Three Wishes

With Mirajane, there were a lot of rules. And Laxus, who considered himself the most innocent party of their relationship (ha), got inundated with a large number of them all at once.

For one, there were no shoes in her house. Or any messy behavior in general. Get mud in the house? You clean it. If Mira has to clean it, you're gonna be in trouble. Laxus struggled with this one a lot, but Elfman assured him it was just a guy thing; he couldn't count the number of times he'd been scolded for the same thing.

Another was that Laxus always had to walk her home after dates. Even when they wouldn't be staying the night together. Oh, and if he planned on doing something with his night that didn't involve her, that was fine. It just had better be run by her first.

Or else.

There were a lot of gulping moments in the early days of their relationship.

But, eventually, the Thunder God got used to all the demon's quirks. He knew to come to her the second he got home from a job, usually bearing a gift. And having to cut mow the lawn at her house in the spring and summer. Help Elfman rake the leaves in the fall. Shovel snow in the winter. Take out the trash. Not be late to dinners.

All in all, when he looked back on it, most of her rules were actually pretty good. Sort of. At the very least, they were making him more responsible and if he ever truly did plan on taking over the guildhall from the old man, that was something he needed some schooling in.

Man, if Mira did nothing else for him, it was that. She made him accountable. For everything. He'd never had a woman that he took so seriously before, or had a relationship that meant so much to him.

Not that there weren't moments when he honestly was prepared to walk away. Even from the guild if it meant getting away from her. She was just so…aggravating. And that was what people didn't get. 'cause all they saw with the Mira up at the bar who was so ditzy and cute and fuckable.

Which, by the way, she was all of those things.

But that wasn't the point!

Because she was other things too. She nagged the hell out of him most of the time. And when she wasn't doing that, she was usually weeping about something. Man, the woman could cry. And yell. And scold. Or just downright ignore him, refusing to say anything to him as she tried to force the silent treatment upon him.

Which, with Mirajane, usually didn't last more than a day, but hey. It was annoying.

The top most of Mira's rules though should have been pretty simple. One would think.

Instead, at times, it proved to be the most complex.

He had to get along with her siblings.

And, yeah, Lisanna was pretty cool and Elfman was…Elfman, but it shouldn't have been that hard, right?

Wrong.

It was horrible.

There were pretty easy periods of time with him and Lisanna though, where they both got along and he even let her hangout with the Thunder Legion and him occasionally.

Elfman though…

Sigh.

They were just so…different. Elfman was annoying, boisterous and talked way too much about being a man, where as Laxus was cool, suave, calculating, and no talk at all. Just all man. No words needed.

And yes, Laxus did realize that his calculations of the man were extremely biased. He just didn't care.

All of that came to a head though when Laxus asked Mirajane to marry him.

Apparently, Elfman was not okay with that. At all.

"Mira," Laxus groaned one night as they laid in bed with one another. "Why is it my job to-"

"It's not just your job, Laxus. It's both of your jobs," she said, laying with her back to him. "You're going to be brothers now, when we get married, and-"

"No, we're not."

"Yes," she said. "You are. And when we have kids, they're going to love their uncle. I know that they will."

"Jury's out on my side."

"Laxus-"

"Mira, what do you want me to do?" He stared at her back with a slight frown. "Seriously. We don't hate each other. Not really. Isn't that enough? I feel like that's enough."

"Well, it's not."

"Mir-"

"I'm not saying that you have to, like, be best friends with him or anything."

"Good."

"But," Mira went on. "I want you guys to try harder. Please? It would really make me happy."

With a sigh, Laxus reached over to pat her on the head. "Alright, demon. Just…just give me a day or two, huh?"

"I don't want a quick fix with this, Lax. I want-"

"I know," he sighed. "But it'll be a start."

Laxus spent the whole next day, trying to come up with something he could do to get Elfman and him to have a better relationship. He thought of all the things they could possibly bond over. But the only thing that they had in common was Mirajane and, well, gross. They both had knew Mira in very different lights and Laxus was sure Elfman didn't need the other man's brought to his attention.

Hmmm.

It was Freed though that gave him the idea he finally settled on.

"You could just ask him," Freed said.

"Ask him?"

"Yeah." Bickslow, who was with them at the table in the guildhall, was quick to butt in. "You know, ask him the one thing that you can do for him. Like…like…the one wish you can grant him."

"Can grant him," his dolls bellowed.

"Grant him a wish?" Laxus frowned. "That sounds stupid."

Freed shrugged. "I wouldn't have phrased it that way, but think about it, Laxus. What better way for you to give him the olive branch than to do one thing for him? It wouldn't hurt to at least hear what it is that you would need to do for the two of you to become comrades, would it?"

He mulled it over the rest of the day. Then the next morning, after Mira had already left for work, he went down to the kitchen to see if she'd made him breakfast before leaving.

Negative.

But Lisanna was up and making her own food.

