Narrator: Mystery? What, you fancy yourself the next writer of Sherlock Holmes?

No. I do see myself punching your face!

"Every society gets the kind of criminal it deserves. What is also true is that every community gets the kind of law enforcement it insists on."

John F. Kennedy, 35th President of the U.S.A.

"Crap, my light ain't working."

"Do you have to always be smoking one of those?" Sitting in a dimly lit office filled with stacks of papers, fast food wrappers, and photos, were Lucina and Greninja, with the former trying to light a cigarette. "It's called routine. I smoke and be the bad cop, you do whatever ninja frogs do and be good cop. Capiche?" Suddenly, the door burst open, and Link walked in carrying a folder. "Three prostitutes dead. I put you on the case, and what happens? You just sit on you asses and do nothing. Care to give me a reason why?"

Greninja opened her mouth to answer, but got cut off by Lucina. "Yeah. A real simple one. We ain't gotten anywhere except for finding a piece of unknown metal. We've been waiting all day for the results from the lab in Erivaville, since your cheap ass won't put in the request for some new machines. Got a light?" Link, slightly miffed at the cheap ass mark, replied, "No, I don't. We aren't all smokaholics like you."

Then, Pit walked in with a sheet of paper in hand. "Okay, the report says metal was made from a kind of rare polymer that turns sharper than steel when electrocuted." "Now see here, Mr. Sherrif, I do believe I heard progress being made." Greninja gave her a look that said Stop poking the bear before he eats us! Greninja turned to the angel. "Got any suspects Pit?" "Go to the Soothing Ocarina. Some of the girls there know Lightning Magic for protection. Not to mention the serious competition there between them." "Zelda's place? That can't be right." "Well Link, suppose we'll find out." Lucina and Greninja stood up and headed out the door after Lucina grabbed her coat and gun. "Oh and Link?" "What?" "The sound you're thinking of is Cha-ching!"

It was raining, just like every other day that week. "Well crap. They're goes any chance of having a smoke." "Thank god. I hate riding with you when there's smoke everywhere." The two were heading to a cobalt colored Mustang with a Police Badge and S.V.P.D. on the side in gold. "Damn it Greninja, you were supposed to throw away that pizza box!" "I was busy!" Grumbling, Lucina threw the box at Link's office window, then started the car and drove off.

The Soothing Ocarina was a strip club. You could notice it the second you walked in. Flashing lights, poles, and scantily clad girls were everywhere. Lucina just walked to the bar, tended by none other than the owner, the lovely Zelda. "Ah, Lucina! Greninja too! How are you? Please, sit!" "Thanks. So, how buisness?" "Well, we lost Zini. Girls feel lost without her. She was their representative and best friend." "Anyone hate her?" "Oh no, definitely not hate. Disagree, maybe, but not enough to kill!" "Got some names? And, while you're at it, any of them know Thunder Magic?" "Hmm. Only two, really. Even then, only one's good at it." "Who?" "Robin."

"Cahm on, girliiiiie. I paid good moneih for ya'!" Robin was trying to read a book in the curtained off area, when this drunk prick came in. Suddenly the curtain pulled back to reveal Lucina. "Okay Ganondorf. I'm gonna need you to piss off. I need to talk with her." "F-Fook ye! I pays fah hah. Aldauh, ye ain't tu bud on me eyes." BAM! Ganondorf was on the ground in pain faster than Robin could blink. Lucina eye was twitching slightly, and she seemed to be saying "Don't kick him while he's down.", over and over. Robin, willing to keep her from getting a assault charge, said,"So, how can I help you?"

"Know her?" Lucina had calmed down and left Zelda's with Robin, and they were now in the questioning room at the station. Greninja and Pit stood behind the one-way glass, listening to the conversation. "Bet you she uses the 'Gentle Bear.'" "Pit, you know how she handles those kinds of girls, even ones like Robin. I bet the 'German Shepard' for three bucks." "And Mr. Angenelli raises you by five." "Look! Just spit it out! I don't need you to sugarcoat it. I know I'm the prime suspect!" "Okay! You don't have to shout! Yes, and until we find out otherwise, you may not be able to leave." "Fine. You can go grab my paycheck, while I rot in this pit."

"Well, she's pissed." "No shit." Greninja, Pit, and Lucina were all in the break room. "If she did it, she's in serious need of an acting agent. Oh, by the way, you two, pony up." Pit sighed, before handing Lucina the cash. "Of everything you could've gone with, you chose the 'Gentle Tortoise.'" "Well, it's a great starter, that's for sure." Suddenly Little Mac rushed in, yelling, "We've got another body!" Lucina and Co. jumped up from their seats. "Where?" "The Soothing Ocarina!"

DUNDUNDUN! Who's ready for my first go at Mystery?

Narrator: NO ONE CARES!

SCREW YOU!

Narrator: SCREW YOU TOO AND YOU WILL REVIEW!

GETTING MY GUN!