A/N: Yo! It's been a while. I really didn't mean to take so long. But, well, school ended and then I was sooo tired I just wanted to be a couch potato. Okay, this chapter here's quite dramatic. I know I could've made it less so but, let's be honest, I love drama! I love dramatic effects. I cry at dramatic scenes. And my friends tend to tease me about it… Anyway! I'm gonna make you, my readers, read some drama here (like this fic isn't dramatic enough) but I can predict the next chapter will be a fluffy one. Yes, I want to write fluff and I think we've reached the end of most drama!

…

Okay, I lied. The next chappy will be fluffy BUT I will not stop writing angst. Not just yet. Since there's still Haru and other things. :D Haha, so much fun~ Enjoy this awkward piece of work of mine and leave a review, mate. Love you all who reviewed, favorited and followed 3 (Ps. my Yamamoto's so OOC… and let's not talk about Tsuna, okay?)

Chapter 4

Takeshi looked down to the smaller boy, head tilted to his left. Tsuna was stuttering something incoherent at the moment and smiling while rubbing the back of his head. He looked really awkward.

"So," Takeshi began. Haru by his side moved impatiently. Takeshi stopped himself just in time before he would glare at the girl. "Do you want to come to eat lunch with us. We're going to go to eat in the backyard. It'll be fun!" He flashed a smile at the other boy to hide his annoyance at Haru and to reassure the brunet it was okay to say yes. Actually, he wanted him to say yes.

"Umm," Tsuna started, glancing worriedly at Haru. "I wonder…" his voice faded.

"You wonder what?"

Suddenly Tsuna looked startled and shook his head. "Nothing! I wonder nothing! Thank you for invitation but I think… I think my friend wants to eat with me today."

Friend? Takeshi hadn't heard of any friend. He hid his curiosity and disappointment when he said with an airy voice, "That's cool then! If you change your mind you know where to find us."

Takeshi saw how Haru smiled too, though it looked a little forceful. "Yes, you're welcome to come with us, Sawada-san."

After that incident when Haru had called Tsuna Dame-Tsuna, Takeshi had talked to her, maybe even been angry and hurt. What he remembered from that time was that he'd scolded the girl who had looked a little frightened when he'd stopped his rant. Later he had regretted the way he'd said thing. Haru was still a girl and very emotional. He knew she regretted blurting out the mocking nickname but the way the girl was moving now revealed the anxiety inside her. She tried but still didn't seem to like Tsuna much. Takeshi wondered why and that attitude was what made him little annoyed yet worried. If they couldn't get along then…

Tsuna shook his head so that his long bangs moved from side to side. "I'm okay. Thanks."

Takeshi and Haru were about to move away when something reached the tall boy's ears. "Even when I'm such a loser…"

"What was it?"

Takeshi turned around and stared the back of Tsuna's head. The boy didn't turn to him right away but when he did, he was smiling once again. "What was what?" he asked, blinking his large eyes. Haru had stopped too, looking confusedly from Takeshi to Tsuna.

"Hahi, what are you two talking about?"

Takeshi didn't let the brown eyes go for a while. He tried to look for something, maybe the darkness or maybe the lie. He didn't find either. Tsuna's eyes were unreadable. He let it go, waved his goodbye and left. Haru followed him, asking what was wrong with him and what was going on. He didn't know either.

Just now he had had a weird feeling, like he'd heard Tsuna's voice speak yet it hadn't been his. It'd been heavy and old. Strained. Then the image of a boy sitting on the edge of the rooftop came to his mind and something churned his stomach. He put a hand on it and tried to tell himself he was imagining thing. Simply over-reacting.

But what if he wasn't and the scenery from yesterday was true.

He'd noticed that Tsuna disappeared every lunch hour and after school very quickly. What he was doing, he didn't know. But he felt that he and Tsuna were similar in many ways and not all of them were positive.

Then he stopped walking all together when he realized he couldn't see or hear anything around him. He forced the thought of the brown haired boy out of his mind and looked at his girlfriend who by now looked ready to call the ambulance.

"What's wrong, Takeshi-san? You look so pale!"

He was pale? Worry calved his insides. He had to check the boy out now.

"Sorry, Haru, can you eat with Kyoko today? I need to check something."

"Hahi? What is— Where are you going?"

"See you later!"

He ran down the same halls he'd just walked. He reached the spot they've left Tsuna just minutes before and the brunet wasn't there. Takeshi wasn't surprised but he didn't stop to think about it even for a second. His mind was only in one place and he hoped he was wrong. But what if he wasn't? What if he found something terrifying? His heart beat harder and breath stuck inside his throat even though he had an athlete's shape. He didn't get out of breath.

Now he did but it was mostly because of the image inside his head.

He was in the stairs when he caught a sight of an unruly hair and he almost fell to his knees like the other day, back when he'd cried because of numbing relief. The moment blurred in his mind and he felt like he wasn't even there, looking at Tsuna's worried, large eyes and laughing out loud. Was he really laughing? Looked like it, Tsuna looked so worried. He'd made Tsuna worried once again when it should have been other way around. Takeshi really failed as a friend, didn't he?

