A/N: Notes are, as usual, at the end. Apart from this one: happy birthday Umi-chan!
Disclaimer: I don't own Love Live School Idol Project and this story has been written for the purposes of entertainment only.
It was a fine autumn afternoon the day it all started; the sun lingered lazily in the west, hidden every now and again by the passing of clouds. A light breeze brushed through the grass and rustled everything it touched. Umi was acutely aware of these things; not because she necessarily appreciated them, but because of the impact they had on her shot. Sudden differences in illumination could be distracting, if not outright blinding. An unexpected gust of wind could carry an arrow out of the gold and into the red. She kept a figurative eye on the conditions while keeping a literal eye on the target in front of her.
Drawing the string back far enough for it to rest on her cheek, Umi held herself in place. Her muscles trembled slightly with the effort of maintaining her stance and the sinew of the string complained with every slight adjustment of her body. The breeze picked up momentarily so she waited patiently for it to subside, ignoring the strain in her arms. Patience was soon rewarded; the breeze died away and as fast as lightning Umi instantly let the arrow fly. It landed smack dab in the centre of the target.
Umi allowed herself a slight smile of satisfaction before selecting another arrow from her quiver.
"That was amazing, Umi-chan."
Lowering her bow, Umi turned to the source of the voice and found Honoka standing in the doorway. She wondered how long she had been there. Probably not very long; keeping quiet wasn't exactly something Honoka was well known for.
"Thank you Honoka. Did you need something?"
"Oh… no, not really. Just thought I'd come to say hello."
Umi nodded but didn't otherwise reply. It was relatively rare these days for Honoka to watch her shoot (ever since the time Umi had only lightly scolded her for excessive fidgeting) unlike Kotori who was still a regular spectator. She could tell Honoka wanted something; she bounced awkwardly about on the balls of her feet while looking like she wanted to say something. She had been acting very odd lately (well… odder than usual) but whenever Umi had mentioned it, she clammed up and said everything was fine. She still wasn't sure whether to take her at her word; Honoka could be confusing sometimes.
"Do you mind if I continue?"
"No, go ahead." Just as Umi was about to reach for an arrow, Honoka spoke up again. "Do you mind if I watch you shoot for a little bit?"
"That's fine. You can take a seat over there." She pointed to the small bench for spectators on the other side of the room. Waiting until Honoka had shuffled over to the proffered bench, Umi, for a third time, selected an arrow and this time nocked it to the string. Out of the periphery of her vision, she could see Honoka watching her. She tilted her head slightly so her friend was lost to view; her focus was solely on her target.
Conditions were optimal; the sun was still hidden behind cloud and the breeze was minimal. With a slight effort, Umi pulled back the string, lined up the arrow with her target and loosed. But she could tell even as the arrow left the string that the shot was going to go wide. Sure enough, it landed in the inner red ring, almost straddling the line separating the red and gold circles – still respectable, but hardly gold.
With a brief glance to her side, Umi found Honoka staring at the target, sitting quietly. The sight was disturbing. It was peculiar to see her so… inanimate.
Umi picked up her last arrow and went through the motions again: nock, draw, aim. She held onto the shot for one second, two seconds, three, waiting for the right moment.
"I need your help to seduce Maki-chan."
Umi accidentally let go. The arrow sailed straight over the target but Umi hardly noticed. "You want me to help you do what?"
"I guess I said that wrong," Honoka replied, scratching the back of her head. "I just wanted some advice, you know… about stuff."
Setting her bow down, Umi placed her hand on the low wall for support. She was already feeling faint. This was a subject she wanted to steer well clear of. "I, umm, shouldn't you maybe speak to Kotori about this? Or… someone more qualified?"
"I already spoke to Kotori and she didn't know what to do either. I guess I thought I'd come to you because you're like the most clever person I know."
"I appreciate that, but Honoka… I'm hopeless at… these things."
For some reason, that seemed to brighten Honoka up a little. "Me too. That's why I need help. And you're pretty smart so I figured if I talked to you for a while, you'd be able to come up with some way to help me. Plus you noticed something was wrong."
"What do you mean?"
"You kept noticing I was feeling off. I couldn't say why though because Maki-chan was always around." Umi thought back and supposed Honoka was right; she'd been acting her oddest whenever the composer was nearby. Umi hadn't put two and two together at the time. Honoka sighed. "Maki-chan's so great and pretty and amazing. I bet she'd never be interested in me though."
Umi's gaze had been wandered over to the target during their conversation; talk of romantic feelings had always made her uncomfortable, whether they were directed at her or not. But her eyes returned to Honoka's after she uttered her last words. Such a sentiment was very defeatist for someone as eternally optimistic as Honoka. She hated to see Honoka look so down so, although it went against all of her natural inclinations, Umi settled in for a talk about love.
Taking a few steps forward, she offered Honoka a hand. "Come and help me collect my arrows?"
For a moment, Honoka stared at the proffered hand blankly before her eyes met Umi's. "But you never let me touch your archery stuff."
"Just for today we'll make an exception. Now are you going to come and help me?"
Honoka nodded, brushing fingertips with Umi but standing under her own power. Umi smiled at her in what she had hoped was a reassuring way but it didn't seem to make much of a difference. As they made their way to the target, Umi steeled herself and tackled the subject head on.
"Why do you think Maki isn't interested in you?"
"Well… I guess its a few things. She doesn't like it when I get too close to her, you know? Like I heard her ask Eli-chan to change her position in our latest song so she's not near me anymore. But even outside of practice I think she's avoiding me. She's always with Rin and Hanayo or she's with… And I figure if she liked me… she'd show some sort of sign but she hasn't."
They reached the target as Honoka's voice trailed off; four white feathered arrows jutted proudly from the centre while the fifth rested just off to the right. Umi briefly showed Honoka how to pull an arrow out without damaging it before allowing her to retrieve the rest. Honoka focused on her task, allowing Umi time to process what she'd just heard.
"Or she's with who?" Umi asked. Honoka momentarily paused and avoided her eyes. "You said 'she's with Rin and Hanayo or she's with…'. You didn't finish your sentence."
"It doesn't matter," Honoka replied, handing over the collected arrows. She avoided making eye contact as she handed them over. It didn't take a genius to figure out she was lying.
"If you're not going to talk to me, I don't see how I can help you." A pause. "Come on, we have to look for that arrow that missed."
Honoka trudged silently alongside her while they looked for the arrow. It didn't take long to find. It stuck out of the ground at an angle some fifty feet away, half buried in the turf. Fortunately, the white fletching made it easy to spot. As they walked, Umi tried to fill in the blanks. It didn't take her long to hazard a guess at what Honoka wasn't saying; rumours had long flourished about the relationship between Maki and a certain other member of their group.
"You meant Nico, didn't you?"
"I, uh, well… ok, yeah I did. It seems like they're always together. They became friends like really quickly and even though it looks like they want to kill each other half the time, you can tell they really like each other."
"You've been listening to the gossips too much."
"But you've seen it too. They're really close."
"So are we Honoka. By that logic that would mean you're in l-love with… well, me," Umi had intended to say that with a tone of levity, but her nerves got to her, causing her voice to fail her. Umi busied herself with pulling the arrow out of the ground and hoped she wasn't blushing. Even though there were only feelings of friendly affection between them, considering the very possibility of anything more was embarrassing beyond belief.
If Honoka noticed Umi was blushing, she didn't mention it. She looked very preoccupied. "I guess," she said, sounding far from convinced.
As they started back to the kyudo platform, Umi really started to worry. It wasn't like Honoka to act like this. But then, as far as Umi knew, Honoka had never had feelings for anyone before either. When they returned to the platform, they both took a seat on the bench. Although this topic lay far beyond Umi's comfort zone, she knew she couldn't let Honoka leave without giving her some encouragement.
"This really isn't like you," she said. "The Honoka I know has never let the prospect of failure stop her from doing anything. You've never let an obstacle stop you. You find a way over or under or around it and continue on your way. We wouldn't be idols today if you'd given up at the first hurdle and here we are. Why are your f-feelings towards Maki-chan any different?" Umi silently cursed herself for stammering again.
