Author's Note: Hiya everybody! So I just wanna say that this is my first (published) Hetalia fanfiction, and I am suuuuuper nervous! I'm pretty new to the fandom, so excuse me if I get anything wrong!
Words in italics either mean they aren't in English (warning: I used Google translate) or they are being emphasized.
In this story I'll be using both country names and human names, but mostly human names.
Uh, not much else to say except for this; there will be mentions of mpreg and implied mpreg, but no actual mpreg will be in the story (if that even makes sense?). So if that squicks you out, don't read this story! Also, rated M for Lovi's mouth (and Alfred's, and Arthur's, and Gilbert's, and some of the kids, and sometimes others. Pretty much everyone cusses at least once. Except like, Feliciano. Even Matthew cusses, like, holy crap you guys)
Pairings might be obvious, but will not officially be revealed until the second chapter :D
Oh, and I got the title from a Blink-182 song, so I don't own that. Or Hetalia. I own all of the kids though, so no touchy-touchy :P
I hope everyone enjoys, happy reading!
"Would you shut your trap, you bloody frog?!"
"Oh hon hon, Angleterre, you are just jealous of my good looks."
One of Arthur's eyes twitches in irritation. The brit opens his mouth to speak before snapping it shut again with a click. Instead of saying something in return, he just dives across the empty chair beside him and wraps his hands around Francis' neck. As Arthur chokes Francis, the Frenchman struggles to escape his grasp, pushing back against the smaller man while screaming.
"Black sheep of Europe!"
Not far from this little tussle is what seems to be a yelling contest between none other than Alfred and Ivan.
"Commie bastard!"
"Capitalist pig!"
"Filthy Russian!"
"Idiotic American!"
Alfred pushes against Ivan's chest, sending the taller man back a few feet, though he's still standing.
"I am not an idiot, you sonofabitch!" The blonde cries out indignantly.
Ivan, instead of giving any kind of reply, just chuckles darkly, giving the American his signature childish grin, walking back towards Alfred slowly with his pipe hanging loosely from his hand.
"Kol kol kol kol kol…"
At the end of the long meeting table, head in his hand, Ludwig lets out a long sigh. Beside him, Feliciano won't stop talking. But that's not unusual, so his headache doesn't escalate past what it's already at.
"Ve~ Luddy, when can we go home? I'm hungry and I want to go eat some pasta! And take a siesta! Can we go home now? Please? Please, please, please, please, pleeeeeeease?"
"Soon, Feliciano! There's not much time left anyways, so yes, we will be leaving soon. Now please, stop asking." The German man asked (not begging in the slightest, no not at all) the smaller man.
"Ve~ Okay Luddy!" Feliciano gives a large grin before looping his arm through Ludwig's and leaning against the larger man's thick shoulder, dozing off soon after.
Back near the door to the meeting room, Lovino is holding a chair in front of him, legs out, to keep away Antonio, who seems to be acting clingier than usual.
"Get the hell away from me, bastardo!" The feisty Italian yelled at the other man.
"But Loviiiii~ I just want a hug! Por favor?" Antonio asks, a grin on his face and his green eyes gleaming brightly. Lovino lowers the chair slightly in order to glare at the Spaniard.
"No! Stay the fuck away from me, Tonio! And how many times have I told you not to call me—CHIGI!"Antonio launches himself at Lovino while his guard is down and tackles the smaller male to the floor in a hug.
"Get off of me, idiota!"
"No." Antonio replies with a large, goofy grin as he snuggles closer to his Lovi on the floor of the meeting room.
"Oi, Liza, you know you want my five meters of awesome more than you want that lame Austrian pansy! C'mon, just say it! It's okay to admit it, no one will blame you! How could you resist such awesome, after all! Kesesesese!" Gilbert leans against the wall next to Elizabeta and Roderick, winking after he finishes speaking.
Elizabeta rolls her eyes and Roderick glares at the albino.
"Go. Away. Gilbert."
