This is a story that I have been kicking around in my head for some time and I finally decided to record it in a word document, just to see where it would take me. Well, the majority of this story is complete now, so my updates should be fairly prompt. However, the perfectionist in me tends to slow down progress. The mood of this first chapter is rather sad. But, I promise, it gets better. There will be plenty of fluff and smut in future chapters :) Thank you for reading!
Regina Mills had never experienced a panic attack in her life, but she could swear that she was having one at this moment, as she walked toward the door of Emma's New Jersey home. Her chest felt tight as she desperately tried and failed to get oxygen into her lungs before ringing the doorbell. She only had to wait a matter of seconds before a familiar blonde answered the door.
The two women remain staring at each other in silence for a long time until a tiny girl, no more than three years old, comes running up to her mother. "Mommy, mommy, mommy!"
Breathing was a challenge for Regina before, but now it was just plain impossible.
Emma picks up the little girl, saying, "Charlie, this is Mommy's friend…Regina."
Charlie waves and cheerfully greets Regina, "Hi 'Gina!"
Regina is having a hard time fighting back tears and cannot manage a greeting toward the tiny child. Emma, recognizing the distress in Regina's face, explains to Charlie that she needs to go back inside and play so that Mommy and Regina can talk.
Regina waits until the child is back inside the house before speaking. With tears in her eyes, she squeaks, "Emma?"
That same moment, a man who looks like he just stepped out of the cast of Jersey Shore comes striding up behind Emma. "Who is it, babe?"
Regina struggles to gain composure, wiping away freshly shed tears.
The blonde turns to address her husband, as he casually wraps an arm around her waist. "Chris, this is my friend Regina."
"Oh, hey! It's always nice to meet Emma's friends," he says as he grabs Regina's hand and shakes it firmly. He then turns toward his wife, "Hey babe, I'm gonna go lie down for a bit before I have to go to work."
"Alright, honey."
"Nice meeting you, Regina," Chris says before making his exit.
Regina cannot manage a response, she has completely spaced-out and nods automatically. Once Chris is out of earshot, Regina timidly asks, "How old is she?"
Emma reluctantly answers, but does not meet Regina's eyes with her own. "She's three."
"She looks just like…"
Making a point look Regina in the eye this time, Emma snaps, "She's not yours, if that's what you're thinking!"
"She could be."
"How? How is that even possible?"
"Magic. You know how powerful our magic is."
"Powerful enough to get me pregnant? That's crazy, Regina!"
"The timing is right…and she looks just like-"
Emma cuts Regina off before she can finish, "I am only going to say this one more time. She is NOT yours."
They both avoid eye contact for a moment. Fearful that she has made a mistake, Regina attempts to amend the conversation. "Emma, I'm sorry."
There is a brief moment of silence before the blonde speaks. "How the hell did you finally cross the border?"
"Can we please talk?"
Emma can feel that this is a bad idea, drudging up past hurts and opening old wounds. The internal struggle is obvious to Regina, who is studying Emma's body language intently. "I'll make us some coffee," Emma begrudgingly states as she turns and heads back inside the house and toward the kitchen.
"That would be lovely," Regina responds earnestly, following the blonde inside the house.
Emma goes over to the kitchen island and sets out two coffee cups. One she places across from her as Regina takes the seat in front of the mug. Deciding to break the awkward silence first, Emma asks, "How is Henry?"
"He's good. He just started at NYU." Eager to get a response from Emma, Regina elaborates, "He has a scholarship. You would be so proud of him, Emma."
Emma chuckles to herself and immediately becomes defensive and accusatory. "He cut me out of his life."
"He's just confused, Emma."
"You turned my son against me."
"No, Emma! I would never do that, I swear."
"He hates me!"
"He doesn't hate you."
Realizing that this is a futile argument, Emma switches tactics. "Why are you here?"
"I was hoping to find you…and bring you home." Regina hopes that Emma can hear the sincerity in her tone.
It is evident in Emma's body language that this statement touches a nerve. "Regina, I can't do this right now. I think you should leave."
"Emma, please, I just want us to talk."
Just then, an energetic three-year-old comes running into the kitchen. "Mommy, mommy! Can 'Gina come play with me?"
Regina's heart feels as if it is about to explode in that moment.
"No, Charlie, Regina is just leaving," Emma dead-pans, maintaining eye contact with the brunette.
Regina takes a chance. "Oh, please, may I play with her?"
Looking down at her mug, Emma sighs and nods slightly.
"Yay! Come on, 'Gina," Charlie says, taking the brunette's hand; which causes Regina's heart to swell further.
After Charlie and Regina leave the kitchen, Emma quickly escapes into the half bath and locks the door behind her. She suddenly becomes aware of her trembling body and the cold sweat that is breaking over her. She braces herself over the toilet, ready to expel the contents of her stomach; and she does. Recovering slightly, Emma staggers out of the bathroom and into the kitchen to locate her hidden stash of Marlboro Lights in the cabinet with the pots and pans. She shakily guides one to her mouth, and lights it. The first drag fills her with instant relief and comfort as she leans against the counter. The moment her fingers stop trembling, she walks out the front door and begins to pace on her porch. Several minutes later she lights a second cigarette. Charlie and Regina are still downstairs, in the basement playroom, blissfully unaware of Emma's current breakdown.
