A/N: I would like to give a big thank you once again to all of who who have read, reviewed and favorited, and those who followed me along on this mini journey into a failed romance torn apart at cheating. I do not condone cheating nor do I think I could react like Axis...but do not automatically sell somebody off if they cheat. There are always two sides to every story. If you love someone...fight. It will hurt and by golly you might wish you had just given up on them. But, the possible rewards are definitely worth the struggle. I hope you all enjoy this final chapter, and thank you all once again. I missed my two year anniversary on this site, but a HUGE thank you to Raven Sinead who has officially been my pal for two years. A lot of my stories are helped or inspired by her. I recommend every single one of her stories; you will not be disappointed.

A full year had eclipsed since Axis had left Miranda in their old apartment room, an entire three hundred and sixty-five fucking days since she had last seen the woman who, even after the betrayal, set her blood afire and her mind awhirl with all sorts of heavy domestic stuff that stoic soldiers weren't supposed to like. Truthfully Axis would have probably bombed being a wife or a parent. She was good at shooting things and witty quips that set her comrades into guffaws and snickers, but taking care of a baby? She would have fucked the kid up worse than Henry did Miranda…well, maybe not that bad….

The point was Axis did not know how to be normal.

The break-up had been very hard on the woman, changing her personality a bit to fit the new careless persona she had enveloped herself in. Axis did not let anyone else into her heart, or her bed for that matter. Oh, she had certainly thought about taking a stranger to bed to hide the hole ripping open her chest day by day, but she flaked out every time before she could even attempt to get laid. Miranda had ruined her for anyone else and it just made Axis hurt all the more.

Many, many times Axis had caught herself looking at a picture of Miranda she had taken midway through their relationship, a picture that highlighted Miranda's beautific smile that only Axis truly got to see. Those icy eyes that always seemed to warm up when she laid eyes on Shepard, thawing out from the glacial princess everyone else seemed to see and turning simply into Miranda Lawson, Axis's girlfriend and so much more. Axis felt emptier without Miranda, and that feeling would not go away no matter what lies the vanguard spun.

But, now, she had news that could completely change her life and possibly make it a bit brighter. Oriana Lawson had remained in Axis's life despite no longer dating her older sister, and the woman had finally had just e-fucking-nough of the separation and the repercussions that followed that she told Axis exactly what went on that night from Miranda's own mouth. Axis tried to remain in denial and just label Miranda off as a stereotypical cheater, but deep down in her heart she knew it was more than that. Miranda was in no way your everyday piece of scum. Her heart was bigger than others gave her credit for The commander had not wanted to acknowledge any other reason for the scene she witnessed, but after hearing the story from Oriana's own mouth…she was now conflicted.

A huge part pf her just wanted to say fuck it and take Miranda into her arms and never let her go. She missed the scientist like crazy and did not know how much longer she could live while being "dead." But her insecurities and fears held her back from taking that step. Axis did believe Oriana; the woman was most definitely trustworthy, and although the younger Lawson did in fact want reconciliation between her sister and Earth's hero, there was a honesty shining in her eyes as she recounted her sister's tale as closely as she could. There was a heavy sadness clouding her face as the young woman spoke of Miranda's deteriorating state, of how she had taken to using sleeping pills just to go to sleep at night and had not touched a drop of alcohol in the entire year Miranda had been parted from Axis. Miranda had turned back into the ice queen she had been before Axis happened, albeit more quiet and defeated. A slump had permanently marred Miranda's step and the warmth in her eyes had hardened to flint. Miranda Lawson was all but gone, having shrunk in on itself in her grief.

