Three

Bellamy had spent the rest of the week fuming, snapping at anyone and anything. He'd ignored the majority of Kane's summons and thrown himself into all of the patrol groups, spending as much time away from Camp as possible. At least that way he could be pissed while still being productive. In fact just yesterday his patrol had spotted signs of a deserted Grounder camp. It was nothing big, and by the looks of it whatever the group had left, they'd been small in numbers and hadn't stayed long. They were on the move, but Bellamy didn't want to tell the council... not yet. The news would only create chaos, and they already had plenty enough of that to go around. He'd monitor the situation himself and handle it, if and when it became a threat.

Unfortunately he couldn't stay out in the woods forever and when he was at Camp he was either curt or unresponsive, something that Octavia had called him out for, her exact words being "You're acting like a complete and total ass." Raven had agreed, letting him know loud enough for everyone to hear that he was becoming harder to be around than Murphy. Now that had been a insult.

Bellamy didn't want to feel this way, and he hated the fact that his anger at Clarke was being channeled onto the others. They sure as hell didn't deserve it, and he knew that. But if he was being honestly with himself, he wasn't even sure he could call what he was feeling as just anger. Every day he grappled with the emotions raging inside of him. Even though he was relieved he found her alive rather than dead, he couldn't suppress the anger he felt at her being so... fine. He couldn't stop himself from feeling hurt, and more than that, confused. Every god damn day he struggled to get out of bed and lead these people without her. He'd thought Clarke would have felt the same way, but apparently those feelings weren't mutual. While he couldn't bear a life without her, she was doing just fine without him. That's what hurt the most.

But the more time he had alone, the more time he had to think about the way they'd left things. He'd been harsh, maybe even unfairly so, and even though he was angry... he couldn't stand the thought of her hating him. Or even worse, the thought of her thinking that he hated her.

He walked past the quarters that he'd had the council set up as a common area for the kids, and saw Monty standing by doors, pacing back and forth. Bellamy nodded at him and continued to march down the hall, but he wasn't alone, and Monty ran behind him.

Once they reached his own quarters, Bellamy finally stopped, closed the door and sighed. "What is it, Monty?"

Monty stood by the door awkwardly, his shoulders hunched and his hands shoved into his pockets. But he wasn't even looking at Bellamy, rather was turning his head around, taking in the room.

"Monty." Bellamy said more tersley, finally getting his attention.

The boy shook his head, "Sorry, it's just that your room is so much bigger than ours.. or maybe mine just feels smaller... sharing with Jasper hasn't exactly been easy."

Bellamy swallowed, seeing the guilt written on Monty's face only bringing back memories of his own. Even though over a month had passed, the tensions between Monty and Jasper clearly hadn't lessened, even Bellamy had been able to see that. The two barely spoke to each other, and when they did – Jasper was always on the offensive. It hurt him to see their friendship torn apart, but he didn't want to intervene. He didn't know how to, but Clarke... that was something she would have been able to handle. Or at least handle it better than him.

Bellamy faced away from Monty and looked at his own room, his eyes automatically drawn to the empty hammock that had belonged to Finn when they'd first been brought to Camp. It seemed like a lifetime ago, and Bellamy couldn't help but feel suffocated by a presence that wasn't even there.

"It used to be Finn's", he said, turning back to Monty whose eyes were now fixed to the ground. It hadn't taken the kids long to realize that Finn was gone. On the walk back to Mount Weather, Clarke had told Monty, but after she'd left, it'd been Bellamy's responsibility to fill in everyone else. The memory of that conversation twisted his stomach into knots, and he knew he'd never forget the looks on each and everyone of their faces as the kids who'd already suffered so much were only met with more loss.

He coughed, trying to relieve some of the tension in the air, "So, is there something you needed?"

Monty looked back up at him, "I just thought I'd tell you I got back from seeing Clarke."

Bellamy closed his eyes and let out a harsh breath, but Monty pressed on.

"She tried not to let it show, but I could tell she was upset... more than normal. Something happened between you two didn't it?"

Bellamy hadn't told Monty the details of his encounter with Clarke at the lake. He'd just told him that he'd found her, hoping he'd accept it as that.

"That's none of your business Monty."

"Like hell it's not!"

Bellamy widened his eyes, suprised at the outburst.

"Look, she's my friend and she's hurting and it's obvious to just about everyone that you are to."

Monty took a moment to pause, thinking over his next words before continuining, "You and Clarke.. you guys are all I have left right now."

Bellamy swallowed and felt a tightening in his chest. He thought he could see tears starting to pool in Monty's eyes.

"Please.. whatever is wrong... just talk to her and fix it. If you don't, trust me, you'll regret it."

Bellamy understood that Monty was talking about more than just him and Clarke. Moreover, he knew that everything he was saying was the truth. He thought of every time he'd said something awful to Octavia, and how much he'd regretted it. But Octavia was family, and Bellamy knew she'd always forgive him, but Clarke was different. She didn't have to, but Bellamy knew he needed to at least try.

"Ok," he said calmly, "I'll go talk to her."

Monty simply nodded, "Good."

