Hurricane

Epilogue: Risk vs Reward

But still somehow I cast about
Paralyzed by love and doubt
And a pinch of paranoia
That I taste inside my mouth

Love's like a call to war
I'll fight until we both get bored
And nothing lights our fire anymore

- Zander Hawley

Until We Both Get Bored

~Ten Months Later~

Zach was having nightmares again.

It had been so long; he'd almost forgotten what they were like. But in the last several months he'd been having nightmares of different origins. The setting was different, the task as well. Though one thing was always the same. More specifically, the who was the constant. And they had curly blonde locks and ice cold blue eyes. He supposed the dream always ended the same as well: with the girl being zipped away in a body bag and Zach waking up drenched in sweat, his hands curled in fists around his bed sheets.

He hadn't had any nightmares when he'd been with Cammie, and he knew she was somehow the reason for their absence. He wasn't a psychologist, so he couldn't say for sure why that was, but he had his guesses. Despite all the anxiety and lies Cammie had put him through, she'd made him feel like a better person. Like maybe all the things he'd done in his past weren't as awful as he'd previously though. Which, he'd come to the conclusion, was absolutely not true. Killing a ten-year-old girl, under any circumstance, was hardly a forgivable offense. He deserved the nightmares, he deserved to suffer. He'd earned it. Cammie had alleviated the regret; but in all honesty, he'd just been lying to himself.

Still, he got up everyday and went to work; refusing to let his nightmares and lack of sleep keep him from trying to bring good back into the world. He worked for the CIA. Even though he couldn't change his past, he could help now.

He dragged through the days with tired eyes and a strange weight that always seemed heavy in his heart. He was coming to resent the cinderblock walls and business casual uniform he had to see everyday. Even the floors were starting to bother to him. He was getting restless without being cleared for the field, that was for sure.

There was something about those linoleum floors that always made Zach feel dirty. Maybe it was the pristine shine they always seemed to carry, or perhaps it was the reflexive nature of the white paint at the fluorescent light bounced off of it. Maybe it was they got swept every twenty minutes as not to deter visitors; the CIA had a reputation to uphold after all. It didn't matter why it was; the silly floors always had the same effect. Zach shuffled through the lobby of the Langley base with his head down, his attention on cursing the floor for making him feel anything more than boredom.

"Zach," someone called his name, snapping him out of his fixation.

He glanced to his left, his white collared shirt feeling tight and irritable against his skin. It had been a long morning of paperwork.

It was Joe Solomon. He was leaning again the receptionist's desk- the receptionist looked flushed- with a toothpick between his teeth. He looked as relaxed and effortless as ever. Zach offered a smile and headed towards him, wondering what Joe was doing in the Langley base. As far as Zach knew, he'd been living in retirement with Abby and their kids in southern California; that had been months ago.

"Joe," Zach greeted, shaking the older man's hand. "Good to see you."

There had been a period of reconciliation after Zach had been shot. Zach had woken up in a drugged state, his eyes first landing on a worn looking Joe Solomon. His eyes were red, his skin sagged, and his eyes drooped as if he'd been awake for days. As soon as he noticed Zach was awake, he'd jumped and called for nurses, demanding that they make sure he was alright. Zach had been too tired to argue and let the nurses prod and poke him until he eventually lapsed back into a deep slumber. Many hazy interactions later, along with visits and prodding from Tessa, Zach had come to understand Joe had sincerely cared about him. There was a sticky strong bond between them; which is why it had hurt so bad when Joe had turned out not to be who he thought he was. But Joe was one of the good ones, and Zach just needed to adjust to that.

Joe had plucked the toothpick form his teeth and smiled. His grin was strange, as if he was about to give Zach the best news in the world.

"Good to see you. You're looking well."

Meaning, Zach probably hadn't looked so good last time they'd seen each other. Which, Zach supposed, was true: He'd been recently shot and heartbroken, all while having to deal with the emotional baggage of having a severely stunted childhood and loss of a key piece of information to the CIA. That wasn't anyone's best.

"Thanks," Zach said, even though he knew he still looked tired and irritable; it seemed to just be his personality these days. "I finished my physical therapy several weeks ago, they haven't cleared me for field work though. Maybe you could put in a good word," Zach joked.

There was a slight pause and then Joe picked up a stack of papers his elbow had been resting on.

"I did," he said, handing the papers to Zach. "You're good to go."

Zach looked at Joe with a perplexed face and then to the papers in his hands. The top sheet was a physical waiver that said he was cleared to return to clandestine operations.

