started talking, she can't stop. Her mind is running overtime, she's trying to get everything out all at once and it's getting harder for Clarke to follow. She's never heard the Commander this disjointed.

Clarke can see it in the way that Lexa's eyes dart back and forth between hers that she's not sure how to explain whatever it is she's trying to say. It's only the second time Clarke has ever seen panic in the Commander's eyes and this time Clarke doesn't have her backed against a table. Somehow though, it still feels like she's responsible.

"Didn't know what, Lexa?"

The way Clarke says it makes it clear she's being tentative. She needs Lexa to explain but she doesn't want to push too hard. Their standing flush up against each other now, so close that Clarke feels the soft exhale of Lexa's breath against her cheek.

"I didn't know until I saw you, until the day you came with your negotiation. I didn't know you then, Clarke."

It sounds like an apology and Clarke thinks she's starting to get it. Lexa is apologizing for the attack on the dropship, apologizing for the attack on her. But why now?

"It wasn't until you were standing in front of me, not until I looked into your eyes that I felt it; I knew. My spirit remembers you, Clarke. My spirit remembers you from before all of this."

It feels like a bomb has gone off inside Clarke's chest and just like when they were kissing, she's not sure she's ever going to be able to get enough oxygen back into her lungs. Her heart is in her throat and she's glad that Lexa continues because she couldn't speak right now even if she wanted to.

"One of my men, an archer, lost his leg during the battle with the Ice Nation. Our healers were able to save his life but he was never right again. Until the day his fight ended, he believed he could still feel the missing foot; that if he closed his eyes, he could still feel the Earth between his toes. Even months later, he'd swear by it."

Clarke's eyes are closed now. She's desperately trying to absorb everything Lexa is saying but the intensity of staring into those eyes, with the war paint, is just too overwhelming.

She only registers that Lexa has stopped speaking when she feels the faintest press of lips to the shell of her ear.

"I feel YOU, Clarke. Even when you're not here, even when I can't see you, I feel you as sure as if you were by my side. I feel you everywhere."

The last part is barely audible. If Lexa's mouth wasn't against her ear she's not sure she would have caught it.

"I can die a thousand times over and my spirit will still find you."

Clarke finally gets it. She gets why this feels so different and so intense between them, why she and Lexa can see through each other the way no one else can and why it doesn't feel completely insane that she's in love with someone she barely just met. She gets it now. She gets all of it.

"Other spirit. Soul mate." It's a statement, not a question.

Lexa slowly nods to confirm. "Soul mate."

"I think maybe it's your people, Clarke, that will never accept this." It's insecurity she wishes she didn't have but Lexa doesn't know enough about the skypeople yet to feel secure. She knows they are Clarke's family and she's honestly not sure she could win in a fight over family; even if Clarke believes her about this.

"They will. Because you're mine." It's the last thing Clarke says. She's done talking. She just needs to be kissing Lexa right now.

It occurs briefly to Lexa that perhaps she should have asked if skypeople claim others as property because the way Clarke just said 'mine' sounded extremely possessive. The thought actually thrills her more than anything though. She decides she'll ask later - when they're not so busy. Because right now Clarke's hands are in her hair and she just felt Clarke's tongue sweep across her bottom lip. Everything else can wait.

A/N:

All errors (grammatical, punctuational or otherwise) are mine and mine alone. My writing skills are rusty as shit but this story just needed to get out.