He looked around once more and put a hand on the door, but Bellamy stopped him. Bellamy understood the burden that Monty was carrying around on his shoulders, he knew because the same one was crushing him. But he could only imagine how much harder it was for him, living with Jasper, and being reminded of what they'd done every time he looked into his best friend's eyes. Bellamy thought about what Clarke would do in this situation, and even though this wouldn't solve the problem, at least it'd make it easier to live with.

"Monty before you go... you know I don't need all this space to myself. I'm practically never here anyways and there no sense just keeping it empty"

Monty's brows furrowed, and Bellamy could hear how confusing his own words sounded. Damn, he sucked at this.

"What I'm trying to say is, you're more than welcome to come live here. If, you know, that's something you'd want?"

He saw the ghost of a smile appear on Monty's face. "Thanks Bellamy." That was all that needed to be said.

Bellamy smiled back for the first time in a week, finally feeling like he'd done something right, something that Clarke would have been proud of. "Anytime."

Monty left and Bellamy grabbed his pack from beneath his hammock. He threw a canteen of water in along with two of his rations, leaving as much space inside of it as he could. It was still light out, but he knew he should get going now. After all, he had a stop to make along the way.

By the time he got to the dropship the sun was starting to set... his detour had taken him longer than he'd expected, so much so that he'd ran the rest of the way here. He stopped before the gates, still hidden behind the cover of the trees, and tried to calm himself down. He felt his heart beating embarrassingly fast, and he scolded himself for being so pathetic. He shouldn't be this nervous. He hadn't even been this anxious when he'd been running for his life from the guards in Mount Weather. Why the hell was one girl able to have such an affect on him?

"Are you just going to stand here all night?"

Bellamy jumped, spinning around towards the voice so quickly that he lost his footing and tripped over a rock, falling backwards, ass-first.

"Fucking hell", he groaned as he felt pain pulsing from his tailbone all the way up to his skull. He rubbed the back of his head, as his eyes slowly adjusted to the figure standing over him. Clarke's arms were crossed, and her eyes betrayed no signs of sympathy.

"Need a hand?", she said as she stretched her free palm out towards him, the other holding a pile of large branches.

He muttered incomprehensible obscenities beneath his breath as he reached out and grabbed it, letting her pull him up. Once he was back up on his feet, albeit unsteadily, Clarke turned, walking past him through the gates. He regained his balance and picked up the branches she'd dropped in her attempt to help in, and trailed after her quickly. She was already back in the dropship by the time he got there.

"You dropped these", he announced, his voice sounding awkward and strained.

She grabbed them from his arms, replying with a cool, "Thanks".

Clarke tossed them aside with the others, which drew Bellamy's eyes to the pile of spears and arrows she'd amassed in the corner. By the looks of it, he could even see something that was starting to resemble a bow. Clearly, she'd been keeping busy.

"I see you've got quite the collection going... but you know, you could have just asked Monty to bring you a gun?"

Clarke stared back at him vacantly, and replied sharply, "No." She looked away, "No guns."

Bellamy ran a hand through his hair, and opened his mouth and said at the same time as she did, "Look I'm sorry."

They stared at eachother with tense smiles and both laughed nervously, he sighed and started again.

"No, really, Clarke.. I'm sorry. What I said to you, I didn't mean it. I was just overwhelemed.. I'm sorry." He ran out of breath, and ran out of words to say.

She took a step closer to him, and he felt himself tense even though she was still well beyond his reach.

"No, you were right, Bellamy... I should have remembered that Monty was coming. I didn't think.. I never wanted to worry you like that, I'm sorry."

If only she knew that as long as they were separated, he would never be able to stop worrying about her.

"Maybe we should stop apologizing to eachother, Princess."

She stared back at him, his heart clenching at the sadness in her eyes, "Maybe we should stop doing things we need to apologize for."

Bellamy swallowed, gazing right back at her. "Maybe we should", he whispered. In that moment he wanted to do nothing more than wrap her in his arms, and kiss her. Taking away every ounce of her pain. He wanted to run his hands through her hair, and feel her hot breath on his neck. He wanted to hold onto her and never let her go, letting her know that in his arms she would always be safe.

He shook his head, trying to clear his mind from the intensity of that moment. Clarke backed away as well, crossing her arms over her chest. He suddenly remembered what he'd came for in the first place.

Bellamy coughed and reached his arms around to his back, "I brought you something."

"You didn't have to do that, didn't Monty tell you he already dropped everything off today?"

"Relax, Clarke", he finally found what he was searching for, pulling the sketchbook and art supplies out from his pack.

"Oh", he heard her gasp.

He walked over to her and placed it all into her hands, smiling at the look of total bewilderment in her eyes.

"I got it from the bunker, I figured you probably wouldn't be going back there, and well, it's a shame to just let it sit there. Besides, I mean, I figured if you're out here all by yourself this could at least be somewhat – "

His mumbling was cut off when he felt her reach up and plant a soft kiss to his cheek, "I love it, Bellamy. Thank you, really." She moved back and stared at the book in her hands, "I needed this."

He scratched the back of his head and shifted his eyes across the room so they looked anywhere but her, trying to conceal the heat he felt rising to his cheeks, "Yeah, uh, no problem."

