So... This idea came to me after the recent 'Hobbit' craze, and my eventual love of this fandom...
...and hate towards the movie for just leaving all these sad deaths and loose ends.
In fact, most of the fandom ends up being a bit too serious when it comes to 'The Hobbit'.
So, I will now take the time to go ahead and start something.
I feel like it's going to crash and burn.
It all depends on how well it's received.
And on how easy it is for me to write.
Other than that, I hope you all enjoy!
I do not own 'The Hobbit', both Peter Jackson movies and Tolkien books.
I also do not claim ownership of the original idea of 'Time Loops'
Important Tip:
A three-line break indicates the start of a new 'Loop'/'Rebirth'; two-lines means a simple time-skip in the same 'Loop'/'Rebirth'
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It was rather worrying to wake up at age 50 again.
Last Bilbo remember, he had been sailing with his dear nephew, Frodo, to the Undying Lands of the Elves. He had lain down on the bed to catch some well-needed rest...
And now he was back in Bag End, in the prime of his life.
He was honestly a bit concerned the sea air did something to his head.
When he checked the calendar (after running about his smial for about an hour, in an utter panic), Bilbo nearly fainted dead in shock at the date.
It was exactly a week before Gandalf had first arrived outside his door.
He knows.
He recorded the date.
All his senses were telling him that yes, this is real, Bilbo, but his mind refused the sheer possibility of this happening to him.
Why would Yavanna be so cruel to him?!
He had no desire whatsoever to see his dwarves, his Company, go gallivanting off to their deaths!...Again!
Well! If he was being forced to do this again, then he might as well do it right!
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It ended in disaster.
Honestly, Bilbo was rather surprised at the different outcome to his adventure.
It probably didn't help that the dwarves never fully trusted him and his bizarre ability to be in the exact right place at the exact right time. If they had trusted him like they first did, Thorin might've listened to him when he tried to break his friend free from the ensnarement of the dragon-sickness.
Instead, Thorin remained holed up in his Mountain...
The dwarves of the Iron Hills fell at the hands of the orc hoarde...
And Thranduil barely managed to escape with a little under half of the soldiers he brought.
Bilbo, on the other hand, was caught in the arm by a stray arrow. Apparently, the Ring's enchantment didn't seem to cover 'arrows sticking out of your damn body!', so it was rather easy for a slightly-more-intelligent-than-normal orc to dispose of him quickly afterwards.
And Bilbo re-awoke in Bag End.
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The second 'do-over' was somehow even worse than the first.
Instead of simply hiding his knowledge and working overtime to keep his friends from dying (whilst pretending that yes, I just happened to pull Kili out of the path of that arrow), Bilbo waited until the entire Company had gathered and explained his 'dilemma' to them.
He was immediately denounced as a lunatic, and the Company left within the hour.
The last anyone heard of the thirteen dwarves, they had been caught by three trolls on the outskirts of Rivendell.
There were no survivors, save Gandalf.
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By the tenth 'Rebirth', as he began to call it, Bilbo had quite enough of this insanity, thank you very much!
He was almost positive some deity up above was attempting to play a practical joke on his soul for the rest of eternity!
It was rather a shock to be 'Reborn' the ninth time, and to have... *ahem*... different parts.
It was just hi-her, though. She was the only one to have been 'altered' in such a way.
She didn't even bother to try and change the outcome of the quest, save for keeping Thorin and his nephews alive.
Which actually worked out in her favor, for once!
The only problem was how awkward it was once Thorin attempted to court her.
And she accepted.
And they got married in a year.
Bilbo was rather confused about the whole ordeal now, even though he was completely fine with it during that particular 'Rebirth'.
It didn't matter now. He didn't think of Thorin in that way at all, and they would be nothing more than friends this time around.
Of course, his stunning blue eyes did always make it difficult for Bilbo to think clearly.
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It was official.
Bilbo was 'Thorin-sexual'.
He wasn't going to say he enjoyed male company more, oh not at all!
