A/N; I'm BACK!
Chapter One: I'm Fine
I am not a child now
I can take care of myself
I mustn't let them down now
I mustn't let them see me cry
I'm fine… I'm fine…
-Jonatha Brooke, 'I'll Try'
xxXxx
"Do you know what my favorite part of this arrangement is, you little abomination? Not only will the girl have no memory of my magic, but she will never know you. To the day she dies, she will never know of your existence. She will never care for you or understand the reason why."
ooOoo
"Mommy?"
"Not now, Haru."
"Daddy?"
"Can't talk right now, maybe later."
"… Mommy?"
"I said not now! Go practice your Chopin!"
The ten year old girl's lower lip trembled, but she left her mother's sewing room as the older woman made more notes on her computer before turning to the quilt squares again.
This was the way both of her parents had acted since they moved to the new house. Not only were they keeping too busy to talk to each other, they were too busy to talk to their daughter.
All Haru wanted was to know if she could have a cookie.
ooOoo
Eleven-year old hands were hard at work, not on the piano as her parents wished, but on what appeared to be a misshapen bag. Her little needle darted in and out of the cloth, although her eyes kept straying to the window she was curled up against.
Her mother was due home any second now, and the tiny brunette couldn't wait to show her mother what she was making.
With some polyester stuffing she got from a craft store, she began filling the strange bag, shoving it as hard as possible into the smaller parts. As the bag slowly filled, it began to take a shape like a bloated animal.
"Cat," she corrected herself, awkwardly sewing the last seam shut after the toy was filled. "He's a cat, his ears are pointy."
One of the ears in question had a hot chocolate stain from when she was working on him at the breakfast table, but Haru found that he looked cute with the mark. It gave him a bit of uniqueness as opposed to being a plain white cat.
Once she was done, she turned him around to face her. His little button eyes were staring at her, and the lopsided smile she had stitched onto his face was adorable.
"Your name is Muta," she informed him with a grin, hugging the toy tightly to her chest. "Daddy has allergies to every animal on the planet, but he won't mind you."
Now that her 'pet project' was done, Haru hurried out of her room, down the hall and staircase to curl up in the bay window with her creation. She checked the clock to be sure of the time, and snuggled with her new toy.
'Any time now. Mommy said she'd be home with supper about now. Maybe Daddy will eat with us!' she thought excitedly, keeping her timid brown eyes on the road leading up to her lonely house on the hill. It had been a long time since she had eaten with both of their parents.
It was three hours until sunset. But the stars still came out before her mother came home, several hours after her father left for work.
"Mommy, I'm so-" she cried out while running to her, eager to finally collect a hug.
But she was stopped when the red head put out her hand.
"Don't, honey, please. I'm not in the mood tonight. Can you tell me in the morning?" she moaned, brushing past her daughter.
"But you have class in the morning," the girl protested.
"Ah, yes, thanks for reminding me, honey. All the days just seem to run together, nowadays. Come to think of it, why aren't you in bed?" the woman asked sternly.
"I wanted to show you Muta, Mommy!" Haru held up the cat for her mother's approval. "I can sew, just like you!" She smiled widely, hoping to see the older woman do the same.
Her mother looked at the toy, then closed her eyes. She tiredly rubbed circles into her temples before answering. "Haru… do your mommy a favor, okay? Stick to the piano, put my sewing things back where you found them, and go to bed. It's past midnight."
Then she turned away, completely missing the heartbroken look on her daughter's face.
ooOoo
Haru was the first to notice them. They fascinated her more than she could say, and she looked forward to seeing them between school and piano lessons. Not that there was much else, anymore. If not for her, the renovated house would have given away to dust and mice by now.
She started running home every day after school to check on their progress, delighted at how much they could grow between check ups.
Her twelve-year-old hand reached out to touch the supple vine climbing along the side of her house, being careful to avoid the developing thorns. The other hand tucked a few strands of brown hair away from her eyes as she stepped away from the front door to take a trip around her home.
The soft green vines weren't just climbing up the walls. They were taking over her front yard, back yard, and even the grass on either side of the house. The thorns, despite the sheer number of them, were staying strictly within twenty feet of the house in any direction in a giant circle.
"Just like an enchanted castle," she giggled to herself, wondering when her father had done this for her. Thanks to his job, he slept through the day in a specially soundproofed room so that she could practice and not disturb him, and that was when he was home. She had even less of a chance to see him when he left on business trips.