"Are you serious?" He didn't need to ask; it was written clear as day right in front of him. Yet, it seemed to bizarre that Joe Solomon had materialized out of nowhere to make his wish for the last nine months come true.

Joe shrugged, but his grin stayed on his lips and Zach found himself smiling broadly as well. He didn't care how Joe had known, how he'd gotten it done. All he knew is he was grateful.

Zach hugged Joe, thanking him again.

:*:*:*:

"You're late."

"I ran into Joe."

Tessa rolled her eyes, not having the patience to looked surprised. She was well aware that Joe Solomon tended to just appear; she'd had her share of random Joe interactions as well.

"You're late."

"Whatever," Zach said, sitting down at the round table with his sister. "How was your day?"

Tessa didn't look happy. But to be fair, she generally didn't. The weight of the CIA was coming down on her; and she didn't have the tenacity to keep fighting back. Tessa, like Zach, had been confined to mundane paperwork that she detested even more than he did.

"Fine," she said. "I guess."

"Tess," he said. "It'll be over soon."

"It has almost been a year," she said. "You think they would let up on the surveillance."

Zach shrugged. "It happened to me."

Tessa glared. "You were in the field."

"I still had to report to people weekly. They're still breathing down my neck about it. I'm sure they'll clear you soon enough."

"Probably not. What's even more annoying is you're going to get cleared before me. I can feel it."

Zach didn't have the maturity not to smile. His grin revealed enough; Tessa scowled.

"You didn't." She said.

He held up the papers Joe had given him. "Joe accelerated the process, I'm good to go big sis."

"UGH!" She slammed her hands down on the table.

Zach couldn't help but smiling; it was sort of amusing after all.

"I hate you," she added offhandedly.

"Love you too."

"Whatever. Congratulations," she snarked. "I guess."

"There it is."

Tessa was finally smiling. "You think you can accelerate it for me?"

Zach laughed. "I'll see what I can do."

They were quite for a moment as Tessa pulled out her lunch to eat.

"So," she said.

Zach knew from her tone of voice where she was going. He internally groaned.

"Have you talked to her yet?"

Zach breathed in deeply, feeling the ache in his side that always accompanied him whenever he thought about Cammie.

"No."

Tessa was already shaking her head.

"What?" He asked.

"I had lunch with her last Thursday."

Zach wasn't exactly sure what reaction she was looking for. He looked away from his sister, glancing at the ground, seeing the damn linoleum floors again.

They were both quiet.

"I think she misses you. I think she wants to talk to you."

Zach didn't look at her.

"Zach," Tessa said. "Come on, how long has it been now?"

Ten months and thirteen days. But Zach wasn't going to tell Tessa that.

"I'm not sure," he said.

She looked like she didn't believe him. "At least ten months, right? Isn't that long enough? Maybe you should pick up the phone and call her."

"You two seem to be getting along just fine without me," he muttered. He wasn't exactly sure when it had happened, but Tessa and Cammie– for some reason he couldn't comprehend– were friends now. They had lunch, they got drinks; they hung out. Zach had asked Tessa not to give him updates, but she'd always been pesky and annoying about most things, and this was no different. Every time he saw her she had something new to add; ranging from when Cammie got a new hair cut or got assigned to a new department.

"Zach I'm serious," Tessa said. "Both of you are so miserable."

"It's not really any of your business."

Tessa sighed, as though she was disappointed with his answer. "You're such a stubborn little idiot."

Zach gave her a fake smile. "Thanks Tess."

She groaned in frustrated way. "Fine, it's your funeral."

"What? That doesn't make sense."

"It does because at this rate your going to die from misery."

"I'm not miserable." He was, but he didn't need his sister telling him that.

He remembered the first time he'd seen Cammie after they'd agreed to take time away from each other, or rather he'd forced the break. She'd been walking through the lobby and he'd nearly had a heart attack. It was over a month after he'd seen her last, she was meant to have a much longer recovery time. But of course she was working and on her feet sooner than she was supposed to. Nonetheless, he was shocked to see her. She'd looked largely the same; but her face seemed older somehow, more refined and mature. Her hair didn't seem as shiny, and she walked with the slightest of limps. She'd been walking over the linoleum floors and hadn't seen the wet spot, and she'd fallen straight on her ass. Zach was about to zap over to see if she was ok, but before he could get his feet to move, some guy that had been close was already helping her up. Zach had felt him stomach flip and he turned and walked away before she could even see him. He didn't want to see her smile at him.

