Told you I would update quicker than last time. Enjoy

"Thanks for meeting me Natalie." Meredith said, as Natalie sat down, Meredith could not help but gaze at her bump, Meredith truthfully had not really liked being pregnant, it was tiring, uncomfortable and stressful but she had to admit there was still something magically cheesy about the whole thing.

"No problem." Natalie said quickly, still a little uncertain about why Meredith had wanted to have a catch up with her.

"No Derek." Natalie noted, unsure if that was a good or bad thing.

"He is spending the day with his mother."

"Can I get you anything." Meredith asked.

"I would kill for a milkshake." Natalie said.

"Milk shakes it is then." Meredith said before ordering.

As the two women waited for their drinks, they tried to make awkward small talk, but it was just like a jarring game of chess, where nothing was really happening.

"Why did you want to talk to me Meredith?" Nàtalie asked as their drinks arrived.

"I have some, concerns I guess, more questions." Meredith said.

"Go ahead." Natalie said, she wanted to get this over and done with.

"Look, I don't want to come across as one of those people who can't fathom how a person could not love their child, my best friend did not want children, my mother gave my sister up for adoption, I just I think I'm falling in love with your child, Derek's child, the baby and I'm scared that you have fallen in love with her too and that it is all going to go south." Meredith said as Natalie grew uneasy.

"The baby started kicking a couple of weeks ago." Natalie admitted.

"And at first it freaked me out because all of a sudden it became, more real, the baby has personality, she kicks when she hears sirens, and classical music or when I'm hungry." Natalie said,a slight smile on her face.

"Meredith I do love this child but I don't want to." Natalie said, as Meredith's face fell.

"Why don't you want to love her?" Meredith asked.

"I was pregnant once before, when I was younger. I was 18, it was Nigel's, the guy who liked to communicate with his fists, actually he only started really communicating with his fists after I found out I was pregnant. I know I was young and naive, but for some reason I thought everything was going to be okay. I brought onsie's and Nigel came home with a crib one day, and it was the first time in a long time that my life didn't feel like it was missing anything. Then one day we went to the OB, my baby had Down Syndrome and suddenly my life started to crumble." Natalie said.

"But I loved him anyway. Nigel was shattered I think, he had this picture of a perfect life and suddenly that life wasn't there and that's when he started to get angry and his fists started to swing, but only occasionally, which was still not okay but being young and naive I put up with it. We were going to keep him, I wanted to call him Ethan. Then when I was almost at my due date, I went into early labor and, he was born sleeping. Everything fell apart." Natalie said, a single tear falling down her face.

" I am weak, Meredith. I am a victim of my emotions. I'm not giving this baby up for adoption because I don't want it. I'm giving it up because I don't think I can take another loss. I don't want to be responsible for screwing up another person's child."Natalie said.

"I want this baby to be happy and loved and cared for and to grow up in a safe family. I want that for her more than anything." Natalie said.

"You love her " Meredith admitted. "But you don't want to."

"I love her but I don't want to." Natalie said with a sad smile, sometimes life was full of tough choices for the greater good.

"I was so happy when you and Derek said you'd take her, because Derek's a good guy and you are amazing."Natalie admitted.

" It's a relief to know she'll be growing up in a loving home, with a brother and sister." Natalie remarked.

"I was worried that you wouldn't be able to accept the baby, or want to. I mean it's a real imposition to impose on you, particularly after what I did, with you husband." Natalie admitted.

"I slept with a married man, Derek was married when we first met."Meredith said.

" I was this doe eyed intern, he was my boss, look Natalie I don't hold what you and Derek did against you, he was the one with commitments he was the one who made the mistake and I have forgiven him for that, so please don't let the fear of me stop you from making decisions about the baby."Meredith said.

"Thanks." Natalie said.

"How is the pregnancy going other wise

"You know how you asked what contact I wanted with the baby." Natalie said, pausing.

"Yes."Meredith said quietly, as she held her breath, this was the moment she had been dreading.

"I want to know she's okay, from time to time, maybe see her once in a while,from a distance maybe. I think I want her to know that I did what I did for her and for me. I want her to know I loved her even when I tried not to." Natalie conceded.

"Okay." Meredith said, as she looked at the young woman in front of her. This was an okay solution, one she could understand and grasp. She could let Natalie into the baby's life.

"Do you want to feel your baby kick?" Natalie asked all of a sudden.

As Meredith felt the baby kick, she couldn't help but be beside herself in awe, it was as magical as when she first felt Bailey kick,this was her daughter.

I sort of liked that chapter, I liked creating Natalie's back story and fleshing it out a bit, head up though, all is not as it seems. Loved the feedback,please review, let me know what you think.

Cheers,

Lumae