It's just that he found himself extremely attracted to Thorin himself. No one else.
It seemed mostly proven during the twenty-second 'Rebirth', in which Bilbo was the only member of the company (save Gandalf) to have remained male.
It was definitely proven when the whole of Middle-Earth seemed to switch genders during the forty-eighth Rebirth.
Both times, Bilbo and Thorin ended up falling for each other.
And getting married.
They also happened to do the same in most of the other Rebirths, save for a few times earlier when Bilbo was still confused about everything in general.
By now he was completely sure about what he wanted in life.
And by Yavanna, he wanted Thorin.
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The first major change happened during his hundredth Rebirth.
He had almost been planning to do a small celebration before the Quest, simply because he doubted any other living being managed to live a hundred lifetimes.
Oh dear.
He was really turning into a Mad Baggins, wasn't he?
Ah, well, living gets boring after a while; he figured he might as well see how badly things could get out of hand, if only to get a kick out of it.
Anyways! He had gone through the whole meal with the Company, but noticed something odd about the archer of the group.
Kili seemed to be troubled, Bilbo saw, and his brother was utterly confused as to why. For the first time he's seen these two together, Kili wasn't telling Fili his worries.
That usually meant something bad.
He managed to catch the two siblings before they went to their sleeping quarters.
"Ah, Fili and... Kili, yes?" Receiving a nod in response, Bilbo continued. "Neither of you would mind if I asked Kili to come a talk for a while, would you?" Sharing a confused glance, Kili shrugged in affirmation, and Fili did the same.
"No problem with it, Master Bog-Baggins..." Kili corrected himself quickly. Fili nodded his approval as well, and continued on his way while Bilbo led Kili out into the backyard to his garden. The sat side-by-side in the cool patch of earth, far enough away so not to have an eavesdropper.
"I noticed you seemed troubled when you first walked in... Care to explain?" Kili scoffed at the request.
"You'll think me mad..." Bilbo raised an eyebrow in challenge.
"Oh really? Tell me, did you happen to die at the Battle of the Five Armies, only to wake up, fresh and new, only a week ago?"
Kili's mouth dropped open, and he stared at the Hobbit in shock.
"B-B-Bilbo?! Y-y-you're here too?!" Bilbo nodded with a warm smile, and Kili practically tackled the Hobbit with a hug.
"I w-was s-so worried! I thought I w-was going m-mad!" Kili sobbed into Bilbo's shoulder, who patted his friend's back comfortingly.
"Don't worry, Kili; I felt the same my first time through." Kili's head shot up.
"You mean, you've done this before?!"
"Oh yes! This actually happens to be the centennial of my first 'Rebirth', as I've called it!" Bilbo exclaimed cheerfully. Kili seemed to turn white as a ghost, and remained frozen in shock.
"A hundred times?" he whispered hoarsely. Bilbo nodded solemnly.
"'Fraid so, dear wolf. Luckily, there are some 'Wild Cards' you could say, that keep everything from getting monotonous."
"What do you mean?" Bilbo cringed.
"Erm... well... we can discuss that later. For now, what exactly is our plan for this go-around, now that you're here besides me?" Kili hummed in thought.
"Well... not getting shot with that Morgul Arrow is a good start!" Bilbo chuckled warmly.
"I'd have to agree, my little wolf."
"Why are you calling me that?"
"What?"
"'Little Wolf'? Only family knows about that little nickname..." Bilbo suddenly flushed a bright red, and began to stutter.
"N-N-never you m-mind!" Kili's grin suddenly vanished at the forbidden thought running through his head.
"...Nooooo!" Kili gasped. "You... and Uncle?!" Bilbo groaned. "I can't believe it!...should I start calling you 'Uncle Bilbo', now?"
"Shush up, you!"
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It wasn't until three Rebirths later did Kili remember again.
"Thank goodness you remember this time!"
"'This time?' You mean you've Rebirthed without me?" Bilbo nodded.
