Basically this fic is one that has been sitting in my folder for a long time - or at least the first chapter has. The rest of the story didn't come to me until after the stress of my assignments was off and I was free to write leisurely again. Obviously this ignores Santa and the Christmas special, but that's just for fun of course because I did love the Christmas ep. Anyway, yeah, I'll try roll out chapters quick and hope to finish it by the end of the Easter holidays. Yes, I hope you enjoy the story and feel free to review if you wish :)

CHAPTER ONE

When had their relationship become so complicated?

It was a thought that had plagued the Doctors mind ever since he lied and said goodbye to Clara four months ago. He found himself so distracted by this, that he could do little else. Even the equations on his chalk boards remained woefully unfinished – he's instead began to scribble down theories of his deteriorating friendship with Clara. And he kept coming to the same question.

Was it his fault?

He stood in the open doorway of the TARDIS and stared down at earth. He'd been in orbit of the planet for months now – something wouldn't allow him to leave. Probably the feeling that something was unfinished here. Maybe it was just the wishing hearts of an old selfish man. He sighed then and, leaving the door open so he could still see out, walked back to his chalk boards to glare at his scrawls.

Perhaps it was his fault. His other faces had done a better job establishing trust with his companions than this one had. What had he done? He had forgotten how to fly the TARDIS, crashed them and then gotten them eaten by a dinosaur before Clara had gotten them to Victorian London. Then what had he done? Run away from her, admittedly for some reason his confused mind thought that a good idea, called her a needy egotistical game player (which she could be. Sometimes) and then he let her think he had abandoned her to cannibalistic robots?

Even though he had been there the entire time, even though she had – as usual – shown him her loyalty, her trust, he realised now it might have been cruel of him to test her in such a way. But his mind had still been confused, addled.

And yet apart of him felt their relationship had been fine – not the same way it had been with chin boy but they were both still trying to get used to the new personality that came with this face – until he had come to her school. He admitted to the darkest most selfish part of his mind he hadn't at all been happy she had a 'boyfriend' anyway. But it didn't seem right to tell her that. He knew how that conversation would go – she would point out his first truly coherent words to her 'I'm not your boyfriend Clara'. And he was right, he wasn't. Chin boy had thought perhaps there was something between them, but he'd been too afraid of losing anyone else to even truly consider the notion. After regenerating he'd found himself feeling far more… possessive of Clara. He hid it well of course. This new face was good at hiding things, especially emotions. But that didn't mean he wanted her to find someone else… she was his Clara. They were bound together. She was a constant in his life, though he hadn't realised it at first, and to him that made her more to him and himself more to her than a simple word like 'boyfriend' could describe. Maybe he should have made that clearer.

Still after Danny Pink had found out about their adventures, he had made those comments that boiled his blood and planted seeds of doubt in Clara's mind… Danny Pink had made the comments that only his mind had made before, that he pushed too hard and too fast, that he lit the fires and sent his companions, his friends, to their deaths, that he ruined their lives. The words had made him angry – and they'd made Clara doubt. The Doctor never asked his friends to do something he didn't think them capable of doing, and he'd never abandon them, but after Danny's words Clara began to question him more – which in retrospect might have actually been good, because it helped her learn – but in situations where a seconds hesitation could be fatal it really wasn't needed. In the past she had been more content to ask the questions after the fact rather than during. It was a… infuriating development.

Maybe it was just a natural side effect of Clara's increased independence and confidence. When they met, or at least when she met his other face and before she'd even jumped into his time stream, her lack of self-confidence had been carefully hidden behind her wit and sarcasm. During their travels, like all his companions, she had grown – actually Clara had flourished, she had grown brighter than most under his direction – and maybe that was the problem. He had found fairly early on that his new personality had quite a… controlling streak. Maybe it was her new independence as well as the newer tendency to go against him that was the problem – admittedly her control freak tendency had just grown with him around, her control freak verses his was always going to be a bad clash. Maybe he should have made her understand this earlier too.

Then again, maybe it was the sudden inability to be honest with each other. He didn't know why that happened – but he had a feeling it was something to do with this new face and new personality. His other face, even he admitted, had been far more approachable far more open to anything that could bring Clara (or anyone else) closer to him to be honest. This new face was far more unwilling, closed off… he pushed her away, he pushed everyone away, but was unwilling to allow her to get a firmer grip on his two hearts than she already had. Maybe that was why she felt she couldn't tell him anything anymore. It was certainly why he refrained from telling her things.

