I'll Give You What You Like Chapter 1: Sakura's POV, a naruto fanfic

I DO NOT OWN THIS SONG, NOR THE IDEA. The song is "Give You What You Like" by: Avril Lavigne and Chad Kroeger. I do not own any rights to this song.

This is going to be a very adult fic. NOT for the tender hearted. Please only read if you are mentally over the age of 18. No kids at all.

I cried in my dark, empty room, clothes thrown all around the ground as a naked man lying in my bed, sleeping peacefully. I knew his name, I would never say it out loud for fear of getting hurt in a new kind of way, but it was Sasuke. Sasuke Uchiha. He was the dealer that my mom had been buying for my entire life. As he snored next to my cold, dirty body, I looked at the needles that he and I had shared earlier that night and picked one up. It was still unused. I looked at his sleeping figure. His beautiful figure, pale and rough. He frowned in his sleep and grumbled slightly, causing me to frown. What was he dreaming about tonight? I was okay with sleeping with him. I was okay with the pills and the needles, the alcohol that the room stank so heavily of. I looked at the needle in my slender hand once again, injecting it into my arm and smiling, the high taking over me and sending to a world that I believed to be real. A world in which I loved my mother, I loved her to death, yet, this was all I could do for the woman that bore my sister and myself. Then, my tears stopped.

Please wrap your drunken arms around me
And I'll let you call me yours tonight
Cause slightly broken's just what I need
And if you give me what I want
Then I'll give you what you like

It was getting dangerous in so many ways. Tonight I felt for him for the first time ever. I had his special part in my mouth and was sucking and licking him until suddenly his manly substance blasted into my face. He looked down at me with that glorious smirk, the one that made me feel like everything was going to be okay. He was high of the drugs again, we both were. Earlier we had snorted a few lines, just before his pants fell to his ankles and my eyes fell on his pulsing member. I got down on my knees, knowing that he would treat me well if I did what he wanted. I closed my eyes and licked the cum from around my lips, it tasted salty and felt thick going down my throat. I felt him watching me in the dark, smoldering me with his dark eyes. He watched me as I ran my tongue down his thick shaft, grabbing his balls in my petite hand and playing with them as I once again took him into my mouth. He moaned and grabbed the back of my head, forcing himself deeper into me, gagging me for a moment. He started to thrust heatedly and moaned, pulling himself out and grinning in the dark. "You're mine." I felt my heart flutter at the words and he pulled off my shirt, his being taking over everything that I was. I don't know when all the pain and the heartache turned into need. Lust. Love.

Please tell me I'm your one and only
Or lie and say at least tonight
I've got a brand new cure for lonely
And if you give me what I want
Then I'll give you what you like

It was getting harder to live in the house with my mother. Her need for the drugs was overwhelming me as she introduced me to men I never met before. Karin had disappeared and he hadn't been back in a weeks. I felt body shut down as I realized over and over how much I missed his thrusts, his touch, and his dark eyes. As my body paid for mother to inject herself on a regular basis, my heart and body paid as all of the sick people in the world pounded into me, their hideous faces shining in the bright light of my bedroom. I sometimes imagined it was him, holding me gently and loving me, but that was still a faraway dream and I knew it wasn't going to happen any time soon. I wanted to be a better person. I wanted to work hard to go to school, but all I was good for was a toy. I was nothing but a bargaining chip that would soon be gone, just like her older sister. I looked at the line that was set up for me for when he was done dirtying my body, the craving for it to give me the high constantly rising. It was then that I realized I couldn't live without that line of sugar. It had become a part of me and nothing would change that. I would never let it change

When you turn off the lights
I get stars in my eyes
Is this love?
Maybe someday
So don't turn on the lights
I'll give you what you like

It's been months since I've seen him. I miss him. I miss his thrusts, his solid and pale body. The smirk he wore after I pleased him in any way. I miss those eyes, those dark eyes that made me feel like everything would one day be okay. I briefly wonder if he was married, or if I ever even had a chance to stay by his side. Is he getting his sugar somewhere else these days? What became of him and where did he go? Mostly I wonder why he left me behind. I'm high off of cocaine right now and the world around me looks beautiful. The dark of my room is inviting and the guy that was sent to me knew things. He just left me with some words I'll never forget, "Soon, your hair will be as red as your sister's blood was." It terrified me to know what happened. He told me she was dead. She was dead far before they killed her though. She had been dead for a very long time. I look around for something, getting off of the cum-soaked bed and opening my cabinet. I don't want to be without him, I realize. I'm numb to the world around me and everything was black and white. There was little color left. The only light I saw was the small hold in the door where my mother shoved food through, just enough to keep my alive. I don't know what's going on until I realize that the razor blade that I have hidden underneath my can of hairspray is now laying on the floor covered in blood. I smile as the slices down my wrist drip blood onto the ground, my mind going blank and a sudden vision of him passing through my head, just before I lose consciousness.

For a moment, the room gets bright and I swear I can hear him yell my name out, but that's for just a moment because then it's dark.

