Title: Man's Best Friend
Author: Steph ([email protected])
Category: Humor/bit of romantic drama
Pairing: Sydney/Vaughn
POV: Donovan, the dog
Spoilers: "Counteragent", "The Passage: Part 1"
Rating: PG
Archive: Sure, just let me know where.
Disclaimer: Alias and its characters do not belong to me. I do this out of a love for the show and no infringement is intended.
Summary: Vaughn confides his feelings about Sydney to man's best friend. Unfortunately, man's best friend couldn't care less. (Donovan POV)
Note: This is just a little story that I thought would be fun to write. Just a short thing. Hope you enjoy! ~Steph
* * * Man's Best Friend: Part 1/1 * * *
Oh, man, here he comes. I am NOT in the mood for this tonight. I haven't eaten since breakfast and I haven't been able to go to the bathroom all day. I really don't feel like listening to him talk about her now.
"Hey, how you doing?" he asks, as he walks by me and heads for the refrigerator.
I'm doing great. Just great. You?
He settles into 'his chair' and pops open a can of beer. He sighs and looks over at me. "Another tough day. They never seem to get any easier."
Geez, he says the same damn thing every night. This guy's a broken record.
He rubs at his eyes and takes a long swig from his can. Then he shakes his head and groans. "Things with Sydney are so weird right now. Our whole relationship seems different."
Sydney this. Sydney that. I swear, this chick better be hot the way he goes on and on about her. You'd never even know he has a girlfriend. You know, that whiny little Anne Heche look-a-like.
"She met Alice. I never told her that we got back together. I mean, when was I supposed to tell her? There was never a good time. So...I guess I let her assume I was a free man. Not that it mattered. It's not like we could be together either way."
Blah. Blah. Blah. Does he ever shut up?
He stands up and walks back into the kitchen. He opens the refrigerator again and pulls out a box of leftover pizza. He carries it back into the living room and settles down into the chair. I look up at him, giving him my best puppy-dog eyes, hoping he'll get the message.
Nothing. He starts filling his face and doesn't even notice my eyes or the fact that I am now drooling all over the floor.
Hello? Do you think you could pull yourself out of that perpetual state of self-pity for five seconds and give me some food? I'm dying over here.
He starts talking with his mouth full. Lovely. I bet he wouldn't do that if *she" were here. But I'm just a dog, so who cares if I have to look at his big mouth filled with masticated pizza.
"I guess I've always used Alice as an excuse. If I'm with Alice, then I have a better chance of resisting Sydney. After all, I'm a loyal, decent man. Everyone knows I keep my commitments. I couldn't cheat on Alice. So, I use her and she doesn't even know it. Yeah, I'm a real prince."
Groan.
"And today...God, it was so stupid. I showed Sydney my father's watch. Told her about setting your heart to it and how it stopped the day we met. I'm not even sure why I told her that. She must have thought I was crazy."
You are crazy. What a sentimental bunch of crap.
Who does he think he is? Hugh Grant in yet another cinematic masterpiece? Please, he could never pull a line like that off.
I mean, look at him. Pizza sauce all over his chin, cheese hanging off his lips. This guy is supposed to be charming?
"She said 'me too'. Me too? What does that mean exactly? Was she talking about Kendall beeping her? Or...that she feels the same way? And what way is that? I mean, I'm not even sure what I was saying by telling her about the watch thing. I just felt like I needed to say it. After the whole Alice thing, I felt like we'd lost something, like I'd lost a piece of her. I guess I just wanted her to know, without saying it in so many words, that I may be with Alice, but she's the one who has my heart. And if things were different...Well, then I wouldn't have to say things without really saying them."
Kill me. Kill me now. Someone beat me over the head with something hard.
I can't take this anymore. This guy's driving me nuts. Now he's talking in riddles. I don't even understand him anymore.
I bark to show my displeasure, but he only laughs. "You got something to say, boy?"
Yeah, get up off your skinny ass and give me some damn food!
He leans his head back in the chair and adopts a dreamy expression. "You'd like Sydney. She's smart, beautiful, brave. You two would get along well."
Yeah, I'm sure she's swell, but unless she's going to walk in here right now with a steak dangling from her precious neck, then I don't give a rat's ass.
Suddenly, he jumps up from the chair. "Oh, I almost forgot!"
Yes! The light goes on.
He heads into the kitchen again and returns rather quickly...Too quickly.