"Have you done the same?" Kili shook his head. "Then, whatever this force is... maybe it'll randomly choose if you go back or not?"
"You've done it all three times since I first joined?" Bilbo nodded,and Kili frowned. "And you were the one to originally start... so maybe it's just you?"
"What do you mean?"
"Well... let's pretend and say you're, like, the Arkenstone-"
"Horrible example."
"Let me finish... So, it's like you're the Arkenstone, alright? There's ever only going to be you and only you for eternity, you get it? Everybody else is probably the random coins and gems that pass through; we'll be there sometimes, but then we're not until we make our way back." Bilbo blinked in surprise.
"That... was actually a good analogy; nice work." Kili sniffed mock-haughtily.
"I do have some intelligence, thank you very much!" Bilbo snickered alongside Kili for a moment, then they lapsed into silence.
"It does seem as though I have some significance to... whatever this Rebirthing thing is..."
"How so?" Bilbo grimaced and looked away quickly.
"W-well... you know how many times I Rebirthed, yes?"
"Yes."
"And... and you'd probably understand how very upsetting it was to see you all just... I mean, there were too many times I looked upon y-your body, Kili! You were just... just lying there, and I couldn't do a thing to save you..." Kili's eyes widened as the sickening revelation fell upon him.
"B-Bilbo... y-you can't tell me you tried to... to..." he broke off in horror as Bilbo uncuffed his right sleeve to show a long, jagged scar running up the bottom of his forearm. "What?" he breathed in shock.
"At the time, I didn't notice... but I saw that, the closer I came to... well, that... everything else seemed to just... collapse. As though the world itself couldn't stand on it's own anymore..."
"And when you died..."
"I woke up like this; the scar from my attempt remaining where it was, and a note lying right in front of my face. I can't tell you what it said (probably some sort of enchantment, I'd wager), but the gist of the letter told me to not do that again, or face severe consequences."
"Bilbo... promise me you'll never do that again... ever!" Bilbo gave a grim chuckle.
"Trust me, I'm not willing to see what I did again..."
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"We'll need some sort of sign."
"What do you mean?"
"I mean the only reason I didn't make a fool of myself the Rebirth after your first was that I caught onto the fact that you weren't... disturbed."
"Oh, gee, thanks..."
"You know bloody well what I mean by that!" Kili snickered before sobering up quickly.
"Maybe I can stitch something into my clothes?"
"There will need to be an explanation to that one; it needs to be something discreet that wouldn't draw the Company's attention, but would be recognizable for anybody to have Rebirthed..."
"So, I'll just call you Mr. Baggins immediately if I'm here. How about that?"
"That will do just fine. Now, what about me?"
"Just plan the dinner instead of letting us run amok like the first time we did this quest; you always work to make sure your guests are well-fed... once you know they're actually coming!"
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The second major change occurred during Bilbo's 129th loop, and Kili's 16th loop.
Bilbo woke up in a strange room... which also had iron walls and flashing red lights.
He normally would have panicked at such a wake-up call, but Bilbo had learned (around the 10th time he had to deal with an altered world) that if he focused, he could draw up the memories of his life before he Woke Up. Him and Kili had decided to name it that after realizing that they didn't always be Reborn from a specific time. Suddenly remembering every past life felt like waking after a long dream, so they called their awareness 'Awake'.
In any case, he was rather surprised to live in such an age of technological advancement. Really, telephones and cars and television... it was actually rather astounding to compare it to his original life.
Then he realized he was actually a she.
And she was also an assassin for some big government section named... S.H.I.E.L.D?
"'Black Widow', eh?" she mumbled to herself. "Rather striking title, if I do say so myself."
Then she remembered Clint.
And повесить ее if that wasn't Kili.
Huh... new language.
Well, Bilbo guessed there were some perks to living another life.
She now knew fifteen different ways to kill somebody... with her bare fists.
Natascha Romanoff was quite an experience, Bilbo decided.