Emotions aren't that hard to borrow
When was the word you never learned
And in a room of empty bottles
If you don't give me what I want
Then you'll get what you deserve

When I wake up alone, I panic. The drugs are gone, no needles, no bags, nothing to keep me from forgetting this terrible world. I can't tell what is going on anymore, but do realize there is an IV in my arm. The sun coming in the widows is almost blinding and it takes me a while to register that someone saved me and that I'm lying in a hospital bed. I have a headache, or maybe it's a different kind of ache. I need something, so I look around more and am slow to notice the bandages going up my arms. I look up as the door opens and the lights go off and I find myself sighing in relief. A figure stands before me. "Sakura." Slowly, a smile makes its way to my face. It's him, I can tell by the rough voice. I've waited all these months and he finally came back. I listen as he sits at a chair not too close to my bed. We talk about many things. Without seeing one another, we find a comfort zone and I tell him about the last few months, about the light. He asks me questions. Why do I hate the light so much? Why am I laying in the hospital? Why did I try to end it? Most importantly, why don't I say no?

When you turn off the lights
I get stars in my eyes
Is this love?
Maybe someday
I've got this scene in my head
I'm not sure how it ends
Is it love?
Maybe one day
So don't turn on the lights
I'll give you what you like

A few weeks later, he reveals that he's an undercover cop. I feel my eyes widen, the thoughts of my mother racing through my head, I realize that I don't care what happens to her. She made me feel like I was used and abused, unloved. I was nothing but a tool for her to get what she wanted, her drugs. Nothing more. No one has ever taken care of me. Not until him. He took care of all the bad guys and became one of them, but he held me so close while he was one. He saved me before I could be completely alone. He took care of me when my sister left this world and when my mother chose her drugs over her family. As I look across the room to him, tears well up in my eyes and I nod my head towards him, hoping that he'll understand my silent "thank you". He smiles and nods back before he tells me that they need me at the police station. He says they've cost most of the light. I don't understand what that means and it scares me, but I trust him. Briefly, I wonder what he looks like in the light, but I only know the darkness between us. I don't know what he looks like, but I find that I don't care. I love him.

I'll give you what you like
I'll give you one last chance to hold me
If you give me one last cigarette
By now it's only in the morning
Now that I gave you what you want
All I want is to forget

When I'm released, he blindfolds me, trying to keep me away from the light that hurts so badly. I feel my heart constrict in my chest as a large hand grabs my own in order to guide me. I trust him with everything that is me, I trust him with my body, my mind, maybe even the hollow heart in the hollow body. There isn't much left of me as we walk out of the cold hospital. I smell cigarettes and trees ad want to take the blindfold off, but am too scared to see what the outside world looks like. I can smell the air, but all I feel is fear and frightfulness. I can feel his essence next to me, the one thing that managed to comfort me in this dark, grueling world. As I think about saying something to him (I'm not sure what it was, maybe another "thank you"?), I hear him say something instead. "I saved you." My heart leaps out of my chest and I hug him, tears spilling from my eyes. At first he is tense, but he soon loosens up and embraces me back, patting my back softly and telling me that it will be okay. I smile and continue crying. He lets me, petting my hair reassuringly and making soothing noises. It's then that I realize that I'm being saved and that he is everything to me.

When we get through the trials at the courthouse and he takes me somewhere to celebrate what he calls my bravery. He says he's proud and that my mother and her drug dealers should be locked up for a long time now. I still can't see him with the blindfold on. It's still so dark around me, but he brightens my life, making me feel safe and secure. He tells me to trust him and that he's going to take the blindfold off. I nodded, gripping his hand in my own. It's then that I realize that there's no ring and my heart is once again leaping out of my chest. The blindfold is suddenly gone and I look at him, my eyes adjusting to the brightness. He's the most beautiful man I've ever seen and I catch myself staring at the beautiful person in front of me. Part of me is happy that I fell in love with such a beautiful man and the other part of me doesn't care. He smiles at me and my heart races. "Sakura." The way he says my name is laced with emotion and care. I smile brightly at him and nod. "Sakura, I love you." With that, he takes a strand of my pink hair and stares deep into my emerald eyes before he kisses me softly, holding my body like a porcelain doll that'll shatter with the slightest touch.

It was then that I realized, I wasn't so scared of the light anymore.

So, I've been obsessed with this song for a few days ago. It's all I've been listening to. I'm not going to lie, when I first bought this CD, I was also in love with this song. I heard that it was in "Babysitter's Blackbook", so I've been listening to it again because, well, it has simply resurfaced. It's a very dark song. This fic is basically my take on it.

I am thinking about getting back into ARTSOMS, but honestly, I don't have the inspiration to do so, no one likes it and it's just kind of something that for me is no more than an idea to scrap and throw away. It's obviously incomplete, but let me know if any of you actually like it. I enjoy writing and the fact that no one likes it is kind of depressing.

Also, I very close friend of mine is on life support, so if possible, send prayers her way. Or chant, as I would. She doesn't have much of a chance to survive and it's really hurting me. :/ That's pretty much why I came back to expand this story some. It makes me feel better when I write such dark stories,