Chapter 5

Cullen forced his way out of the Fade, awakening sweating and panting for air. He sat up in his bed. It was still dark in the small hours of the morning. His eyes adjusted to the dimness in the room and he remembered.

Evelyn.

He turned and found her awake and looking up at him. She rested her head on a pillow, her dark hair forming a halo and her green eyes wide and shining with a light of their own, illuminating the concern behind them. Just the sight of her calmed his breath quicker than normal after waking from a nightmare and the tightness in his chest seemed to recede back without having to struggle with it.

"Bad dream?" She asked him softly, reaching her hand out across the sheets to tangle their fingers together.

"They always are. Without lyrium, they're worse." He was surprised by how evenly he spoke, not betraying the horror he usually felt when he hovered along the edge of the Veil, the visions still so vivid, trying to gain a foothold in the waking world. But as he sat and thought and looked down at the woman in his bed, he realized the only darkness that still lingered was in the fading night of the sky.

The darkness that so often clung to him after a nightmare, that drove him to abandon his bed more often than not, had already left him and he wanted nothing more than to lay back down. He felt untroubled in a way he almost didn't remember ever feeling. It was...wonderful. He almost smiled but he saw Evelyn's brow drawn together and she was biting at her lower lip.

"I didn't mean to worry you." He said quickly. He truly didn't. He wanted tell her about this new feeling. This peace. This calm that she must have somehow imparted upon him when they joined. He brought his hand to her cheek. It was soft and cool.

"Despite the dreams, is it still a good morning?" She leaned into his touch and though she tried to make the words sound careless he heard the small hint of shyness and uncertainty.

He laughed. He laughed at how she could still sound so innocent in his ears even after the night they had. He laughed at how quickly a nightmare was forgotten when he could return from the Fade and find her beside him. He laughed at how fucking wonderful he felt. But he didn't say all of that.

"It's perfect." He said simply, earning him a smile. He wanted to say more. He needed to say more. He closed his eyes and exhaled slowly resting his forehead against hers, trying to form the words. "You are...I have never felt anything like this." Even with nothing left hidden between them, he couldn't make what he wanted to say come out properly.

She managed to phrase it exactly and without hesitation. "I love you. You know that, right?" She pulled away and looked at him, again with hopeful innocence.

It suddenly seemed so much easier to speak. "I love you too." And it was said. And he felt freer than he had in ages. Free from...everything, and more like himself, alone and without scars or demons.

Evelyn's smile spread wide. She pulled him down and he let her wrap herself around him, crawling under the sheets.

"You're a blanket thief, by the way." She mumbled into his chest.

"What? I'm not!" He said a little too defensively.

"It's alright. I am too. I'll admit I tried. You were stronger. I know when I'm beaten. I'll bring my own tonight."

Tonight. That word suddenly held such promise now when before it only held the promise of nightmares and sleeplessness. Then again, he would gladly go without sleep if it meant having Evelyn, taking Evelyn, loving Evelyn, again...and again, tonight. And every night from this point forward whenever we're able, he swore to himself.

"I should go before it's too light outside." She said, but she only squeezed him tighter.

"Don't." He squeezed back.

"But if people see..."

"I don't give a damn anymore. Stay."

He could feel her smile against his chest.

xxxx

Despite Cullen's apparent indifference, she still rose just after dawn to make her way back to her own room. At some point, when he was thinking more clearly, he would be grateful she hadn't advertised their new sleeping arrangements to all and sundry.

When she was alone in her quarters, she finally felt able to wear the stupid grin she had been trying to contain. Her thoughts were hazy and bright at the same time. Her hair was a tangled mess from Cullen's possessive grip. Her mouth was sore from kissing and she could still taste his lips on hers. Every part of her ached and it was the most amazing delicious ache she had ever felt. And her skin...Maker, her skin still smelled like him.

She wanted to feel like this forever. High and wild and exhausted and unable to catch her breath. She refused to even bathe. She decided to just pull her hair up and change her clothes. If Josephine complained about her appearance while they still had important guests in residence, well, as Cullen said, she didn't really give a damn anymore. At least not for today.

She decided to take her breakfast in the main hall. It was earlier than she was accustomed to being up and about and there was something refreshing about rising early for a change. Or maybe everything was going to seem perfect today no matter what. Because that was how she felt. Perfect.

'He said it was perfect', she thought to herself, her idiot grin expanding.

Floating as she was on her own little cloud of contentment, she jumped, startled, when she felt a hand come to rest on her shoulder.