"Make me some too," he said, nodding over at the pancakes she was making. "Five."

"You could say please."

"Please," he told her, all deadpan and stuff. It just made Lisanna giggle.

Elfman woke up about the time that they were sitting down to eat. He greeted Lisanna, but completely ignored Laxus.

Which he wasn't surprised by. They'd been in a heated battle of wits since Mira had announced their engagement.

And because they both had a limited amount of wits to begin with, their battle had quickly shifted into a pledge of silence between the two, which worked for Laxus.

Now he was going to have to break it. Lose. Sigh. Mira was lucky that he loved her.

Then again, considering it took him years to come to that conclusion, he figured he owed her one.

"Hey," he grunted out as Elfman went about making his own breakfast, his gruff tone making even Lisanna stare at him. "Mira wants us to get along. So-"

"Not interested."

"Really?" Laxus couldn't help the snide tone that came into his voice then. "You can't do one little thing for your sister? Don't sound too manly to me."

Growling. Then, "I'm way more off a man than you! I don't care what you say! You mean absolutely nothing to me anyhow! You're just using Mira and you're-"

"And I'm making an offerin' here, if you'd can it."

That interested Lisanna, who sat up. "An offering? Like you're going to pay him?"

"No," Laxus said with a frown. He definitely drew his line at paying the freak. "Absolutely not."

"Then-"

"I'm giving you a one in a lifetime opportunity here," Laxus said simply, glaring over at the other man. "You're going to get one favor from me."

"Favor?" Elfman grumbled.

"Yeah. You know, like I'll do somethin' for you," Laxus said with a shrug of his shoulder. "Whatever you want."

"Like a wish?" Lisanna asked.

What the hell was up with people and wishes? Gah.

"Fine," he grumbled. "Call it that if you want. But you only get the chance to take me up on it today, Elfman. And afterwards, you're not allowed to tell Mira about how I'm a mistake or that I'm a horrible person."

"Even though you are."

"Even though," he agreed through gritted teeth.

"No fair," Lisanna complained then, frowning at Laxus. "What do I get?"

"What are you talking about?"

"It's not fair that I don't get a wish too," Lisanna complained as Elfman went back to making his food, mulling over what Laxus had said while he was at it. "Just because I don't say it, Laxus, I think that you suck too. There. Now do I get a wish?"

"Stop calling it a wish," he grumbled, stabbing at his pancakes. "And yeah, Lisanna, if you want a favor, fine. You get one too."

"Great!" She put a finger to her lips, thinking hard. "What do I want from you? Ooh, I know…no. Maybe…nope. I…um…"

"I know what I want." Elfman, who had started frying a few eggs, turned to look over at them then. "I know what's worth giving away my sister for."

"When you put it like that," Lisanna said with a frown, looking over at him, "you had better hope that your wish is important. And hey, Laxus, don't genies normally grant three wishes?"

"I'm not a genie! And they're not damn wishes, they're-"

"Wow, you're really making me wanna rethink your offer here."

"I never offered this to you in the first place!"

"Laxus," Lisanna complained. "I know I haven't shown you before, but I have a really devious side. And if I want, I can make Mirajane call this wedding off. Right this second. Test me. You think she loves Elfman? I'm on a whole other level."

Elfman nodded. "She is."

"Yeah," he grumbled. "I know."

"So-"

"Fine," he grumbled. "You both get one favor and then one joint one. Happy?"

"Yes," Lisanna said. "I-"

"I said that I know what I wanted," Elfman reminded.

"Fine," Laxus groaned, still messing with his pancakes. "So say it. What do you want?"

"I want you to get me and Evergreen together."

Laxus blinked as Lisanna almost snorted up the milk she'd been taking a sip of.

"What?"

"Elfman," Lisanna giggled. "You guys already are-"

"No, we're not."

"This…this is for real?" Laxus looked to Lisanna. "Ever and… Ew. Gross. No. Never mind. Deal off."

"You said-"

"I lied."

"Elfman," his younger sister kept up. "I'm serious. Aren't you and Ever…dating now? I mean, I thought-"

"No," he said. "We're just hooking up together sometimes and-"

"Ew, gross! Never mind!"

Laxus was still playing over the words in his mind. "Is this some sort of joke? Seriously, guys, I-"

"I just want her to acknowledge that yes, we are seeing one another," Elfman said. "I'm tired of hiding it. I-"

"Hide it?" Lisanna was still confused. "Seriously everyone in the guild knows. How are you hiding anything?"

"So you guys really aren't shitting me with this? This is a thing?" Laxus shook his head. "Wow. I mean, I thought I was observant, but-"

"That's my wish," Elfman said. "To be able to openly say that I'm seeing Evergreen."