Haru shook her head to fight off the melancholy, and tried to focus on the good. "I hope there's going to be roses. Thorns usually bring roses, right?"
She was right. By the end of the month, buds were starting to appear; every bit as lovely as the stars her father studied every night.
ooOoo
"Curse these plants!" he yelled as he stormed into the house one morning and made a beeline for the kitchen. "Haru, why didn't you tell me our lawn was getting taken over?"
She looked up from her cereal in surprise. "I thought you did it for me."
"Of course not! I couldn't even park in the driveway, they're so thick! Is this your mother's doing?" he growled darkly.
"Mom doesn't like plants, remember? She was complaining about them before leaving for another convention yesterday."
"… Right. Do you want me to help you out for the bus?" he asked tiredly. "I don't want those thorns cutting you."
Haru nodded eagerly. She had no trouble avoiding the thorns, but wasn't about to pass up a rare opportunity like this.
Unfortunately, her father stopped at the edge of the thicket. But at least he was nice about using his body to shield her.
"Now, don't forget to be good, and do what your teachers say," he reminded her, biting back a few pained yelps as he made his way back through.
Haru tried to bite back her disappointment, but started walking to the bus stop. She had been hoping that he was going to wait with her.
ooOoo
A mere few hours later, her mouth was agape with horror. Knowing who was responsible for the sacrilege, she ran into the house and down into the basement where her father's room was.
True to her suspicions, a pair of gardening shears were lying next to his room. Ignoring the sign on the door, she started banging on it. "Why, Dad? It was so beautiful!"
No answer.
"You and Mom are never around to protect me if someone comes! Why can't you let the thorns do it if you don't want to?"
Still no answer. Was he too far in sleep to hear her, or was he deliberately ignoring her?
Fighting back tears, Haru took the shears and marched up to her room to hide them under her bed. She knew that it was a futile gesture, but she wanted to make clear just how unhappy she was about what he had done.
Before she opened her homework, or came close to the piano, she did her best to repair the damage done to her precious thorns.
Her father had cleared a path from the driveway to the door, and had halfway cleared the driveway before quitting. Unable to stop the tears from running down her face, she tenderly picked up as many of the fallen vines as she could, and carried them to the back of the house.
The tiny buds didn't look like stars anymore. Now that she was holding them close, they seemed to be teardrops instead. Why shouldn't they? The chance that those buds had to blossom had been cruelly cut down, just because her father couldn't be bothered to park just outside the driveway.
Maybe he should have covered that ground with cement, if he wanted it to remain free of greenery.
She gave the armful of vines a warm hug before laying them next to a small pond that her parents had forbidden her to swim in when they first moved here. But after a second thought, she sunk the vines into the water itself. For some reason, it felt more respectful to do that. The pond swelled with each armload of vines she brought over, until all of them had been sunk beneath the cool water.
It wasn't until after she tucked herself into bed that night that she thought to wonder; why hadn't any of the thorns poked her?
ooOoo
The morning after, she was cruelly awoken when her father stormed into her room.
"Haru!" he yelled angrily, making the girl sit up in fright. "How did you do it?"
"Do what?" she whimpered, holding onto Muta with both arms.
The man gave an irritated growl, and dragged her out of bed and to the window facing the front of the house. "Don't play games, young lady! It took me hours to clear away enough of the driveway to use it, and now look at what's happened!"
Haru did look. But she didn't believe it.
The thorns had actually grown back, looking like they had never been touched!
Weaseling out of her father's grasp, she ran out of the room, down the stairs, and looked out the kitchen window facing the pond with glee.
A beautiful bush was growing there, too!
From that day on, it didn't matter what method her father used. He could never control the thorns for more than a day. After a few months, he stopped trying and surrendered to parking the car a little further down the driveway, as well as keeping a sturdy coat on hand.
That was more than fine with Haru, she decided while carefully snipping some of the light grey roses to put on top of the piano in a glass vase.
ooOoo
Haru coughed hoarsely from her place next to the bed. Although her brain was foggy and half-asleep, she fought the drowsiness enough to slowly and carefully make her way down the stairs.
Personally, she wanted to stay in her room until she felt better. But since both of her parents were too busy to think about taking care of a sick teenager, she had no choice but to migrate downstairs with Muta tucked tight into one arm.
The thirteen-year-old knew full well that kids her age didn't have stuffed animals anymore, but since she had no other person to turn to for comfort, she wasn't about to turn her back on her beloved doll.