The image of Miranda just existing, and just barely doing that, bothered Axis more than she was comfortable admitting. Despite her feelings, she was reluctant to face Miranda again. She had not laid eyes on the woman in person since that fateful night and Axis was hesitant to. She still had images of Miranda and that guy tangled up together in the bed the dark-haired beauty shared with Axis. Even though Axis had time to ruminate over the incident and what she was going to do about it, there were still misgivings about Miranda herself. What if she forgave her and Miranda ended up cheating again? Axis was always busy with her job and she could not help that. The Alliance and the galaxy still needed her services and if Miranda could not deal a year ago, what made Axis think the biotic could handle it now and with such a sour moment to spoil the relationship?

Axis thought long and hard about her options, wanting to make absolutely sure of her decision. On one hand she had the chance to reclaim the love from before. Finally, Axis could be happy. On the other, Miranda had completely shattered Shepard's self-confidence and trust and Axis could not take another blow of that magnitude. She barely survived the last outing. One thing Axis knew for sure: this was the hardest decision of her life.

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Miranda Lawson was a mess; a pathetic, sad, hot mess. The past year without Axis had taken a toll for the genetically modified agent. In order to try and drown out the regrets that haunted her every thought, Miranda threw herself headlong into her work, acting as both the lead scientist of the entire Alliance operation as well as the head and lead agent of the Alliance Ops, a group that was started in the ashes of Cerberus. The special force had started up near the end of Miranda and Axis's union, and Miranda had been the ideal choice for the care of the special task force. Previously she had helped the scientists out; her knowledge was invaluable and the Alliance quickly realized her potential. It was not until after the break-up, however, that she took on both jobs as well as accompanied her agents on the most dangerous of the missions. She refused to sit back on her ass and let her soldiers fight without her. Maybe a bit of Miranda hoped a bullet would hit her or an explosion would tear her to bits. Anything would be better at this point.

The backlash from her cheating was astronomical and Miranda had been so sure of her termination from the military and discarded like trash. After all, that is what everyone close to her did. Her father, Jacob, The Illusive Man… even Oriana still conversed with Shepard and rarely seemed to speak to the older sister who was crumbling before her very eyes. The Alliance never did terminate her like she thought, staying out of personal relations that had nothing to do with their outfit. Miranda felt both hopeful and oddly disappointed. Still, she took care to protect those under her command and get them home safely. She may not have anything to live for but her soldiers did. Miranda would not see them punished for her actions.

So Miranda worked from dawn until dusk, barely catching a wink of sleep. Rinse, recycle, and repeat. Miranda also became very withdrawn, not even bothering to engage any of the old Normandy team. Some of them had tried to extend an olive branch to her because deep down they all cared and were worried about the extreme changes in her weight and appearance, but Miranda did not want any part of it. She was like a stone wall; cold, hard and unmovable.

Miranda had just worked a fourteen hour shift straight and she was bone tired, but sleep was far worse than being awake. Miranda was able to compartmentalize during the day and work preoccupied her mind and kept it from straying but her true feelings were ripped from her in her sleep, forcing Miranda to relive every painful moment over and over again until Miranda awoke screaming with tears pouring down her face and sheets drenched in sweat. No thank you, sleep. Go bugger someone else.

The dark-haired Ops coordinator slowly walked to the tiny kitchen of her apartment, starting to brew a cup of the strongest coffee her taste buds could handle. Miranda had moved out of the apartment she and Axis shared and instead took on a dingy little backwater complex far away from her type of civilization. It was a dangerous area rife with criminals and seedy thugs, but Miranda had moved there as one form of penance. She could most certainly afford a better pad somewhere luxurious but Miranda did not want comfort. She wanted pain and lots of it. After all, what better retribution for her misdeeds?

A knock on her door broke Miranda from her straying thoughts. Frowning slightly, Miranda went through a mental checklist of all the people that knew her new address. None save her sister knew she was sure of it. Miranda had her suspicions it was a trap and she was about to get a fist or bullet to the face. Oh well, she did not give a fuck. Holding the ceramic mug in her hand, enjoying what might be the last dredges of warmth her body would ever receive, the woman walked over to her apartment door and slowly opened it. Blue widened in a mixture of shock and pain and the ceramic mug in her hands careened to the floor, slipping through slack fingers.