"You're wasting a wish on this?" his sister asked. "Really, Elfman, I think that everyone-"

"Little shocked that you're giving your sister away to me at such a low price, but done," Laxus said, pushing away from the table. "Meet Ever tonight at the guildhall. Around seven. It'll all be set up then. Bring flowers. Or whatever Ever likes. And Lisanna, be ready with your wish then. And wash my dish, huh?"

It was actually easier than Laxus thought. After showering, he headed out to Freed's place, to find out if he knew where Ever was.

Lucky him, both she and Bickslow were over when he arrived.

"You want me to what?" Ever had exclaimed after he told her.

Bickslow only frowned. "Why are you so shocked? Don't you go on dates with Elfman all the time?"

"Yes," Freed agreed as they sat around at his kitchen table. "I thought that this was a normal activity for you."

"Yeah, I swear you missed last week's practice for-"

"I had an emergency," she hissed.

"If banging the Strauss brother is an emergency, then I hope it's one that I never get afflicted with," Bickslow said.

"I concur," Freed said with a nod of his head.

"How did everyone know about this, but me?" Laxus was still in a state of shock. "I mean, I know I'm kinda self-absorbed and the rest of my time has gone to Mira recently, but seriously?"

"This has been going on for quite some time," Freed told him. "Years."

"I don't know what you guys are talking about." Ever took to crossing her arms and looking off. "Elfman and I… No. Just no."

"Ever," Freed told her. "It's okay. I mean, we all of weird…enjoyments at times."

"Yeah," Bickslow agreed. "And besides, everyone already knows. Except the boss apparently."

"I swear, I'm missing something here." Laxus gave her a strong gaze then. "You and the Elf, huh? Hmmm. What is it about him? All that man talk? Or-"

"Nothing," Ever insisted, his tone and words making her squirm. And his gaze wasn't helping anything anyhow. "We're not together, so-"

"I believe you," he assured her. "It'd be crazy to think that you'd lower yourself to his level."

"Thank-"

"And besides," Laxus kept up. "You wouldn't lie to me, would you, Evergreen?"

"W-Well-"

"I mean, if you were seeing him, you would tell me, right? Why wouldn't you? You should never lie to me. I-"

"Okay, okay, so I'm sleeping with Elfman…frequently…and going out on dates with him. But-"

"Fine. Then do it publicly and let me get some damn peace," Laxus said, looking to Freed then. "Now that that's done with, I feel like some coffee."

"Right! Of course."

As Freed jumped into action, Bickslow's dolls following, Ever took to denying once more.

"It's not that simple, Laxus," she said. "I mean, sure I might see him occasionally, but…but…"

"Oh, please." Bickslow stuck his tongue out, wagging it slightly. "She don't see nobody else. We would know about it. He's your boyfriend, Ever. Just say it. If it's bothering him enough that he wasted his wish on you, then you have to get how important you are to him, huh? So help Laxus grant the wish! And stop being so uptight. The poor man's clearly hurtin' here. I mean, yeah, he's not the best guy around, and even if I was into that, I wouldn't be into him, but there's someone for everyone. And you're his someone."

Laxus blinked. "That sounded sweet. And sorta rude. But still really sweet. You wanna speak at my wedding?"

"Of course, boss!"

Ever huffed then, still refusing to stare at any of them. "But Elfman is-"

"Look, Ever, I really don't care who you fuck," Laxus told her bluntly. "At all. It could be multiple guys and I still wouldn't care. But this is my relationship with Mirajane here. So you're going to openly admit to dating this clown. Got it? And…Bickslow's right. If you guys are seriously seeing one another anyways and apparently everyone, but me knows it…what are you hurting?"

So after drinking some coffee and telling Ever to be around the guild at seven to meet with Elfman, Laxus departed to go workout some.

Not before checking one more time.

"This seriously isn't a joke?" he asked Freed. "They're…dating?"

"Yes."

"Wow. I feel, like, so blindsided right now." Laxus shook his head. "Today sure has been weird."

"At least it's over, yes?"

"Not quite," Laxus sighed.

"Hmmm?"

"I got two more favors to fulfill."

"Really? What are they?"

He only sighed. "I don't even know yet."

When he arrived at the guildhall that night though, he was more than ready to find out.

"Hi, Laxus," Mirajane greeted as he came over to the bar to greet her.

That was another rule. Put no one above her.

And believe him, he didn't. Not even himself.

Anymore.

"Hey," he said as she leaned over the bar to give him a kiss. "Your brother been by or-"

"He's downstairs," she said, staring at him. "He seems real stressed about something. I asked, but he-"

"Yeah, well, that's about to all fad away, huh?" Laxus grinned at her. "Your man took care of everything."

"Of everything?"

"Of everything."

"What?"

"Ever-ything is taken care of."

"You're not-"

"Just…bring me a beer, later, huh?" He turned to walk off then, over to a table off by himself.

Gah! They all made his life so complicated.

Elfman came upstairs later, immediately heading over to Laxus' table. Lisanna, who'd been working up until that point, came over as well.