She took a full ten minutes to recover from the stairs, and managed to drag herself into the kitchen. She was hungry and thirsty, but had to take care of business first. Her bleary eyes took in the number for the school on the fridge, and her fingers managed to pound in the number.
Despite how Haru felt, she cleared her throat carefully as the phone rang. This wasn't the first time she'd been forced to do this.
"Hello, this is Yurashim Junior High, how may I help you?" one of the overly chipper secretaries asked.
"Hello, this is Yoshioka Naoko," Haru said in a near-perfect imitation of her mother. "Haru can't make it to school today. She seems to have caught the flu bug that's been going around."
"Oh, the poor thing," the secretary crooned sympathetically as computer typing was heard in the background. "It sounds like you weren't spared, either."
"Just one of the side effects of being a good parent," Haru replied dryly, since that was the sort of thing she'd heard other parents say.
"Isn't it always? How long do you think she'll be sick?"
"It's pretty bad, so I'll give her two days. If she needs more time, I'll let you know."
"Okay, you're all set. I'll notify her teachers, and they'll get someone to bring over her homework."
"Thank you kindly. Stay away from the bug."
"Thanks, Yoshioka-san. Hope you feel better soon."
Haru smiled weakly as she set the phone in its cradle. "Thanks," she moaned in her true voice.
ooOoo
Now fourteen years old, Haru patiently waited outside her house with a biography of Beethoven in one hand. She stared at it, wishing that she could focus on the words, but her ears were on hyper alert, waiting for the tell tale-
Squeaking of a rusty bike!
She looked up happily, shutting the book as Tsuge rode up to her.
"You didn't have to wait outside for me," he told the girl as he got off the bike.
"I thought it might save time in case you lose again."
"Oh no," he laughed darkly as he marched to the thorns and pulled on a thick woolen hat. "I've been planning my strategy this time. I will get to the front door!"
"Maybe I should have brought pom poms," Haru giggled as he got down on his knees and began crawling into the wild plant life.
"Ow- don't say that! I have enough trouble with real- ouch- cheerleaders!" he scolded as he burrowed deeper.
"Is Hiromi giving you trouble again?" Haru sighed as she followed him, only bending over a little to avoid the thorns.
"Ouch! Yes, she can't… take a hint!" he panted, obviously grateful for the heavy pants and jacket that was keeping most of the thorns from getting to him. He had long since learned never to attempt a visit in school clothes.
"Maybe if you got a girlfriend, she'd back off?" Haru suggested.
That only made him laugh darkly again. "I won't start dating until I like someone, and I don't like anyone yet. Ack, okay, I give up! Would you mind giving a little help?" he begged as a persistent vine stole his hat.
Fighting back a giggle, she maneuvered around him, rescued the hat, and detangled Tsuge from the mess he had crawled into.
"Seriously, Haru. How do you stand living in something like this?" he moaned, keeping close as she led him by the hand.
"I love it, actually. The thorns give me protection, and the roses give me beauty." She lovingly caressed one blossom before opening the door.
"Ah, sanctuary!" Tsuge crooned while removing the jacket.
"Besides, the thorns caught a man that was trying to get to the living room window last week," Haru told him casually as she led him up the stairs. "He was even armed with hedge clippers, and he still couldn't get through."
"Whoa, really?" Tsuge asked in horror. "Did the police catch him?"
Haru started laughing. "Yes, but they needed my help to detangle him. The look on his face, needing to be rescued by a teenager he was planning to rob!"
"What did your parents say?" he asked as they entered her room.
Haru stiffened, not wanting to answer that.
"… You didn't tell them, did you?"
"… I emailed them," she replied lamely. "They haven't answered yet."
Tsuge growled as he sat himself in front of her computer and pulled out some tools from his pocket. "Seriously, Haru. You talk more to my parents than yours!"
"Does it bother them?" she asked in a tiny voice, sitting down on the bed to watch him. Muta fell over from his sitting position when she sat down, making his head land on her knee as if to offer comfort. She tried not to bug his folks too much, but there were days when she just needed an adult that would act like a parent.
"Of course not. Mom likes having someone to pass on her cooking knowledge to since Sakura's still too young and Ai couldn't give a care about homemaking. Dad… well, he's glad that you've stopped plugging the toilet whenever you want to talk to him."
Haru blushed crimson at that remark. Tsuge's father was a skilled plumber and repairman, which was how she got in contact with his family.
Not that anyone else knew of it. She and Tsuge were on friendly terms, but they didn't really talk outside of computer help or random comments.