But he wanted to tell her things. He wanted to go back and tell her everything. But she was happy. Well… she had said she was happy, but there was no happiness in her big eyes only deep sadness. But she said she was happy, she said she was with Danny and the Doctor wasn't going to cause an argument during their goodbye by saying she was lying – and he didn't even know if she was for sure. He just suspected things weren't quite as… perfect as she made them sound. He'd seen the bracelet so obviously Danny had discovered the loop hole back to life with Clara. And he'd seen Clara doing that thing, the face she pulled when she had to steel herself to do something – so he did it for her. He gave her an out. He told her a lie. He told her he found his home, Gallifrey. He'd thought she'd look happy, and she did, but her eyes had remained sad and her hug had been tighter than usual… then again, he'd been just as odd about their goodbye. His head hurt every time he tried to puzzle all this out, and his hearts ached.

The TARDIS doors slammed shut suddenly, and the centre column began to move as the engines began to echo around the ship. The Doctor stumbled slightly as the ship rocked, she let out an irritated mechanical groan, like she was trying to tell him off for something. He lurched to the console, trying to flick some switches and press some buttons, but the TARDIS corrected them after he'd pressed them. Wherever they were going, she was determined. When they finally landed, it was with a kind of finality that told the Doctor his time machine wasn't going to move again until he'd seen whatever it was she'd brought him here to see. "What are you doing old girl?" he asked as he found his steady feet again and leaned against the console.

Her only reply was to move a lever, the break, into position with a click.

With a sigh the Doctor brushed at his clothes to beat the chalk dust from himself before he exited the TARDIS. The light outside was harsh on his eyes, oddly bright besides the overcast cloudy weather still rather dark but getting light with the rising sun. Then again anything was bright when you'd spent all that time orbiting in space. When his eyes adjusted, far quicker than any humans would have he might add, he was swift to realise that he was back in London. A park, early morning, and sometime in autumn. A small wind blew multi-coloured leaves past his feet, he followed them with his eyes as the breeze was disrupted by a passing car – drawing his eyes to a young woman with long brown hair hanging in curtains and hiding her face, she was holding a leaf, one that looked far older than the ones on the ground around her feet.

The Doctor frowned because for one thing, he knew that leaf. It saved his life once. Because the girl holding it scarified it to an emotion-eating sun. He looked back at the TARDIS, he swore he felt his blue box urging him towards her. Which was odd, because if he thought his ship would take him to Clara he would have assumed it would be the Clara he left behind – not this younger version of her. Still, he shrugged to himself, he was curious why his young Clara was out alone in the near darkness obviously upset.

He approached quietly, so she jumped when he said quite simply "I hear it's dangerous around here for a young woman – should you be out while it's still dark?"

Clara's young face wore no make-up, but other than that he could hardly see a difference in her. Maybe a different fashion sense and hair style, but her eyes where still as wide, but that was okay because they sat well on her round face and matched her funny nose. She sniffed and frowned at him, slipping the leaf back into the book on her lap. He recognised that book too – in fact it was still on the TARDIS, she'd forgotten to remove it when she left. "Probably not, what do you care anyway?" her voice had some bite in it, and she glared at him warily.

The Doctor struggled to remind himself that this Clara hadn't met him before. "I'd just hate to hear you'd gotten hurt." He rubbed the back of his head somewhat awkwardly. "You're going to be someone very important someday – I just know it."

She looked at him like he was crazy – he grinned and sat on the other end of the bench. "Trust me" he explained and waved a hand at himself "I mean look at me, I've lived a long time you can tell. I've never met anyone who wasn't important."

She grinned then – okay so jokes about his age where a good thing – and then she looked away briefly, giving him only a side glance before she said "Maybe you could stay here until its light and make sure I don't get hurt then, if you think I'm so important?"

He made a show of get himself comfy – impossible on these wooden benches – and sighed. "Okay then. So why are you out here?"

"Oh no – names first. Mines… Oswald. I'm not giving you my first name – you could be a freak or something."

"I'm the Doctor."

"Is that your title or your name?"

"I'm getting questioned by the girl who won't give me her first name because she thinks I could be a freak? Maybe I think you could be a freak." He retorted.

She laughed, he found it strange how her laugh could sound different – lighter, almost as if that itself was young too.

"How old are you?" he found himself asking.

She raised an eyebrow. "It's rude to ask a girl her age." She said "but I'm nineteen."

"You really shouldn't be out her alone. You're just a kid."

She looked offended, though he was partially sure it was mock offended because her eyes looked like they were laughing. "Just a kid!" she cried "I'll have you know I turn twenty soon enough, and that technically I was legally an adult last year. How old are you anyway, two thousand?"

"Yes"

She laughed thinking he was joking. Well nineteen… she wasn't due to meet him again, at least his last face anyway, for another… what eight years? She'd find out soon enough.

