This story will contain some triggering material. TRIGGER WARNING DOMESTIC VIOLENCE! TRIGGER WARNING SUFFOCATION! READ AT OWN RISK! I am warning you. It will contain some heavy emotions, please don't be rude about it.

Sugawara Koushi
Running

I was running. Running away. Away from that house. Away from that place. I didn't want to stay there. I wanted to get out, to hide, to flee. My jacket was loosely zipped up, my scarf was dangling behind me, just enough in place to hide what I wanted to hide. My face was red, my eyes were red, my ears were red. The wind was harsh on my face, but somehow I liked it. I preferred to feel the wind on warm face, it cooled it down, it cooled me down.

I didn't want to stop running, but my lungs begged me to. So I did.

I had stopped and it was only then that I realised where my feet had brought me. I was back. Back in front of my old gymnasium. I took a moment to dress myself properly, zipping my jacket all the way, and to put my scarf around my face like a normal person would. I touched my neck slightly, flinching away and a sigh left my lips. I shook my head and decided to stick around. I had graduated from this school a few years ago. I had met many wonderful people, a very special person and I had found my self-esteem. I had many many beautiful memories thanks to this place.

It was a Friday night, around 10 p.m. I walked around the gymnasium, trying to see if anyone was there. There obviously wasn't. I smiled to myself as I looked through the barred window, remembering a certain group of players that had regained our school's glory. I sat down on the steps to the entrance and closed my eyes.

The cold wind, the darkness of the night, the distant shimmering of the stars, it made me calm, relaxed. I changed my position, leaning back against the door, making the scarf tighten around my neck. I jumped up, tears forming too quickly in the corner of my eyes for my comfort. I hurried myself, pulling at the scarf in blind fury. I needed to get it off my neck. I managed to get it off and threw it on the ground in a hurry. With teary eyes I touched my neck and sighed. I traced the red line I knew was there. I let myself fall down to my knees, covering my face with my hands as I started sobbing. My sobbing turned to bawling, which turned to wailing.

And then I was quiet.

The tears escaped my eyes, but I had stopped making a sound. I was quiet.

I stood up again, wiping the tears of my face as I heard footsteps accompanied by hurried breathing. I didn't turn around right away, I took a few deep breaths and as the footsteps came to a rest, turned around to meet with the stranger.

''W-Wha-.. '' The stranger held his knees and as he was bend forward to catch his breath. ''What are you doing here?'' He looked back at me, his nose was red, his cheeks were red, his eyes were red. He seemed to have taken off in a hurry, not wearing gloves, his beanie messily on light grey hair, his scarf loosely around his neck, his jacket half open. His brown eyes studied mine intensely, they were so intense I looked away. He stood tall, towering over me slightly as he opened his arms. ''What are you doing here?'' he asked again, his gaze softer as he analysed my body language. I hugged myself as I avoided his concerned and curious eyes.

''What are you doing here?'' I asked him, glancing at him from the side of my eyes. He remained quiet and then let his arms fall slowly. He walked closer to me and re-opened his arms. ''How come you knew I was here?'' I asked, still avoiding the body contact. He didn't answer again and reached out to me. I made eye contact and saw the soft look of concern. It filled my eyes with tears again and I launched myself into his arms.

I sobbed into his shoulders, gripping his jacket tightly and taking in the relaxing scent. He held me tightly, stroking my hair with one hand, the other tracing patterns on my lower back. We remained in this embrace for what felt an eternity. I wanted to hold him this close forever, to never let go. I felt safe in his arms, safer than I ever felt before. He leaned in to whisper soft nothings into my ear, reassuring me, making me feel safe.

''Suga, why are you here?'' I asked him as I opened my eyes for a few seconds, before closing them again, resting my head against his shoulder.

''Your mum called me,'' he answered, his hand still stroking my hair. ''She called, saying you ran off and she was worried. I went out for you right away. This was the first thing that came up. I don't know why I went here, why are you here?'' He pushed me away from his shoulder and made me look him in the eye. ''You can tell me, you do know that, right? You know you can trust me. Is it.. '' He gulped and then looked at me with those concerned brown orbs of his, ''is it that guy again? Did he hurt you?''