"So. Tell me how he was." Almost as if he had been lurking in the shadows, lying in wait, Dorian appeared behind her and then sat down next to her, all smug satisfaction and self-congratulatory airs. He held up his hands. "No! On second thought, don't. I'd rather not have my jealousy stirred before I've had a chance to eat something."

"If you're going to pat yourself on the back, could you please endeavor to do it quietly?" She whispered to him, avoiding the gaze of all the people now filing into the hall.

Dorian's subsequent laugher unsettled her. She stopped eating and her contented cloud dissolved.

He folded his arms and raised one elegant eyebrow. "Oh, dear sweet girl. The dashing Commander must have left at least one thread of your innocence intact. Did you think no one saw your little walk of shame back to the keep at dawn? Or perhaps you think no one saw the Commander drag you like a primitive across Skyhold last night? Or do you imagine no one heard you screaming his name from inside his tower? And even if you believe all of that, my dear, I would still advise that you keep your distance from people today unless you plan on going back upstairs to bathe. You smell like sex and Cullen." And then he twisted the knife, adding, "Also, your hair is a sorry mess."

He left her, belittled and insulted, with her mouth hanging open, laughing as he went. She resisted the urge to throw a dagger at his back. The perfection of her mood withered as she felt eyes on her from all sides. It was all she could do to hold her head up with feigned indifference as she got up to leave the hall. She wanted to find Cullen, but reconsidered. Absence was probably the better part of valor in this situation so she retreated to her room again.

It was there she hid for most of the day. She kept busy at the work stacked on her desk, not wanting to shirk duty or be idle simply because she chose to go into hiding for a while. If Cullen heard anything like what Dorian had related to her, he would likely be agitated about it and it was in her best interest to let him cool off. There was no sense in fueling the fire.

She would have been content to remain where she was until dark when she could at least sneak over to Cullen's tower. Which was something she was perfectly capable of doing on her own without being detected, as opposed to last night when she was accompanied by a large and, in retrospect, over-aggressive Commander.

Sadly, late in the afternoon, one of Josephine's assistants came knocking at her door summoning her to a meeting. She tried to think of an excuse to avoid going, not wanting to face the astute and far too intrusive glare of the Ambassador. There was no readily available exemption, however, and in this case, absence could be construed as cause for more suspicion.

Like a prisoner on her way to the gallows, she walked slowly to the war room. She pushed open the large door and it creaked and groaned under her touch. She entered to face not just Josephine, but Leliana and Cullen as well. Her eyes immediately went to the Commander and then, checking herself, she swept her gaze elsewhere. She didn't notice that he had done the same.

Cullen spoke first, likely wanting to exercise some control over the situation. "Inquisitor..." He started, appropriately nonchalant, "...we were..."

"Eagerly awaiting your presence. Some of us more than others." Poor Cullen. He should have known better than to try to get a leg up on Leliana. The Spymaster laughed at the flustered blush her interruption drew out of both guilty parties.

"I wasn't...I mean, I was..." Cullen paused and scrambled to grab back his dignity. "We have work to do."

"Of course." Leliana agreed, the laughter not having left her voice.

The meeting was long and uncomfortable. The other women's barely contained amusement, Cullen's stiff determination to maintain professionalism and her unfortunate state of arousal that lingered from last night were all eating away at Evelyn's patience. She would swear Leliana and Josephine were dragging this out on purpose.

When business finally concluded. She glared at the two women and spoke with a cutting bite. "Are we finished here, then?"

"I believe so, Inquisitor." Leliana's musical lilt was infuriating. "Thank you for attending to these things. You appear tired. Perhaps tonight you'll find some rest..." And she snickered under her breath as she strolled leisurely out of the room. Josephine moved to follow, but stopped short of exiting and turned back to Cullen and Evelyn seeming to remember one last issue.

"Oh, and Commander," The Ambassador addressed him pointedly. "In the future, please come to me before you take it upon yourself to alter any of the Inquisition's official policies on foreign relations."

Cullen's face went pale and his eyes went wide. His fingers tightened their grip on the pommel of his sword. Evelyn absently noted that she was right when she told herself she wouldn't be able to look at those fingers the same way again. She shifted her weight and bit her lip trying to ignore the fluttering feeling between her legs.

Clearly shamefaced, the Commander appeared only to be able to utter part of a stuttered reply. "I...uh..."

Evelyn looked back and forth between Cullen and Josephine, not liking being out of the loop. "Is there something I should know?" She asked.

Josephine answered but never took her withering gaze away from Cullen. "Earlier today, during their meeting which I had presumed was to discuss military matters, the Commander felt it necessary to inform the Ambassador from Starkhaven that you are not currently, nor will you be in the future, accepting any proposals of marriage from any interested parties whether they be presented as means for an alliance or not."