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"You're never without your bow, eh Kili?" Bilbo teased with a straight face. Kili stared at him in amusement.
"It's actually really weird not seeing emotion on your face, y'know?"
"You know me, Clint, so it shouldn't be that big of a deal," she retorted, adding emphasis on his new container's name. She didn't like referring to a person as a 'container'; they were inside other people! People who had lives!
But there was really no better word for it...(1)
"Agent Romanoff! Agent Barton!" Fury barked as he strode into the office. Both agents snapped to attention immediately. "At ease," he allowed, and they relaxed. "I must admit some surprise at hearing you refer to each other as different names... Care to explain?" Bilbo and Kili glanced at each other out of the corners of their eyes, suddenly fearful for what could happen.
"W-well... ummm... shit..." Bilbo stuttered.
"Language, Mr. Boggins!"
"Oh my god, shut up. You can't expect me to be completely Natascha all the time, can you? At least you and Barton are like two peas in a pod!"
"I feel like I should take offence to that..."
"And? What're you gonna do, Birdbrain?" Kili nearly swore in outrage.
"You said you'd stop calling me that!"
"Excuse me; I'm not here to play 20 Questions!" Fury interrupted in frustration. "One of you explain to me what the hell is going on!" Bilbo grimaced.
"You'll think us insane, sir..." Fury raised an eyebrow.
"You've quite proven that already, Romanoff. Would you care to show me you're not?"
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Fury leaned back in his chair once Bilbo and Kili were complete, wearing a completely stunned expression (which actually shocked Bilbo and Kili as well; he'd never worn that expression in the time they and their containers knew him! Ever!).
"Goddamn son-of-a-bitch was right..." Fury breathed. Bilbo frowned.
"I'm sorry, who was right?" Fury didn't answer her, instead choosing to press a button on his desk.
"Stark."
*What's up, Long-John Silver?*
"Come to my office ASAP."
*...I was right, wasn't I? HaHA! In your face, Wazowski!* Fury was practically snarling in anger.
"Just get over here, now!"
Five minutes later, Iron Man walked through the door.
*Well? Two lives, one body?" he asked as his helmet retracted to show his head. Fury nodded, and Tony grinned before practically launching himself at Bilbo and Kili.
"Welcome to the 'Avengers Loop'! I'm Tony Stark, the Anchor here! What loop are you two from?" Bilbo held her hands up in surrender.
"Whoa, whoa, whoa, Tony... what do you mean 'Loop'?" Stark frowned.
"Oh, is this your first time looping?"
"Again... what do you mean 'loop'?" Kili reiterated.
"The whole 'born again' thing? Pretty much every other person you'll meet calls it that."
"So, we literally loop?"
"Back in time, yes."
"...why?" Tony grimaced.
"Huh... when I wanted to meet you two, I didn't expect to be giving a history lesson here..." Bilbo glared at Tony, which always managed to get her point across to the bozo. "O-Of course, what kind of host would I be if I didn't clarify things for you?!" Tony fixed his 'mistake'. Once Bilbo ceased the look, Tony leaned against Fury's desk while he collected his thoughts.
"Okay, first things first: you're going to meet a lot of people. I mean a lot. You'll never forget a face, but I swear I'll never remember a name until they're in my loop again..."
"Focus, Tony," Bilbo snapped.
"Yeah, so lots of people, but we all seem to agree on one thing. The Yggdrasil has a... 'glitch', you could say."
"I'm sorry, the what?"
"The 'World Tree'? It's literally a giant tree that connects each world to the next in some way."
"Are we speaking metaphorically, or literally?" Kili asked.
"Literally. The World Tree is literally glitching."
"Any ideas why?"
"No clue whatsoever. But a few people who have that sort of 'access' have spread the word that there are steps being taken to prevent the glitch from spreading and to fix the glitch itself."
"And the glitch is causing these 'loops'?"
