DISCLAIMER: The 100 belongs to the CW Network, There is no intended copyright infringement.

Note: Hey everyone, I know it's been awhile, sorry about that I was finishing school (YES!) so now I have more time. Also, I know the season is long-since over but I still plan to finish this story and then continue on. This short chapter will be followed very soon by more, hopefully longer ones. Anyways, enjoy!

Chapter 14:
Moving On

Grave men, near death, who see with blinding sight
Blind eyes could blaze like meteors and be gay,
Rage, rage against the dying of the light." - Dylan Thomas, Do Not Go Gentle Into That Good Night

The world was silent. The forest was quiet in a respectful bow. The wind churned the air just enough to make loose strands of hair flutter slightly, not enough to move leather coats, and so the thousands of grounders all gathered shoulder to shoulder in a large circle stood with no movement placed on their bodies, stilled by the pain before them. The world was silent, but for the gently crackles of flame and fire and the wispy soft plume of smoke billowing into the sky, splayed out and far reaching above the forest, engulfing it into a thin darkness that was still new enough to let light seep through, but thick enough to keep the comforting sun from warming bare necks.

The forest itself was still, not daring to move or twitch or even whisper. It dared not let leaves rustle in the same breeze that had stilled itself in respect. The creatures of the forest dared not hunt should their prey cry out in shock or fear or pain at the chase, or the bitter end of one. And those commonly preyed upon took no advantage of their predators' respectful halt, for they did not scavenge and go about their tasks themselves. All the forest sat uneasily and watched as 250 of it's inhabitants passed on to the next life.

Lexa's thick black leather coat sat heavy and still on her, weighing down her shoulders and draping down along her legs. Her hair was in the most elegant and powerful dreads ever worn, which were pulled back and tied together so as to allow her entire face to be exposed to the world. Her cheeks held a slight pink tint to them, as did the tips of her ears and fingers. The wind was dead but the air was just cold enough to color her. Lexa's mouth was held gently shut, forming a thin line that gave nothing away. Her eyes sat sullen and lost on her face, two dark green circles dulled by the darkening sky above them.

Those eyes were surrounded by war paint, deadly and menacing, and mournful and remembering. Every grounder there wore the paint on their faces to honor the battles those who died had fought valiantly in, and the battles to come to be fought on their behalf. Every grounder wore the war paint, and so did Clarke.

She stood there next to Lexa, and felt the stoic grounder's emotion and pain let free to roam the field of the burning dead, let free to brush Clarke's cheek and make her blush as her mind drifted for a minute to the kiss. To the taste of the gorgeous woman's mouth, and to what she imagined her tongue would be like to lick.

No, stop. She can't. She shouldn't. You shouldn't.

Suddenly Clarke was overcome with guilt as she realized, even just for a moment, she had let her mind drift from those who had died.

Died because of her.

Clarke's mind fought desperately to be without thought and for a long time she stood there in need of something to distract her, to get her to focus.

After a while, when the shrouds that were wrapped around the dead became dark, blackened by ash, when the smoke no longer rose heavy and dense, but rather lingered higher in the sky, spread out and draped over the forest canopy, a quilt sewn from evaporating souls whisked away by the stagnant and just flowing wind, a distraction came to get Clarke focused, though the focus was not on what she hoped for.

Lexa began to hum quietly under her breathe, the sounds only just audible to those immediately surrounding her, and only for just a minute as the sound was snagged away by the air around them, cast off to drift aimlessly among the souls rising in the smoke, desperate to find a peace they could not in the world of the living. The hum was a beautiful melody that poured from her lips as powerful as a rushing river and as pained as a seeping wound.

Clarke heard this and watched Lexa for a while, as she hummed. Watched her eyes, deep and wide and glowing with life yet rimmed with death just barely repressed enough to not leak out in a rolling drop down her cheek, repressed to gloss her eyes and keep them from focusing on the world around them.

She studied Lexa, examined her, every part of her, how she stood, stoic and guarded and hidden to the world yet raw and scared to Clarke. Admitting to Clarke. Clarke's eyes drifted down to Lexa's hand by her side, hanging there loosely on her arm as though a gently breath wouldn't make it sway but rather depart from it's body and fall to the floor. Clarke shifted her weight so that her shoulder brushed Lexa's and she heard the breath wisp out of Lexa quickly and quietly, forcing the rhythmic hum to stutter and break it's soothing pattern for but a moment, before it continued, shaky and uncertain.

Clarke's eyes drifted across the sea of fire and smoke and her arm hung at her side, next to Lexa's. First her knuckles brushed the grounder's, causing them to flicker at the touch, and they flicked up softly and her fingertips grazed Clarke's, sliding across them, feeling the waving groves that made her fingerprints unique. Clarke's fingers responded, and soon their fingers were dancing amongst foreign touch. Fingers interlocked and palm pressed against palm. Lexa's breath steadied, her heart slowed, her mind calmed. Clarke's mind raced, her heart sped up, her breath wavered. Lexa noticed and squeezed slightly, and Clarke felt her lungs close off and refuse to accept more air at the pressure her hand felt. Lexa tilted her head slightly and spoke in the softest whisper ever to slide through the air of that forest,

"Thank you, Clarke. Thank you."

Clarke nodded and after a long period of silence and after Lexa's head tilted back towards the pyres again, Clarke responded,

"Thank you, Lexa."