Tears left my eyes silently and Sugawara shook his head. ''I won't hurt you, I won't hurt you. You're safe now. I will protect you.'' He held my face in his hands, caressing my cheeks with his thumbs and then his eyes fell on the red line on my neck. ''Is.. What is this?'' he called out my name as his right hand left my face and went to my neck. I flinched and moved away from his touch. Sugawara's eyes widened and he pulled my back by my upper arm, back into his safe arms. ''Oh no, oh come here, it's alright, I'm here. I'm here.'' He whispered endlessly into my ear and soon the tears came back and I cried. I cried and cried and cried.

''He - He, he did this to me! He did this to me! Suga, he just did this to me!'' The words slipped out unconsciously but Suga was there to catch them all, he listened, ushered sweet nothings, reassurances. He tried everything he could to provide me a little bit of comfort.

''Now, calm down. Calm down.'' He made me look at him and connected our foreheads, keeping me close. ''Look at me, look at me.'' I avoided his eyes, afraid what they would hold but it took one ''Look at me, love.'' for me to direct my attention on him. Suga's eyes were warm. They were filled with worry but with love. ''Okay, you can trust me. He's not going to hurt you anymore. I am here. I am here for you now.'' I nodded slowly, and Suga smiled ever so slightly. He moved up to press his lips to my forehead and then looked at me again, holding my face close to his own. ''What happened?''

I took a deep breath and whispered, ''He did this to me.'' I felt the shame come up and closed my eyes. My hand moved to my neck, to the red line and repeated, ''He did this.'' I moved back from Suga, needing some distance. I hugged myself and said, ''He came home with a temper.'' And as I started talking, the memory came back, images flashing before my eyes, his scent, his look, his laugh.

''Evening!'' I cheered from the couch, as he entered the living room. I was on my phone, chatting away with a friend of mine, talking about college. He didn't return the greeting, so I let it slide, knowing it was one of those days. ''How was your day?'' I asked, regardless of the warning signals. ''Rough day at work?'' His silence told me enough. He said nothing as he put his coat and shoes away, his tired expression turning to a scowl as he sat down on the couch, opposite of the one I was occupying.

''What are you doing?'' He asked, motioning to my phone.

''Talking to Kiyoko, we're discussing the different college systems.'' I told him, sending Kiyoko a good night message and locked the screen. ''I just finished discussing school systems, I'll be running upstairs real quick to fetch a book!'' I smiled as I got of the couch and didn't think anything of it when he got up as well and followed me upstairs. He went to his room, and I to mine. I looked at my bookshelf and just picked one on random, not having started any. As I made my way back to the stairs I heard him call out to me.

''What a moment.''

''What's up?'' I asked, waiting at the top of the stairs, book under my arm.

''I need you in the bedroom, I can't find this shirt, the red one.''

I walked back to their bedroom and laughed a bit, pointing at the bed. ''How can you not find it? It's right he-

My center of balance was disrupted by a hit on the back of my head. I had no time to think because something had snaked around my neck and was closing in. The book fell out of my hold and I could see it fall and end up a little bit away from my feet. I stamped about and then felt something; a foot. I stamped on it and again, and again, and again. Pressure started building in my head but I didn't want to stop moving. I held the thing around my neck, identifying it as an arm and tried to pry it away from me, but to no avail. It started tightening and tighter and tighter and tighter. I started stamping on the foot again, and then launched my right arm back, elbow pointed at whatever part of the body I could get. My left arm tried pinching the arm but my strength left my body as my mind grew hazy and my vision blurry. My arms fell to the side as I felt my eyes close and after one last kick, the pressure subsided.

I heard a loud laugh as I fell to the ground, coughing, coughing so badly I felt as if I coughed my lungs out. Tears formed and I suddenly realised I knew this laugh. I turned my face to my attacker and my eyes widened. I looked at the man that raised me, that called me a little princess when I was young, I was looking at my father, but right now, he was anything but my father. I stood up, ran past him, down the stairs. I pulled on my shoes, pulled off my coat of the rack, grabbed a scarf and made it for the door. As I was running away from the house, I pulled on my coat, and slung the scarf about my neck. I stopped at the nearest shop and looked at my reflection. I was a disheveled mess. And the thing that bothered me most was the red line, spawn across my neck.