"Speaking of cooking, would you mind taste testing some fish cookies I made an hour ago?"
He paused long enough to give her a disgusted look. "Fish cookies?"
"They're only shaped like fish," she defended. "Zero percent sea life."
"Oh. Then sure."
ooOoo
Haru tiredly stared at her computer, willing her parents to remember this year. Please, she was sixteen today; they couldn't miss out on her sweet sixteen!
But as the morning turned into afternoon with no emails, she forced herself to look away. 'Maybe if I go do something, they'll send me a message by the time I get back.'
The thought made her get out her cell phone and punch in Hiromi's number.
She had calmed down since junior high, although she still had a major crush on Tsuge.
"… Hello? I'm sorry, someone there?"
"Hi, Hiromi, it's Haru," she chirruped, since she didn't want her best friend to worry about her. "You want to catch a movie or hit a mall?"
"What… oh. I'm sorry, Haru, but my little brother's in the hospital and I need to stay close if it turns serious."
Haru flinched in horror. "Maybe some other time, then. I hope he feels better soon."
"Yeah, me too. Catch you later."
"Sure," Haru sighed, turning off the phone in misery.
It just wasn't fair. When Hiromi turned sixteen, her parents did a huge surprise party for her and invited all her friends. It hadn't been Haru's favorite experience, since Hiromi had a lot more friends than she did, but it was still a pretty good party. She really wanted to believe that her parents would do something like that for her, but…
She knew better. With what they'd both been doing for years, she was more likely to get an apology email telling her they had deposited the usual amount into her account. A whole week after the birthday. The same pattern was used for Christmas, despite the fact that both of them always had the day off.
Haru shook herself angrily. "Okay, that's it," she snarled, getting up from her computer to change into something nicer. "It's my sweet sixteen, and I'm not going to spend another birthday alone in this house!"
Settling on a cream skirt and nice green shirt, she slipped into a pair of her nicer shoes and left her house, doing the usual careful dance to avoid the thorns. It really was strange, how everyone else could get pricked just by being too close, but she had yet to be pricked once.
'They must know that I'm on their side,' the brunette thought with a wry smile, caressing a bud before continuing down to the bus stop. 'Too bad Tsuge doesn't hang out with me. A Star Wars marathon would be a lot more fun if there was someone to watch it with me.'
ooOoo
The mall was busy and loud. Obnoxiously so, even. Haru tried to ignore those drawbacks as she wandered from store to store. Almost nothing appealed to her, but she kept wandering, doing her best to stay out of other people's way, especially the other teenagers.
Haru had never felt comfortable around kids her age, other than Tsuge. There were days when she didn't even feel comfortable around Hiromi, but what could she do? If not for the sandy blonde, Haru wouldn't have anyone to talk to at school. She looked down in shame while passing a jewelry store.
It wasn't completely her fault. Other kids had parents to prepare meals and keep their homes looking nice. Her piano easily qualifies as an after school activity, especially since the principal found out how good she was. He was always calling on her to play for some school event or other. But such calls left her very little time to herself, and she was never completely sure on what to say to the other students. Even when she tried to be part of a conversation, they'd stare at her until she made a polite retreat.
'No, don't think about this. It's my birthday for crying out loud!' Still determined to enjoy herself, she managed to buy a new cook book that looked interesting, as well as bath salts. She almost never pampered herself, but hey, it was her birthday. A little indulgence never hurt anyone.
Deciding that was enough for now, she walked into the food court, placed her order at one of the least busy restaurants, and chose a table that was tucked into the corner. Sighing happily, she opened up her new cook book to start perusing through the casserole section.
'Hmm, can't do that one. Mom hates fish. Dad would like that one, but only if I added some wasabi. But Mom hates wasabi.' She bit back a small sigh as she stared at the random picture that the restaurant had hung next to her seat. 'Cooking's hard enough when a family's together. The only reason I can tell if one or both eat what I make is the way I find the dishes in the sink and less leftovers than what I put away. I almost wish they'd divorce so that I could have at least one of them around.' She sunk against the thick cushioning that made a wall between her and the rest of the tables.
These were supposed to be the fun years of her life. The days when she could relax and have slumber parties with treasured friends. Heck, an occasional movie night would be a blessing. But Hiromi was always so busy, now that she was on the lacrosse team and Haru was working on the piano or preparing for another recital.
Since no one was around to see it, Haru wrapped her arms around herself and squeezed as hard as she could. It was such a little thing, a hug. So little effort. Why couldn't someone bother to give her a hug?