"No... but the measures taken to prevent the spread of the glitch, are. Each little 'universe' is being put into a 'lock-down' mode for the time being, until everything is back to normal. That's what's causing us to go back in time over and over again."
"What about traveling to other universes? Is that part of the glitch?" Bilbo asked.
"Most likely, yes. The original glitch was causing universes to mesh together, in a way. It usually ended in disaster for some of them, and they've been... isolated, for the time being."
"So then, what do we do?" Tony just shrugged.
"No one really knows... For the most part, people are just having a blast messing things up in their own and other peoples' loops."
"Why are they doing that?! It'll destroy everything!" Bilbo suddenly snapped out, causing Tony to level a suspecting glare at her.
"...you attempted suicide too, didn't you?" Bilbo turned white as a ghost, and Tony raised his hands placatingly. "It's alright; every Anchor has done it at least once. It's practically been an induction ritual, per say," he joked half-heartedly, but broke off seeing the look on her face. "Look, it's okay to have fun in the loops. The problem is that you, as the Anchor, have to maintain yourself."
"Why?" Bilbo croaked.
"Because the Anchor is literally the structural support of the Loop. They have to keep themselves stable so the Loop remains stable. That's why you're allowed to have some fun once in a while; you can't just do the routine over and over again. It'll break you, and I'm sad to see some Loops disappear because the Anchor couldn't take it anymore." Bilbo chuckled grimly.
"So, no pressure or anything, right?" Tony smirked.
"There shouldn't be. You could probably call this the 'Vacation of the Millenia'!" Bilbo and Kili snorted at the thought, and seemed to cheer up pretty quickly. With all seriousness out of the way, Tony clapped his hands together excitedly.
"Right then! Let's get your Loop recorded into JARVIS, shall we?"
"Wait, JARVIS?!" Tony nodded excitedly.
"Yeah! I managed to figure out a way to keep a permanent database of all the Loops on JARVIS' system! Other tech-guys in other Loops did the same thing, and we're keeping track of any new faces for old, and old faces for new!" Tony suddenly flipped a switch on his suit, causing a little disk to pop out. Setting it on the desk, holograms lit up the air above it, allowing Stark into the database he compiled. "Alright! Name of the Anchor, please!"
"Bilbo Baggins," she answered. Tony seemed rather surprised, but he entered the data.
"Really? 'The Hobbit' Loop finally came in, then?" Both Bilbo and Kili froze in absolute shock, memories of the book from Natascha and Clint's point of view flooding their heads.
"No way..." Bilbo muttered, before she and Kili both fainted. Tony stared down at them in light amusement.
"Not every day you see Natascha faint, huh Scar?" He looked up to see Fury having long-since fainted himself at the information overload Tony gave out."Oh... Welp! Blackmail time it is, then! JARVIS: take photos of all three unconscious victims after I finish... 'redecorating' them!"
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"This is impossible!" Bilbo ranted as he read through the book. "I'd call this plagiarism if I had written it before my Loop's start!" Kili just stared at the pages blankly.
"So... how does this usually happen?" Tony smirked as he held an ice-pack to the shiner Natascha/Bilbo had given him in response to his 'enhancements', as he called them.
"Well... pretty much take anything that's 'fictional' media, and blammo! It's not fiction; it's fact!" He snorted in amusement. "I had a similar reaction once I found out I was a comic-book figure, and that I had several movies made with me as a character."
"But still! To think people are able to record the events of our lives so accurately! It's actually a scary thought..." Tony only shook his head.
"You get used to it after a while... Anyways, what do you two want to do while you're here?" Tossing the book away in a fit of panic, Bilbo slumped down in her seat and shrugged.
"I dunno... What does a person normally do?" Tony smirked evilly, and both Bilbo and Kili felt a chill run down their spines.
"Oh, I'm gonna have to teach you two how to party..."
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Bilbo woke up with a pounding headache.
That was the last time she'd let Stark give her beer.
Luckily, Natascha's body seemed able to maintain balance no matter how heavily intoxicated she was...