He's carrying a plate of leftover cheesy bread. I'm guessing that's not for me.
He sits back down and starts to devour it. Wow, look at him go.
So...I guess I should just gnaw off my own paw and start chomping on that. It'll be New Year's before this guy notices there's another living being on earth besides this Sydney gal.
Man, I wish that chubby guy was here right now. What was his name again? The one who came over to feed me when what's-his-face was out of town?
Wuss...Wise...Wess. Whatever.
The point is the man fed me and he fed me promptly. He was cool, too. None of this lovesick talk that Romeo's so fond of. Nope. He'd turn on the television and we'd watch Animal Planet. We even watched 'When Good Pets Go Bad' on Fox one time. I'm trying to recall some of the 'bad' things those pets did. They could come in handy soon.
He looks down at me and smiles. "You're lucky, Donovan. You know that? You're a dog. You've got no worries, no problems. No women troubles."
Yeah, life's peachy. I can't go to the bathroom when I want to and I'll probably starve to death. Not to mention the fact that that poodle down the street's been ignoring me ever since our little...shall we say...tryst.
"I just don't know how much more of this I can take. It's the same thing over and over again. We'll share a moment and then we'll be interrupted or one of us will break it, knowing that nothing can come of it. How long are we supposed to dance that dance before we can't stand it anymore?"
I've decided to take my mind off my hunger by entertaining myself. So, I'm now running around in circles, chasing my tail.
He laughs. "Yeah, that's about right. We're going around in circles."
Geez, this guy is self-absorbed. He thinks everything has to do with him. He didn't even notice my subtle cry for help.
I lay back down on the ground and place my head on my paws.
He looks down at me, "What's the matter, boy?"
What's this? Is he actually noticing me?
I try to make my eyes look sadder and whimper a bit.
"I've depressed you, haven't I?"
Oh, for the love of God! No, you haven't depressed me! I couldn't care less about your love life. I just want some damn food!
"Sorry, Donovan. It's just that you're the only one I can really talk to about Sydney. I can tell you that I love her and I know it'll stay between us."
Of course it'll stay between us! I'm a freakin' dog, for heaven's sake!
But make no mistake about it, buddy, if I ever acquire the gift of speech like that dog from those baked beans commercials, your secret is as good as out. I'm going straight to that Sydney chick and telling her everything. Sure, she'll probably be taken aback by a talking dog for a bit, but I'll eventually get through to her. Hell, if I could figure out how to do sign language without fingers and opposable thumbs, she'd know by now!
He sighs and then stands up. "You're probably hungry, aren't you?"
Nah, what gave you that idea?
He pats my head and heads for the kitchen again.
Thank you. Thank you. Thank you.
I hear him rummaging around in there and then I hear his cell phone ring.
Oh no...No, no, no. Nothing's ruining this for me.
The phone is sitting on the coffee table right near me. I don't think he's even heard it yet. I stand up and walk over to the table. I look at the phone with all its fancy buttons. Hmmm...looks tricky.
I lift my paw up and press it down on top of the phone. It stops ringing.
Yes! I did it!
It stops ringing, but it doesn't stop making sounds. I can hear a female voice.
"Vaughn? Are you there? Our connection must be bad. Anyway, I just wanted to tell you that...Well, before I leave, just in case anything should happen, I just wanted to make sure you understood what I meant when I said 'me too'. I thought about it afterwards and I realized it wasn't clear what I meant. What I meant is...that on October 1st my life changed forever. I didn't realize it then, but I know it now. It changed for the better that day."
She inhales deeply. "You don't have to say anything. There's really nothing to say. We both know that. I just...wanted you to know that I feel the same way and that if things were different...Well, let's just say that if things were different then I wouldn't be saying this over the phone. I may be strong, but I don't think I'd be strong enough to say that to your face and still be able to walk away." She pauses and then adds, "Anyway, I'll see you soon. Bye."
Wow. So, that was pretty much an admission of love. Too bad he didn't hear it.
He enters just as she stops talking and hangs up. I discreetly lift my paw and place it over the phone, hopefully turning it off.
Boy, did he miss a lot. I actually feel a little guilty. My selfishness made him miss the call...this admission from the woman he loves.
He walks over to me and places my dish of food in front of me. My eyes widen and my mouth starts watering. I immediately dig in.
Nothing can cure a bout of guilt like Purina Chow.