Evelyn raised an eyebrow and turned to Cullen. With no apparent defense against Josephine's accusations and, having misplaced his self-respect somewhere outside this room, he just groaned and hung his head, rubbing his eyes with his free hand.

Declaring victory and satisfied at reducing their Commander to a child caught with his hand in the cookie jar, Josephine turned on her heel and left with a curt, "Inquisitor" as her only parting word.

When the door slammed shut behind her, Cullen let out a growl.

"Andraste's Ass!" He cursed.

"Blasphemy, love? Really?" Evelyn laughed, never having heard him take the holy lady's name in vain.

"Those two..." But he stopped himself before he finished saying what those 'two' were. Leliana would fine out somehow and as exasperated as he was, she knew he had no desire to look over his shoulder for the next week.

"Did you really say that to the Starkhaven Ambassador?" She walked around the large map laden surface to stand in front of him, her skin tingling just by being close to him again.

"Of course I did." He said fiercely, but then he closed his eyes and took a few slow breaths. When he opened his eyes again, he stepped towards her. She retreated backwards to lean against the table, wondering if he would follow. He advanced no further, but he did bring one gloved hand up to cup her cheek. His golden eyes, which just a moment ago blazed with frustration, now held a smoldering earnestness. "This war won't last forever. When it started I hadn't considered much beyond our survival. But things are different now."

He looked down at her, at her lips, at the hollow of her throat, at the slope of her collarbone where it lay hidden beneath her clothes. He looked everywhere but in her eyes, something inside him too insecure to meet her gaze. "I find myself wondering what will happen after. When this is over, I won't want to move on...not from you. But I don't know what you, that is, if you..."

He couldn't seem to put words to what they both knew he wanted to say. Evelyn was struck by his shy uncertainty when only hours ago, as he was rising and falling atop her, he was strength and confidence personified.

"Cullen, do you need to ask?" She chided gently.

Something in him calmed at her words and a now familiar feral grin found its way back to his face. "I suppose not." He said low as he leaned forward, reaching out and lifting her to sit on the hard wood surface.

This time, when he swept the things obstructing their movement away it was deliberate and he didn't even flinch as various items clattered to the floor. He pushed her back and climbed up to hover over her.

"Cullen!" She gasped as his mouth descended to her neck. She tried to sound appropriately scolding, but she hardly had it in her to protest. "What if they come back in?"

"They wouldn't dare." He mumbled the threat against her throat.

"But aren't you...Hnnnn..." His clever hands had found their way inside her tunic. She arched under his deft touch. She started again, though now a bit breathless, "Aren't you upset that everyone knows?"

He gathered her legs up and wrapped them around his waist, pressing himself against her and drawing from her a deep moan. Obviously pleased at her response, he looked down at her with a crooked smirk. "If there were nothing here for people to talk about I would regret it more." And he descended on her again.

"Do you have any regrets Commander?" She asked, anticipation building inside her.

"None." Clothes started falling to the floor.

She remembered his objection last night to consummating their relationship on his desk. "So it's acceptable for the second time to be on top of a table, then?"

"Love, everything from this point onward is fair game..."

xxxx

Dorian was nursing a bottle of wine in the garden. The sun had just set. He sat in front of the chess board, the pieces of a half-played game left on it. He relaxed back in his chair, enjoying his victory over first times and nameless phantasms.

He smiled amicably when Leliana slid quietly into the chair across from him. "Sister Nightingale, lovely evening, is it not?" He raised his glass to her in salutations.

"A lovely evening for lovers." Her soft voice was like a song.

"And where might the lovers in question be at the moment?" He asked, taking a slow sip of wine and letting it rest on his tongue as he thought of the things they could be getting up to.

"Last I heard he was having her in the war room."

"Hm. I do hope they put things to rights when they're finished. I would hate to set out for The Hissing Wastes, when we really should have been on our way to The Emerald Graves, simply because our Commander needed somewhere to rest her ass."

Leliana laughed. "I shall personally assure that no strategies were affected by their amorous activities."

They sat in silence for a moment, listening to crickets and watching fireflies.

"Thank you again, Dorian, for your help. I would have had trouble finding another way to hurry those two along. They should both be much happier now. And much more useful."

Dorian regarded the Spymaster with something akin to esteem. He lifted his glass again. "To productivity, then?"

"To happy friends." She smiled beneath her hood.

Dorian smiled back. "I'll drink to that."

xxxx

A/N: Thanks for reading! I just can't stop reading and writing about these two!