"So?" Elfman was staring at him hard. "Did you-"

"I told you I would, didn't I?" Laxus grumbled as Lisanna took a seat. "So just calm down. She'll be here soon. And where are her flowers?"

"Oh. That." Elfman reached into his pocket and produced some sort of tiny figurine.

"The fuck is that?"

"You said to get something Ever liked," he complained. "She likes these."

"What the hell, Elfman?" Laxus shook his head. "No wonder she wouldn't admit to you."

"They're just little collectables," Lisanna told him with a giggle. "So, hey, about my wish. I think I'm ready!"

Great. Laxus took a sip of beer before saying, "Alright. Lay it on me."

Lisanna was just about ready to ask Laxus help convincing her siblings that they were totally cat people and should adopt one, when Ever showed up.

"Elfman," Ever greeted as she approached the table. He was real nervous, it was clear, and only moved to hand her off the little figurine.

"I got you this," he said quickly. "I'm sorry if you already have this one, but I thought-"

"I told him to get flowers," Laxus told her. "If you wanna break this date right now, I understand. Or reveal to me that this is all just a big joke, which I'm still thinking it is-"

"Elfman." Ever giggled which was not something Laxus ever wanted to hear her do. At all. Gross. He and Lisanna shared a gag. "That's really nice. Thank you."

"Uh…well…Laxus told me that we were going to go out on a date tonight. Here. In Magnolia. So I thought-"

"We are," she told him, making eye contact with the man. "But Laxus also wanted me to remind you-"

"Uh, right here," Laxus complained.

"-that you have to accept him now. As your brother or housemate or whatever."

"Ew, don't ever call them mates again." Lisanna made a face. "That makes me think of, like, animals. And…no, wait, yeah, you guys are mates, Laxus. That's funny. Housemates? Get it? Like-"

"This genie is about to retract your wish," he told her, void of emotion with that one. Lisanna only giggled.

"Of course," Elfman said, looking at Laxus now. "Thank you. I-"

"Yeah, yeah, go away. On your creepy little date or whatever. Just don't reproduce. Please. For the sake of humanity." He was staring at Lisanna still. "So? What do you want? Huh?"

"I want a cat."

He blinked. Then he sighed. "One of those annoying talking ones? Because-"

"No," she said, shaking her head. "Not an Exceed. I want a little baby kitten that can sleep in my bed and I can-"

"Fine. Let's go find someone selling them and-"

"I take it back, I take it back!" Lisanna was practically bouncing then as she noticed something across the bar. Laxus glanced over, but didn't see anything of interest.

"What?"

"You got Ever and Elf together, right? I mean, sort of. So can you…can you get me with someone?"

"With Wakaba?" He frowned, glancing at her. "Uh, Lisanna, I think we need to discuss not only your standards, but also your tastes. Older's fine, but that much? And married? I'm not-"

"Not Wakaba," she told him tensely. "Natsu."

He about died at that one. He saw the Salamander then, with his cat and blonde friend, over at a table near Macao and Wakaba, the three of them happily speaking to one another.

"That's what you want? The Salamander?"

"Isn't it obvious? I thought everyone knew that?"

He grunted then as Elfman and Ever set out on their date or whatever they were doing. Bleh. Laxus didn't care. He was already putting it out of his mind. Gross.

"You want the damn Salamander, kid? Your big brother's gonna get you the Salamander."

"Really?" Lisanna was staring at his with so much awe that, damn it, if she'd asked for that Exceed, he'd of gone out and gotten her one!

Maybe.

He'd have tried.

And then given up.

But Mira always told him it was the thought that counted.

Except for when he thought about putting the toilet seat down and forgot.

Every rule had an exception, after all.

"Yeah, sure. How hard could it be?" Laxus moved to stand. "I mean, even though I hate him, I'll put that aside, just for you. I did it with Ever and Elfman. So-"

"Wait! You can't do it now!"

"Why?" He frowned when she reached out to grab his arm and pull him back into his chair.

And all those times that he'd seen Lisanna restrain Elfman, it hadn't made sense. At all. How could she keep him from doing anything?

But it made sense in that moment.

Little sisters, man.

"Because," she hissed. "I'd be, like, so embarrassed."

"Don't you tell him all the time that you love him and-"

"See? You do pay attention."

He sighed. "Look, Lisanna, you've known him since you were kids. And he's known that you were into him. Has he ever turned you down? Huh? Huh? No. Because clearly, he's into you too."

"Yeah, but Laxus, can't you just wait until I'm not here? I-"

"Nope," he said, shaking her off. "You got one wish. I get to oversee how that wish is put into action. Now sit here and watch."

"But-"

"Lisanna," he sighed, getting to his feet. "What's the worst that can happen?"

Apparently, not what Laxus thought. Because as he went over to Natsu, the last thing he ever thought would happen did.