Honoka shrugged. "Because."
"Because? That's not a reason."
"Because… what if she doesn't like me? What do I do then?"
Umi rested her hand on Honoka's shoulder and drew her closer. Honoka gratefully rested her head on Umi's shoulder, burying her face in the fabric of her practice uniform. For a few moments, they sat in silence, Umi examining the panelling of the far wall while she tried to figure out what to say. She considered the few things she knew about Maki; she was a talented pianist, an excellent student, stand-offish and distant. Unlike a lot of people, Umi didn't put any credence in the rumours surrounding her and Nico; she liked to think she could tell the difference between friendly and romantic affection. Then again, she'd had no idea that Honoka saw Maki as more than just a friend.
But by the same token...
"Honoka…" Honoka shifted and sat up at the sound of her name. She didn't look as despondent as she had before, but she was still far from her usual happy self. "Have you considered that perhaps the reason Maki avoids you and stays around other people is because she… has feelings for you?"
She clearly hadn't from the expression on her face. "That doesn't make sense."
"Of course it does. Maki's the most reserved person we know. I think her natural reaction would be to repress her feelings if she realised she was in l-love. Nozomi has often said she isn't very honest with her emotions. Well, perhaps she's just as scared that you won't return her feelings as you are of her not returning yours. So she avoids you in the hopes that they will go away. I think… she's waiting for you to make the first move."
As if someone had flipped a light switch in Honoka's brain, her eyes immediately lit up and her usual easy grin returned to her face. "You really think so?"
In truth, Umi didn't know. For all she knew, everything she'd just said was completely wrong and maybe Maki just didn't like Honoka's company. But she sensed that it wouldn't do to be uncertain now. If she was wrong, she would deal with the fallout later.
But if she was right…
"It makes sense."
"Yeah… so how do I make the first move?"
"I… umm…"
For a few moments, they both sat on the bench, neither of them saying a word. Neither of them had the faintest clue.
"I guess… you could just tell her," Umi finally suggested. "Just… be yourself."
"Is that all?"
"Do you have a better idea?"
"I guess not… you think it'll work?"
Umi had no idea, but she didn't let her uncertainty show. "I think so."
Honoka leaned in and hugged Umi tightly about the waist. Had they not been sitting down, they probably would have fallen over. "Thanks Umi-chan, you're the best. I'm going to go think about it some more then I'm going to tell Maki-chan how much I lo-"
"That's nice," Umi interrupted, starting to blush again. "You go and do that."
Without another word, Honoka skipped out of the kyudo area, back to her normally sunny self. She didn't seem to realise that she'd left Umi behind in an emotional wreck. Truth be told, she was amazed she'd made it through the conversation without spontaneously combusting.
Taking a deep breath, Umi tried to will her embarrassment away. Picking up her arrows, she returned to her station and resumed her position, tall yew bow grasped rather too firmly in hand. She nocked an arrow and fired.
Six arrows later and her results were appalling. Three arrows missed entirely, two just about hit the outer white ring of the target and the last had lodged itself in one of the legs of the easel supporting the target. To make matters worse, her bowstring had snapped on her last shot. Sighing to herself, Umi decided to call it a day. There was no way she'd be able to concentrate now.
Three days passed. Umi was at home reading a book when her phone suddenly rang. Looking at the caller ID, she smiled slightly at the sight of Honoka's name.
Unlocking the phone, Umi held it to her ear. "Hello Hon-"
"She said yes!" the loud, excited voice shouted from the other end of the phone. Umi had to hold it at arms length to avoid being deafened. "She said yes! She said yes!"
"Calm down Honoka," Umi responded, having to yell to be heard, "and please talk quieter. Who said yes?"
"Maki-chan!" Honoka replied, her voice only a bit quieter but still just as excited as before. "You were right Umi-chan! I confessed on the roof and she said she's felt the same for me for ages. Then we made out and turns out Maki-chan's an amazing kisser-" Thud. "Hello? Umi-chan, are you still there. Hello?"
Umi didn't reply. It was a bit difficult to do so seeing how she'd fainted.
For the next few days, everything seemed to return to normal, albeit with one prominent exception. The day after Honoka's confession, she had gathered Muse in the clubroom and told everyone that she and Maki were together, holding hands with said girl as she did so. Poor Maki had looked profoundly uncomfortable with being the centre of attention, but she didn't exactly try to pull away from Honoka's grip either. And while those two spent a lot more time together now than they had previously, everything else seemed unchanged.
Umi happily continued with her routine, filling her days with archery and idol practice and spending time with her friends. She'd kept quiet about her role in facilitating Honoka and Maki's relationship and was happy to keep it that way. Happy though she was for her friend, Umi still felt a little faint every time she saw them together. She'd already walked in on them kissing twice, which, in her opinion, was two times too many.
On Friday afternoon, she found herself alone in the student council room. For once, she had decided to allow Honoka to skip out on her presidential duties, mostly to avoid going insane from her incessant mushy talk about Maki. Umi suspected the erstwhile president had probably tripped straight off to the music room to spend some more time with her girlfriend. For a moment, Umi wondered if she should feel sorry for the first year.
Kotori was absent too for other reasons; as chief costume designer for Muse, Umi thought it best to allow her time to work, particularly considering the preliminaries for the winter Love Live were fast approaching. The grey haired girl had initially been reluctant to leave but eventually relented at Umi's insistence. So she reviewed the latest concerns of the student body and filed away dozens of different completed forms alone, humming lightly to herself as she did.
She was surprised halfway through her work to find the door to the office opening. Glancing up, she found Eli hovering in the doorway.
"Hello Eli, what brings you here?"
"Good afternoon. I was just passing so I thought I'd drop by and say hello. You're… on your own?"
"Kotori has costumes to design. Honoka… well you can guess where she is."
Eli laughed nervously. "Yes, I saw them in the music room as I passed. Would you like help with anything?"
"No thank you, I'm almost done. But I'd appreciate some company if you don't mind staying."
Eli was already drawing out a chair. "I don't mind at all. In fact… I was rather hoping to talk to you."
"Oh?" Umi said, eyes barely flickering up from the form in her hand. "Is there a problem with the choreography for Yume no Tobira? I'll be happy to review the positions with you once I'm done here. Or is someone complaining about the training schedule again?"
"No, no, nothing like that. Muse is getting along just fine. I was hoping to talk to you about something more… personal." The last word was spoken quietly, but still loud enough to hear.
Umi lost interest in the form in her hand and set it down on the table with deliberate care. She briefly examined her senior and found her to be blushing. It wasn't a sight Umi had ever seen before.
"Personal?" Umi repeated, wondering what could have so vexed the third year.
"It's… kind of embarrassing. It's, uh… well, I was talking to Honoka the other day and she told me about the advice you gave her. About Maki." Umi suddenly had an idea of where this was going. "She said you gave her really good advice and that if I ever had any problems I should come to you."
Umi cleared her throat. "I see. I… I didn't really do anything. I just guessed what was going on. Honoka did all the work."
Eli laughed a little but the timbre of her voice betrayed her nerves. "She said you would say that. She also said that she couldn't have done what she did without you. You saw what she wasn't able to see. And well… I was hoping you could do the same for me."
Umi didn't speak, couldn't. How had she got into this position? Her knowledge and experience of romance were non-existent so why on earth did anyone think it was a good idea to ask her? Honoka she could sort of understand, but Eli? Why didn't she just talk to Nozo…
Oh.
"You… umm, you know what I'm talking about, right?" Eli asked, filling in the awkward silence.
Umi nodded slowly. "Maybe… maybe you should tell me what you want?" She hadn't meant to make it sound like a question, but it wasn't exactly like she knew what she was doing.
"Alright… I think I'm… in love with Nozomi."
"You, umm, think you are?"
"I am in love with her," she corrected herself.
Umi wanted nothing more than to extricate herself from this conversation. But Eli sat between her and the door, and despite her awkwardness, Umi wasn't about to hazard a jump out of the second story window. She fiddled with the corner of the form in front of her, worrying the edge with a vengeance as she tried to think of a way out.
"That's… umm nice." If Umi had a self-destruct button, she would have pushed it without a second thought.