In his perhipheral he could make out the slight upturn of her lips, and he realized he didn't care if he looked like an idiot, as long as it got her to smile.

"Hey, sit down over there would you?"

He furrowed his brows in confusion, but did as he was told. She sat down opposite him with her legs crossed, opening the sketchbook and spreading it across her lap.

"Ok, now keep you're chin up straight. The lighting in here is pretty terrible, but I think if you do that I'll be able to make it work."

Bellamy put his hands up in protest, "Wait a second, no no no, you are not drawing me."

Clarke huffed and rolled her eyes in exasperation, "Don't be such baby, it's just a picture."

"What if you mess up my nose?"

"Are you serious? For crying out loud, Bellamy, just do it."

He couldn't stop himself from laughing, he'd forgotten how easy it was to get her frustrated.

"Easy there Princess. Alright fine, whatever you say", he leaned his head back and closed his eyes in defeat.

"Bellamy.. you have to keep your eyes open."

He opened them and looked right at her. Clarke was staring at him intently and he was unable to stop himself from noticing the intimacy of this moment.

She took one of the pencils, and bowed her head and slowly started to sketch, looking up at him and down at the paper quickly.

He broke the silence, "So, I think we should talk about –

"Shh", she silenced him. "You can't move your lips, you're going to mess me up."

"Alright, fine, then you talk."

Clarke stared up at him with a brow raised, "What do you want to hear?"

"Everything."

They stayed like that for what felt like an hour, and Clarke finally told him everything that'd happened while he was gone. His eyes had widened when she recounted the gorilla incident, "What? A gorilla? And here I thought the panther was the worst it could get." That comment had earned him another scloding, Clarke muttering about how he expected her to draw him when he wouldn't stop moving? But even with her nagging, he couldn't stop himself from bursting out again, more than once.

"You may be the chancellor, but I'm in charge? Damn, Princess, I'm impressed. I wish I could have seen the look on Abby's face."

Clarke had smiled at that one, and he even thought he saw her blush. She went on and on, telling him about everythign he'd missed, leaving out none of the gory details. But, she didn't mention Tondc, or the betrayal she faced in front of the doors to Mount Weather. She didn't have to, they'd already had that painful conversation on the walk back. But Bellamy couldn't help but notice the way the light seemed to go out of her eyes, her frown turn a little deeper, whenever she mentioned Lexa. Yet, he didn't press her, just like she hadn't pressed him when the air was sucked out of his chest when he'd told her about Lovejoy and his son. Some things were too painful to say outloud, and one look was enough to convey it all.

Eventually she'd trailed off and they sat in silence, Bellamy letting her concentrate. He himself became distracted by the way her hair fell across her face, and the way she brushed it away in annoyance. He mesmerzied by everything she did, even the simple way her forehead creased in concentration.

"There", she called out. "Done."

"Finally," he said, as he stretched out the kinnk that had formed in his neck. Clarke stared at him, and back down at the picture, still clutching the book in her hands.

"What, I don't get to see?"

She scooted over into the space next to him, and placed the sketchbook in his hands tentatively.

Even though she'd chided him to keep a striaght face, the moement she'd captured hadn't been serious at all, rather just the opposite, it was of him laughing. The picture was so realistic, and she'd taken care to draw in every single detail. It took his breath away, but more than that, it made him feel at peace. He didn't look like the worried brother, and he didn't look like the exhausted soldier. Instead, she'd brought out what he'd always wanted to be, happy.

"Wow," he breathed unable to keep the awe from his voice, "Clarke.. this is... this is amazing."

She smiled, "You sound surprised, what, did you doubt me?"

Bellamy knew she was teasing, but he shook his head and whispered softly, "Never."

She stared at him for a long time, until she looked down, staring intently at her hands.

"You should come home," he blurted out. He saw her tense and he realized how she'd taken that, so he hastily backtracked trying to lighten things up again, "Just, you know, to decorate the place up a little bit... I don't know.. draw some trees or something. And we could also use you on the security council.. Miller can't draw maps for shit."

Clarke laughed, "Hey, I'm sure he tries his best."

Bellamy shrugged, "He can try his best, but they better not come blaming me when his patrol groups end up getting lost or walking right off a damn cliff."

She chuckled again, before trailing off, slowly bringing her head down to rest on his shoulder. He felt her retreating back into her own mind, and he desperately wished he could stop her. She paused for a moment before she looked up at him earnestly, "I will, you know."

"What?", Bellamy asked, resting his chin atop her head.

"Come home", she breathed out heavily as if the words themselves were difficult for her to say. "I willl. Eventually."

Bellamy didn't know if she was trying to convince him or herself, but he decided that didn't matter. Those words were exactly what he needed to hear, and he clung to them with all his might. And so said he finally had the strenght to say the only thing he thought would bring her that same kind of peace.

"I know."

A/N: Hey guys! Sorry it took me a bit longer to update this one... this week has literally been a week from hell, so thanks for being patient :) I decided to keep this one all in Bellamy's POV, but next chapter is going to be back to Clarke. This turned out to be a bit fluffier than I was intending, but screw it, I just couldn't resist :P