After finishing the second cigarette, the blonde considers lighting a third. She decides against it and determinedly marches back inside the house and continues downstairs where Regina and Charlie are seated at a small craft table coloring. Emma can't help the sudden flutter of butterflies in the pit of her stomach as she stares at Regina's smiling face, watching her interact with their daughter. She had only seen Regina's face glowing so brightly once before. It was the day that their son remembered his brunette mother, after having his memories of her erased. Charlie was sitting on Regina's lap as the two colored together, both lost in their own little world. Emma had rarely ever seen Regina look so at peace. She hesitantly begins, "Charlie, it's time for Regina to go home."
Emma could swear she saw two versions of Regina staring back with pleading eyes in that moment. If she ever questioned whether the child was actually Regina's, now there was no doubt. The little girl is the spitting image of her brunette mother. Charlie cries, "But, mommy, I want 'Gina to stay."
"Charlie." raising her voice slightly, the blonde stands her ground.
"Emma," Regina pleads. But, the blonde avoids eye contact. Regina turns her attention to the tiny girl on her lap. "I'm sorry I can't stay and color with you Charlie; I have to go home now. Maybe I can come back and play with you some other time?"
The little girl nods timidly and, imitating her blonde mother, she keeps her eyes glued to the floor.
Regina helps the child off her lap as she stands to leave. Simultaneously, the little girl addresses her, "'Gina?" "Here, you can have this," the little girl says, offering the page that they were coloring together to Regina.
"Thank you sweetheart…I love it," a choked up Regina responds. She walks past Emma, up the stairs, and into the kitchen to gather her coat and purse. The coloring page, Regina holds close to her heart as she walks regretfully toward the front door.
Before stepping off the porch to leave, Regina turns to face Emma. "I plan on staying in town until Sunday. Would you be interested in talking sometime before then…just the two of us?"
"I don't know." The blonde searches the ground for answers as she stands in the doorway of her home. "I'll have to think about that."
"This is where I'm staying, if you do want to talk," Regina says as she hands a business card for the Residence Inn with her room number on it to the blonde. Emma accepts this as Regina hesitantly continues, "Emma, I understand if you're still upset with me…"
At that, Emma snaps her eyes up to meet Regina's. "Don't! Just don't." Emma has to inhale deeply before she is able to continue. "I told you…I can't do this right now."
"I'm sorry. I'll go now." Regina feels as if she is being ripped apart. With tears welling in her eyes, the brunette offers what she assumes will be the last thing she ever says to her former lover. "It's good to see you again, Emma."
Emma sheepishly nods; then watches as Regina gets into her Mercedes and drives away.
Regina barely makes it out of Emma's driveway before breaking. She has to stop the car less than a mile from the blonde's house, otherwise driving in her fragile state would have certainly resulted in an accident. Being Regina Mills, it takes her less than five minutes to compose herself enough to make it back to her hotel. She is still shaken and not quite ready to process the interaction that just took place.
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Later that night, while in her hotel room, Regina is fighting with herself about whether or not to call someone. She thinks about Mary-Margaret and David. They know that she left Storybrooke to find Emma and are eagerly awaiting news. But, the last thing Regina wants to do is rehash the events of the day. On the other hand, she doesn't want to be alone with these thoughts. She automatically calls the only person that she can tolerate right now, her son.
Henry answers his cell phone on the first ring. "Mom?"
"Hi honey." Regina welcomes the immediate calm and relief that washes over her as soon as she hears her precious boy's voice, which is deeper now. Regina doesn't even register the baritone anymore. Henry will always be her little prince.
"Mom, is everything alright?" The concern is evident in his voice.
"I'm fine, honey." Regina tries her hardest to ease her son's mind, but she cannot stop the torrent of emotion. "I found her, Henry."
"What?"
Regina is, once again, in tears. "I found your mother."
Henry's tone automatically shifts, "You found Emma. Where?"
She sniffles and does her best to reclaim composure. "I'm in New Jersey."
"Emma's in New Jersey! Have you seen her yet?"
Not wanting to rehash the events of that afternoon to her son or in her own mind, she hesitantly responds, "Yes."
"What happened?"
"She doesn't want to talk to me," Regina weakly replies. She can feel herself starting to lose it again, so she switches the focus of the conversation. "But, she misses you."
"Well, I don't want to talk to her." Henry is firm in his statement, but his mother can hear the distant longing in his voice.
"Henry, she's your mother," Regina tries to sooth.
"You're my mom. Emma abandoned us. And, she cut you out of her life first."
It breaks the brunette's heart to hear her son speak this way about his other mother. "That was my fault, Henry. Please, don't blame Emma."
"I'm just…not ready to talk to her."
"I understand." She really does understand and decides not to push the issue.
