Castiel was shaken out of a deep sleep by a bump in the road. He looked out the window but it was too dark to even guess their location. He turned slowly to what he could make of Dean's face hidden in the shadows. His jaw was tensed, like it always was when he was powering through exhaustion. He immediately glanced at Cas and smiled gently:

"Next exit's our, honey. Home sweet home."

It wasn't sweet, not at that time of night, the bleariness of a sleeping town seeping through, but it was a relief. Dean needed rest. They both needed space. Not from each other, so much as from the confine of the car. The thought reminded him that he now owned his car back. It was just behind them, parking next to the apartment with a screech. They were home.

Sam didn't want a drink or anything else than a lift, so Castiel took on himself to take their luggage inside while the brothers drove away. He was feeling uncomfortable, annoyed at the lights, his body demanding sleep, but his mind too alert for it to happen. Plus he would wait for Dean.

So he dug through his stuff till he found the books they had bought together such a long time ago. Or maybe just two weeks before. Before. When he was still married. He sat on the bed as a single man. Or as single as he could be when Dean was his whole life already. He shook his head and changed for the night, or at least what was left of it. They both had to work the next day, which was going to involve a lot of coffee.

He was so engrossed in the story he was reading that it took a kiss on the temple to make him realize that Dean was there. He finished the sentence and turned around to find his boyfriend already lying down with his eyes closed.

He returned the kiss wordlessly.

It was strange being back at work. He would give his two weeks notice some time in the future, that was now certain, so his manager and coworkers being happy to see him back felt like he was cheating. Work had piled up, though, which helped occupy him thoroughly.

In the evening, he kept on working, this time on the catering business paperwork and plans. Dean had pretended to be interested up until the financial part had come up. Castiel preferred to be on his own, anyway, he was more efficient. A nice dinner generally appeared after a while, taking him back to the real world, and he made a point to spend the rest of the evening enjoying Dean's company.

They were adjusting to the new reality. Castiel was free, he was wealthy, as his bank account showed. Hannah and Michael had apparently decided they did not want to deal with him anymore so three thousand dollars had been added to the already indecent amount he had received after the trial. These required plans as well, along with a joint account, which was hard to negotiate.

"We're not married, honey. You're your own man, now, remember?"

"This is an absurd statement and you know it, Dean. We're living together, have acknowledged the depth of our attachment and are happy."

"Well, couples break up. As you do know."

"In that case, no couples should ever exist, because the risk is always present for anyone. I wish to think that we will last. It worries me that you do not think the same."

Dean didn't answer. His sigh was telling, though. Castiel took a deep breath to even himself and asked as gently as he could:

"Is this bringing back bad memories?"

"Yeah... No... It's not about that, really..."

There was a pause. Castiel waited, being careful to let Dean open up. It was important now that he got to know him as well as he could. Then, he finally heard:

"I kind of... learned to count only on myself. Sam too, of course, but he was a child. I want you to have options because..."

He was so beautiful when he dared talk about himself, that Castiel wanted to hug him and never let go. But he knew not to.

"... because then I know you really wanna stay, you know, with me. Not because it would be too complicated to leave. My dad walked out on me when Sam became an adult. I think he wanted to before but he felt obligated."

"All right, I get what you are saying. My mind does not work that way, so we shall have to find a way that fits us both."

"Or I could get over it. It's mostly anxiety, I guess. I love you, I want you with me, always. Maybe in a bigger place?"

In the end, they sold Dean's apartment even though they didn't really need the extra money, because Dean wanted to contribute.

"But, Dean, you could rent it, it would make an extra income."

"Yeah, but also lots of extra work when something go wrong, and, well.."

Castiel had learned. He waited, his fingers stroking Dean's hand slowly. There was the telling sigh, just before the truth of the matter:

"I want to feel I'm contributing... You have all this trial money, and I feel..."

"Kept?"

Dean answered with a glare, but the discussion was helpful. They had found a little house, just outside of town, with an enormous kitchen, built when the place had been turned into a B&B, for Castiel to use for his catering business. Some handy work was needed, so Dean could find ways to be useful, even buy extra tools (Cas was working on a Christmas gift that included a tool belt), and mostly, it had charm. There was a chimney to sit next to in winter, and a small garden that could be left in its present wild state, and even an extra bedroom for visitors, although it hadn't been used yet. All of their friends and family lived nearby, at least the one that counted.

The future felt real. They had started a new page, a new book, even. Sometimes, it was almost as quiet as the one he had left, but he was planning to change that. Dean had read that guinea pigs made good company for rabbits and planned to grow a little herb garden. He could also build a comfortable cage when the two new family additions could "cozy it up".

"I am sure they'll both be "comfy" in their new home, Dean." Cas answered.

And he wasn't talking about the animals.