"So miss-nineteen-year-old-and-almost-twenty-but-most-certaintly-an-adul-Oswald, why are you out here?"

Clara sighed, considering him, she looked away as she finally said "It's my mum's death anniversary, and my dad's going on a date… it just feels wrong."

The Doctor shuffled, considering her. "Are you mad at him for moving on?"

Clara heaved a large sigh. "No… I mean it's been six years but… it still feels wrong. I know he loved her, I know he won't forget her, but I still feel like…"

"Like he's replacing her?"

"Yeah."

"He's not."

"How do you know?"

"I'm two thousand remember? I've lost people before… you move on but you never forget them." He rubbed his neck awkwardly again.

Young Clara considered him silently before she looked up at the sunrise again. She eventually said "I hate his girlfriend though, Linda."

He snorted "I know."

"What?"

He coughed, realising his slip up. "Sorry, I mean it's the whole step mum thing isn't it? She's always an evil witch or something in stories."

She chuckled. "True, Linda could give even snow white's step mother a run for her money."

He hissed comically "Now that means she must be bad – wasn't snow white's step mother the one who tried to kill her with an apple?"

"Yeah."

"Why an apple?"

"What?"

"Why an apple? I hate apples."

"Well you know what they say…" she gave him a sly look.

"What?" he frowned.

"An apple a day keep's the Doctor away…" she chuckled at his dark look.

"Well here's some life advice for you Oswald – try to stay away from apples."

She grinned "Okay – whenever I consider an apple I'll remember the words of wisdom from a stranger I met on a park bench."

He laughed "I am a stranger aren't I?" he mused, knowing by this point in her life she'd met his other face twice, briefly.

The sky was pink and blue now, though clouds still made it obvious it was going to be a gloomy day, and the world around them was beginning to wake up. More cars where filling the road, and people were walking along the streets – occasionally some were looking at the young woman and older man laughing on the park bench. Clara sighed. "Well… I'd better get home before dad gets home from Linda's and finds out I've been gone all night…" she stood.

"You were out here alone all night?" he sounded horrified.

"I do that sometimes, when I'm not feeling okay." She shrugged "there's no one around at night, it's like having the world to yourself."

"Yes there's no one around at night, so no one to help you if you get into trouble." He glared.

"Don't start acting like my dad now, I thought you were cool."

He just crossed his arms over his chest and gave her a stern look. "I suppose I could ask you not to do it again, but I get the strong feeling you won't listen…"

She laughed, but he noticed she was looking at him funny. "What are you doing out here so early then, if you think it's so dangerous?"

He frowned then, a little confused as to why he was out there himself. He couldn't tell her it was because his space ship had dropped him off there to specifically talk to her.

"Because… because I lost my friend recently, we stopped talking, and I miss her and I was tired of thinking about it…"

Clara frowned. "Why don't you just get back in contact is you miss her so much?"

He sighed. "I'm not sure she wants to see me – she thinks I went back to … uh… Scotland, and she's happy with her boyfriend anyway… I should just leave them to do their young couple stuff, I don't belong there anymore…"

"Bollocks"

"Language!"

"Sorry – it's just bollocks. You're scared she's happy without you. Suck it up and go find her – what if she's not happy? What if she misses you? I mean if it was me no amount of having a boyfriend would make me want to lose contact with a friend."

He frowned, considering that. "Okay. Your right – I should get in contact. She's a lot like you anyway."

"I'm so going to take that as a compliment. I should head home now…"

"Where do you live?"

"Just that house up the road, don't worry I'll be safe." She teased.

"Alright. See you later Oswald."

"Why, you local?" she asked as she walked away looking over her shoulder.

"No, but I might see you in the future." He got up off the bench too. "Stay safe."

"I will, you keep safe too."

The Doctor watched her walk up the street, just a little concerned for her welfare, until she reached the house – he watched her climb up the tree at the side of her house and into one of the second story windows. He'd never considered Clara to be such a sneaky teenager. It made him laugh considering the girl he knew always acted innocent. When he entered the TARDIS again he could feel her watching him, waiting. He stroked the metal of the console affectionately. "Why is it that when I need advice about Clara Oswald, I always end up getting it from Clara Oswald?" he asked out loud, remembering when he had first been looking for her and got advice from a child on a swing that had turned out to be her in the first place. He smiled though, feeling like it was the first time in months, and kissed the metal console affectionately before he entered coordinates into the TARDIS. "Thank you old girl, still looking out for me…" he placed a hand on her centre column as she hummed affectionately – he slammed a lever and the engines started, taking him back to his Clara.