I saw Suga looking for words and shook my head. ''You don't have to say anything, it's okay. You're here. You're here.'' I mustered to say and Suga smiled at me, sadly.

''You don't deserve this. You really don't deserve this.'' his eyes filled with tears but he sniffed them away. ''C'mere, let me give you a hug.'' He wrapped me up in his arms and I sighed.

''You make me feel so safe.'' I muttered and Suga kissed the top of my head. ''You make me feel happy.'' I added and leaned back, still having his arms around my waist and mine were still tangled around his neck. ''You make me feel safe.'' I told him again and then tippy-toed to press my lips to his. ''Thank you.'' I whispered, breaking contact just to kiss him again.

Sugawara smiled at me as he cupped my head in his hands. He leaned in and nuzzled his nose against mine. ''You shouldn't thank me, I wish I could've prevented this.'' Sugawara hugged me once last time before reaching for my hand. ''I should prevent this.''

''You can't. Don't blame yourself.'' I squeezed his hand and he shook his head. ''It'll be fine. I am thinking of moving away.'' I told him and he looked at me funnily.

''Where do you wanna go?'' his brown eyes were filled with confusion. I didn't say anything and instead focused my attention on fixing his jacket and scarf. When I moved to put his beanie on his head properly, he grabbed my hands. ''Where are you going?'' he asked, his voice more demanding.

''I don't know yet.'' I admitted. ''I haven't thought about it yet, I just know I don't want to stay there.'' Sugawara let go of my hands and let me fix his beanie. ''There, now you look presentable.'' I smiled at him and Suga shook his head, giving me a sad smile.

''How do you do it?'' I looked at him confusedly and Suga continued, ''How do you smile at me? Joke around with me? How do you do it, when you're hurting inside?''

''I do it because I am hurting inside.''

Sugawara looked at me confusedly, but I nodded to myself and explained, ''I don't want to be stuck on feelings of sadness, or pain, or suffering. I want to move forward, to be able to live. And being happy helps, joking around helps, I don't want to drag others down my hurt. I don't want to drag you down into my hurt.'' Suga smiled at me lovingly, pressing his lips to my forehead as I continued, ''I have to be happy for the people around me, because they care about me, right?''

''Of course I care about you, you're my special little person.'' Sugawara pulled me closer to him and kissed the top of my head. He walked away from me to fetch my scarf and put it around my neck loosely, hiding the redness perfectly. He reached out for my hand and started walking me to the school gates.

''So, you're leaving home.''

''Yeah.''

''With no real destination?''

''Yeah.''

''With no real plan?''

''Yeah.''

''So, you're staying with me?''

''Yeah. - WAIT, WHAT?!''

I stopped walking and Sugawara laughed loudly, holding his stomach as he watched my expression. ''You can't be serious? You want me to be with you? In your home?'' I asked him and he nodded his head.

''I want you to be safe, you need a home. I have room for you. I want you to be with me.'' Sugawara was so relaxed and easy going about it, it took me a minute to see if he was serious.

''Okay then.''

Sugawara laughed and then he stopped, ''Wait, you're accepting? Wow, you actually accepted.'' His eyes were widened, his mouth open and his cheeks flushed.

''Why? Were you joking?'' I asked, smiling a bit and pulling his hand, ''Come on then, now you have to tell me, where you joking?''

Suga shook his head and walked closer to me. ''I wasn't joking. I do want you to be safe, I do want to protect you. I do want to be with you. I'm just surprised, that's all.'' He squeezed my hand slightly and I smiled at him.

''Then it's settled, right?''

''Right.''

We walked in silence, which was nice. It wasn't awkward, it felt like we were returning from any other date, it felt peaceful.

''I love you, you know that right?''

''I do, I love you too, Suga - No, can I say Koushi now?''

''Yeah, you can. I love you.''

''I love you too, Koushi.''

The End