The silence only got more awkward by the second; they looked everywhere but at each other. Umi assessed her rapidly dwindling options; she supposed she'd have to tough this out and have the talk. Awkward as the subject was and ignorant of it as she was, she could at least try and help Eli. And the sooner they talked, the sooner they could forget this whole thing had ever happened and get on with their lives.
So Umi broke the silence. "And you haven't told her because..?"
"Isn't it obvious?"
Umi wracked her brains; it really wasn't, not in the slightest. "Could you maybe… make it a little clearer?"
"Well… she's straight, isn't she?"
"She's… straight?" Umi shook her head. "No, Eli-chan, she's really not. Even I know that."
That appeared to be news to Eli. Her blue eyes widened a little as she puzzled on what she'd just heard. "But she must be. Surely she'd have given some sort of sign by now if she was, well, gay."
"You mean other than those little comments she constantly makes about you, the way she uses… groping as a form of punishment (incidentally could you please ask her to stop doing that) and… well has she ever given any hint to you that she's interested in boys?"
Eli looked troubled, like everything she thought she knew about the world had suddenly gone topsy turvy. "Well… now that you mention it… I suppose I'd just assumed…"
Umi sighed internally; and she thought she was innocent and sheltered. It was almost cute how ignorant Eli had been of Nozomi's obvious tendencies. On the plus side, this conversation would be much easier than the one she'd had with Honoka. Most of what she'd said about Maki had amounted to sheer guesswork; Nozomi's feelings projected so strongly that Umi had simply assumed they were already dating and everyone was just sparing her the gory details.
"Eli-chan, I have some news for you, and this might come as a bit of a shock but I'm completely certain that Nozomi is in love with you."
"Don't be ridiculous."
"Only one of us is being ridiculous here and it isn't me."
"You really think she…"
"Yes I do," Umi replied, getting up from her desk and getting Eli to her feet. She guided her towards the door with one hand rested on the small of her back. "Go find her and tell her what you told me. I'd be willing to stake my life that she'll return your feelings."
"You really think so?"
"I do."
They reached the door. Eli opened it and passed through the frame before pausing. "If you're right, why hasn't she said anything to me before?"
Umi paused. "I don't know. But you know Nozomi better than anyone. It shouldn't be too hard for you to figure out."
Eli nodded, her blue eyes blazing with a newfound intensity of feeling. "Thank you Umi. Honoka was right about you. This has been… very illuminating."
With that she was gone. Umi closed the door and leaned with her back against it, resting her face in her hands. Why did this keep happening to her? She would have to have a word with Honoka to stop her from advertising her as some sort of relationship guru. She'd got lucky once. That hardly made her an expert.
Sitting back at her desk, she tried to forget what had just happened and engrossed herself in the safe, comforting world of high school bureaucracy.
Nozomi and Eli announced they were an item the next day at Muse's usual Saturday get-together. Umi pretended not to notice the looks of gratitude Nozomi kept sending her way.
Word somehow got out: Sonoda Umi was a genius in matters of romance. Seek her advice and she'll tell you sure as sunshine in Okinawa what you have to do to attain your love. She never fails. And don't mind if she faints; she does that sometimes. Bring some smelling salts with you and she'll be right as rain in no time.
At least that's what the first year girls were saying, according to Maki. She'd had the grace to look somewhat abashed when she gave Umi the heads-up; it was partly her fault after all that Umi found herself in this mess. But the whispers weren't confined to Maki's year; Nico had apparently overheard one of the girls in her class considering going to 'the Great Sonoda' for advice. Umi scowled at the title; it made her sound like some sort of magician.
If she was a magician, she'd make herself disappear. Alas, the world wasn't that kind to Umi.
Before she even made it through the gates a few days later, she was accosted by no less than three different people: a pair of first years looking for advice about boys and a girl Umi knew from her archery club who asked if she could have a chat with her sometime about 'things'. Umi had waved them all off, saying she had urgent student council business to attend to and all but dragged Kotori away whenever she tried to open her mouth.
It was just the two of them on the way to school that morning. Honoka believed it was her chivalrous duty to accompany Maki to and from school and undertook it with devotion. That was probably a good thing. If she was here right now, Umi couldn't have been held accountable for her actions.
When they passed into the school, they found it mostly deserted, but Umi dared not let her guard down for a moment.
"You seem tense Umi-chan," Kotori said once they were alone.
"Of course I'm tense! This stupid situation is supremely agitating!" Realising she'd snapped at Kotori, she instantly felt guilty. Kotori didn't deserve that; it wasn't her fault. "I'm sorry Kotori. I shouldn't have said that."
Kotori smiled at her. "You don't have to say sorry. I can see how much this is bothering you. I know! We have another quarter of an hour before registration. Let's go to the council room."
Umi was confused. "Why?" There wasn't actually any work to do. She'd done it all last night, staying late to avoid being ambushed by yet another girl seeking relationship advice.
"Just trust me."
Umi nodded and obediently followed. At the very least, it would be a good place to hide until classes began. The office was on the way to their classroom anyway so it wasn't like they were going out of their way.
A minute later, they entered the office and Kotori closed the door behind them. Crossing to the nearest desk, she pulled out a chair. "Sit down, Umi-chan."
It was strange being told what to do by Kotori but Umi didn't care to resist. The chair looked inviting. Settling herself down, she briefly wondered why Kotori wasn't pulling up a chair of her own.
She suddenly became aware of a pair of hands on her shoulders. "Kotori?"
"Relax Umi-chan and trust me."
Kotori's thumbs began to move, pressing against Umi's shoulder muscles and tracing broad circles on her back. It cost a supreme effort of will to make the moan she'd been about to let out die in her throat. She hadn't realised just how physically tense she'd been until Kotori started easing it away.
"Doesn't that feel better?" Kotori asked, starting to use her fingers too.
Umi didn't trust herself to speak so she didn't say anything. A vigorous nod was enough to get her point across. It did feel good; very good indeed.
A few minutes passed before she reached behind her to stop Kotori's hands. "That's enough, thank you. We should go to class now." When she stood, she found Kotori seemingly deep in thought. "Kotori?"
Umi's voice startled her. "Oh! Sorry, yes, let's go Umi-chan."
As they made their way to their lockers, Umi was just beginning to feel that perhaps this day wouldn't be so bad after all. But then she opened her locker and a cascade of envelopes fell out, landing in a pool around her ankles.
"Oh, this is just the absolute limit!"
A few of the girls in the corridors turned in her direction at her outburst. Ordinarily, she might have been embarrassed about it, but now she was too irritated to care. Kotori bent down and started picking them up for her so Umi knelt down to assist her. Between them, they collected over a dozen sealed letters, all bearing her name. One pink envelope briefly caught her eye – whoever had written that one had taken the time and effort to at least write her name in a very fair hand. She normally appreciated calligraphy when she saw it; right now, she wanted to hurl it and all the others on a big bonfire.
"What are you going to do with all these Umi-chan?"
Kotori held some of the envelopes in her fingers splayed out like a hand of cards, including the pink one that had caught Umi's eye before. Taking them from her hands, she stacked the envelopes in a neat little pile at the back of her locker.
"I'll get rid of them later."
"Oh… aren't you going to read any of them?"
"No. I'm the student council vice-president, not some sort of… love doctor."
Kotori's gaze drifted off down the corridor. "I guess so. It just seems that some people might have taken a lot of time to put their feelings down on paper for you."
"If they can tell me who they're in love with, then they can go tell that person. That's basically all I'd be able to tell them to do anyway." The bell rang; a summons to registration. They started walking to their classroom automatically. "I have no desire to hold myself out as something I'm not. I can't help those people."
"I guess."
Their teacher glanced up at them with a faint aura of rebuke at their tardiness but she said nothing. Umi and Kotori took their accustomed seats without any unnecessary fuss. Honoka looked like was about to say something but decided against it when she saw the irritated look on Umi's face.