Takeshi held the brunet's shoulders in a sturdy grip, afraid to let go. It felt like if he did, the boy would be once again sitting on the railing, swinging his legs back and forth like he wasn't afraid of falling. He held him, wanted to hold him closer but fought back the urge. Instead, he moved his hands more tenderly to Tsuna's soft cheeks like trying to find any traces of… something. Tsuna hadn't winced even under his rough hands but now he looked like he was ready to catch Takeshi if he fell. The black haired boy shook his head a little. Did he really look so bad? Maybe he did. He was just so relieved, once again, that he'd found Tsuna before anything happened.

If anything even happened.

"Takeshi-kun? A-Are you okay?" Worry shone in the shorter teen's eyes, soft hands took Takeshi's into a gentle hold. It made Takeshi feel warm inside, forcing a smile bloom out. Tsuna was there in front of him, he'd been in time. If there even was anything to be worried about. The smile fell, as well as Tsuna's who'd answered to his smile, and dark thoughts filled his head again.

"T-Takeshi-kun?"

He had to get a hold of himself. He closed his eyes briefly, trying to concentrate on breathing. Takeshi's dad had taught him to concentrate on something if he was about to panic, or get angry or anything that included strong, negative emotions. So he did as he was told just after his mother's death and found his smile again. It'd always saved him, it made others feel better. So he smiled because it wasn't him who had something hard going on in his life. Well, if one didn't count how he'd felt like he wasn't happy. Or how he wanted things that were simply stupid dreams.

They didn't really count.

So he let go of Tsuna, regretting the action a little after losing the warmth that had made it all so much easier. Instead he smiled at the boy and said, "Everything's okay. Just wanted to spend a little time with you." Then he laughed good-naturedly. "So does your friend get mad if I join you guys?"

At this Tsuna turned beat red and shifted his gaze nervously towards the door that led to the rooftop. Takeshi waited patiently, smiling encouragingly. "U-Um… I-I might have l-lied… about t-that… just now…" Tsuna's voice faded away.

"Eh? No friend then?"

"No friend."

Takeshi wasn't sure if he was at least a little bit hurt that the brunet had lied to him earlier or if he was relieved that the boy trusted him enough to admit it. And not only that, he also felt happy there was no one else and he'd get Tsuna all to himself. It made Takeshi feel disgusted with himself because how could he think like that. Tsuna was his friend and he knew very well how the shy teen was lonely when Takeshi wasn't there. He knew he didn't have many other friends, if any at all since everyone seemed to like to bully him more. It was also one thing that made Takeshi furious. But he let the feeling go for now. He also tried to forget how happy he was he'd have his best friend only for himself because he wanted to concentrate on Tsuna fully. Especially Tsuna's feelings and if what he'd seen earlier was true.

"Okay then. Let's go to eat then, ne?"

Silence surrounded them when Takeshi tried to find a good spot for them to have a picnic and Tsuna let his gaze wander around too. Takeshi almost failed to see what the boy was actually looking at but when he peeked sneakily at him he saw something that made his heart almost stop. Tsuna was looking at the fence lingeringly. Or rather, he was looking at what was behind it.

And then Takeshi had got enough. He was curious, worried and definitely afraid. He had to ask. He wasn't known as one of the most social and honest students of school for nothing, after all. He could hold himself to some point but when he reached the limit he didn't think what he let out of his mouth. And now, he wanted the truth and a peace to his mind.

"Tsuna." The smaller teen turned to him quickly, looking like he'd been caught doing something forbidden. Maybe that was true since this time Takeshi's eyes didn't fail him. He knew what he saw or rather what Tsuna saw. "Did you sit behind that security railing couple of days ago?"

Tsuna jumped a little, avoiding Takeshi's gaze once again and it frustrated the teen to no end. Though, he knew they were talking about sensitive issues and he knew better than many how hard it would be to admit something like that. But actually Takeshi didn't even need those words said aloud because he already knew. Tsuna was like an open book, easy to read and now Takeshi definitely knew his eyes hadn't made mistakes.

He didn't know how to react to that. He just didn't.

A small sigh left the brunet's lips, his eyes still didn't meet Takeshi's. The wind ruffled the brown locks, making them do wild dance. Then he said something that almost froze Takeshi's ability to think calmly.

"Can we sit today there too?"

Silence. "W-what?" Tsuna turned to him. His usually shy eyes were now stern, determined. And that was what made Takeshi nod even before thinking or getting the answer.

He watched silently, mind both racing and freezing, when Tsuna climbed over the fence and sat down very carefully. He wanted to laugh, wave the thing away as a good joke or a funny thing but how could he. This all fought back against his usual attitude so hard he didn't know if he should be like he usually was.

He didn't feel like doing that.