"Hey," he grumbled as he approached the table, both Happy and Lucy staring up at him in shock, if not slight fear, no doubt running through all the things they'd done wrong recently, trying to find one that had pissed off the Thunder God enough so that'd he'd approach them.

Natsu though, he was always the optimist. Jumping right up, chicken leg still in hand, he said, "Hey, Laxus! You here for a fight?"

"No," he said simply. Then he paused. "Err, fine. We can fight. But you gotta do somethin' for me first."

"Alright!" Natsu fist pumped before holding the chicken leg out to him. "Here."

Laxus blinked, not moving to take it. "What?"

"Well, that's the one thing, right? You want my chicken?"

"No," he told the other man dryly.

"Then what?" Lucy was interested then too as Happy only took to snickering.

"What difference does it make? Natsu's about to get hurt either way."

"Way to be supportive, Hap," Natsu complained, sending him a look.

"I'm being helpful."

"Helpful? How was that helpful?"

"I'm trying to persuade you-"

"Enough!" Alright, so maybe Laxus wouldn't be rushing out to get Lisanna one of those flying cats after all. He didn't know how the others coped with them. They were just so annoying. Gah. He'd never been happier with his generation placement on the slayer scale.

"Oh, right." Natsu grinned at him then. "What is it that you want? Laxus? And can you make it quick? I wanna show you my new super awesome move I've worked out. It's gonna just kill ya! But not really. Or maybe. I dunno yet. So-"

"I need you to go on a date with Lisanna."

"Like what? She's bored or something? Cool. Me and Hap and Lucy and Lisanna can go-"

"A serious date, dumbass," Laxus grumbled. "And keep dating her. For the length of me and Mira's marriage. So forever."

Lucy blushed then and Happy took to snickering.

"No can do," Natsu said, going back to eating his chicken leg then.

"What? Why not? I-"

"Me and Luce are sorta dating, so-"

"Natsu!" Lucy sent him a look. "You weren't supposed to tell anyone."

"What did you want me to-"

"You're what?" Suddenly, Mirajane was at their sides, pulling Lucy up so she could hug her.

"The hell type of hearin' you got, demon?" Laxus grumbled, glaring at her.

"When it comes to stuff like this, I have a sixth sense."

"I believe you," he sighed.

Natsu grinned then as Happy took to the air, excited that he didn't have to keep it a secret anymore. It had been almost impossible for him. Constantly he felt it just slipping out. Now he didn't have to worry about it anymore!

"You love Lucy," Happy mocked. Laxus only frowned at the way Natsu was grinning.

"Great, so you idiots too? What's with this place? It's like all the men that should never reproduce are suddenly landing women."

"Considering you're about to get married, I really don't think you can throw stones," Lucy told him as his fiancée about choked her out. When Laxus sent her a look though, Lucy was glad to have Mirajane right there to protect her.

"You still owe me a fight though, Laxus. Regardless," Natsu was saying then.

"No way."

Upon making it back to his table, Laxus only took his seat before taking a sip of beer. Then he remembered why he'd gone and messed with the stupid Salamander in the first place.

"Where'd Lisanna go?" He looked around, but couldn't find her.

Oh…oh no. Laxus downed the rest of his beer quickly. Shit. Shit. Shit. She must have overheard and…

Awe man.

Why did Laxus life always have to be so complicated?

"I don't wanna be a big brother anymore," he sighed that night as he sat on Mirajane's couch, her glaring as she stood before him, arms crossed. "It sucks."

"Why would you ever think about making that sort of promise to her anyhow?"

"I was high, Mira. High on the fact I'd gotten Ever and Elfman together. Weren't you listening to the story?"

"Yeah, I didn't get that. Haven't they been together?"

He only shook his head at her. "That's another story for another time. The point is…am I in trouble?"

"With me? No. I'm a little angry right now, but I'm not going to punish you for trying to do something nice."

"Oh, good, then-"

"But Lisanna's in her room, upset still, because you embarrassed her."

"And crushed her dreams." Laxus sighed, shaking his head. "Now what?"

"Well," Mira said slowly. "Considering I like Natsu and Lucy together, breaking them up is out of the question."

"Uh, Mir, it would have been either way."

"So I guess you better go talk to her."

He groaned.

"Laxus."

"Please, don't make me. I don't do crying. At all."

"It's your mess. Go clean it up."

"But-"

"Would you rather her stay depressed?"

"No," he sighed, getting to his feet. "But… How much do you think Gajeel would sell me his cat for?"

Mira blinked. Then she only pointed, not wanting to even know about that one. "Go."

He really didn't want to, but what choice did he have? With a sigh, he headed for Lisanna's room.

He knocked first.

"Go away, Mira."

"It's not Mira."

"You go away too."

"Lisanna," he groaned. "I'm sorry."

"No, you're not. I told you not to-"

"What did you expect? I would have had to have asked him somehow."

"In front of the entire guild though? And Lucy?"