At morning break, Umi went outside to take a walk around the grounds alone, thinking the fresh air would do her some good. It didn't take her long to find a somewhat secluded bench, where she sat down and took a few moments to breathe deeply in and out. The fresh air did calm her down somewhat. It also gave her a little clarity. Perhaps she was overreacting a little; sure, she didn't like that people were asking her for romance advice like some sort of tabloid agony aunt, but that didn't give her licence to be rude or abrasive. Thinking of the way she'd acted earlier made her feel ashamed, particularly when she'd snapped at Kotori. She made a little vow to herself to be much friendlier to people, no matter the topic of conversation.
It turned out she didn't have to wait long to test this vow.
"Umi-san, good morning."
"Good morning Fumiko," she replied, greeting her fellow classmate. "No Hideko or Mika today?"
The purple haired girl smiled awkwardly. "Ah, no, they both had something else to do. So I thought I'd go for a walk. I see you've found my secret place."
"Oh, I'm sorry. I can leave-"
"You don't have to," Fumiko replied, taking a seat on the bench next to her. "It wasn't exactly a closely guarded secret anyway. And it's nice to have company."
"Yes," Umi replied, remembering her vow. "Yes, it is."
They sat in silence for a few moments before Fumiko asked her how practice for the Love Live was going. Umi took up the subject with relish and Fumiko proved to be an attentive listener. She asked occasional questions but for the most part seemed happy to just let Umi talk.
It sure did feel nice to have a normal conversation with someone for once. She only stopped talking when the bell began to ring in the distance.
"I'm sorry, I got carried away. Thank you for listening."
"That's ok, Umi-san. Actually I was wondering if I could ask you something."
"Go ahead," Umi replied as they entered the school, blissfully content seeing how the subject hadn't turned to-
"Well, I wondered what you thoughts were on me and Mika-chan."
-romance.
"I… uh, could you be more specific?"
Fumiko hummed for a moment. For a split second, Umi hoped that there was a perfectly innocent rationale behind the question. She was soon disappointed. "Well I love her but I can't figure out if she feels the same way about me."
"I… umm."
"I know you don't know us as well as Honoka-san and Maki-san so I'm not expecting you to be able to answer right away. I was just wondering if you could maybe think about it."
"Ok." Anything to get out of this conversation.
"Great. Well I'll see you later Umi-san."
They parted ways at the classroom door. Umi grimly walked over to her desk and sat down again.
"Did you enjoy your walk Umi-chan?" Honoka asked once she was seated.
"Honoka, how many people have you told about my role in getting you and Maki together?"
Honoka remained silent.
"I see…"
Mika approached her at lunch, sitting down next to Umi in the cafeteria, only asking, "Do you mind if I sit with you?" after taking her seat. "It's just there's not really anywhere else to sit."
Umi could see at least twenty vacant chairs without even trying, but to point that out would have been rude. Remember your vow she thought to herself, even as she felt an impending sense of dread of what was coming.
"By all means," Umi replied.
"Thanks. Am I interrupting anything?"
She'd only interrupted Honoka talking at considerable length about how pretty she thought Maki's eyes were. "No, not really."
"Hi Mika-san," Honoka butted in after swallowing a bite of bread. "I was just telling Umi-chan and Kotori-chan about my date with Maki last night."
"Ooh," Mika replied, leaning in with eyes aglow. "I hope you don't think I'm being nosy but I'd love to hear about it."
Honoka positively beamed. Umi died a little inside. "No problem let me start from the beginning. So anyway, Maki-chan mentioned that she wanted to go to this little Italian place…"
Umi unconsciously tuned Honoka out after that. She shared a look with Kotori; the grey haired girl who was usually so accommodating looked unusually strained. Maybe she was getting as weary of Honoka's monologues as Umi was. She gave her a little smile to show her solidarity; Kotori looked down to her plate and started playing with her food.
Most of Umi's lunch was gone when Mika spoke again. "Ahh, that's so wonderful Honoka-san. I wish I had someone to love as much as you love Maki-san."
Here it comes, Umi thought, mentally bracing herself.
"Maybe someone like…"
Say Fumiko, Umi silently begged her. If she said Fumiko's name, at the very least she could get them together and be done with it. Sure, she'd only elevate her 'legend' as it were to new heights, but she could deal with that problem later.
"Hideko."
Umi let out a little noise of disappointment. Everyone turned to look at her. Now she'd done it.
Mika turned to look back at Honoka. "Hey Umi-san, didn't you help get Honoka-san and Maki-san together?"
Honoka eyed her nervously but Umi didn't have it in her to be mad at her friend. "Yes," Umi said, trying her best not to sound resigned. "Yes I did."
"Well you seem to pretty good at this matchmaking stuff," Umi silently laughed with scorn at that comment in her head, "so I wondered if you could maybe give me some advice."
This could only end badly. "Well..."
"Actually, we have some urgent business to attend to for the student council," Kotori interrupted. "We really should be going. Maybe Umi-chan can help you later."
"Huh?" Honoka muttered. "Student council…" Kotori nudged her in the ribs, "…work is really important. So, umm, yeah, we have to go now."
"Oh ok," Mika replied, looking nonplussed. "Well maybe I could talk to you later Umi-san?"
"Yes, ok. I'll… talk to you later."
With that, the second year trio left the cafeteria. Umi wondered when this day would end.
Hideko cleared her throat, "Excuse me Umi-san…"
"You're in love with Fumiko-san, aren't you?"
"Wow, you really are good."
Umi pinched the bridge of her nose. "So this is the gist of the situation as I see it. Fumiko-san is in love with Mika-san, Mika-san is in love with Hideko-san and Hideko-san is in love with Fumiko-san. So I suggest-"
"Is that true Hideko?" Fumiko asked, interrupting Umi's flow. "Do you really… well, you know."
"Y-yes… and it doesn't matter if you don't return my feelings. I just… well, I'm happy that you know."
"It's a bit awkward though," Mika added, looking at Hideko with an expression of unrepressed affection. "I mean we're all in love with each other…"
As if they spoke by telepathy, the three girls shared a significant look that Umi wasn't able to decipher. They looked from one to the other with shy glances and unspoken feelings.
Before long, a smile settled on Fumiko's face as she reached out and grabbed Hideko's hand. "Well I might be in love with Mika… but I'd be lying if I said I haven't thought about the possibility of… you and me too."
For a moment, Hideko looked too delighted to speak. But then she turned her gaze on Mika. "And I've thought about you a lot too. Maybe not as much as Fumiko but... well I can definitely see what Fumiko sees in you."
Mika smiled at the complement. "You sure know how to charm a girl. For what it's worth, I think I feel the same." Mika took Fumiko's free hand. "It never occurred to me until just now that I could be… in love with more than one person. What do you guys think?"
Hideko reached out and took Mika's free hand, completing the triangle. "I think we've all been really stupid. If you guys don't mind, I… well I'd like you both to be my girlfriends."
Fumiko and Mika shared a fond glance. "I don't see why not," Mika said, Fumiko nodding vigorously along.
It was then that they all turned to Umi, apparently only just then remembering that she was still in the room. "Thank you so much Umi-san," Hideko said. "Without you, we never would have been able to do this. We're extremely grateful."
Umi nodded slowly. "I… I'm glad. I'll just… leave you to it then."
It would probably spoil the mood if she told them she'd been about to advise them to get over each other since none of them seemed to possess more than a one-sided love. But wonders never ceased at Otonokizaka.
"Hey… so how should we do our first kiss?" Fumiko asked her new girlfriends, just as Umi closed the door to.
Umi pondered that question for the remainder of the afternoon too, cursing her sense of morbid curiosity.
Naturally, Umi's reputation as a relationship miracle worker skyrocketed. It was nigh undisputed that she was the greatest 'love doctor' in the world by the time word got out that she'd somehow turned an unhappy love triangle into a loving polyamorous unit. In fact, the only person who did seem to dispute her reputation these days was Umi herself. It was almost laughable to her how undeserved her reputation was; with her three classmates, she had done almost nothing to make the relationship happen. She'd only put them in a room together and simply repeated what she'd been told by them earlier in the day. But that wasn't the way Fumiko, Mika and Hideko told it, so Umi just came across as incredibly modest, which only made people put even more credence into her imagined abilities.
The whole situation was really quite exasperating.
