Chapter 6 - Vampires' Sexual Drive

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Excerpt from An Examination of Vampirism by Carlisle Cullen, M.D. (1640- )

Almost four centuries of observation – often unintentional – and personal experience, have made me aware of the intense sexual drive of vampires. The drive normally develops after the newborn stage, when the new vampire is primarily dominated by thirst. A significant deviation from this general rule has been noted, however, perhaps because the vampire in question, a female who desired to be changed, had already met her mate and had initiated sexual relations with him while still human.

After some consideration I have decided that the mating bond, which encompasses much more than sexuality, should be discussed in a different chapter. Let it suffice here to say that intercourse between mated vampires – be they of different or same genders – verges on the sublime.

This by no means implies that unmated vampires are chaste. Far from it, albeit exceptions do exist, as I could easily testify. Since loneliness is the bane of our existence, nomads tend to travel as couples, not necessarily mated, but remaining together for protection and solace. In more refined environments, unmated members of large covens of traditional vampires – let's leave names aside for prudent respect – are also prone to give in to their sexual urges with like-minded immortals.

Now, either if you have created a newborn who is now reaching maturity, or if you yourself are one, there are some things of which you should be aware:

Our unique physiology ensures that, once aroused and in the presence of a suitable and willing partner, a male vampire will stay fully erect for an undetermined period of time and has the capacity to experience multiple orgasms in the course of a single session. Immortals, after all, are never tired.

Apart from penetration and other sexual acts leading to or following penetration, many things are bound to happen which should not surprise you:

Utter destruction of garments and undergarments. Of course if you or your partner like shopping, this could be considered a benefit.

Notable destruction of furniture, if coupling is happening inside a building or – if the coupling is happening en plein air – destruction of the surrounding environment, trees in particular. This is considered completely normal and should not create concern or, heaven forbid, cause shame. You need only ensure that nearby humans are not alarmed.

Biting your partner is also absolutely normal: it is a powerful instinct, particularly during orgasm. You don't need to refrain if you desire it, provided that your lover has consented and you are prepared to find yourself on the receiving end later on.

Detachment of limbs due to unrestrained passion. I strongly advise against it, because it is very painful. Furthermore it will certainly mark the termination of all pleasurable activities and might cause a rift in an otherwise good relationship. Personally, I had to help with the reattachment of a penis and it was an excruciating experience for the victim and his companion. Full restoration was ensured, obviously, but it took time.

At this point I would like to note that, as is the case for humans, sexual activities of vampires can be vastly diverse and still be perfectly acceptable, if both partners agree on them. No immortal needs to confine her/himself to what is defined, with a very puzzling modern expression, as "vanilla sex". I know for a fact that a number of strong coven leaders like to be dominated in intimate situations, maybe as a reaction to the stress of their many responsibilities. Therefore no young vampire should worry about expressing his/her desires and proclivities. In any case, borrowing the favorite words of Emmett Cullen, who is writing his own version of my research, remember that "Vampires do it better!"

Now I have to touch the issue of vampire/human sex. Don't be surprised: it can happen, as I have mentioned at the beginning. At the end of this chapter you will also find an addendum graciously written by an expert on this field, Ms Tanya Denali. She has created and is commercialising a set of vampire-proof BDSM implements, based on the suggestions and experience of a Siberian shaman she knows. They will be more durable than those manufactured by humans. Please forgive this small digression, which I hope will be useful for some of my readers.

While I acknowledge that the vast majority of my species feeds on human blood, I feel morally obligated to recommend that sex and feeding never be combined. Using the wise words of a nomad with whom I had a brief past acquaintance, I firmly ask that you don't play with your food. It is an act too depraved to be condoned.

By the same token I have to comment on something I never thought possible, until I was proven otherwise. A male vampire can impregnate a human female. I have no conclusive scientific evidence to explain how it may happen, but my hypothesis is that vampire venom has the ability to preserve sperm in a sort of frozen state and then, in the presence of human heat, it is able to thaw and still be vital. The result is a pregnancy with a very short gestation period which usually ends with the mother's death, because the hybrid creature will use his/her sharp teeth to get out of the womb. There are means to avoid this tragic conclusion – I have direct knowledge of one of such cases. However, you must be aware that the creation of hybrids is strongly frowned upon by the leaders of our species, and the consequences of that disapproval are usually deadly. Thus I suggest that, if you are a male vampire wishing to have carnal congress with a human female and keep her (and yourself) alive, practice birth control.

In our present times there are a lot of contraceptive choices available to mortal women, but, if that isn't possible, condoms will work. In order to affirm this with certainty – there was some concern that venom could dissolve the devices - I have conducted specific research on the matter, with the surprisingly enthusiastic help from some of my own coven members, and I can say that, as it is the case for contact lenses, you have at least a few hours of use before the condom is not serviceable anymore. Keeping in mind the characteristics of our species' sexuality, I suggest that you have a good supply of them at hand before you begin your activities.