"Hey, in my defense, he's always with the blonde chick, so I would have never had a chance to…and now it all makes sense. Huh." Laxus was coming around to Mira's point. They did make a pretty nice couple.

"You're not helping!"

Eek. Right. Hmmm.

"Uh…is there something else I can do for you? Like, gee, I dunno, come in? So I can stop talking to a door?"

"Go away."

"Is that your wish?"

"Laxus-"

"I just want you to feel better, okay?" Gah! She had him sounding so stupid and being concerned and…and… "Hey, tell you what, I'mma get you a way better boyfriend than the Salamander."

"There is no one better than Natsu!"

He blinked. "Again, we are going to have to talk to you about your standards."

"Lax-"

"And, for the record, I'm way better than Natsu."

"Leave me-"

"What if I get you one of my, you know, more mature friends? That aren't in our guild?"

That made her pause. "Like who?"

"No one you would know. I know a lot of people, alright? Mages, civilians. I'm pretty popular."

"You?"

"Me."

"Are you sure?"

"Lisanna-"

The door opened then and she was standing there, her eyes still puffy. "I don't want another guy. I want Natsu."

"I know." He reached out to pat her on the head. "And if it makes you feel any better, what are the chances of Lucy and him working out, huh? Next to none."

She sniffled. "Lucy's amazing and Natsu's amazing and they're amazing together and everyone thinks so and-"

"So? Who cares? You're way better than Lucy."

"I am not."

"Well…okay," he said.

"Laxus."

"What?"

"You're supposed to tell me I'm wrong and that I am great."

"Why? If you don't even believe it?"

"You-"

"You still want a cat?" Laxus was staring at her. "'cause the demon's feeling real bad for you right now. I could probably get you two if you wanted. Or a dog. I'm leaning towards that more than a cat, but hey, it's your wish."

She sniffled. Then, "No. Even a cat wouldn't make this better."

"And a date wouldn't either?"

"No."

"Really? I know some hot guys."

"Really now? And you're the one judging this or-"

"Lisanna."

He got a giggle out of her then before she turned to close her door.

"I'm fine, Laxus," she said before doing so. "Just…leave me alone, huh?"

But he felt real bad. Which was stupid. People got rejected all the time.

Not people like him, of course because, duh, but he got it. Lucy versus Lisanna? The Salamander was smart.

…Err, something like that.

"I will go on a date with her, Laxus, if it will help," was Freed's offer the next day when Laxus went over to his place to talk about it. Bickslow was, once again over (he frequented there because Freed actually stocked his fridge instead of just buying and living off candy), and was listening too. At Freed's suggestion, he took to snickering.

"Poor girl. Can't get the Salamander and gets stuck with you?"

"What's wrong with me?" Freed frowned at Bickslow.

"Nothing," he said. "But-"

"I really don't think it would be a good idea to boost Lisanna's spirits by setting her up on a date with a guy that feels forced to go on it," Laxus said.

"She won't know it. I will date her until you tell me to stop. I am that committed."

"Yeah, but…I mean, I think when she finds out that you're not…into women that…that would be a bigger blow, you know?"

"She will never find out! I will go to the grave with it."

"Yeah, that's sorta like Ever thinking Elfman was a secret," Bickslow remarked.

"You-"

"I'll date 'er, boss," Bickslow said, grinning as his tongue tumbled from his mouth. "I-"

"No."

"But-"

"No."

"You-"

"No."

"Why not?"

"Why not?" his dolls mimicked

"Because," Laxus said with a shake of his head as they sat on the couch. "It's still someone being forced to date her."

"No way! I'd love to get it in with her."

"And that." Laxus sent him a look. "Lisanna's... She's Mira's sister. And soon, she'll be my sister. You're not… No. Just…no."

"Aw," Bickslow complained. "I won't sleep with 'er if you don't want me to, boss."

"No."

"But…I dunno. I was kinda getting my heart set on impressin' ya."

"Well, do it some other way."

"I'm kinda like the Salamander, huh?" Bickslow looked to the man who refused to give him a second glance.

"How?"

"Well, we both are real fun, ain't we? And he's got the cat, I got the babies. His hair's a weird color. Mine is just freaking awesome. We're practically twins, boss."

Laxus blinked as Freed sighed.

"Bickslow," he said. "You are being blind here. You and Lisanna? Never. But me and Lisanna-"

"I thought we already went over this?" Laxus groaned.

"You say you don't want him to be with her because they might… Well I guarantee you that we won't!"

"I have no argument for that," Bickslow said, nodding his head. "They seriously won't."

Groaning then, Laxus said, "I don't even think she wants a date anymore. At all. I think she just wanted the Salamander."

"You want us to go kidnap the blonde one then?"

"How would that help, Bickslow?"

"I dunno," he said with a shrug. "I just kinda always wanted to get it in with that one too. And you're over here grantin' wishes and stuff-"

"Enough with this wishes shit! I got one couple together that, according to all of you, was always together. I give up. I'm no good at this."