But at least she didn't get any more letters in her locker; she wondered if it was because of her outburst on that day or the student council executive order she had tried (and failed) to pass banning people from posting envelopes in lockers. Either way, her locker was no longer considered a post box, but conversely it was becoming increasingly common for girls to come to her seeking her advice several times a day.
The initial preliminaries for the Love Live came and went: Muse got through by the skins of their teeth. Now there were several months to go until the final preliminaries but that didn't mean Umi took her duties as physical trainer for Muse any less seriously. They still trained every afternoon on the roof to keep themselves sharp. There was no telling how many times they might need to perform before the prelims just to stand a chance of getting to the finals.
After practice on one such afternoon, Umi found herself in an unusually buoyant mood. Practice had gone well and, unusually, not a single person had approached her for relationship advice that day. The nine of them returned to the clubroom to have a quick recap session before concluding for the day. But as Eli and Umi discussed a few amendments needed for the choreography, they were both frequently interrupted by frequent whispers over by the computer. Nico, Hanayo and Rin were all gathered by the screen and muttering amongst themselves, not paying the meeting the slightest bit of attention.
"Is there something you would like to share with the group?" Umi asked, raising her voice just enough to sound menacing on the fourth occasion they interrupted the flow of the meeting.
Rin and Hanayo jumped in their seats and looked sheepish. Nico however looked smug and didn't seem to be at all intimidated by Umi's scolding stance.
"We do, but Umi's not going to like it," Nico responded.
"Go on," Eli replied. Umi prepared for the worst.
"Well looks like word's got out about those two lovebirds over there," Nico said, pointing her finger at Honoka and Maki, the former of whom was currently resting with her head in the latter's lap. "Not sure how but it looks like people have sussed that HonoMaki is a thing. Might have something to do with you two holding hands all the damn time!"
Silence met this announcement until Umi and Maki uttered simultaneously "HonoMaki?"
"It's their shipping name for you," Nico explained. "They're going crazy about it, although for some reason a lot of our fans think me and Maki should be a thing."
Maki looked puzzled. "Why?"
"Beats the hell out of me. Maybe because we argue a lot or something?"
Honoka chose that moment to sit up straight on the sofa and wrapped an arm around Maki's shoulders. Subtle gestures never had been Honoka's forte. "Well I'm a big fan of HonoMaki. So don't be getting any ideas Nico-chan."
"Eww not interested. You can keep her as far as I'm concerned. But anyway-"
"What's that supposed to mean?" Maki asked, feathers ruffled and looking ready for a fight.
"Can we just get to the point please?" Eli interjected. Nico and Maki glared at each other but neither of them seemed to dare risking Eli's ire. They settled back into their seats. "You were saying Nico-chan."
"Yeah… umm anyway, so now that HonoMaki is, in the words of the fans, 'confirmed', they're starting to wonder who else in Muse might be all kissy kissy behind the bushes. Naturally, everyone assumes that everyone in Muse is interested in me, but-"
"Hanayo-chan, what have they been saying?" Nozomi asked, cutting Nico off midflow. Said girl crossed her arms and glowered at Nozomi across the table.
"Well umm a lot of people think you and Eli-chan are together, but I think that's just fan speculation. And, uh… well…"
"Yes," Eli and Umi chorused. Umi didn't know why she was interested; morbid curiosity she supposed.
Hanayo took a deep breath. "Well Umi-chan… there's a lot of speculation about you… and Kotori-chan."
Umi went from zero to blushing in two seconds flat. "What?"
"Told you you wouldn't like it," Nico added.
For a moment, no-one in the clubroom spoke. Everyone's attention was split between the two second years, seeing how they would take the news. Kotori didn't seem nearly as perturbed by it as Umi felt, but then Kotori was much more adept at handling these things than she was and always had been. They shared a look; Kotori smiled at her.
"That's absolutely absurd," Umi exclaimed, unable to control her anger. "Kotori and I have been best friends for ten years. To think that our fans would misinterpret our closeness as somehow r-rom… well, it's just utterly preposterous, isn't it Kotori?"
"…Yes Umi-chan," Kotori whispered.
"This subject is closed," Umi continued, trying to calm herself down. She was becoming aware that everyone's eyes were on her. "This has nothing to do with anything. So if we might continue, Eli-chan."
"Actually I think we're done," Eli said, placing a calming hand on Umi's shoulder. "We should all go home and rest. And you two should stop being so obvious in public," she added pointedly to Honoka and Maki.
"B-but it's so hard," Honoka replied, pouting a little. Maki stroked her hair and her expression instantly melted into one of joy.
"I feel your pain," Nozomi replied. "I'll give you a few pointers on how to hide it better on the way home. Coming Eli-chi?"
The two couples said their goodbyes and filed out of the room. Now that Umi had calmed herself, she noticed that Kotori was looking far less happy than usual. Her usual smile was nowhere to be seen. Had she offended her with her outburst?
"Kotori?"
"I just remembered I promised I'd do something at home for my mom," Kotori said, standing up and grabbing her bag. "See you tomorrow everyone." And like that she was gone. Umi watched her go and wondered if she should chase after her. It wasn't like Kotori to act that way.
Nico cleared her throat. "Guess we should get moving too."
The others stood to leave, but to Umi's surprise Rin sat down next to her. "Rin just needs to ask Umi-chan something about our steps. See you guys tomorrow nya."
Hanayo looked puzzled. Her gaze lingered on them for a few seconds before she bade them good night and left the clubroom with Nico, leaving the two of them alone.
"What can I help you with?" Umi asked, still worried that she'd upset Kotori. "Is it important?"
"Kind of," Rin replied. "Well… I just wanted to ask you for some advice about something."
"About the steps?"
"Umm… not really."
No, it wouldn't be. Still, Rin did look genuinely uneasy, something Umi didn't see all too often. It was quite concerning. Forgetting her usual conservativeness, Umi reached out and placed a hand on Rin's shoulder. "You can talk to me. What's on your mind?"
"Well I guess I'm worried about Kayochin. She's been acting… different lately."
"Different… how?"
Rin looked over to the door, probably to assure herself that no-one was listening in. Satisfied, she replied. "I didn't notice it at first. But since we became idols, I've noticed that she looks in the mirror a lot more, but like not in a good way. She frowns at herself a lot. And she makes these little comments sometimes like how everyone else in the group is cuter than she is. The other day, I heard her say to herself that she needs to go on a diet, but she didn't notice I was there."
As much as she wanted to follow Kotori, Umi put it to the back of her mind for the moment. The more she talked, the more Rin looked extremely concerned. "It sounds like she doesn't like the way she looks."
"That's what I think too. But I don't know what to do. Whenever she says things like that, I tell her she looks great but I can tell she doesn't believe me. She keeps looking at her shoes or up at the sky and she changes the subject. I just want Kayochin to be happy again."
"I could talk to her if you want. But… I think anything I could say or do would be better coming from you."
Rin smiled at her but it didn't reach her eyes. "So will you help me Umi-chan?"
"Of course, you don't have to ask. You're a very direct person Rin. I think you should just sit her down and tell her what you think."
"But that never worked before…"
Umi considered for a moment. "You need to make sure the two of you are alone and you need to tell her that you think she's beautiful the way she is. If she doesn't believe you, tell her as often as you need to until she believes you. Don't let her go and don't let her change the subject. Show her you truly believe what you say and maybe she'll start to believe it too."
The smile on Rin's face stretched a little wider; she looked much better than she had a few moments ago. "I'll try my best. I really want Kayochin to be happy."
"I think she knows that too. Reminding her of that might be all the help she needs."
Rin leapt forward across the table and pulled Umi into a crushing hug. If she squeezed much tighter, Umi thought her ribs might crack under the strain. "You're really good at giving advice Umi-chan. Thanks."
She couldn't help blushing again; compliments always had a way of setting her off. "I-I'm really not. I'm just guessing…"
"It sounded like you were sure before." Rin let go off her and poked her on the nose. "Rin thinks you should trust your instincts more. Thanks to you Honoka-chan and Maki-chan are happy. And the third years too. Do you think I should go and chase Kayochin?"
Umi nodded, trying to salvage some modicum of dignity. "She can't have gone far."