"Call her." Tessa demanded, bringing him out of his memory.

He didn't answer.

"Ugh." Tessa got up to throw her lunch away. "Whatever, I'm done with this. I have to figure out a way to trick the agency into letting me back into the field."

Zach gave her an odd look but she was out the door before he could comment.

He stared at his coffee cup as his mood darkened. He'd come in feeling so good about everything, after his conversation with Joe. Leave it to Tessa to sour his mood. She was always like that; sucking the life out of things when she wasn't happy.

But despite all that, he knew she had a point. He had chosen to take time apart from Cammie. That didn't mean he could never speak to her again. And truth was, he did want to talk to her again. He missed her voice. He missed telling her about his days. He missed her touch and her kiss. More than anything, he missed her smile. The smile that had blinded him the moment they'd met. He'd known it then, in that sleazy club in LA, that she was extraordinary; it'd just taken him a little longer to realize just how true that was.

Maybe Tessa, in all her insanity, had a point. Maybe he should call her.

He shook his head, immediately shooting the idea down. What would he say? Have you forgiven me for almost choking you to death in a closet?

Enough time hadn't passed. It was true that time healed all wounds, he would say, but it hadn't just yet; he was sure. One day, he hoped miserably.

His phone began to gin and he fished it out of his pocket. His heart accelerated at the thought of it being Cammie. He'd been thinking about her after all; maybe it was fate.

It was Preston.

Zach sighed; he'd never believed in fate anyway.

"Yeah?" he answered the phone, sounding worse than he felt.

"Wow, someone's feeling good today," Macey drawled, her sarcasm thick as ever.

"Don't you have your own phone?"

"Preston and I are disgustingly in love and do couple-y things like calling friends from each other's phones. He's calling my mom right now from mine."

"Really?"

"Of course not, I hate my mother."

"What do you want Macey?"

"You're always such a debbie-downer Zach. Do you even remember the last time you laughed? Or smiled for that matter?"

"I'm very happy," he said stubbornly. He was getting sick of everyone thinking he wasn't.

"Anyway," Macey said, ignoring him. "You down to meet me and Preston for drinks tonight?"

"Is this you trying to trick Cammie and I into seeing each other again?"

This would've been the third time they'd done it. Preston had let it slip each time and Zach had bowed out, refusing to push it before he was ready.

"Don't be ridiculous."

"You forget I know you Macey McHenry," he replied.

"Yeah yeah," she replied. "By the way, I wouldn't have to set it up if either of you would just pull your head out of your ass and pick up the phone. She won't call you because she knows your the one who wanted the break."

While he knew that was true, hearing made him feel guilty and weird. He swallowed and cleared his throat.

"Macey," he said, hoping he sounded serious. "It's too soon."

"You're a scaredy pants."

"Shut up."

"Make me."

"You're so juvenile."

"Just call her!"

"No! Jesus," Zach said. "You're as bad as Tessa."

"Sorry for bothering you with my friendship," she said, using her favorite Office quote. "I just want you to be happy."

"I am."

The words sounded flat to both of them. "It's not a set up. Come if you want to. Don't if you don't. Love you kid, bye."

There was a click and she was gone. Zach groaned to himself. His friends were so… persistent. Their tenacity was getting annoying.

:*:*:*:

"Macey tried to set me up," Zach said. "Again."

It was ridiculous, he thought again as he glanced around his surroundings. He was with Ethan; who had been on away on a mission- a covert op in Uganda- for the last six months and finally returned to Virginia for a short break before heading to Russia on his next assignment. Zach was insanely jealous of Ethan, he just wanted to escape too.

Zach noticed how people were already beginning to trickle out og the bar. It was only eleven, not even, which was also ridiculous. But he supposed everyone had their schedules and preferences. But he was young and hadn't gone to be before midnight in years; not like the forty year olds headed home to pay their babysitters and finally get some sleep. He remembered when he'd first gone to LA and thought the opposite; watching the youth stumble home far later than he would've dared.

Ethan was laughing. "Dude, are you surprised?"