"Nien! I don't feel like it! Flirting with you and pissin' off Roddy are my two favorite pastimes! Aside from being awesome. Though, I suppose that's more of a way of life then a pastime, kesesesese!"
A loud banging noise fills the room shortly after Gilbert's exclamation.
"Ow!" The albino rubs the back of his head. "What was that for Liz?!"
"For being annoying! Now go away. I will hit you again Gilbert, I swear to God." Her hands rest on her hips, a frying pan dangling from her right hand.
Holding his hands up in surrender, Gilbert begins to back away.
"Okay, okay, I'll leave. Gott!" Gilbert walks back over to his seat beside his brother and slumps in his chair.
From where he sits beside his brother's vacant seat, Matthew witnesses it all. The fights between Arthur and Francis, and Alfred and Ivan, the dozing Feliciano and the fed up Ludwig. The flirting (if it can even be called that) between Gilbert and Elizabeta, and the, ahem, "snuggling" going on with Lovino and Antonio not ten feet from where the Canadian is sitting.
'This is soooooo boring!' The Canadian thought to himself. Then he thought for a moment and decided to say it out loud, "I. Am. So. Bored!" Of course, no one paid him any mind, and instead of the intense sadness Matthew used to feel, he only felt a small, bitter sting.
"Whatever…" He muttered to himself, gathering his things and standing from his seat, his brief case in his hand (he left Kuma-whats-it at home since the lazy bear had refused to wake up this morning) with the full intent to walk out of the meeting room and go home, "mandatory attendance" be damned.
Watching Gilbert flirt with Elizabeta was slowly killing Matthew inside. He's had a crush on the ex-nation since Francis first introduced them when Matthew was barley a knee high! Seeing Gilbert is half the reason why Matthew even comes to these damn meetings anymore. It's not like they do anything here. And even if they did, it's not like anyone would see Matt anyways. The sound of the door to the meeting room opening and closing signifies that Roderick and Elizabeta have left, making Matthew feel happier than he probably should. The room now only consists of himself and the nine other nations (well, eight nations and one ex-nation, if you want to get technical). Soon enough though, it well be one nation less, as Matthew readies himself to leave.
A strange noise captures Matthew's attention when he turns towards his exit.
"Eh…?"
Matthew looks up at the sudden sound of thunder and his violet eyes widen in surprise. At the center of the ceiling above him, a dark, swirling cloud appears. It gets larger and larger, and as it grows, Matthew looks around desperately, hoping someone else is seeing this!
A flash of lighting crashes down directly in front of the Canadian and Matthew exclaims loudly, finally drawing the attention of the others.
"Tabernac!" Loud yelps of surprise come from the other nations in the room as the meeting room fills with smoke.
"Mon Dieu!"
"Bloody hell!?"
"Da fuck?!"
"Holy Shit!"
"Dios Mio!"
"Was solls!?"
"Whoa, awesome!"
The smoke clears soon after the yelling has died down and what do the ten nations find?
"'Ello," says a young teen, no older than 15, with blonde hair tied in two pigtails that drape over her shoulders, stopping just above her collar bone. "We're your children from the future."
A large group of mysterious children, eleven in all, standing in the center of the room.
"Dude! Alice!" A young boy beside her yells out. "You can't just tell them! That's so lame!" This boy looks to be about the same age as the girl, possibly older. He has short hair, platinum blonde in color and light, purple colored eyes. An unruly tuft of hair sticks up from his head in what looks like an untamable cowlick.
The girl, Alice, glares at him, her eyes a bright green in color and as she's about to say something, another boy around their age steps up.
"What the hell does it matter, Niko? Might as well get it out of the way, you don't have to be such a fucking drama queen." This young man has hazel eyes and dark brown curls covering his head. He rolls his eyes as a young girl, younger than the other three, perhaps 13 or 14, stands beside him and gives a sweet smile.