**************************************THE END************************************* Thanks for reading! Hope you enjoyed it and please let me know what you thought! ~Steph
Author: Steph ([email protected])
Category: Humor/bit of romantic drama
Pairing: Sydney/Vaughn
POV: Donovan, the dog
Spoilers: "Counteragent", "The Passage: Part 1"
Rating: PG
Archive: Sure, just let me know where.
Disclaimer: Alias and its characters do not belong to me. I do this out of a love for the show and no infringement is intended.
Summary: Vaughn confides his feelings about Sydney to man's best friend. Unfortunately, man's best friend couldn't care less. (Donovan POV)
Note: This is just a little story that I thought would be fun to write. Just a short thing. Hope you enjoy! ~Steph
* * * Man's Best Friend: Part 1/1 * * *
Oh, man, here he comes. I am NOT in the mood for this tonight. I haven't eaten since breakfast and I haven't been able to go to the bathroom all day. I really don't feel like listening to him talk about her now.
"Hey, how you doing?" he asks, as he walks by me and heads for the refrigerator.
I'm doing great. Just great. You?
He settles into 'his chair' and pops open a can of beer. He sighs and looks over at me. "Another tough day. They never seem to get any easier."
Geez, he says the same damn thing every night. This guy's a broken record.
He rubs at his eyes and takes a long swig from his can. Then he shakes his head and groans. "Things with Sydney are so weird right now. Our whole relationship seems different."
Sydney this. Sydney that. I swear, this chick better be hot the way he goes on and on about her. You'd never even know he has a girlfriend. You know, that whiny little Anne Heche look-a-like.
"She met Alice. I never told her that we got back together. I mean, when was I supposed to tell her? There was never a good time. So...I guess I let her assume I was a free man. Not that it mattered. It's not like we could be together either way."
Blah. Blah. Blah. Does he ever shut up?
He stands up and walks back into the kitchen. He opens the refrigerator again and pulls out a box of leftover pizza. He carries it back into the living room and settles down into the chair. I look up at him, giving him my best puppy-dog eyes, hoping he'll get the message.
Nothing. He starts filling his face and doesn't even notice my eyes or the fact that I am now drooling all over the floor.
Hello? Do you think you could pull yourself out of that perpetual state of self-pity for five seconds and give me some food? I'm dying over here.
He starts talking with his mouth full. Lovely. I bet he wouldn't do that if *she" were here. But I'm just a dog, so who cares if I have to look at his big mouth filled with masticated pizza.
"I guess I've always used Alice as an excuse. If I'm with Alice, then I have a better chance of resisting Sydney. After all, I'm a loyal, decent man. Everyone knows I keep my commitments. I couldn't cheat on Alice. So, I use her and she doesn't even know it. Yeah, I'm a real prince."
Groan.
"And today...God, it was so stupid. I showed Sydney my father's watch. Told her about setting your heart to it and how it stopped the day we met. I'm not even sure why I told her that. She must have thought I was crazy."
You are crazy. What a sentimental bunch of crap.
Who does he think he is? Hugh Grant in yet another cinematic masterpiece? Please, he could never pull a line like that off.
I mean, look at him. Pizza sauce all over his chin, cheese hanging off his lips. This guy is supposed to be charming?
"She said 'me too'. Me too? What does that mean exactly? Was she talking about Kendall beeping her? Or...that she feels the same way? And what way is that? I mean, I'm not even sure what I was saying by telling her about the watch thing. I just felt like I needed to say it. After the whole Alice thing, I felt like we'd lost something, like I'd lost a piece of her. I guess I just wanted her to know, without saying it in so many words, that I may be with Alice, but she's the one who has my heart. And if things were different...Well, then I wouldn't have to say things without really saying them."
Kill me. Kill me now. Someone beat me over the head with something hard.
I can't take this anymore. This guy's driving me nuts. Now he's talking in riddles. I don't even understand him anymore.
I bark to show my displeasure, but he only laughs. "You got something to say, boy?"
Yeah, get up off your skinny ass and give me some damn food!
He leans his head back in the chair and adopts a dreamy expression. "You'd like Sydney. She's smart, beautiful, brave. You two would get along well."
Yeah, I'm sure she's swell, but unless she's going to walk in here right now with a steak dangling from her precious neck, then I don't give a rat's ass.
Suddenly, he jumps up from the chair. "Oh, I almost forgot!"
Yes! The light goes on.
He heads into the kitchen again and returns rather quickly...Too quickly.
He's carrying a plate of leftover cheesy bread. I'm guessing that's not for me.