"I'm going to do it right now then," Rin exclaimed with a little jump. "Thanks for listening Umi-chan."
"A-anytime."
"Maybe you should go follow Kotori-chan too."
Then like a flash of lightning, Rin was gone. Composing herself a little and tucking some loose strands of hair behind her ears, Umi stood and left the room, only pausing for a moment to turn off the lights.
As she walked, Umi reflected on what Rin had said. Maybe she should learn to trust her instincts a bit more. And more than that, maybe this whole giving advice thing wasn't as bad as she thought it was. She thought about how Honoka had been that day in the archery grounds; Umi had been able to help her and by doing so had made her happy. And that, in its own roundabout way, made Umi happy too. If she could make the people she cared about happy, then surely she owed it to them to do what she could, embarrassment or no.
To her surprise, she realised she was gradually becoming desensitised to displays of affection. There were so many of them flying around these days that it was hard not to be. But if that was so… why had she overreacted so badly before when Nico and Hanayo told everyone what the fans were saying?
A possibility began to dawn on her.
She picked up her pace, making straight for Kotori's house even as she tried to outpace her thoughts.
Umi rang the doorbell three times before the door was finally opened by Kotori's mother.
"Oh good, I'm glad you're here Umi-san." It still felt strange every time the principal referred to her by her given name, but Umi had known the family many years before beginning her education at Otonokizaka. "Kotori seems very agitated this afternoon. She's up in her room if you want to see her."
"Thank you Minami-sama," Umi replied with a slight bow. "I'll go up now if that's alright."
Principal Minami held the door open wider. "By all means."
Umi didn't need to be told which way to go; she could've found her way to Kotori's bedroom walking backwards while blindfolded. She stopped at the door only long enough to remove her shoes before she was rushing up the stairs and down the hall to where she knew Kotori must be. The door to her bedroom was firmly closed. For a few moments, Umi hesitated outside it. She didn't know what she was going to say; all she knew was that Kotori was upset and she was probably the cause.
Sorry was the natural place to begin she supposed.
Umi knocked on the door three times. After a second, she heard a familiar voice on the other side. "Not now mom, I'm busy."
"It's me," Umi replied, not sure what else to say.
"Umi-chan? Wait there, don't come in yet."
Umi obediently waited in the hallway and listened; she could hear things being moved around before she heard the telltale sound of footsteps approaching the door. The door opened a fraction and a pair of amber eyes peeped out.
"Umm hi Umi-chan. What… what are you doing here?"
"Do I need a reason to visit?"
The door widened a bit more. Umi could make out Kotori's face more clearly. "I guess not. Sorry I rushed off before. Would you like to come in?"
"Please." Umi waited until she was in the room and the door closed behind them before she turned around. Kotori stood with her back to the door looking very unsure of herself. It broke Umi's heart to think that she was the cause. "I'm sorry that I upset you. I'm really, really sorry."
"You didn't upset me. Like I said-"
"You don't have to lie to me Kotori. I know I upset you. I hate that I've upset you. You know you're important to me don't you?"
Kotori met her gaze hesitantly. "Not as important as you are to me."
Umi stepped forward and took Kotori's hands. "You're my best friend. It just made so mad to think that people can't see the beauty of our friendship without thinking there was something else going on. But I shouldn't have reacted the way I did. If I made you think that I don't appreciate you-"
"You didn't," Kotori replied. "I guess I just misinterpreted what you were saying. Thanks for coming to make me feel better."
"I'd be an awful friend if I didn't. So… you're alright now?"
Kotori nodded. "Much better. But maybe if you let me play with your hair for a while, I'll feel even better."
Umi consented, taking a seat on the bed and allowing Kotori to do what she wanted with the long blue tresses. Her imagination for hair was just as vivid as for costume design and she had Umi's hair in a variety of styles before getting out a set of hair curlers, declaring Umi would look cute with ringlets. Umi didn't particularly care for the idea, but seeing how animated it made Kotori made her hold her tongue and nod her consent. As Kotori set to work with the curlers, she asked a question.
"Do you think we ever come across as coupley to people? Other than our fans I mean?"
Umi shrugged, not wanting to know what people thought of them. "I couldn't say."
"Hmm, do… do you ever think we're too close for friends?"
The possibility she'd considered on her way to Kotori's house returned to the forefront of Umi's mind. The thought of…
"No," Umi replied. "I think we're fine just the way we are."
Kotori hummed in agreement and silently continued her work on Umi's hair. Umi wished she could figure out what was going on in Kotori's head. She had no way of knowing that Kotori wondered the same thing about her.
The next day as Umi approached school with her two friends (for once, Maki had convinced Honoka that she didn't need escorting to school) they were intercepted at the gates by an orange blur.
"Umi-chan! I need to talk to you again!" It was Rin and she wore a most curious expression: somewhere between confusion and delight. Umi didn't get a chance to think about it for long. Rin grabbed her wrist and dragged her away.
They didn't go far. They stopped at a secluded corner of the school out of earshot of passersby. Caught off guard as she had been, Umi found herself out of breath and struggled to maintain an upright posture. Rin bounced from foot to foot.
"So what is it?" Umi asked once she'd recovered her breathing. "Did you talk to her?"
Rin nodded. "Yeah. I asked Kayochin to come to my house for a while and when we got to my room we got to talking. I told her the things you told me to tell her. I said that she didn't need to worry, that she was beautiful as she was and that she should be happy. And… umm…"
"It's ok, I'm listening."
"Well she told me she was," Rin looked side to side before leaning to whisper, "in love with somebody. And she said if she really was beautiful then the person she loved would notice too."
"I see… and did she mention who it was that she… loves?" Umi already had a pretty sure idea of where this was going.
For once, Rin didn't answer straight away. She continued to hop from foot to foot as though playing a game of hopscotch against herself. Once again, she kept her eyes downcast.
"Umm yeah," she finally said.
"It was you, wasn't it?"
The shock on Rin's face would have been comical if Umi was the sort to laugh at others. "How did you guess? That's really amazing!"
"So… what did you do?"
"I remembered what you said about making her believe that I meant what I said. She looked really nervous so I… kissed her. And Kayochin… kissed me back too. So we're kind of girlfriends now."
"That's lovely… so what did you need to talk to me about?"
"Well everyone says you're like the queen of relationship advice so I was wondering where I should take Kayochin on our first date. It has to be super special because Kayochin deserves the best."
Umi was spared answering by the bell. "I don't think she'll mind so long as she's with you. See you later," Umi said, hurrying off to classes and leaving a thoughtful Rin behind her. Umi wondered if there was something in the air; everywhere she looked, people seemed to be falling in love.
Things seemed to calm down for a while after that. Hanayo had bought Umi a giant rice ball in thanks for her role in getting her and Rin together. It was so huge that she'd been obliged to share it with the rest of the group. Honoka and Hanayo ate so much between them that they had to be nursed for a while by their respective partners, not that Maki or Rin seemed to mind all that much.
Umi settled into a new routine; archery twice a week, idol practice every day, student council duties whenever she could find the time and creating one or two new relationships a week. The last of these things wasn't something she set out to do; it just happened whether she liked it or not. It became so commonplace to her that she gradually became used to it.
There was one thing that she hadn't become accustomed too though…
"Sonoda-san," said the girl, a second year from the other class. Umi remembered her name was Hisano but knew next to nothing else about her. "I wanted… to give you these." She held out a box of chocolates. "I… please accept these as a token of my feelings for you."
Umi leaned back into her chair, steepling her fingers as she tried to think what to say. Fortunately no-one else was around; it was an hour yet before classes were meant to start and Umi had arrived to the student council room early to take care of some work. Apparently, people had noticed this habit of hers. This wasn't the first time she'd been interrupted in the morning.
"I'm sorry… I don't have the right to take… that which I cannot return. Please forgive me."
Tears sprang to the other girl's eyes, making Umi feel even worse than she already had. Could she have perhaps let her down more gently? "I do really appreciate-"
Umi didn't get the chance to finish. Hisano bolted from the room just as the door opened, passing a very bewildered Kotori. The grey haired girl watched the girl flee down the corridor for a moment before stepping into the office and closing the door behind her. The door closed with such a quiet click that Umi, who was busy cradling her head in her hands, didn't even realise she had company at first.