...otherwise Clint would've been shot in the head eight different times.
Hey, just because she was coordinated doesn't mean she didn't get stupid ideas!
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Fifteen loops later, all in their original universe, thankfully, Kili became the happiest dwarf in Middle-Earth.
He woke up to hear Fili having a fit of some sort in their room at some inn they had stopped at on the way to The Shire.
"No! Get off of me or I'll stick my sword up your-... Wha-where am I? Is... this is that inn that Kili and I..."
"Fili!" Fili yelped in shock and tumbled backwards as he tripped over the foot of his bed. Kili practically jumped on top of him, and began shaking him and hugging the life out of him. "Oh, I'm so happy you're Looping too! You won't believe it! Bilbo's been living for so long on his own, and then I joined him, and then we went to some other loop, and now you're Awake, and we can both-" Fili raised his hands in surrender.
"Whoa whoa whoa, Kee! Slow down! Just... tell me what in Mahal's name is going on!" Kili groaned in annoyance, not wishing to be the teacher.
"So, like, we're living in Time Loops now, okay? Basically, at some random point in the future, we'll go back in time to right... about... five minutes ago, and then everything restarts. You get it?" Fili blinked dumbly as he tried (and failed) to comprehend his situation. "Ugh, look, we'll just have Bilbo explain this to you when we get to his house later."
"Wait, so we're literally going to his house again? Like we did-"
"When we first started this quest, yes, we are."
"...are the three of us the only ones who actually remember?"
"Unfortunately, yes."
"...I hope you're not planning on dying this time around."
"I could say the same to you!"
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After that, Fili and Kili had Awoken in every Loop together. Sometimes they Woke separately, but they always managed to share the loop by the next Reset.
Of course, they had some... interesting Awakenings for those Loops...
One time, Kili Woke Up during their run from the first orc pack, and ended up tripping during the middle of it and nearly got his head bit off by a riderless warg. Luckily, Bilbo (who had ample time now to train himself in the art of combat) quickly dispatched said warg with a well-placed throwing knife.
Another time, Fili Awoke while they were holding onto the trees for dear life as more wargs tried to shake them loose. He had unfortunately slipped, and the sound he made after the tree branch smashed him in the chest...
Well, he lost many 'man points' with the Company for that Loop, and Kili and Bilbo for several Loops after.(2)
Bilbo wasn't without fault as well, though most of his slip-ups were (luckily) within Loops without Kili and Fili.
But, I mean, come on! Bilbo doubted anybody could 'go with the flow' when you Wake up to Thorin... *ahem-hrum*-ing you!
I mean, really!
He had the best technique!]
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Alright, so this was a short chapter compared to what I usually produce in other works.
But that doesn't mean all the chapters of this story will end the same length!
Oh, no no No!
No.
Just... just this, I think.
I kinda wanted to just get the majority of 'explanations' out of the way, and introduce two Loopers (besides our Anchor) to this Loop.
Pretty much everything after this will be crack-fic.
A.N. Time~!:
(1): I mean, I have no better word for it... If you have any alternate ideas, just let me know!
(2): I shit you not, Dean O'Gorman (role of Fili in Hobbit movies) actually did this on the set. You can find it on Youtube in the "Aidan Turner & Dean O'Gorman Rock & Roll Dwarves Extended" video at about 1:50 (for the whole story behind it)
So, at this point in time, I'd like to offer my willingness to receive input (like I'm not always willing...)
I... have little idea as to what to do next.
If there are any dwarves you like to see begin Looping next, I will have a poll up on my FF page. Thorin is out of the question (for now), since I'd like to add more of the Company before I bring him in.
For all I know, he'll be the last to actually start Looping.
That's the most likely scenario... but I digress.
So, Dwarves will be chosen in a poll, and if you have any ideas as to what shenanigans our Loopers will get up to next, just send me a Review&/PM for ideas.
Other than that...
Until next time!
~Kage Musha