He sits back down and starts to devour it. Wow, look at him go.
So...I guess I should just gnaw off my own paw and start chomping on that. It'll be New Year's before this guy notices there's another living being on earth besides this Sydney gal.
Man, I wish that chubby guy was here right now. What was his name again? The one who came over to feed me when what's-his-face was out of town?
Wuss...Wise...Wess. Whatever.
The point is the man fed me and he fed me promptly. He was cool, too. None of this lovesick talk that Romeo's so fond of. Nope. He'd turn on the television and we'd watch Animal Planet. We even watched 'When Good Pets Go Bad' on Fox one time. I'm trying to recall some of the 'bad' things those pets did. They could come in handy soon.
He looks down at me and smiles. "You're lucky, Donovan. You know that? You're a dog. You've got no worries, no problems. No women troubles."
Yeah, life's peachy. I can't go to the bathroom when I want to and I'll probably starve to death. Not to mention the fact that that poodle down the street's been ignoring me ever since our little...shall we say...tryst.
"I just don't know how much more of this I can take. It's the same thing over and over again. We'll share a moment and then we'll be interrupted or one of us will break it, knowing that nothing can come of it. How long are we supposed to dance that dance before we can't stand it anymore?"
I've decided to take my mind off my hunger by entertaining myself. So, I'm now running around in circles, chasing my tail.
He laughs. "Yeah, that's about right. We're going around in circles."
Geez, this guy is self-absorbed. He thinks everything has to do with him. He didn't even notice my subtle cry for help.
I lay back down on the ground and place my head on my paws.
He looks down at me, "What's the matter, boy?"
What's this? Is he actually noticing me?
I try to make my eyes look sadder and whimper a bit.
"I've depressed you, haven't I?"
Oh, for the love of God! No, you haven't depressed me! I couldn't care less about your love life. I just want some damn food!
"Sorry, Donovan. It's just that you're the only one I can really talk to about Sydney. I can tell you that I love her and I know it'll stay between us."
Of course it'll stay between us! I'm a freakin' dog, for heaven's sake!
But make no mistake about it, buddy, if I ever acquire the gift of speech like that dog from those baked beans commercials, your secret is as good as out. I'm going straight to that Sydney chick and telling her everything. Sure, she'll probably be taken aback by a talking dog for a bit, but I'll eventually get through to her. Hell, if I could figure out how to do sign language without fingers and opposable thumbs, she'd know by now!
He sighs and then stands up. "You're probably hungry, aren't you?"
Nah, what gave you that idea?
He pats my head and heads for the kitchen again.
Thank you. Thank you. Thank you.
I hear him rummaging around in there and then I hear his cell phone ring.
Oh no...No, no, no. Nothing's ruining this for me.
The phone is sitting on the coffee table right near me. I don't think he's even heard it yet. I stand up and walk over to the table. I look at the phone with all its fancy buttons. Hmmm...looks tricky.
I lift my paw up and press it down on top of the phone. It stops ringing.
Yes! I did it!
It stops ringing, but it doesn't stop making sounds. I can hear a female voice.
"Vaughn? Are you there? Our connection must be bad. Anyway, I just wanted to tell you that...Well, before I leave, just in case anything should happen, I just wanted to make sure you understood what I meant when I said 'me too'. I thought about it afterwards and I realized it wasn't clear what I meant. What I meant is...that on October 1st my life changed forever. I didn't realize it then, but I know it now. It changed for the better that day."
She inhales deeply. "You don't have to say anything. There's really nothing to say. We both know that. I just...wanted you to know that I feel the same way and that if things were different...Well, let's just say that if things were different then I wouldn't be saying this over the phone. I may be strong, but I don't think I'd be strong enough to say that to your face and still be able to walk away." She pauses and then adds, "Anyway, I'll see you soon. Bye."
Wow. So, that was pretty much an admission of love. Too bad he didn't hear it.
He enters just as she stops talking and hangs up. I discreetly lift my paw and place it over the phone, hopefully turning it off.
Boy, did he miss a lot. I actually feel a little guilty. My selfishness made him miss the call...this admission from the woman he loves.
He walks over to me and places my dish of food in front of me. My eyes widen and my mouth starts watering. I immediately dig in.
Nothing can cure a bout of guilt like Purina Chow.
**************************************THE END************************************* Thanks for reading! Hope you enjoyed it and please let me know what you thought! ~Steph