Chapter 21: Reunited

Summary: Kirah and Bull are finally reunited.

Notes: Just a short one to soothe our hearts 3

'What do you mean I can't tell him?' Kirah asked, hysteria rising in her chest.

'If he knows you didn't want to do it, it might lessen the effect,' Shrokrakar warned. 'And if you ever need to repeat the practice in the future it won't be as effective. You can't risk it, Adaar.'

The Inquisitor glared at her Second. It had been two days and she'd been about to visit Bull for the first time since his punishment. She wanted to hold him, to tell him she didn't want to do it, that it pained her to hurt him, but now Shrokrakar was telling her she had to pretend otherwise so she could do it again if necessary. Her heart ached.

'If he goes a few years without needing it, perhaps you could confess then?' Dorian proposed, looking to the mercenary for endorsement. Shro gave a nod.

Kirah slammed a hand against her bed post. 'Andraste's flaming fucking tits,' she growled. 'Alright, alright. Can I just see him now?'

Shro considered her for a moment, then nodded. 'Sure, after lunch today swing by, I'll make sure he's ready.'

Bull awoke feeling more clear-headed than he had in days. He was still propped up in all the right places with a stiff pillow behind him so he didn't roll onto his back. He inhaled deeply. He was still sore, but he felt purged, totally free from the dark and heavy pain that had been grinding him down all these weeks.

'You're awake.'

The now familiar voice of Kirah's Second came from somewhere behind him.

'Yeah,' Bull replied, voice still a little coarse from the collar. 'And I could do with a strong drink.'

Shrokrakar came round Bull's bed and into view. 'Yeah you probably could, but you're not going to have one yet.'

Bull raised his eyebrow in a challenge, but Shro merely shook his head, amused.

'You need to recalibrate and alcohol will only get in the way.'

The man examined his patient, arms crossed.

'See anything you like?' Bull purred.

Shro shrugged. 'I can see why Adaar has a thing for you. She likes muscle-bound men.'

Bull felt a small territorial tremor at his words. The merc didn't miss a beat.

'It's not that like between us, big guy.'

'Good because even though I'm a bit… flayed… I could still give you a run for your money.'

'Ha! I'm sure you could. Anyway, it's not me you need to worry about – it's Kalak she's always had a soft spot for.'

'Kalak?' Bull asked, frowning at the mercenary's mischievous expression. He knew he was being teased but he felt too raw to resist. Who the fuck is Kalak?

'The big Avaar with the penchant for poisons,' Shrokrakar explained.

Bull narrowed his eyes and was about to probe the man for more information when there was a knock at the door.

'Ah that will be him now,' Shro announced. 'Here to challenge you to a fight for the maiden's affections no doubt.'

The bed-bound warrior knew he was joking, but growled and straightened as he opened the door -and let Kirah inside. Bull's heart swelled with joy to see her at last.

'Boss,' he called to her, or rather croaked.

Shro exited and closed the door softly behind him. Kirah inhaled and gave him a faint smile before sitting on a chair opposite the bed.

'I'm glad to see you're recovering from your punishment,' she said, not unkindly, but without her usual warmth.

'Yeah…' he replied, voice a hoarse whisper.

Kirah went to speak, but Bull raised a hand to stop her. 'I need you to know, I'm so sorry, kadan. I'm gonna apologise to Varric and Krem as soon as I'm on my feet and I'll do everything I can to make up for… everything.'

The Inquisitor blinked and then nodded. Bull continued. Even if she hated him now, he needed her to know that he was better.

'The punishment was… profound… and fitting. I feel better, boss. Not that I deserve it. So… I thank you… with all my heart.' He blinked and looked away, steeling himself to say his next few words. 'I realise things will have changed between us and I deeply regret…' Bull's voice broke. Shit.

Kirah exhaled slowly. 'Nothing has changed between us, kadan.'

Bull's heart panged at her words. 'What?' he croaked.

'I still care about you and I want to be with you,' she said simply. But when Bull's mouth opened and he tried to ask a question she held up her hand. 'But you need to understand that you can lean on me, tell me your fears. I won't break.'

The big Tal-Vashoth nodded as Kirah continued.

'Know that I will hurt you again if you start endangering people. And if you need a commitment, a doctrine to adhere to, let it be ours, or your own, whatever you need to anchor yourself. You don't need the Qun to be a good man, remember?'

Bull smiled faintly, his throat too thick with emotion to answer, and watched as his love rose from her chair and came to sit beside him on the bed. When she stroked his face tenderly, Bull couldn't help himself, grabbing her hand and pressing it to his scarred lips. But that wasn't enough so he pulled her down to lie in front of him so he could spoon her. His heart melted when she offered no resistance and positioned herself so her backward-pointing horns were either side of his neck. He kissed the top of her warm head, wrapped his unworthy arms around her and held her close, breathing her in.

'I love you, kadan,' he whispered into her hair.

'I love you too, you big idiot.'