"Axis…."

The whisper was said with such reverence and anguish that Axis could feel her heart constrict in sympathy. She shook the feelings away like one would a pesky cobweb.

"May I come in? I believe you owe me an explanation."

The walls came crashing down Miranda's face, her expression freezing over like an iceberg in winter. For the first time in a long time, Axis could not read Miranda's face. It was disconcerting to say the least.

"As you wish, commander."

Miranda gestured for the soldier to pass through. Axis stepped inside, tensing when her arm brushed up against Miranda's. Axis felt an odd spike of pleasure shoot down her spine when she felt a answering twitch from Miranda, the latter pulling back.

Axis took in the subpar surroundings, wrinkling her nose at just how inadequate the place was for living. Miranda certainly had changed in the past year if she would willingly live in these quarters.

Axis turned when Miranda's disinterested, polite tone reached her ears. "Would you care for some coffee, Commander? Or perhaps something else?"

Axis bore into intense blue eyes, her own smoldering. "You have something strong, like ryncol?"

A tick in Miranda's jaw was the only break in character. "I'm sorry Commander but I do not carry alcohol in my home nor do I partake in it any longer. I can brew tea if you like?"

Axis shook her head in the negative. "You know I do not like tea very much. I think I will pass."

Miranda dipped her head, taking a sip of her coffee. Axis took this time to take a good look at her ex-girlfriend. Dark circles marked her eyes and her cheeks were sunken and even paler than usual. She had obviously lost weight that did not need to be lost and Miranda stood slumped as if in defeat. Even her words were more of a monotone than anything. This certainly was not the same Miranda Axis had fallen in love with.

"So Commander, what was the explanation you needed to know?"

Axis frowned. "You know what, Miranda. Don't play stupid."

Miranda shrugged. "I cheated on you, you ran from me, we "broke up," and you and I have not spoken a word since. There is nothing else to discuss."

"Like hell there isn't! Why didn't you tell me you felt alone? Why did I have to find this out from your sister months after I walked in on you screwing some guy?"

Miranda remained expressionless save for a brief flash in her eyes. "Why does this matter now, Axis? It has been a year; you and I have moved on and what is done is done. I cannot turn back time or I would. What more do you want?"

"I want you, dammit! I always wanted you; I fucking loved you! I want to know why you did not feel like you could talk to me about this and instead get so drunk and sad that you had sex with another in our bed! Why didn't you fight for us? Why, why why?"

"Because it would not have done anything! I had already fucked up and I was not going to shame you any further. You were done, Axis; you did not return any of my calls or texts and I could not get anybody to get in contact with you. So, I stopped. I did not deserve you or your love so I took myself out of the equation. You had a chance for a better life, a chance at happiness. So why are you asking this all now?"

Both women were red in the face, desperation and emotion roiling off them both. Without warning, Axis crossed the room in two quick strides and grasped the cloth of Miranda's new Alliance uniform. Hot lips crashed upon Miranda's, surprising the woman and making her gasp. Axis took control, pushing Miranda down onto the small couch set up in the corner. Axis straddled the woman once Miranda lost her footing, wrapping slim fingers through silky soft strands. A moan slipped out, but neither knew whose it was. Perhaps both.

Axis slowed the kiss down, taking a gentle turn. She slowly drew back, watching as Miranda lay there stock still, eyes still closed and mouth parted open. Blue eyes swimming in confusion and hope opened to shimmering teal. Unspoken emotions flowed between the women as they said everything in that one glance. I'm sorry. I know. Can you forgive me? Yes. Things were not as simple as the kiss was, and neither would things be clear cut and easy. Tears would be shed and words shouted in hurt and anger. Arguments and distrust would break out in bursts and old wounds would be reopened on occasion. But at least they were trying. I'll be better, I promise….I know. I….believe you.