Heisuke: The First

Chizuru rubbed her eyes and did her best to stifle a yawn. The moon was at its peak and the others had long ago assumed she'd returned to bed, but she couldn't abandon her post just yet. Not until she was certain that Heisuke was alright. He slept soundly, his chest rising and falling steadily, his hair back to its normal brown color and no longer white. No sign of the ordeal he'd gone through only days before. He stirred briefly, clutching his pillow tighter before settling down again.

When Chizuru drew her next breath, it was shaky, and the corner of her eyes prickled, the tears threatening to fall again. Shinpachi and Harada said they would sit with him through the first, hardest night, and they had. When they'd emerged in the morning, they'd worn tired, but happy smiles. Heisuke was fine, they'd said. He would be alright. Sannan told them all that he would be tired for a few days, but after that, they almost wouldn't notice any difference. No matter what they said, though, Chizuru couldn't shake the deep fear in her heart. She'd seen him, broken and bloody, heard his strained voice say that he didn't want to die… She'd seen him.

"Chizuru?"

She'd seen him, cradled in Harada's arms, his eyes losing focus…

"Chizuru, what's wrong? What happened?"

Heisuke wrapped his arms around her, and Chizuru started, hesitating only for a moment before burying her face against him, doing her best to stop her tears. His arms were strong, his hands firm on her back, his cheek warm against hers. She was surrounded by everything that was him, and she could feel him against her, alive and strong and well. He squeezed her tighter, and the panic receded as she burrowed into his embrace. Here, she would be safe. Here, she would keep him safe.

"I was so worried," she said, her voice muffled against his shoulder. "I was so worried for you."

"I'm sorry, Chizuru. I didn't mean to make you worry."

His voice was low and sincere, and he squeezed her one more time before holding her at arm's length and smiling at her. It was so soft and warm, like the first rays of sun after a strong summer downpour. She couldn't help but smile back, and when she did, it banished the last of her fears. Heisuke was infectious like that; there was something inside him that always reached out to her, that always made her smile even when her heart was at its saddest. She couldn't bear the thought of never seeing his smile again.

"Hey, hey, hey, don't cry. Ok, Chizuru? I promise I'm not going to leave you."

"You can't promise me that."

Heisuke huffed, as if the idea had never occurred to him. With a slight smile, Chizuru patted his cheek, and started to stand. Now that she was sure he was fine, it would be best if she got to bed. As usual, there would be a lot to do in the morning, and Hijikata would be irritated if she was falling asleep during her chores. She barely felt useful as it was. Besides, the last thing she wanted to do was make a fool of herself in front of Heisuke.

"Chizuru, wait!"

He tugged at her arm, perhaps harder than he'd intended, making her stumble and fall toward him. She held out her arms to brace herself, hoping to land next to Heisuke rather than right in his lap, but he caught her by the waist instead, her legs falling on either side of him. Her cheeks were flaming red, and Chizuru started to consider that maybe he did know just how hard he'd pulled her, which only made her cheeks burn more. When she tried to pull away and make a quick exit, he just held her tighter, his arms fully encircling her waist as he crushed her to him and buried his face in her neck.

"Will you at least let me promise that I won't make you cry?"

"Heisuke…"

Chizuru wrapped her arms around him, holding him close to her. Her heart was thudding, and she was almost positive Heisuke could tell. His mouth was right against her, and a shiver went down her spine when he licked his lips, the tip of his tongue grazing her skin.

"You are the one I fight to protect. I…I could never forgive myself if I made you cry."

"Then promise me," she whispered with her mouth next to his ear, not trusting herself to speak any louder. "Then promise me that you won't make me cry."

She was almost a little sad when he pulled away from her neck, but the bright, loving smile he gave her was worth it. In his eyes was all the old determination and strength that she'd come to associate with the Shinsengumi's youngest captain. He slowly slid his hands up her sides, and the shivers went down her back again, her heart thudding now in anticipation, as he placed his hands gently on her cheeks. She could feel the calluses formed from years of wielding a sword, and a part of her, some desperate cry from the pit of her stomach tried to remind her that he had no control over his promises. That desperate cry of reason tried to tell her that Heisuke could give her all the pretty words in the world, but they were still in a war. There was a chance that he would break his promise.

"You have my word, Yukimura Chizuru." His voice was like a sharp knife that cut through the fear and the doubt in her heart. "On my honor as a captain of the Shinsengumi, I will do everything in my power to never break my promise to you."

"Good," Chizuru whispered as she closed her eyes and leaned into his touch.

It was gentle at first, his thumb moving across her cheek, then ghosting over her lips. When she sniffled, he placed his hand under her chin and drew her forward. Her eyes fluttered open when his lips touched hers and she sighed against him, the corners of her mouth tugging upward into a smile. It felt improper to acknowledge that she'd thought of this moment many times before. It felt improper to acknowledge that it was nicer than she'd imagined. His lips were firm against hers, insistent, hovering on just this side of restraint. A tingle spread through her body, travelling right down to her fingers, and when she gripped his shoulder, feeling like she was spinning and falling, Heisuke pulled her closer, his kiss quickly losing its restraint.