'I sure hope things get better soon. I don't want to live like this forever. At least in college I'll be bound to have a roommate.' She brightened at the thought. Even if the girl drove her crazy, at least it would be more company than she'd had in years. 'But I'd almost have to leave Muta behind. I don't know how I'll deal with that. Then again, it wouldn't be too hard to disguise him as a pillow-"
"… The cutest thing I've seen all day!" someone gushed behind her as a group of girls took over a table two spaces away from her.
Wait a minute. Haru knew that voice! But what was she doing here?
"This has been the best day ever!" Aiko gushed while riffling through her bags. "Aren't you glad you dodged the bullet, Hiromi?"
"Yeah, I am," her best friend giggled happily. "Haru's nice enough, but hanging out with her is like a cure for insomnia."
Haru's mouth fell open.
"Honestly, why did you even start hanging out with Little Miss Perfect?" Yura sneered. "All she cares about is grades and her precious piano."
'Not true!' Haru wanted to cry out, but now her voice felt frozen in place.
"Easy. Because her grades and piano skills are so good, university scouts are bound to start harassing her soon. How hard can it be to ask her to send a few my way?" Hiromi giggled in a careless manner.
By now, the hidden girl couldn't even think. All she could do was hurt.
Yura gave a scornful laugh. "Should have known it was something like that. I wouldn't be able to stay awake long enough for Miss Perfect to do that for me. I mean, does she really have to keep entering the talent show? I fall asleep every time she steps behind a piano."
"It's been tougher ever since she took over from Hatashi-san for choir practice," Aiko confided, her tone less than thrilled. "For crying out loud, the teachers gush whenever she touches a piano."
"Of course they do. Haru once told me that Principal Yami is a huge classical fan and wants her to get the best scholarship available. Huh, just try making him pay that much attention to lacrosse players," Hiromi sniffed disdainfully. "Everyone knows athletes make more money than musicians."
'Oh yeah? Some musicians make more than athletes can even dream of!' Haru wanted to snap, but both her lips and vocal chords were frozen.
Little Miss Perfect? Was that really how everyone else saw her? Her eyes were now glued to the picture, wishing that it wasn't covered in glass. "I am not perfect," she mouthed to her own reflection. 'What is so perfect about being a clumsy outcast?'
The other girls kept talking, but Haru didn't want to hear it anymore. She couldn't take it anymore!
"Ah, there you are!" a waiter said while walking past the girls and to her booth. "Couldn't find you at first. Here's your order, miss."
Haru stared at the cheeseburger and fries with nothing short of disgust. If she tried to take even a sip of the milkshake, she'd hurl it back up.
"Could you please do a small favor for me, before you go?" she managed to say, noticing the other table was now dead silent.
"That's what I'm here for."
Haru stood up with her two bags and forked over some money. "I lost my appetite. There's a nice tip if you'll give my meal to someone else. Heck, I don't care if you eat it."
"Is something wrong?" he asked in surprise.
"Yes, but it's nothing you can help with. Have a nice day, sir." As she walked out of the restaurant, she spared a glare for her 'best friend'.
Hiromi was staring at her in open-mouth horror, and the rest of the girls looked flabbergasted to see her outside of school and nowhere near a piano.
There were a lot of things Haru wanted to say to what she had thought was her only friend. Call her out on her lie in public, snark about her brother's 'condition', or even deliver a well-deserved slap for using her.
But since confrontation had never been her strong suite, Haru turned her back in order to march out of the restaurant and mall alone.
ooOoo
The first thing she did upon coming home was block both Hiromi's cell and home number from her phone, although she had needed to call Tsuge to pull it off.
"Just for the record, I'm adding this to my list of reasons to hate her," Tsuge grumbled once he managed to talk her through it.
"Your private list, you mean," Haru mumbled, not bothering to keep the misery out of her voice this time. "No one knows we talk to each other, remember?"
"Ah, well," he said nervously, but she wasn't feeling up to a half-baked excuse for the fact that he was pretending to be a brainless jock that wouldn't be caught dead with a music nerd.
"Tsuge? Is that really what everyone calls me?" she asked in a tiny voice. "Little Miss Perfect?"
"… Or some variant of it," he answered evasively. "But I know better. You know I do."
She sighed in agreement. "You're probably the only one that does. Thanks again for helping me out, Tsuge. Goodbye."
"Goodbye, Haru. Happy birthday."
That made her cry, almost before shutting off the phone.
Tsuge was the only one that had remembered.