"Don't be so mean, cugino! Didn't Zio tell you not to curse so much?" This girl has long, shoulder length blonde hair and hazel eyes not unlike those of her supposed older cousin.
The boy makes a dismissive noise and glares at his cousin. "Shut up, Claudia! What mio Papa can't hear can't hurt him, now can it?" When the girl opens her mouth to reply, another teen steps in between his four peers, separating the first two teens and prying apart the cousins.
"You guys, seriously! Enough! We have some explaining to do, don't you think? Plus, you're making the others uncomfortable." This new young man has silver hair and strange eyes; one a deep crimson and the other a soft violet color. He motions to a group of children, all significantly younger then the group of teens. Then, the silver-haired teen looks at the adults in the room and addresses all of them.
"You may want to sit down, eh?"
So everyone sits down, Alfred sitting between Ivan and Arthur, Francis on Arthur's right, Antonio beside him, followed by Lovino, Feliciano, Ludwig, Gilbert, and finally, not like anyone can see him anyway, Matthew. Who did not blush when the strange mystery children sat him down beside Gilbert.
"Okay, so. First, we'll start with introductions. Those are easy enough, oui?" The silver-haired boy looks around the room at the ten adults, all the other nations having left much earlier in the meeting before the kids showed up.
Some of the nations nod dumbly, while other's just gape at the children.
"Ooo-kay." The boy looks uneasy, but he nods to one of his peers, the loud boy from earlier with the pale blonde hair.
"Alright! I'll go first! Hey dudes, I'm Nikolai! I'm 16, too, which makes me the oldest!" The boy now identified as Nikolai motions to a small girl with long, straight hair beside him. Her hair is pulled back in a head band and a darker blonde then Nikolai's hair. She has bright, blue eyes, but she doesn't smile as she introduces herself.
"Привет," she begins in a monotone voice. "I am Anya. I am 9. This is my big brother." She grabs Nikolai's hand and hides behind him slightly. Her brother chuckles.
"Don't mind her, dudes, she's just a little shy!" He smiles at the adults before leading his sister over to a group of chairs off to the side to sit and wait as the others introduce themselves.
The blonde girl who spoke when the children first arrived steps up next, a younger girl with wavy hair that goes slightly past her chin beside her. The older of the two clears her throat.
"Well. Hello then. I'm Alice, I'm 15, and this," she motions to the girl beside her, "is my younger sister—"
"Alice! I can do it myself!" The younger girl whines, stomping her foot and crossing her arms while she pouts.
"Well go on then, you little twit! I'm just trying to bloody help." Alice mumbles. Her sister brightens considerably and smiles at her small audience, her clear blue eyes twinkling.
"Bonjour, I am Jeanne! Oh, and I'm 9, which means I won't get wrinkles nearly as soon as my sister, what with all her frowning and those huge eyebrows sagging her skin!" The girl gives a dazzling smile while her sister fumes beside her.
"Why you-!" The silver-haired boy pushes both girls over to where Niko and Anya sit.
"Right, thanks guys! Zio, you go next, eh." The boy addresses the curly haired boy, who rolls his eyes while mumbling.
"Don't call me that, bastardo…" He stomps up to stand in front of the nations, a small, happy looking boy standing next to him.
The teen heaves a sigh.
"Ciao. I'm Ezio. I'm 16." Ezio glares over at Niko while he states, "And I'm the oldest, not that vodka-drinking-gun-toting-bastard!"
Niko gives an indignant cry of 'Hey!' from the other side of the room.
"Hola!" The small boy beside Ezio greets, bouncing on the balls of his feet and giving the crowd in front of him a large grin that makes his bright green eyes crinkle. "I'm Giovanni, but you can just call me Gio! Or Vanni, but I really prefer Gio, and anyways, this is mi hermano Ezio, oh and did I mention that I just turned 7 last month, because I did, and mis padres threw me a great party! I even had a tomato piñata and a—"
Ezio rolls his hazel eyes as his little brother rambles on. He picks his brother up and carries him over to the side with the others, Gio still talking in his ear the entire time.