When he pulled away, Chizuru felt lightheaded and tingly. It wasn't an entirely unpleasant sensation, but she clung onto Heisuke all the same, just in case she might actually float away. His hands absently roamed over her body, gentle, caressing touches along her shoulders, her arms, her waist, her hips. It wasn't until his hands were on her thighs that she remembered she was straddling him, and her cheeks colored again. He laughed lightly before nuzzling her neck.

"You don't have to be embarrassed."

Chizuru opened her mouth to reply when Heisuke did something to her neck. She gasped, arching into him as she gripped his shoulders, and he moved his tongue in slow circles along her pulse, then placed kiss after kiss after burning kiss down her neck until he was nudging her shirt open with his nose and tracing her collarbone with his tongue. His hands were at her waist again, almost too tight as they ground her down and she felt him, and she clamped her mouth closed, not wanting to give in to the moan determined to get out. When he kissed her this time, all restraint was gone, as he rolled his hips into her, and she couldn't fight against that moan anymore when he ran his tongue along her lips. She parted her lips for him, slightly at first, but more and more as he tugged at her belt, her top falling completely open.

His hands were instantly exploring her bare skin as she whispered his name with her head thrown back, her hand wound tightly in his hair. Heisuke shifted them, laying her on her back, and hesitantly, her cheeks burning, she began to tug at his belt.

"Chizuru," he said softly, hovering over her, "we don't have to."

"I want to."

Heisuke waited a few moments, and when it seemed like he wasn't going to move, Chizuru gave him what she hoped was an encouraging smile and a nod before undoing his belt. He smiled at her, somehow both sweet and devilish, and before she had a chance to question him, his mouth was on her, exploring newly exposed parts of her body. Chizuru whimpered as he took a nipple into his mouth, moving his tongue in circles, and coherent thought left her when he slipped his hand inside her pants, teasing her. He switched to her other nipple, sucking and licking as his finger parted her, and her hips bucked as she bit down on her arm, trying to be as quiet as possible. Heisuke was making it harder to be quiet with every new place he kissed, and Chizuru hadn't the slightest idea that her body could ever be so sensitive. Her breath came in halting gasps as his finger dipped inside of her and he touched a place that sent hot tears falling down her cheeks. She desperately clung onto him, her nails digging into his arm as he increased his pace.

"Aw, now look what I've done," Heisuke said, sounding genuinely remorseful. "I've made you cry again."

He removed his finger, and Chizuru struggled to open her eyes just in time to see him casually put it in his mouth. His eyes never stopped roaming over her in an almost primal, hungry way. His own chest was heaving as a slow, incredibly mischievous smile snaked onto his face. Confused, and brain still halfway turned to jelly, Chizuru pushed herself up on her elbows.

"Got to make sure I don't break my promise."

"Heisuke, what—"

Before she had much time to react, Heisuke removed her pants and buried himself between her legs. Whatever he was doing was making her come undone. Never before had Chizuru felt such a wonderful loss of control over her body. She slammed back against the floor, not even feeling the pain of bashing her head as her body arched so much that only her head and hips were touching the floor. There was no way and no time to quiet the moan that escape as she grabbed a fist full of Heisuke's hair, her nails scratching at his scalp, as he licked and sucked and pleasured places she hadn't even known existed before. He was greedy in the way he devoured her, pinning her hips down so that she couldn't move, and she couldn't tell if it was the pleasure making her lightheaded or the quick, hiccupping gasps that weren't giving her enough air.

Just when she thought the feeling couldn't get more intense, Heisuke slipped a finger inside of her again, curling it to reach an even deeper place. Tears poured out of her eyes as her body began to convulse, and Chizuru tried to hide them, afraid that if Heisuke apologized again, her body would shake itself apart. Then the wave hit her like a punch to the stomach, and all she could do was whimper his name again and again and again as he kissed her thighs and her stomach before sitting up and smiling at her, looking incredibly pleased with himself.

It was hard for her to even raise her arms, so Chizuru just laid there, eyes half closed as her breathing slowed, watching Heisuke slowly remove his shirt. She tried not to blush; that would just be silly. But it was very hard not to, with the way that he was slowly removing his shirt, making a show of flexing his muscles. Her breathing quickened again and an excited tingle seated itself slightly lower than her stomach when he went for his pants. When he laid down beside her, completely naked, Chizuru tentatively made the first move. She knew he'd be able to feel her shaking as straddled him, and as he placed his hands on her hips, she was surprised to feel him trembling, too.

"Heisuke…"

She whispered his name as she caressed his cheek, and he closed his eyes, leaning into her touch. He looked so young and content, then, his smile so happy. She sniffled as a deep pain hit her heart, and he slowly opened his eyes to look at her, all of her. His touch was gentle as he ran his hands over her thighs and her hips, slowly moving upward until he was caressing her breasts, moving his thumbs over her nipples. A pleasurable tingle traveled to her core, and her body gave an involuntary jerk. He traced her collarbone to her shoulders, then down her arms until her hands were in his, and he laced their fingers together.