"I love you, Mom. I'm sorry Emma won't talk to you."
Regina attempts to fool herself by saying, "She will. She just needs some time. She probably didn't expect to ever see me again."
"You're probably right," Henry responds sincerely.
Determined not to end their phone conversation on a sad note, Regina brings up a positive topic. "How's school?"
"I really like it here. Most of my classes are kind of lame, but I love waking up in the city."
"Once you get the general education requirements out of the way, you'll be able to take more of the classes within your major." The distraction is clearly helping the emotional brunette.
"Yeah, I know."
"Do you like living in the dorm?"
"Yeah, it's really cool. I've also made a bunch of new friends here."
Regina smiles warmly; comforted by the fact that her precious boy is happy. "Well, I miss you terribly. But, I'm so glad that you're happy there."
"Thanks, Mom. I miss you too."
"I love you, Henry."
"I love you too."
"Goodnight sweetheart."
"Goodnight, Mom."
Regina tries to relax and will herself to sleep. There is only one problem. Her mind is racing with thoughts of Emma and their interaction earlier that day. She thinks about Charlie, the precious little girl who stole her heart. Regina accepts that the little girl is not hers, but she loves her just the same. The brunette wonders to herself what she could have done differently today. She honestly didn't know what to expect from her first interaction with Emma in four years. She also wishes desperately that she hadn't just discovered Emma's marital status. But, frankly, what did she expect? Emma has moved on…she moved on a long time ago. Regina couldn't even fathom the thought of moving on after Emma Swan, there is just no way. With that thought, Regina commences to cry herself to sleep the way she had many nights within the last four years.
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It's 9am the following morning, when Regina's cell phone rings. Not recognizing the number, the brunette's stomach turns over and her heart begins to race. She takes a chance. "Emma?"
"How did you know it was me?"
"No one else in this area code has my number."
"Good point. Listen Regina, I'm still very angry with you."
"I understand…"
"Let me finish. I think we should talk."
"Do you want me to meet you somewhere?"
"Are you at your hotel?"
"Yes."
"I'll be there in twenty minutes."
"Alright, I'll see you soon."
Regina's heart feels as if it is about to burst, she is hopeful for the first time in four years. Emma wants to talk. They are going to talk. She gets to see her Emma again. The only thing to do now is pace, as she excitedly awaits Emma's arrival.
After ending the call, Emma quickly dresses into her running capris, tank top, running shoes, and hoodie. While in the process of dressing, she calls out to her husband not realizing his close proximity. "Chris, would you mind watching Charlie for a little while, I'm gonna go to the gym." He had been standing in the doorway of their bedroom, eyeing Emma like a hawk eyeing its prey.
"Sure babe, the little munchkin and I can watch some cartoons together," Chris says as he saunters into the bedroom, eyeing his wife up and down with lust in his eyes. Emma knows that look, but tries to ignore it.
"Thank you," she says, as she attempts to give her husband a chaste kiss.
Chris responds by grabbing both of Emma's arms to hold her in place and deepens the kisses. Emma is instantly uncomfortable, not okay with being grabbed in such a manor. As Chris's tongue continues its assault, Emma wonders to herself how long this make out session will last. She told Regina that she would be at her hotel in twenty minutes. Unfortunately Chris intends to take his time, Emma notices, as he proceeds to fondle and squeeze her ass mercilessly. "I love your ass in these," he purrs as he kisses down her neck. "But, I prefer it naked," he continues, as he begins undressing his wife, pulling down her pants; panties included.
Emma attempts to halt her husband's advances. "Chris, I don't have time. I just promised my friend that I would meet her at the gym."
"She can start without you. I promise this will only take a few minutes." He continues to undress her.
Once she decides to give in, she is completely stripped within 15 seconds. Emma hopes that Chris is already hard; she doesn't have time to wait for his erection. Emma lets Chris enter her from behind, because she knows that is the quickest way to get this over with. She was right.
While Chris lies sprawled out on the bed enjoying his post-coital exhaustion, Emma dresses hurriedly.
"I'm sorry I can't stay, I really have to go," she manages to choke out as she throws on the last article of clothing.
"Have a great work-out," Chris hazily mumbles as Emma exits the bedroom.
Emma makes a quick detour down to the basement. Her daughter is right where she left her a half hour ago. The child is still sitting in her pajamas on the oversized couch, watching Saturday morning cartoons on the big screen. "See you later, kiddo, I'm going to the gym," Emma says, kissing the top of her daughter's head. "Be a good girl for Daddy, okay?"
"Okay," Charlie automatically responds, too engrossed in her cartoons.
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She knows she shouldn't, but that doesn't stop Emma from driving straight to Regina's hotel. She enters the lobby, heading for the elevators as she fishes the slip of paper with Regina's room number out of her pocket. Once inside the elevator, Emma dances around nervously as she presses the button for the 4th floor. The blonde feels as if her whole body is on fire as she works up the courage to knock on Regina's hotel room door.
She doesn't have to wait long. Two seconds later, Regina opens the door with a timid greeting, "Hi."