Zach shook his head, feeling his second beer begin to take the edge of the day he'd had. After his intrusive conversations with his sister and Macey, he'd finished off the day by getting yelled at by his current boss for not having enough enthusiasm for the paperwork he was handed. He'd subsequently rounded out his day in the office by tripping over his own feet, weird since he was usually very coordinated (again with the linoleum floors), and was certain he bruised his arm on the fall; it felt tender as he leaned on the bar to talk to Ethan. After he'd returned home he'd gotten a call from, of all people, James Antony, his old mission handler. James, Zach understood, had become unemployed, a surprise since his personality was so golden, and was wondering if Zach could provide him a reference. Zach had actually had to bite his tongue from laughing in his face; giving himself yet another injury. To top it off, he'd gotten an email about a lead on Natasha and her whereabouts. Which ending up just being smoke, irritating him more than it should have.
Suffice to say, he'd had a bad day. The only light at the end of the tunnel was the promise of field work, brought in the unsuspecting form of Joe Solomon. But even that hadn't been enough to make him feel good about the day without a little help from alcohol.

"No, but I wish she'd give up."

"Maybe you should've gone," Ethan replied, not looking at Zach.

Zach gave him a look and took a long pull of his Blue Moon. "Yeah, maybe."

"I mean," Ethan continued, surprising him. Zach had only mentioned it as an aside, he hadn't expected Ethan to take an interest.

Usually the guy only wanted to talk about his latest conquest or how he'd single handedly saved the world. Sympathy had never been his strong point. "What could be the worse thing that happened?"

Zach gave him a strange look, a weird feeling bubbling in his stomach.

"Um. . ."

"I have to go to the bathroom," Ethan said, abruptly and looked away before Zach could asked why he cared. "I'll be back in a sec." He clapped his friend on the back and disappeared.

Zach sat for a moment, lingering on his friend's uncharacteristic behavior. That was until his eyes were drawn to the other side of the room, where Cammie Morgan was sitting at the bar, not looking at him, her hand pulling a cocktail towards her lips.

Zach felt his mouth go dry. He couldn't look away, staring like a freak and knowing he should stop, but not wanting to. She was just so... Cammie; so effortlessly beautiful and charismatic. Plus, it was rare he got the chance to observe her without her knowledge. He knew because her shoulders were relaxed and her face was content. It had been a long time since either of them had looked at each other without tension in their features; if she'd seen him, she would have been more on edge. She laughed at something someone was saying to her; he didn't look to see who it was, he didn't care. She tossed her hair behind her shoulder, drink still in hand, and offered a smile to her companion. Her smile wasn't the one that made his heart race or his insides soften, it was the one she reserved for friends and people she liked. He almost breathed a sigh of relief as he realized it wasn't his smile, the one that somehow made his lips twitch.

Cammie looked as though she was about to say something, but just before the smile fell from her face, her eyes met his and the smile froze on her lips. Zach could've looked away, but he didn't. He wasn't close enough to see the array of colors swimming in her eyes, but he could see her dark lashes framing them, wanting to get closer and stare forever. Their eyes held for a moment before Cammie lifted a hand to wave. Zach, caught off guard because he'd been staring like a lovestruck idiot-or stalker-, jolted back in his seat. He offered an embarrassed smile for gaping so openly, and finally gave a wave in return. She broke their gaze and turned to her companion and said something he didn't here before sliding off her stool.

Oh god, she was coming over.

Macey, Cammie's companion, was grinning at him. Zach looked next to her and saw Tessa sitting on the adjacent barstool and felt his blood rise in temperature. Those meddling awful friends of his. Yeah, some friends they were. And Ethan! Zach had been played; so obviously now he was angry at himself for falling for it.

But he couldn't focus on any of that just yet. Because Cammie was walking over to him and he felt his windpipe constrict. What was he suppose to say? Should he hug her? Shake her hand? Stand awkwardly by because he was so afraid of her flinching at his touch?

This was it, she was only steps away.

"Hi," she said first, not sounding nervous at all, making him feel like an idiot because his palms were sweating.

"Hey," he said, grateful when his voice came out even.

She smiled, tucking her hair behind her ear and her other hand twitching at her side. Zach relaxed a fraction, he knew her nervous tells, and those were both just that. She was nervous too.

"I think that we've been set up."

"I'm sorry I was staring."

Yikes.

They both spoke at once, taking another moment to process what the other had said. Their smiles became even more nerve racking as the words sunk in.

Cammie glanced at the ground, a shy tendency he wasn't use to from her. She was usually so bold and confident.

"We definitely were," Zach continued, pretending he hadn't said anything. "I've been telling them to quit for months."

He saw her swallow. She looked up, but not at him. In fact, it seemed like she was looking anywhere but him. "Right."

He realized how bad that sounded. God, he was kind of being a dick.

"Sorry," he continued. He'd already apologized twice. "That wasn't. . . I didn't mean it like that."