"No tears, now," he said, giving her hands a squeeze before letting go. "Ok?"

Chizuru nodded. Heisuke was right. No matter how much she didn't want to believe it, there would probably be many times for tears in the years to come as the war became more deadly. But tonight, this night, she should be happy. Heisuke was alive, and with him, she'd discovered a pleasure she couldn't even fathom. With him, this night, everything would be perfect.

When she smiled at him again, it was happier, and Heisuke returned the smile as his fingers sought the place that made her brain go numb. Closing her eyes, Chizuru let her head fall back, trying to lose herself in the pleasure, and when her breath was again coming in ragged gasps, her hand in his hair as he lightly bit her nipple, she reached behind her and touched him. She hadn't been expecting the sound Heisuke made, something halfway between choking and a moan, and she did it again, her fingers lightly moving up him until she grazed the tip, and Heisuke gripped her hips as if he were the one afraid of falling, his mouth at her neck, his breath hot against her. Chizuru closed her eyes and licked her lips; how could she be getting so much pleasure from making him feel good? Was this how he'd felt earlier when he made her lose control of her body? Heiuske was breathing heavily, his hands starting to tremble, and when she repeated the gesture a third time, her touch a little more firm, he lost it, whispering her name, his voice deep and needy, his eyes glazed over as he tried to guide her hips toward his.

Slowly, Chizuru pushed against his shoulder until Heisuke was laying flat on his back, and she braced herself against his chest, and together they guided him inside of her. Heisuke was struggling to be still as she slid down, inch by inch, scratching his chest as she whimpered and her eyes started to roll back. This was a completely new feeling, one that promised more intensity than she'd felt before, and Heisuke was beneath her, absolutely panting, and she wiggled her hips, trying to get used to the feel of him inside her. He bucked, pushing deeper inside of her, and before Heisuke had a chance to apologize, Chizuru moved her hips again, wanting him to push inside her again, wanting him to make that jolt of pleasure shoot straight out the top of her head again. She wanted him again.

It didn't take much for Heisuke to pick up on her intentions, and he smirked at her, his hands sliding from her waist to her bottom as he guided her into a rhythm, up and down, up and down, moving in and out of her. His hands were firm as he increased the pace, his own head thrown back as his hips thrust into hers, harder and harder, and there was no way for her to not call out, because this, this, was pleasure, as he touched a thousand places inside of her, his hips slamming into hers, their chests heaving as her muscles convulsed around him, and this time it was Heisuke whimpering her name, his voice barely more than a whisper. The pressure and the pleasure built in the pit of her stomach and vaguely, Chizuru wondered if this would be stronger than the last time the wave took her. The thought scared and excited her; would her body even be able to withstand it?

Chizuru had been so lost in what little thought she could have that she didn't realize Heisuke was shifting their positions until he had her on her back, her leg thrown over his shoulder, her hips tilted up to meet his, and every time he thrust into her, it brought a new, thrilling sensation. She gasped, her mouth open, back arched, as he rubbed quick little circles on her center, and the convulsions started again as she clawed at his hip, unsure if she wanted him to stop or keep going, afraid that she wouldn't be able to quiet herself, afraid that she would shake herself to bits, and yet wanting him to make her lose all control again.

Her head felt like it would explode as Heisuke nearly fell on top of her, the muscles of his back flexing beneath her hands as he pushed deeper, deeper, deeper, until she positively squealed, her cheeks crimson because she should not be making such noises. He whispered her name like a prayer as he bit down on her shoulder, his body convulsing on top of hers, her muscles clenching and unclenching around him, and she could feel him pulsing inside of her, and her head swam, because this was it, this was happening, and he cried out as she ripped her nails down his back, his mouth crushing hers as much to stifle her sounds as his own. She wanted to hold him, to keep him close against her, but her body was too weak as the numbness travelled from the tips of her toes all the way to the top of her head, sparing not even an inch of her, passing from her into Heisuke as he finally did collapse on top of her, and they both struggled to catch their breath.

Weakly, Heisuke rolled off of her, and they lay on their backs, staring at the ceiling, satisfied smiles on their faces. Chizuru felt like she should say something, but couldn't think of anything, so she just reached out for him instead. Heisuke took her hand, and it was enough, until they could breathe normally again, to just lie there, side by side, happy and holding hands. After a few minutes, Heisuke yawned, and rolled over, placing a gentle kiss on her forehead. He idly ran his fingers through her hair, and Chizuru felt herself melting into him as sleep settled over them like blanket. Some part of her still felt like she should say something, maybe acknowledge what passed between them, but nothing really seemed adequate. Heisuke kissed her forehead again, and Chizuru decided that this was enough. Wrapped in his arms, she felt safe. Wrapped in his arms, there was only her and him, and she could forget what kind of world would be awaiting her when she woke up.

Heisuke yawned again, his touch slowing down. He whispered her name before his breathing evened off and he fell asleep. Chizuru pecked him lightly on the cheek before closing her own eyes, letting sleep take her with a contented smile.