"Oh, Laxus, you're good at everything," Freed said.

"Yeah, boss," Bickslow added. "You're amazing."

Grunt. Then, "I gotta make it up to Lisanna somehow. Make her feel better."

"I'm tellin' ya," the seith kept up. "I'm a fun date. Women love me."

He had a headache. "If it gets you to shut up, fine. Go on one date with her. But don't mention me. Make it seem like-"

"I'm on it, boss!"

"And make it real nice, huh?"

"Totally."

"And no sleeping together."

"Boss," he complained. "Would I ever ignore orders?"

Laxus sure hoped not.

And, because right after that, Freed began praising Laxus once more over his many accomplishments, he sorta forgot all about Bickslow and Lisanna.

The whole day, in fact. It wasn't the next morning, when Lisanna didn't come home the night before and Mira was worried that Laxus found himself making the trek to Bickslow's tiny apartment.

"I didn't sleep with her, I didn't sleep with her," he was complaining as he opened the door to reveal a very ticked off Laxus. "But I did make her feel- Ah! Boss!"

Laxus only shoved him out of the way as he came into the apartment. Lisanna was there, clearly having been sleeping on the couch only moments before, as she sat there on it, a blanket over her.

"Laxus, what are you-"

"I get it, alright? You get your heart broken, you go out and screw someone, but Lisanna, him? Seriously?" Laxus couldn't help the annoyance in his tone. "I mean, a rebound date, fine, but a rebound fuck? Him?"

"I didn't sleep with him! And it wouldn't be any of your business if I did."

"Oh, you didn't Lisanna? Really? You didn't?"

"No!"

"Then you just went home with some guy that you went on one date with that you barely know-"

"I've known him my whole life!"

"Stop yelling at me."

"Then stop getting in my business!"

"You take one girl home, babies, when she gets drunk on a date and suddenly you're a bad guy," Bickslow complained to his dolls who were swarming around, fearful over Laxus' loud voice. "Some would hail me…I dunno…a hero? A valiant guy? With a dark past? But is willing to change? For love?"

"Love?" Laxus got started again. "What is he-"

"You had to say that," Lisanna complained.

"We are in love." He grinned at Laxus. "We talked last night, me and Lissy here-"

"Lissy? What the… Is this a joke?" Laxus looked between them. "You spend one night together and-"

"It was really magical," Bickslow said.

"Totally."

"I mean, boss, me and Lisanna? We're meant to be."

"You are not!"

"We kinda are," Lisanna told him as she moved to get off the couch. "He explained to me about how my feelings for Natsu have been misdirected. I love Natsu, but I don't love him. I love Bickslow."

"After a night?"

"Who's to put a time frame on this sorta thing?"

"I don't know, Lisanna, but a night is definitely not in that time frame!" Laxus went to grab her arm then.

"Hey-"

"We're leaving. Put on your shoes."

"You're not being fair!"

"I don't care."

"Bye, Lisanna," Bickslow's babies called out. "Bye, boss."

Bickslow only shook his head. "Your resistance is making our love grow stronger, boss. We had a real heart to heart."

"She was drunk!"

"So was I! And I didn't sleep with her. You know why?"

"Because I told you not to?"

"That was part of it, yes."

"What?" Lisanna frowned at Bickslow. "He told you to-"

"Lissy, Lissy, Lissy. Don't ruin this magical date with lies."

"They're not lies," Laxus grumbled as Lisanna only shot him a look. "And I'm taking you home to your sister so she can yell at you."

Only she didn't do that. Oh, no. When they got home, Lisanna yelling at him the whole time, Mira expressed her joy over the whole thing.

"You're in love! This is great."

"My whole life is a joke," Laxus grumbled as Mirajane and her sister hugged. "Seriously, Mirajane? You know as well as I do that they're not-"

"Why are you so against this, Laxus?" Mira frowned. "See, Lisanna? I told you. He just hates love."

"I do not hate love. I'm in love with you, demon."

"Aw."

"But they're not-"

"What do you know?" Lisanna stuck her tongue out at him. "Hey. I know. For my wish, I want you to shut up and let me just be in love with Bickslow."

"You're not in love!"

"But you can't say that anymore because I wished it, so-"

"That's not how it works!"

"This is exactly how it works!"

"You're such a cute big brother," Mira told Laxus who only gave them both the stink eye.

"Fine. There goes your wish," he grumbled, heading out of the room they were in then. "But when he hurts you just like the damn Salamander, don't come crying to me! Because you're not in love. At all. Grow up."

"You grow up."

"No, you."

"You."

"You!"

"You!"

He slammed the front door behind him as he left.

To Mirajane, Lisanna said, "I think I like him a little bit more than Elfman."

Mira only hugged her again. "He's a lot more protective."

"And argumentative."

"You got him really worked up though."