They were both quiet for a moment, neither knowing what to say. Zach wasn't sure he'd ever seen this side of Cammie; hadn't even known it'd existed. He'd seen her vulnerable sure, but anxious and apprehensive was new. She always seemed so sure of herself and her decisions. Even backed up against a wall she could keep her cool; but maybe that was why she was acting strange. Because the last time they'd really had a lucid conversation he'd been digging his fingers into his skin with an intent to harm. He felt his heart sink.

This was never going to work.

Zach cleared his throat. "Do you want to sit down?"

Cammie gave a short nod and took Ethan's stool, Zach knew he wouldn't be returning anytime soon.

"I didn't mean it in a bad way," Zach continued. He didn't want to attempt some half ass conversation about how'd they'd been or something mundane like the weather. He knew they knew each other well enough not to dart around the truth. "It's just been tough."

It was a lame thing to say, a segue for her to start, but he was nervous, and he was doing the best he could.

"Tough," she repeated, as if she didn't quite understand the word; what he'd meant.

Zach nodded, she wasn't giving him much to go on. "Tough."

They both regarded each other for a moment, taking the silence to recover, albeit it was a bit awkward.

"I don't really know where to start."

She laughed nervously to herself. Zach tightened his grip on his bottle. He couldn't do this. It was too much. Too soon.

"Yeah," she replied. "I guess I don't either."

"I don't think this is a good idea," he said. He released his grip on the bottle and looked ready to bolt.

Cammie stared at him, shocked that he was so visibly uncomfortable—because of her. As he pulled a bill out of his wallet to put on the bar she felt herself shift into action.

Her hand reached out to snatch his wrist. "No," she said. "You're not leaving. We're talking about this." Cammie could feel her friends' eyes on them from across the bar.

Zach had gone still. He turned his head, almost robotically, towards her. Cammie's nerves had settled and there was a determined look in her eye. Though it should've made him more nervous; it had the opposite effect. Seeing her without nerves was more the Cammie he was use to, confident and sure of herself.

Zach knew it was his turn to speak but he didn't know what to say. There was still a part of him longing to leave. He couldn't see how this could end well.

"I'm not ready," he continued. "It's too soon. I'm sorry."

There was fire in her gaze; she didn't release his arm as he tried to tug it away. She was appalled with his cowardly actions.

"Too soon?" she asked. "Are you kidding me?" She felt anger she didn't know she was holding on to. She'd been thinking about this moment for months, when she'd see him again. In no part of her fantasy did he say that he needed more time and couldn't deal with it.

"What are you talking about?"

"Zach," she said, almost tripping on the syllable of his name. "I never wanted time apart. I didn't want any of this. You decided it was best for us. You chose not to speak to me for months. And I understood why; we were both pretty shaken from what happened. Did I need a recovery period? Probably. But it would've been easier with you. Or at least knowing that you would be there when I recovered. But you weren't. You never were. I got nothing. That's not what I wanted, not what I want now. I want to be with you."

His eyes were looking at her, yet they weren't focused. Like he was looking at something beyond her; something she couldn't see.

"You aren't ready," he said softly. Her grip slacked and he pulled his arm gently away from him.

She stood there for a moment; feeling his rejection set in. Zach was turning away, not looking at her again. Maybe he didn't want her, not anymore. It was like he was looking for any reason to get away from her. Maybe that was why he'd been so nervous, because he actually hadn't wanted to see her.

Then she thought of something else.

"Hold the fuck up." Her words were firm– loud. "Stop."

He stopped moving and halfway turned back toward her; his expression entirely unreadable.

"There is no world in where you get to tell me how I feel," she continued, looking him fiercely in the eyes. "If you don't want to give this a shot, if you don't want me anymore, that's fine. But you do not get to say that I'm not ready. I know how I feel, and I just told you. If you want to walk away you can, but don't you dare act like I'm a pathetic little child that can't make their own decisions."

His body had turned fully back towards her. Cammie leaned back on her heels, satisfied her words had finally affected him. She saw something, albeit small, jump in his eyes.

He'd heard the inflection in her voice, the aspirations that made her words so charged. He didn't know why he kept pulling away. He'd been waiting months for her to say those words. To hear she still wanted him. That she could still love him. Still, words were caught in his throat.

Cammie could see something stirring in him and decided it was her responsibility to draw it out. This timid and nervous Zach would not do.

