This is based on a post from the OTP Prompts on Tumblr.

Imagine person A trying eating a banana while person B pesters them with sexual innuendos. Fed up, A violently bites into the banana and throws the peel on the ground, grinding it under their heel, while B stares in horror.

Disclaimer: I don't own Kuroko no Basuke or any of the characters.

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"Mm, that's right. Take more of it in your mouth, baby."

Taiga glanced at his boyfriend and felt an undenying urge to break the stupid fuck's face on the kichen table. However, he contained it. He kept pretending that he was reading the sport's magazine in his hand, while chewing his breakfast with unnessary zeal. Daiki was such an idiot. Such an annoying, perverted idiot. And although they had been together for quite a while, Taiga still wasn't used to all that idiocy. Especially when Daiki unleashed it first thing in the morning. Taiga wasn't a morning person and having Daiki's teasing as he was eating his breakfast banana was too much. He just wanted to have his meal at ease, without a stupid idiot throwing sexual innuendos about the innocent but phallic-shaped fruit that entered his mouth every once in a while.

Daiki, however, was relentless. The blunet licked his lips and eyed him with his dark blue eyes. "Aw c'mon babe. Suck it in a little sexier."

"Screw you, Daiki."

"I'd love to. You wannit now?"

Russet eyes rolled in indignation but Taiga didn't say anything. He simply turned the page of his magazine and took another bite of the sweet, pliant fruit. Just ignore him, he reminded himself, He'll get tired of it soon.

Hah. No such luck. A husky hum left Daiki's lips, oiling Taiga's inner fire further. "Shit, does it fit well?"

Taiga felt his eyebrow tick. Ignore him. Ignore him.

"You look so beautiful," the blue-haired man continued with his drawling voice, "With things in your mouth, I mean... I wonder how many of these I can fit in there..."

"Daiki!", Taiga mumbled around the mouthful. He swallowed and glared at his man heatedy. "Quit this!"

"Yer just mad because you want my dick in your mouth instead of that thing."

Something in Taiga's head snapped. That's enough. What Daiki had just claimed so arrogantly was the cherry on top of the shit cake. The red-haired man jumped to his feet so abruptly that his chair fell on the floor with a loud thud, and before Daiki had a chance to say or do anything, Taiga threw the peel of the finished banana on the ground, stomping on with unhealthy hatred, as if it had killer his mother. It wasn't the fruit he was mad at though; all this anger was directed towards the blue-haired idiot sitting next to him and staring at him with wide, shocked eyes. Taiga also made sure that their gazes stayed locked throughout the thorough mutilation of the banana peel, enjoying the slowly arising terror in Daiki's blue eyes more than he should have.

Serves you right, you motherfucker.

The redhead stomped on the poor remnants some more before he bared his teeth in a sneer. "Next time I hear dick innuendos about me eating a fucking banana, this-" He pointed at the murdered peel on the floor. "-Will be your dick."

Daiki wasn't even breathing when he uttered, "Babe, don't be so harsh... I was just teasing you."

"Next time, don't tease me in the morning then," the redhead hissed, "Are we clear?"

The blue head nodded furiously. "Crystal, sir."

"Good."

Taiga held his boyfriend's terrified gaze a little more, just for the sake of self-satisfaction, before he grunted and walked out of the kitchen. He had to go to work soon after all. But before he left, he went back to the kitchen, mentally chuckling when he saw Daiki still frozen and staring at the peel on the floor, horror written all over his face. "Oi!", he growled and Daiki jumped in astonishment, "Clean this up."

Daiki frowned at that. "But you did it!"

That son of a bitch had a lot of guts. Taiga felt his face harden. Thankfully, Daiki realized in what position he was in because his shoulders tensed and a nervous chuckle left his throat. "I'm kidding! Of course I'll do it!"

The redhead's face broke into a genuine smile and he leaned in to kiss his boyfriend's forehead. Okay, he should let the blunet off the hook. After all, he loved that idiot with every cell of his body. Even with the dick jokes. And maybe he got a little too angry about it. "Calm down, baby," he whispered, "I promise I won't stomp on your dick like this. I love your dick."

A big grin took over Daiki's lips after a while of confused silence. Taiga felt a hand run up and down his thigh in a suggestive manner. "Mm, so you were just playing hard to get?"

"No, not really," Kagami said with an earnest grin, "I was indeed angry. You of all should know that you shouldn't mess with me in the morning."

Daiki pouted. "But I couldn't stop myself. Plus, it's been a while since you did it..."

A smirk lifted Taiga's mouth upwards as a devious idea that would have Daiki at the edge of his seat the whole day came to mind. "If you promise to clean the house today, I will suck your dick for real when I come home tonight."

As expected, Daiki's blue eyes brightened up immediately. "I promise," he blurted almost instictively.

The redhead smiled and pecked his lover's lips once again before he pulled away to leave. He knew that it was a bad thing to take advantage of his conditioned boyfriend but he couldn't really help himself. "That's a good boy," he said, "I'll see you later." And with that, he started walking towards the door.

Four... Three... Two-

"Oi, Taiga!", Daiki shouted after him, "When are you coming back?!"

Taiga laughed out loud as he closed the door behind him, however, he was able to hear Daiki's holler, even through the closed door.

"OI! TAIGA!"

Ah, he loved his life.

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Holy crap, I needed this in my life. Don't touch me, don't even try to undestand me. From the moment I saw this prompt, AoKaga stuck to my head and there's nothing you can do to change my mind. Thanks for reading, beauties :)

Queen.