When Tsuna looked back at him all seated Takeshi noticed how he'd tensed his body in order to be ready to catch the brunet if he fell. He let himself relax and step towards the edge that promised a painful fall. The end. Death.

He hesitated for a while, hand lingering on the fence. Last time he'd climbed over it was back then. It had been a different railing, of course, but the idea was same. Then he stopped to wonder what he was afraid of. Not falling, no. He knew he could balance himself well enough so he wouldn't fall. And he didn't grave for jumping either. He didn't want to leave Tsuna on the other side alone either, because he was at least a little afraid for him.

So what was it? His past? He laughed dryly inwardly, told himself to stop being an idiot and finally move on. His friend needed him and he was the only one able to help. So he stepped on one hole in the fence and hauled himself over it. The next thing he knew was that he was sitting next to the brunet. The fall, the hard ground looked back at them down below. The sky laughed at them over their heads. If they fell, it wouldn't help them at all.

For a while they ate in a comfortable silence. Or was it tense. It was at least a little but not because of the two occupants but because of the rush of excitement a high place caused. It was like Takeshi's blood was full of adrenalin, mind jumping back and forth between Tsuna and the past. Takeshi closed his eyes and let the wind stroke his face. He smiled.

"Ne, Takeshi-kun." Takeshi's thoughts stopped like a wall had come between them. He looked at the brunet who was gazing up at the sky. His brown eyes were, though, what caught Takeshi's attention. They were somewhere far away and so sad. So lonely. Like Takeshi wasn't even there with him and he was alone with the sky.

"I wonder how it feels."

Takeshi jumped without wanting. He kept his eyes warily on the teen, observing his faraway, yearning eyes. He swallowed, afraid to ask what he meant. He had an idea and he didn't want it to be true. Actually, he was more afraid of the answer than the question itself. But then he heard his own voice speaking, asking quietly, "Falling?"

Tsuna closed his eyes. "No, flying."

"If you jumped, wouldn't you just fall?"

The brunet chuckled. "Maybe." And at that moment he looked so beautiful, Sun shining against his pale skin, leaving golden hint behind. Then Tsuna said something with an almost audible voice, "Maybe that's one way to be free."

"No, it isn't."

Tsuna looked taken aback, not really expecting Takeshi to hear what he'd said. For a while the black haired teen felt sadness. Had anyone ever really heard Tsuna, actually listened to him if the boy found it surprising when someone heard his small whisper? His small plea for help. He pushed the thought away though, he had to say something to the boy who was looking at him wide-eyed and full of something akin to hope.

"You wouldn't be free, you'd be dead," his voice was stern, leaving no room to complaints. He had a lot to say and he wanted Tsuna to listen. He understood what Tsuna meant since once he'd thought like that too. But Tsuna was wrong. Even though he understood, he also understood this wasn't a right way to search for freedom. He didn't know, couldn't understand what kind of life Tsuna had led this far but he'd find out. Tsuna didn't need jumping to find his peaceful land. Takeshi would be the one to set Tsuna free.

And so he explained and Tsuna listened.

"You would be dead. You would be a body with broken bones and twisted limps. There would be blood under you and your skull would be cracked open. You would be dead."

Tsuna's eyes were large, full of emotions and Takeshi couldn't keep up with all of them. He wanted Tsuna to understand. "You are too young to die and be free. You still have a whole life to live, so much to experience, so many people to meet and love. You will only be free through death when you're old and seen it all. Then you'll find eternal peace. But if you were to die now, you'd die without even trying to find a freedom."

Tsuna was quiet and staring at him. His eyes were full of emotions, so many emotions Takeshi had hard time to understand them all. But even if it was like that he was happy to have those brown eyes full of something other than emptiness and unreadable dullness. But the stare still made Takeshi feel self-conscious so he shifted a little and scrapped his cheek with a finger.

"I understand," Tsuna said finally, smiling sadly. Takeshi smiled back feeling only relief because he'd been heard and understood. Takeshi realized that this was the first time he'd even talked about it to anyone and while his only purpose had been to help Tsuna, he'd helped himself in the process. It felt like something that had been suffocating him slowly for past years was finally lifted from his chest and gone for good. He felt… free. Ironically, yes. He'd found the freedom.

So now he was ready to give it to Tsuna too.

"Sometimes I just dream of flying away, starting anew somewhere where no one knows me. You know, be myself. Be free of everything." Tsuna looked up to the sky once again and laughed. "I'd have actual friends."

"I'm your friend."

Tsuna's head whipped back to him faster than lightning. Takeshi smiled at him brightly, putting his heart into every word. "I'll be there for you whenever you need someone. I'm your friend."

Tsuna's lips trembled like he was about to cry. Then the boy got it under control and leaned forward, locking Takeshi into a tight hug. The warmth came back to the baseball player and the world felt right again. He wrapped his arms around small shoulders. "Let's find that freedom together, ne?"

Tsuna sniffled against his neck and Takeshi petted his head more. After a while of sniffling and hard gripping of Takeshi's vest, he heard a soft voice say, "Okay."