"Don't act like a coward Zach," she said. "You're more than this. I don't know what happened to you in the past several months but you look like a shell of who you use to be. If you don't want me; if you don't love me-"

Her words were cut off as Zach lurched forward and landed his lips on hers, swallowing her words as if they were his own. He didn't care if she flinched away from him, he didn't care if he wasn't ready. All he knew was he couldn't have her thinking that he didn't love her.

His hand slipped around her waist and gripped her hip, melding her tightly against him in an instant. Her eyes fluttered close, surprised with the abrupt contact– he'd gone from motionless to passionate in less than the time it took to blink. She wasted no time in melting into him, the familiar electricity binding her to him on a chemical level. Her hands reached for the material of his shirt, her slips sliding sloppily against his. It was a hard and awkward kiss, the pressure uneven, their teeth clashing, fingers slipping. Zach was releasing all of the tense, negative, and overwhelming feelings that the thought of Cammie brought with her. She eclipsed his mind all of the time, and somehow, this kiss was the only way for him to convey that. Cammie could feel the attitude radiate into her, but she didn't care– she was happy that he'd finally made a move, after months of waiting. They continued on until the passion ran its course; the kiss slowing to a simmer. The tension was alleviating, and what lay under the surface- what was rooted and sure- began to rise. His lips softened, his tight grip transitioned into a touch, his hand reached up to caress her face. His relief that she'd been responsive and hadn't thought he was going to hurt her was vast. The negativity was gone, and all that was left in its wake was one undisputable thing: Love.

As Zach finally began to pull away, they both realized it was the opposite of any kiss either of them had experienced. The hot rawness had been the beginning of ravishing mouths, the end was the brief and hesitant touching of lips. Cammie was breathing heavily, physically feeling Zach steal her breath away.

"I love you," he said softly, but firmly, to her. She had no doubt in her mind that it was true. "Don't ever think that I don't. I can't stand the idea of you thinking that I could ever stop loving you."

Cammie smiled up at him and it was her turn to take his breath away. It was that smile, the one she'd first graced him with at the sleazy bar in Los Angeles. The one that caught his attention, made his heart stop, and ultimately fall for her. He ran a thumb over her lip, wishing she could smile like that at him forever.

"You have a funny way of showing it," she managed, oxygen returning to her lungs. Zach gave a sheepish smile.

"Some might say I'm a coward."

She laughed lightly. "I love you anyway."

They could both feel the tension returning, as their heads came down from the clouds. They both knew the heavy baggage they carried. Zach had his ruminating dark past, not to mention the haunting memory of a lifeless young girl. Cammie had her complicated family and her harmful secret keeping. There was still so much between them: good and bad. It would be hard to separate. It would be hard, period.

"This might suck," he said. "This might be a very bad decision." He was still smiling. As if he knew his fate could turn out disastrous, but he wanted it anyway.

"Probably will," Cammie said, leaning up to kiss him lightly. "I don't really care."

He laughed. "You might regret saying that," he replied. "But I don't either. So what does that say about us?"

"Decision making isn't one of our strengths."

"Maybe not," he said. "But taking a chance is."

Her eyes glowed. "I think the risk is worth the reward."

He leaned down to kiss her again, sealing their words, their feelings, as a promise. It wasn't over. It never would be. Their foundation was stronger than any rain or wind, than any storm or hurricane alike. The sun always shown mostly brightly after the days of grey.

This kind of love didn't whither, it didn't die.

"I think you might be right."

YEET

I'm done.

Final thoughts: I'm not super happy with the way I ended this story, there were a lot more levels I wanted to dig into, but I kept rewriting it and kept missing things and this was the best I could do. There are lose ends; some of them are intentional, many are not. I did my best. I'm sorry that I didn't include a Cammie POV for any of the ten months but I prefer writing in Zach's voice, and Cammie in this story is so complex (my own fault, obvi) so she's harder to do. At some point I might add into this epilogue, but it is unlikely.

Consider this my swan song from Gallagher FanFic, I feel I've outgrown writing for this particular Fandom, thought I still adore the books and characters alike.

Thank you so much for everyone that had read this, and any of my other stories. The reviews make the writer and I appreciate you to no end. I just realized it's almost been three years since I first published and I am such a horrible person for making you all wait, I realize I lost a lot of readers but if you are STILL reading this I LOVE YOU because of your dedication. Soooo all in all, sorry it took me so long to finish this story but I came through on my promises: it's complete and Zach and Cammie got their HAE.

Love you guys.

Peace. Love. Zammie.

Tbh if you wanted to review bc I need the self esteem boost that'd be ~cool~