Losing a patient was always hard. It didn't matter how much of a long shot saving them was, or how many people told you that you had done all you could do. The fact was, it wasn't enough. This was an attitude that you and Doctor McCoy shared. It was one that the two of you had discussed at length, and you agreed to never console each other with false sentiments.

This was only the second time you lost a patient since becoming McCoy's head nurse, but you knew what to expect. He took some of his anger out on you. Why didn't you work faster? Why didn't you pay more attention? How could you miss that bleeder? You knew, of course, that he was really blaming himself for all of these things.

You went back to your quarters after he told you to leave his office, and you weren't there long before there was a knock on your door.

"Come in," you said from your chair at the small table.

Leonard entered the room and the door slid shut behind him.

"I'm sorry," he said.

"It's okay."

"No, it's not. That was uncalled for."

You nodded and gave him a small smile, then pushed out the chair next to you. He walked over and sat.

"I need a drink," he said.

"You want some company in the rec room?"

"No, I mean a real drink," he said. He rubbed his fingers over his eyes.

You hesitated just a moment, wondering if you should admit to your contraband. You couldn't ignore the tension on his face.

"Are you on call tonight," you asked.

"No."

You walked over to a locked cabinet and removed a bottle of whiskey. You set it on the table along with two glasses, and Leonard's eyes widened.

"Where'd that come from?"

"Don't ask. You'll have plausible deniability. You want some?"

"You gotta ask?"

He grabbed a glass and held it up for you to pour. You filled each glass halfway, and began to walk back to the cabinet, but Leonard grabbed your arm.

"Where you going with that?"

"Putting it away."

"Nuh uh, darlin'. I'll need a refill."

You smiled as he took a sip, and you sat back down, placing the bottle back on the table. The two of you drank that first glass in silence, and you soon poured another. With just a few sips left, you held up your glass and stared at the dark liquid inside.

"I've never had more than one glass of this stuff."

Leonard downed what was left in his glass and grabbed the bottle. He filled his glass, then yours.

"First time for everything," he said.

"Hey," you said, "don't drink all my booze. I pull this out when I've had a bad day."

"Does it get any worse than today?"

You considered that. "Not usually."

You took a large gulp from your glass and watched Leonard do the same.

"It's getting warm in here," you said.

"That's the booze."

He poured himself another glass then stood with the bottle. You raised your glass toward him.

"Top me off," you said.

"No, I think that's it for you, light weight."

"I'm not drunk."

"No, but you're getting there. I'm a bit buzzed, myself."

He returned the bottle to your cabinet before joining you back at the table. You sipped at what was left in your glass. He downed half of his, then sipped the rest.

"You know, Leonard," you said, "I really enjoy working with you."

"Even when I yell at you?"

"Oh, please. I can count the number of times you've done that on one hand. And I never take it persoln... perslin..."

"Personally?"

"That's it."

"You sure you're not drunk?"

"You need me to walk a straight line?"

"I think you'd fail."

"I think you would, too."

Leonard laughed. "Probably."

"What would Jim say if he could see you drinking?"

"Jim saw me at my worst. Hell, I was drunk when I met him."

"I didn't know that."

Leonard hiccuped.

"Oh, and you think I'm drunk?"

"I'm not drunk. This happens when I don't drink for a while."

He hiccuped again, and you laughed. Another hiccup, and you laughed harder.

"It's not funny," Leonard said, but he was smiling.

Your laughter eventually infected him, and he was laughing with you, hiccups cutting through the laughter.

You turned in your chair to face him, and you pulled him forward.

"Hold your breath and put your head between your legs," you said.

He followed your instructions and you rubbed his back. He came up a moment later letting out a long breath.

"Better?"

He took a few breaths. "Better. Thanks."

He sat back in his chair. You stared at him as he took another drink, then licked his lips.

"When was the last time you were with a woman," you blurted out.

The question caught Leonard off guard, and you blushed a little.

"Sorry," you said. "That's personal."

"No, uh... To be honest, I had a few drunken mistakes after my divorce. No one since I joined Starfleet."

"Same here."

You took another sip and saw that you didn't have much left, so you knocked back the rest and drained your glass.

"Can I make a confession," you said.

"If you feel the need to."

You took a deep breath. "Sometimes I have a really strong urge to kiss you..."

Leonard looked up at you. His eyes connected with yours for a moment before they moved to your lips.

"You ever think about-"

"Yeah," he said, cutting you off.

"You ever think about doing anything about it?"

He drained his glass and sat it down with a thud. He turned in his chair and put a hand to your cheek as his lips met yours. The kiss was soft. His full lips caressed yours as he coaxed them open. His other hand joined the one holding your face to his, then they both slid down your neck and over your shoulders to your arms. Leonard stood from his chair, pulling you with him without breaking the kiss. You staggered a bit, and Leonard wrapped his arms around you to steady you. He may have been buzzed, but he felt rock steady. You slipped a hand beneath his shirt and grazed over his abdomen before he grabbed your wrist and pulled his lips from yours.

"Hang on, darlin'."

"What?"

"I think it's safe to say we're both feeling the whiskey right now. We should take a step back."

"Are you being a southern gentlemen, Doctor McCoy?"

"Don't know how to be anything else, sweetheart."

"You know, your accent is thicker when you drink. I like it," you said with a smile.

"Yeah. It comes out when I'm half asleep, too."

"I'll have to hear that sometime."

"I'd like that," he said as he took your chin between his thumb and forefinger. "When we're both sober."

"You afraid I'll be another drunken mistake?"

"No. I'm afraid I'll be the drunken mistake."

"I'm not drunk... and you could never be a mistake."

"If you can tell me that when you're sober, one hundred percent sober, then we'll do something about it."

"Sounds reasonable," you said.

"It's getting late," Leonard said. "I should head to my quarters."

"Can I at least get another kiss?"

Leonard smiled and leaned in to press a soft kiss to your lips. He slowly kissed to your cheek, then pulled away.

"Good night," he said.

"Good night."