"Did something happen?"
Umi looked up at the voice and noticed the look of concern on Kotori's face. "No… well, that girl she… confessed her feelings for me."
Kotori folded her arms. "I see. And… you're not interested?"
"I tried to let her down gently but…"
"It mustn't have been very nice to be in that situation," Kotori replied, almost skipping over to take her accustomed seat by Umi's side. She reached for the nearest stack of papers. "I'm not surprised though that people feel that way about you. You're really amazing Umi-chan."
"I…" Umi didn't like how much she liked hearing those words from Kotori. "You shouldn't say things like that."
"But it's the truth."
"All the same. Anyway, why are you here so early?"
Kotori shrugged. "I guess I knew you'd be here so I thought I'd help out for a while."
Silence descended on the room after that and Kotori diligently set to work on the papers in front of her, twirling a pen like a baton between her fingers as she worked. Umi tried to focus on her own work but found her eyes constantly drawn to her friend. She tried to convince herself that her eye was caught by the motion of the pen but she knew that wasn't the real reason. Her eyes drifted frequently from Kotori's fingers, so dainty and pale, to her face. Umi had taken to watching her a lot recently; she knew that she shouldn't but she didn't seem able to stop herself.
She gripped so hard on her own pen that the flimsy plastic snapped in her hand. "Heavens," she muttered under her breath as she substituted it for a new one.
Kotori looked up at the sound of Umi's voice and smiled at her. Umi quickly looked away, afraid that her eyes would betray her thoughts. She tried to settle back into her work but couldn't. Kotori continued to twirl her pen and continued to be the prettiest person in the wor-
Umi slammed her new pen down on the desk. "Would you like something to drink?" she suddenly asked. "I'm thirsty. Are you? Thirsty that is?"
"I'm fine, but thank you for thinking about me."
If only she knew. "Right. I guess I'll go. I'll be back shortly."
"Take your time."
Umi hurriedly left the room. Her mouth felt as dry as though she'd been chewing on cotton wool. She could feel her heart beating against the confines of her rib cage as though it were straining to burst out. Ever since the day she'd found out what the fans were speculating about her and Kotori, it seemed she couldn't get the thought out of her head.
She couldn't help but wonder what it would be like if…
But it was wrong! Kotori was her friend and Umi made a mockery of that friendship every time she thought about her in those other ways. She stopped after turning into a side corridor and leaned heavily against the wall. She needed to talk to someone about this; if only the school had some sort of relationship guru…
The irony wasn't lost on her.
It was becoming more and more obvious how they felt about each other; the way they looked at each other in the clubroom or the way they interacted in practice. They'd taken to wandering off together as a pair recently and what they got up to was anyone's guess. Umi often tortured herself wondering.
It came as a surprise to most people just how close Kotori and Nico were becoming. And to her horror, Umi was seeing the same signs between them as she'd seen many times before elsewhere; shy smiles, averted eyes, and comments dripping with unspoken meaning. Kotori seemed to be even more buoyant than usual, and though Umi wanted to be happy for her, inside she was drowning in despair.
It was for the best, she told herself over and over again. It was for the best.
Having seen Kotori and Nico alone together in the clubroom one afternoon, heads close as they conspiratorially whispered to each other about new costume designs, Umi retreated unnoticed to the safety of the archery grounds. No-one was around; kyudo practice sessions didn't happen on Wednesday's unless there was a tournament coming up. Taking comfort in the relative peace of the place, she briefly considered just sitting down and taking in the silence, but she knew if she did that she would just end up thinking again. She never felt calmer than when she had a bow in her hand so Umi changed into a practice uniform and selected one of the school bows from the rack, her own bow having been left at home.
She let half a dozen arrows go in less than a minute. Not having taken the time to aim them properly, they landed erratically all over the target, but she felt better for having fired them. Another half dozen arrows followed them, slightly more considered but still shot without her accustomed level of care. When one of them landed in the gold by accident she perked up a little.
Placing the bow down she went to collect the arrows. When she came back, she swiftly realised she was no longer alone. A lone figure stood leaning against the far wall with crossed arms and an inscrutable expression.
"We need to talk."
"Maki-chan? What are you doing here?"
The first year stepped closer. Umi resisted the urge to take a step back. The girl's violet eyes radiated stubbornness and determination. "I'm here to return a favour to you."
"I… don't recall ever doing-"
"If it wasn't for you," Maki interrupted, "I wouldn't have Honoka and I'd probably still be destroying myself thinking that my feelings were unrequited. I owe you. And I understand what you're going through."
"…Do you? I'm afraid I don't follow."
Maki closed the distance until they were close enough to touch. When she spoke, her voice was softer than it had been before. "I… used to lie to myself too. All the time. I wasn't honest with my feelings. Sometimes I still have to catch myself from slipping back into the habit. Umi-chan… it's obvious that you're in love with-"
"I don't know what you're talking about."
Once again, Maki crossed her arms and her expression became stern. "You're suffering and it shows you know? Why can't you admit to yourself that you're in love?"
Umi tried to reach for her bow, but Maki grabbed it first and held it out of reach. Putting her arrows on the floor, Umi also crossed her arms and wondered what which would give first: the unstoppable force or the immovable object.
"Because I'm not. I don't know what you're talking about. So stop it."
"You can dish advice out but you can't take it, is that it? Come on Umi, it's obvious what you're feeling."
Umi didn't reply. She decided silence was her best ally at this point.
"Nico-chan hasn't confessed to Kotori yet," Maki said. The effect of those words was instant; Umi felt she'd been punched in the gut and she imagined it showed. "But she will. She told me as much. It's just a matter of time."
"I… I wish them every happiness."
Maki audibly groaned. "And I thought I was stubborn. Wake up Umi. This is your only chance to tell Kotori how you feel. You have to take this opportunity now or you'll regret it forever."
"I wish them every happiness," Umi repeated, only just managing to hold herself together.
"Fine, I give up," Maki all but shouted. She all but pushed the bow back to Umi's hands. "I hope you enjoy your self-inflicted misery."
Umi held herself in place long enough to make sure she was alone, but instantly crumpled to the floor once she was sure Maki was gone. She couldn't stop shaking and tears sprang unbidden to her eyes.
It's for the best, she told herself over and over again, it's for the best.
So why couldn't she stop crying?
Umi,
Did you read that letter in the pink envelope? It might help explain a few things if you do. I hope you understand.
The note had no name and was written in an unfamiliar hand. It had been posted anonymously in the student comments box so there was no way of telling who had sent it. Initially, the question it posed had thrown Umi and she had regarded the note with puzzlement. It took her a few minutes of wondering before she remembered the incident a few weeks back; when she'd opened her locker and a heap of letters had tumbled out. There had been a pink envelope then amongst the rest.
And it was still in her locker.
After everything that had happened that day with Fumiko, Hideko and Mika, she'd completely forgotten about the letters and hadn't given any thought to them since. Umi folded the note in her hand absent-mindedly until it was small enough to fit comfortably in the palm of her hand. Fortunately, she was alone. That seemed to be happening a lot these days. She made a mental note to take Honoka in hand later for neglecting her duties again.
But then that would be rather hypocritical of her; instead of continuing with her work, she kept thinking about the note and by extension the letter in her locker. Her curiosity had been aroused now, although she was relatively certain it would simply be a love letter from some girl who barely knew her; one who fancied herself in love with the 'enchanted ocean-coloured maiden' as one admirer had once called her. Chiding herself for her foolishness, Umi picked up her pen again and made a few notes on a piece of scrap paper before finding herself staring at the door and twirling her pen idly in her fingers.
It was a mannerism she'd started copying from Kotori; she'd once told Umi that something about the baton twirling rhythm helped her to think. It did nothing to keep Umi's mind on track. It simply reminded her of Kotori, which was enough to set off a chain of thought she couldn't control.
Sighing, Umi put the pen down on the table and rose from her seat. She would put her mind at rest by going to read this stupid letter and then she would return to work. And when she returned, she would affix a little note to the suggestion box to make it clear that it should not be used for sending personal messages.