"It's our turn fratellino! Come on!" The young blonde girl drags a small, stoic looking boy in front of the still-gaping adults.
"Hallo! I'm Claudia, I'm 14, and this little cutie is mio fratellino, Kurt! Kurt, say hello!" She flips her hair over her shoulder and nudges her brother in front of her.
"Ciao. I'm Kurt. I'm 6." Kurt has blonde hair and crystal blue eyes, but a tight expression on his face that makes him seem older than he is.
Claudia giggles and steers her brother to where the majority of the children now sit. Only three children are left, so the silver-haired boy steps forward, a young boy beside him and an even smaller boy clinging to the teen's hand.
"Bonjour, I'm Dominic, and I'm 15. These are meine kleinen Bruder." Dominic steps back slightly so the brother that isn't clinging to his hand can introduce himself.
"Ja, hallo. I'm Collin, and I'll be 11 in like, two weeks, which is awesome!" Collin gave a large grin that reached his violet colored eyes. Dominic ruffled his brother's short, wavy blonde hair and smiled.
"We get it, Col, you're awesome, blah blah blah."
The ten-year-old gasped.
"Blasphemy! If vati heard you say that, you'd be in so much trouble, frere!"
"Ja, ja, Col. Technically, vati did hear me say that."
A pause, before Collin whispers "Whoa… Awesome." And behind them, Niko makes a motion with his hands like an explosion around his head while he exclaims loudly "Mind equals blown, dude!"
Dominic chuckles before picking up his littlest brother.
"This," the teen begins, "is Fredrick. Wanna say 'hi' to everyone Fred?"
The little boy nods timidly before giving a small wave, his crimson eyes wide as he takes in everyone that's sitting in front of him.
Just as Dominic is about to lead his brothers over to where the others are sitting, a voice speaks up.
"How old is he?" Dominic turns to look at who has spoken and is greeted with the gentle smile of Matthew.
"He'll be 4 in a few months." Matthew nods at the information, his smile still present. Then, Dominic addresses the room at large.
"Any other questions?" He asks.
Alfred's hand shoots up into the air before he stands up and blurts out the question that's been on everyone's mind.
"So, how do we know which kids belong to who?"
Author's Note: Okay, I hope everyone liked it, and I hope it wasn't too confusing! The next chapter will be the nations finding out which kids are there's and there reactions towards them! After everything is sorted out and less confusing, we'll find out why these mysterious children are in the past in the first place, who sent them, and how.
Before I leave, I'm not sure how the kids should go about telling their parents who's kids are who's, so if anyone has an idea for how they'd like it to happen, like have all the nations guess, have a little competition, or a game to figure it out, then feel free to put it in a comment and I'll pick which one sounds the most awesome! Also, if you're confused on anything feel free to ask in a comment or PM me!
Fav, follow, review, please! It would mean a lot :D
Until the next chapter, everyone! Tatty bye ^.~
- Enforcer4
Translations (in order of appearance):
Angleterre (French) - England
siesta (Spanish) - nap
bastardo (Italian) - bastard
Por favor (Spanish) - Please
idiota (Italian) - idiot
Nien (German) - No
Gott (German) - God
Tabernac (French Canadian slang) - Fuck
Mon Dieu (French) - My God
Dios Mio (Spanish) - My God
Was solls (German) - What the hell
cugino (Italian) - cousin
Zio (Italian) - Uncle
mio Papa (Italian) - my Dad
oui (French) - yes
Привет (Russian) - Hello
Bonjour (French) - Hello
Ciao (Italian) - Hello
Hola (Spanish) - Hello
mi hermano (Spanish)- my brother
mis padres (Spanish) - my parents
Hallo (German) - Hello
mio fratellino (Italian) - my little brother
meine kleinen Bruder (German) - my little brothers
Ja (German) - Yeah
vati (German) - Dad