There is something more to be addressed, if, as said above, you are a male vampire desiring to entertain intimate relations with a human, but are wishing to preserve her life. Many things could go wrong and you could have a corpse in your hands before you realize it. I once had the opportunity to counsel a young vampire about it, and was able to relieve some of his fears with the following advice.

Succinctly, my suggestions are:

Hunt, hunt, hunt, particularly if you are a humanitarian vampire. The average might be every two weeks, but in this case it is better if you feed every 3-4 days. You can also exercise with frail objects (a peach, an egg etc,) until you are sure that you can touch your human without bruising her.

Desensitize yourself to the enticing smell of her blood. Procure some used garment of hers and keep it with you at all times, changing it regularly with a fresh one.

Relieve your excessive sexual urges with some solitary action before you engage with her. There is nothing wrong with masturbation, and it has many benefits. You will not be so overcome by passion as to hurt her with uncontrolled movements, and, particularly the first times, you will ensure a better performance. Later on, you can even masturbate in her presence and she can reciprocate. It is an exciting experience from which both partners can profit and learn.

If you partner is a virgin, use some caution, because the blood resulting from the deflowering could unleash your thirst. I would suggest to resolve the problem in advance not sexually or, if not possible, to make it happen in the water (fresh water, not salty: Jacuzzi, hot tub, etc.) In general terms, until you are sure of yourself and have gained confidence, the "woman on top" position is advisable for safety reasons.

Don't be overly concerned by your venom: to initiate a change it has to come in direct contact with the bloodstream. So deep kisses are safe (but she must avoid touching your teeth). The same applies to cunnilingus and to fellatio.

Always remember that she is human and you can't go on indefinitely. Let her rest and recover.

If, despite your care, something does go wrong, and your partner is injured but still breathing, you should consider to changing her (see Chapter 8). I recommend you discuss this in advance and obtain her consent. In case the human is not just an occasional lover but your mate (see detailed chapter on the mating bond), you will eventually have to change her in any case, because a mated vampire won't easily survive the loss of his companion to illness or old age.

Now I should write about female vampires having sexual relations with humans. Here I bow to the superior knowledge of Ms Denali, and leave the floor to her.

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Addendum by Ms Tanya Denali ( AD 989 -)

Dear readers, forgive me if I can't employ the formal style of writing for this research. English, after all, isn't my first language by far.

I start by acknowledging what I am and what I owe to Carlisle Cullen. Yes, I did "play with my food" in the first centuries of my existence. I am, after all, a succubus. But it happened that some of my lovers were too enjoyable to kill immediately, so I let them live for a while. In this way I came to know humans better and the need to feed from them was troubling me. When Carlisle and I met in Volterra I had been wondering for a long time if I could change my habits. On learning from him that it was possible, I embraced the animal diet and never looked back. My sisters followed my example, both Kate and poor, deluded Irina, who died tragically. Had she stuck to humans, she would probably still be with us.

Bah, no more of that. Now, coming to practicalities, here are a few suggestions that female vampires wishing to have human lovers should find useful.

The first suggestion, as Carlisle says, is to make sure that you are always well fed before you try to seduce a human. Please, be careful.

As everybody knows, we are cold and humans are warm. That delightful warmth is what entices us and makes up for, let's say, the reduced stamina they have with respect to vampires. But worry not, sisters, there is something we can do about it. Our smell is powerful: let your lover smell you deeply and you will be pleased by the reaction. He won't need Viagra!

Do not bite, unless you want to kill or change your man. This is what makes blowjobs quite difficult and so they are to be attempted only when you are very experienced. Remember, human penises don't reattach.

Try to keep the secret, for your safety and his. Your body – being room temperature - will feel cold to your lover and could be a giveaway, or at least, puzzle him. Fortunately we have a lot of solutions today that were not available in the past. Hot showers, hot baths, electric blankets, a well-heated room… all will work and of course, after a while you will have warmed enough.

Make sure to fidget, blink, change your posture, etc. Absolute immobility is also a dead giveaway.

Humans say that the best road to a man's heart (and cock) is food. Learn to cook – the Food Network is very helpful - and feed him something he will find delicious. Let him believe that you too are eating, there are many ways to make the food disappear before you have to really swallow it but, in case, go ahead, it's a small penance to pay, after all.

Well, that's all I can suggest, I think. I conclude saying I would have liked to make a joint effort of this addendum, since Edward Cullen could have supplied a lot of useful information to my notes – as he could be considered an incubus - but he totally refused to help. I do believe he fears his wife's displeasure and one must admit that my cousin is one henpecked vampire. Pity.

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Notes

Many, many thanks to my prereaders and Betas Raum and Jmolly, to my final editor The Hobbit Ivy and to Jessica314 herself, who approved my effort.

Did I catch Carlisle formal (and pompous) style? I tried to parallel Jessica's one.

For the peach comparison I have to thank Lola Shoes. It was hers, originally.

While mostly in canon, there is an AU element in this story, I am told that Tanya and her sisters discovered vegetarianism on their own. But I liked too much the idea of Carlisle having a role that I left it.