The corridors were, as usual, deserted, most students having long since returned home. She moved through the corridors as quickly and as quietly as possible. Although she had every right to be wandering through the school, the purpose of her errand left her feeling like she was doing something against the rules. She soon reached her locker, having passed no-one along the way. For a moment, she simply stared at the locker door before shaking her head; she had nothing to be nervous about.
She soon found what she was looking for. Sure enough, the letters were exactly where she had left them weeks before in a neat little stack. It didn't take her long to single out the pink envelope; the rest she ignored. Now in possession of what she'd come for, Umi scurried off in the direction she'd come from, repressing the urge to simply open the letter and read it there in the corridor.
When she entered the student council room again, her eyes instantly found an amber pair looking back at her.
"K-Kotori, what are you doing here? I thought you'd gone home."
"What do you mean? Honoka-chan said you wanted to see…" Kotori's voice instantly cut off when she saw what Umi was carrying in her hands.
Unable to suppress her little squeak of surprise, Umi hurriedly hid the letter behind her back, even though the damage had already been done. She knew she shouldn't have been so brazen as to carry it so openly.
Kotori's smile slipped and she sat perfectly still. For a moment, they stared at each other, but then Kotori broke the silence. "It's ok, you can read it."
"I don't know what you-"
"Please read it."
Umi drew the envelope from behind her back. She noticed Kotori's eyes briefly flick to it before returning to her own. Without much further ado, Umi tore open the envelope and took out the single sheet of paper within. It was scented; it reminded Umi of blueberries.
Umi-chan,
There's something I've wanted to say to you for a very long time but I've never been able to get it off my chest. So I figured I'd try writing you a letter instead. So here goes…
I love you.
I don't want you to misunderstand so let me be clear. I love you romantically with the entirety of my heart. I don't expect you to return my feelings but I had to let you know.
And now you do.
I guess it's up to you what you what make of my feelings. I just hope that at the very least we can still be friends.
Eternally yours,
Kotori
The paper shook in Umi's hand. Her gaze flitted to Kotori then to the paper and then back again. She felt like she'd been hit by a bus.
Kotori smiled at her but the usual warmth was missing from her eyes. "So now you know."
And Umi wondered how she hadn't figured it out sooner. Kotori had been dropped heavy handed hint after heavy handed hint; the shoulder rub, the way she'd reacted when Umi had taken the news of what their fans said about them badly, some of the things she'd said when Umi apologised to her. All the looks and all the little things Kotori had said took on new meaning in the light of what Umi had just read.
She'd been so blinded by her feelings for Kotori and so distracted by burying them that she hadn't stopped for a single moment to wonder if perhaps they might be returned.
"Kotori, I'm so sorry." The fragile smile on Kotori's face instantly disappeared and her eyes began to fill with tears. Realising she'd made yet another stupid mistake, Umi stood and intercepted her just as she began to run out of the room. She held her in an embrace that was meant to be simultaneously comforting yet restraining. "Please don't go." Kotori stopped struggling. "I meant that I'm sorry for being such an idiot. And I'm so sorry again for those things I said in the clubroom. I didn't know. You must have thought that I…"
Kotori didn't seem to dare make eye contact again. "I thought that the idea of you and me was… disgusting to you."
"It's not!" Umi exclaimed. "It's really not. I'm so sorry."
"Then you made it clear you weren't interested when you came by my house that day. I… I've accepted it. You don't have to say anything."
Maki's words from the other day suddenly rang loud in her ears, as though the first year were right behind her saying them again: 'I… used to lie to myself too. All the time. I wasn't honest with my feelings.' Lying had done Maki no good, but honesty had bought her love and happiness.
It was time for Umi to be honest too.
"Kotori, the truth is that I… I… I've been struggling with my emotions for a while. With my feelings… for you."
Kotori looked up and met her gaze again. She looked lost and disbelieving, like she'd just realised she was in the middle of a dream. "Please don't. If you don't mean it, I-"
"I mean it! I didn't want to admit to myself that I could feel these feelings for anyone. I guess I didn't even notice they were there at first. But when I did, I kept trying to repress them because… because I didn't think you would ever return them. Because I thought I was profaning our friendship. I… I'm an idiot, aren't I?"
"It's not your fault," Kotori replied. "I wasn't honest with you either. I couldn't even tell you what I wanted to say face to face. I really wanted to, but every time I came close, I got too scared. I had to write you the letter to stop myself going insane… and when you said you'd get rid of it… well… I wanted to tell you so many times."
Umi became acutely aware of how close they were, bodies pressed in close and faces barely inches apart. "You could… tell me now."
"Alright." Kotori leaned in and kissed her on the lips. Umi's eyes widened in shock, although she really should have seen it coming. Once upon a time, this sort of contact would have made her faint, but she'd thought about this often over the last couple of weeks. She wanted this. When they broke apart, Kotori's eyes shone with tears again. "I love you Umi-chan."
Her instinct to lie momentarily flared up but Umi ignored it. She would not lie to herself or to the girl she loved anymore.
"I love you too."
Kotori's little squeak of surprise was cut off when Umi closed the distance between them and showed her the truth behind her words. Closing her eyes, Umi lost herself in the sensation. She felt tears on her face but whether they were Kotori's or her own was initially a mystery to her. She broke their kiss; Kotori was crying and it broke her heart.
"Kotori-"
"Happy tears," she choked out. "They're happy tears. I never thought I'd hear you say that."
"I love you Kotori," Umi repeated, eliciting a little giggle out of her friend… well, girlfriend she supposed was now the more accurate term. "I love you, I love you, I love you." With each utterance, she planted a light kiss on Kotori: on her forehead, on her cheek then on her lips again. "I'm so glad you sent that note."
A look of confusion crossed Kotori's face. "You mean the letter?"
"No, the note you sent in the student comment box."
"I didn't put a note in the comment box." Digging in her pocket, Umi extracted the note she'd read through earlier. Reading it through, Kotori handed it back. "I didn't write this."
"But you must have. Who else knew about the letter?"
"Honoka-chan knew," Kotori replied. "I kind of told her when my feelings were getting too much for me."
Umi looked at the note again. "Now that you mention it, the handwriting looks very much like Honoka's. I'm surprised the untidiness of it didn't alert me straight away."
"I… I don't want to talk about Honoka right now."
"N-no, neither do I. But there is something I wanted to ask you."
Kotori drew her closer and rested her head on Umi's shoulder. Umi decided she liked that very much. "Go ahead," Kotori murmured against her.
"Well… I was just wondering what has happening between you and Nico-chan."
"Nothing, why?"
"It's just… I thought you two… you know…"
"You're silly Umi-chan… but I guess I kind of understand what you mean. I guess we became so close recently because we were both in the same situation." When Umi didn't respond, Kotori clarified. "We both had a one sided love for someone."
"But Maki said she was going to confess to you."
"I think maybe Honoka-chan and Maki-chan have been trying to push us together."
"Oh… I see. So who does Nico-"
Kotori took her head from Umi's shoulder and met her gaze. Her eyes were piercing; there wasn't a sight more beautiful in the entire world. "I don't know. She wouldn't tell me. But… I kind of don't want to talk about Nico right now either. In fact, I don't want to talk about anyone else right now. But maybe you can help me with something. Since you're so good at giving relationship advice, I was wondering if you could tell me the best way of showing my love to someone."
Kotori wore a devious little smile. Umi matched it. "The best way is to kiss them."
It was the best advice she ever gave.
A/N: When I first conceived this story idea, I thought it would be around 3,000-5,000 words long. And then it grew… and grew… and grew some more. I make no apologies for the length though. I also make no apologies for submitting this as an oneshot rather than a multi-chapter. To me, the story flows much better this way. However reader, I do appreciate your effort for making it this far.
This is probably the gayest thing I've ever written. I would have liked to resolve the who-Nico's-in-love-with bit but the story was already running to length as it was. I may write a follow up eventually for Nico but that's very much in the 'we'll see' category.
I think that's it. Thanks for reading and once again, happy birthday Umi-chan!