They both found themselves scanning the faces all around them in search of anyone noticing their hands held tight, but no one did, or no one cared. And so, satisfied with the comfort they were receiving and likewise able to give, they stood there, hands held, until the last of the smoke stopped rising, until the last of the souls stopped passing, until the last of the mourners stopped watching. The two girls forgot all about the world and just stood, side by side, hand in hand, long after all others had returned to reality. After a while their hands loosened, their fingers slide off the other's, and their shoulders leaned away. Without another word, or glance, or another touch, Clarke turned and gently walked away, and Lexa listened as she went to her boots padding heavily in the soft dirt of the forest floor.

My forest.

Lexa stood until the sun began to retreat and give way to the dominance of the moon. Once the sun was but an orange glow on the horizon hidden by trees, she turned and walked away.

Long after the sun had settled for the night, after the entire grounder army was gently breathing steady, sleeping breaths, even after Clarke had found a way to quiet her thoughts and find rest, Lexa laid in her bed awake and with a racing mind. Her mind was racing with thoughts not about the dead, or the pain or the sorrow that seemed to engulf her life, but rather the one thing that has made her feel a feeling so foreign to her she almost forgot it existed. A feeling she hadn't felt for a long, long time.

Joy.

Ugh. That's such a gross and mushy word. I like other words better. Blood. Yes, blood is a good word. Sword. Blade. Dagger.

She began rattling off words in an attempt to get her mind elsewhere, but it proved far more difficult than she hoped.

...Orders, lead, commands... Commander.

She stalled.

Commander. No. I don't like that word. All it does is bring me difficult decisions that always lead to more of the dead and less of the living. There is only one time I've ever liked that word, and that was when...

Again she stalled as she realized what she almost admitted. Her mind danced around the memory of when she first met Clarke and had been taken aback by the sky girl's breathtaking beauty. And when Clarke had first spoken to her, addressed her, called her Commander. It had make Lexa's heart skip a beat then, and it made her heart skip two now.

And that was it. Lexa gave in to her thoughts and began remembering the kiss. How Clarke's cheeks had felt flush and warm in her hands. How her lips had tasted as Lexa's slid across them. How much Lexa wished they hadn't been interrupted so she could have explored more of Clarke, of her mouth, her tongue, and perhaps even more than just that. She wondered if Clarke had any weak spots. If she could make Clarke gasp by sucking on her neck, or if she could make it hard for the blonde girl to breathe if she moved further down, to her chest, or beyond her waist.

The Grounder found herself short of breath as she got excited at the thought of Clarke at her mercy in such a way, at the thought of what Clarke would sound like if she was brought to bliss.

But then Lexa's thoughts darkened and she grew worried. She knew what her feelings were, she had known for a while and she knew now there was no denying or hiding from them, that game was over. She had admitted those feelings and now she grew scared for what this meant. What would happen if she allowed herself to give in fully, if she allowed herself to persue Clarke and even become one with her.

Clarke shares my feelings, I can no longer pretend she doesn't and use that as an excuse, and nor can she. The way she kissed me back...

Her mind drifted and her breath began to grow short again before she snapped to.

No, stop. Clarke could get hurt. If anyone knew, she would become a target. More than she is now. I could get hurt. Clarke is what I want. I know this, but this world is not kind to me. I don't think I could handle it if I got her, if I got what I wanted, only to have it ripped away from me again.

Like Costia.

She continued thinking in this fashion, worrying and fretting and then slipping into need and desire at times so powerful her body arched slightly in her bed as she fought to not succumb. And after a long while she began to lose focus, her eyes began to blur and her eyelids began to droop. As they fluttered in a fight to stay open something she never expect to happen did. Lexa's mind drifted to Costia, but with the thoughts there was significantly less pain. There was saddness, but her heart did not shatter. In a panic she tried to recall Costia's sweet scent, but she couldn't. All she could remember was that it made her feel good, like smelling it would instantly bring her to ease,

It's just like when I can smell Clar-

And suddenly she realized that everything about Costia which brought her joy was but a distant memory now, one finally let go in favor of another. In favor of Clarke.

Lexa's eyes wavered and shut. Her chest rose and fell calmly as she slipped into sleep. Her thoughts began to become one with her dreams, her mind began to fade from reality.

"It's okay. Do not fear, you are not forgetting me," The voice is melodic and bittersweet

"I'm so sorry... so sorry, I tried, Costia I tried so hard to push this away..."

"No, don't do that. Not to yourself. Not to me. I can't be what holds you from feeling again"

"I can't let you go"

"You must"

"Why?"

"Because," Costia's face, in all of its beauty, appears before Lexa one last time, "It is time for me to go"

"What will I do without you?"

"You've been doing fine so far, I have to let you grow up some time after all"

They both chuckle

Lexa missed Costia's banter

"Shut up," She smiles

Costia laughs. It fills Lexa's heart as it slides through the air

It's just like Clarke's laugh, pretty and warm

Costia smiles

"Let yourself be happy, for me, and for yourself"

Lexa breathes in a deep, long, shaky breath

"Okay"

"Yeah. Yeah, you'll be alright"

"Thank you... I love you"

"And I you. Goodbye, Lex"

"Goodbye, Cos. Goodbye..."

I hope everyone enjoyed and sorry it took so long to continue. As always reviews are appreciated, I'll see you all soon!