"Yeah," Lisanna giggled. "I know."

"And you're not really in love with Bickslow."

"Of course not. But he said it to get Laxus all riled up and…I dunno. I like making him mad."

Mira got that.

"You two didn't really-"

"No, of course not. I just… We went out and we were drinking and… I just slept on the couch. And we talked a lot. And… I like him."

"That's good."

"Yeah."

The front door was opening again and, not a minute later, Elfman appeared in the kitchen, where they were standing.

"I just saw Laxus as I was coming up the walk," he said. "And he seemed really pissed."

"He is," Lisanna said as Mira giggled, letting her younger sister go. "But he'll get over it."

"What'd you do to him?" Elfman asked, frowning. "I mean, not that I'm hatin' it, but he really did help me out with Ever."

"I just cashed in my wish," Lisanna told him with a giggle.

"Oh, yeah?" Elfman looked at Mirajane. "Your boyfriend's real great. He-"

"I heard. Favors or something?"

"Yeah, and actually," Lisanna said as Mira went to finish washing the dishes, as she had been before they entered. "We have one more wish, remember, Elf?"

"Oh yeah! A joint one. So what do you want, Lisanna?"

"A cat! No, I… Well…"

"I think," Mira said, glancing over at them. "That you got this all wrong."

"Eh?" Elfman shook his head. "No, the rules were pretty clear. He said-"

"Laxus both gave you guys want you wanted, right? Which was super nice. Well, this is a big adjustment for him too," Mirajane said. "So for the third wish, I think you should let him tell you two what he wants from you."

Lisanna frowned. "That's no fun."

"Yeah," Elfman said. "I wasted my wish on something I already had."

"See? I told you," Lisanna said. "And mine's not that great either. I want a do over."

"Why didn't we just wish for more wishes?"

"That's what we'll do with the last one."

"No," Mira told them. "When Laxus gets here tonight, you're going to tell him that you're going to give the last wish to him. Understand?"

"Yes, ma'am."

"Fine."

But Laxus didn't wanna go back over there. Lisanna had him all feeling weird and…and…caring and then he ran into Ever who was all bubbly about Elfman and, seriously, was that whole thing not a joke?

Laxus kept expecting it to be a joke.

Still though, he'd told the demon that he would eat dinner over there, so he really was in a bind.

Hoping that Lisanna wouldn't be around when he showed up, Laxus was disappointed to find not only her, but also Elfman.

And Mira, but that wasn't so bad.

"Sit, sit, sit," Mira giggled, dragging him over the couch.

"Mirajane-"

"They have something they want to tell you."

"Like what? Sorry?" he asked, staring at Lisanna.

"No," she said slowly, frowning over at him. "Just that…well… Mira, do we have to?"

"Yes."

"We're giving you our last wish," Elfman told him, nodding his head. "Men know how to share! And give back. You gave to us, so now we're going to give to you."

"Give me… What?"

"They're gonna grant your wish now," Mirajane told him, all peppy and bouncing. He loved her, fine, but sometimes she gave him headaches. "So what do you want?"

He blinked. "What?"

"Laxus, just ask them for something."

"I don't want to ask them for something," he complained. "That's stupid. The whole thing was stupid. But it entertained them and it would get you off my case, so I did it. That's all."

"You don't want anything?' Lisanna asked. And since she was next to him on the couch, he only reached over to flick her head, which of course made her bat at his arm.

"No."

"You gotta want something," Elfman said. "You want us to…to make you food or something? Bake you a cake? Or…move out?"

"Elfman," Lisanna complained before looking back at Laxus. "You cannot wish that. I can't afford that. Please don't-"

He patted her on the head that time. "I don't want you guys to go anywhere."

"You don't?"

"Of course not." Then, just because it would make the demon happy, he said, "We're a family. We belong together."

Elfman took to sobbing and Mira more bouncing, but Lisanna only gagged.

"You're going soft," she complained.

"Shuddup," he said, frowning at her. "'fore I go and tell Bickslow to never talk to you again."

"You can't do that!"

"I can too. I can do anything."

"You cannot! Mira-"

"Laxus." She was still in a state of disbelief. "This is so sweet! You love them, huh?"

"Wouldn't go that far."

"I've never had a brother!"

"Elfman," Lisanna complained. "The other day you hated him."

"It doesn't matter. Brothers fight. But we'll always make up."

"And I'm done being nice for, oh, the year." Laxus shoved off the couch then, headed to the kitchen. "I want my dinner now, Mirajane."

She followed along. "You're so cute."

"I am not."

"Are too. I'm going to tell everyone how you-"

"You will tell no one."

"Everyone."

"No one."

Lisanna though stayed out on the couch, watching as Elfman slowly came to sit down next to her.

"I guess he'll do," she said slowly to which her sobbing brother nodded.

"Yeah," he sighed. "He will."

This got way too long, I know, but what can you do?