Hello all! So, this is the first Merlin fic I've posted here, and the original was a bit wonky, so this is the edited version. This is a Freylin fic, because while I love a good Merthur story like any girl, Freylin doesn't seem to get enough credit, because they are an adorable couple whether you want to admit it or not. This was originally going to be a one-shot, but after due consideration, the second (and last, sorry peeps!) chapter will be posted soon, as I've gotten many a request for a sequel. Enjoy!

Final Edit: March 4, 2016

~0~

I'll Love You 'Till the Day I Die

No matter what you thought of Gwaine, he wasn't stupid. Quite the opposite, in fact. He was a naturally observant person, even if you did find him drowning in a barrel of ale almost every night.

When Arthur, the newly returned Guinevere, Merlin and Mordred rode into Camelot, Gwaine immediately noticed something off about Merlin. Sure he smiled at everyone, but it was forced, and didn't reach his eyes (now that he thought about it, something had seemed off about Merlin for a while now). The servant seemed determined to avoid Mordred's gaze, instead busying himself with taking care of the horses and actually doing his job for once, which was another obvious tip that something had happened on their little excursion. Something that the King and Queen seemed oblivious to; they were too busy being welcomed back by Sirs Leon and Percival to notice their friend's mood. While it was understandable, it was slightly annoying that no one seemed to notice Merlin.

See, Gwaine knew like the sun rose in the morning and set in the evening that Merlin almost never did his chores when asked. He got them done, and done correctly (no matter how much Arthur proclaimed otherwise), but never when he was technically supposed to. He only worked as diligently and efficiently as any normal servant would when he needed to take his mind off of things.

However, Gwaine knew another way to accomplish that.

Two hours later Gwaine, Leon, Percival, Mordred and Merlin were gathered in the royal's chambers, drinking the good wine that Arthur only brought out for celebrations. Everyone felt that this was cause for celebration.

Three cups in, Merlin silently slipped out of the room, drawing no attention to himself -except from Gwaine. His behavior was starting to concern the knight. Merlin was the first friend that he made in Camelot; he was the one that showed him that Arthur was a good man (despite his usual pratiness), and that there was some nobility that were worth fighting for. Merlin was the only one that knew about his father, and his own noble blood (the irony is not lost on either of them). Gwaine considered the servant his best friend, and he just wished the man would talk to him. Merlin constantly looked as though the weight of the world rested on his tense shoulders, his usually bright eyes would gain a haunted shadow when he thought no one was looking. He had secrets, and many of them.

But Gwaine also knew that he wouldn't tell anyone anything unless he wanted to. Along with gaining muscles and many admirers from the female servants over the years (though he seemed oblivious to the giggling and blushing girls that worked alongside him), Merlin's stubbornness grew as well. It was annoying as hell when either the king or the knights wanted to know something, and Gwaine thought there was such a thing as too damn stubborn. The king's manservant embodied it perfectly.

"Where's Merlin?" Leon's question was followed by shrugs and a snicker from the king.

"Maybe he's going to see his lady friend," he said sarcastically. All ears perked at this statement.

Percival looked at the king in shock. "Merlin has a lady friend?"

"What kind of 'lady friend' are we talking here," Leon asked. It seemed the alcohol and the sheer joy of having their Queen back was making the usually formal Sir Leon loose-lipped. Gwaine would have to remember that.

"I don't know," Gwaine interrupted before anyone could answer, "but he's sneaking out of the city."

There was silence for a few moments, then a rush of movement as everyone tried to get to the doors. There was an unspoken agreement that they were going to follow their friend, because why wouldn't they? Seeing as how Merlin had never mentioned a girl besides his mother, Morgana or Gwen, everyone was obviously very curious to see if this particular rumor was true. Gwaine snorted quietly at their actions. Sometimes he could swear the knights were bigger gossips than the maids in the palace. The knight was slightly surprised that Gwen hadn't protested yet, but just shrugged it off as wanting to know more about their elusive friend. This was going to be interesting.

~0~

Arthur honestly didn't know how he had missed it.

All the distracted looks, missing a few chores and waiting until the last minute to complete them, the distance that Merlin had put between him and Gwen (he wasn't going to admit that that hurt a bit), it was all adding up.

Merlin obviously was hiding something. He has been since he came to Camelot, of that Arthur was certain. But why would he hide the fact that he had found a girl?

They went without horses, as they would be too loud and alert their target of their presence. Instead they followed the manservant on foot. Arthur was astounded at the level of skill his clumsy servant had used in hiding his trail. Even with a few minutes on the knights and the queen, he was practically silent as he went through the forest. 'I KNEW the idiot was scaring off my prey on purpose!' The revelation annoyed the king a bit more than he expected it would, but he just shrugged it off and followed the servant.

After about thirty minutes of walking through the woods, they finally found the most beautiful sight any of them had seen.

There was a large clearing, with wildflowers of all kinds growing the closer it got to the forest on one end and a small beach reaching a large lake on the other. Mountains stretched behind the lake, with the full moon shining overhead, making the whole scene rather picturesque. The lake was calm, barely a ripple disturbing the still waters, and it looked like a large mirror. Merlin stood on the beach with his head tilted towards the sky and his eyes closed.

Though the scene itself should have been serene, it wasn't. Arthur and the knights hid behind some bushes, concealing them from view but giving them access to their friend. As Arthur looked closer at his manservant, he noticed the tense set of his shoulders and the stiffness of his back. His hands were clenched at his side and he seemed to be struggling to control his breathing. Something was obviously upsetting him, and apparently Arthur wasn't the only one to notice.

"What's wrong with him," Gwen whispered, concern heavy in her voice. None of the knights could answer her question so they stayed silent.

Suddenly Merlin swooped down, picked up a handful of stones from the ground and threw it into the lake with a roar of anger. Everyone flinched at the sound, having never heard their usually cheerful friend sound so furious. Arthur was dumfounded, wondering what in the hell could have gotten to his manservant to make him react like this.

"Why," he shouted. "Why is it always them?! What did we ever do to deserve this?!"

Arthur gaped at the young man, shocked by his outburst. The knights weren't doing any better. Gwen was covering her mouth with her hands to keep her gasp from sounding.

"That damned over-grown lizard, I shouldn't have found him. I shouldn't have come to Camelot, none of this should have ever happened!" Merlin's hands rose to pull at his hair, so hard Arthur was afraid he would pull it out. He fell to his knees in the sand, silent tears rolling down his cheeks. "None of this should have happened."

The last sentence was whispered so brokenly that Arthur almost rose to his feet to console the young man. He couldn't bear to see his friend so destroyed, though he couldn't understand what he was talking about. He was about to rise when Leon grabbed his arm and pointed to the lake.

A few feet off the shore, ripples started forming on the surface of the lake. They slowly got larger, and a woman's head appeared, her body slowly following. Her dark hair was curly and fell to her slender waist, her porcelain skin was practically glowing in the moonlight. Large doe eyes and full red lips adorned her face, and her petite body was clothed in a purple and blue dress that looked vaguely familiar. 'Sorceress,' Arthur thought and placed his hand on his sword hilt. He could see the knights following his example, except Mordred. The youngest knight seemed in awe of the woman before them, though for what reason Arthur didn't know. Everyone tensed when she started walking towards a completely oblivious Merlin, and they were about to charge when Gwen stopped them. Arthur looked at his wife in shock, but she only shook her head. "Look," she whispered as the woman knelt in front of their friend.

"Merlin?" she whispered, laying a hand on top of his head. The servant immediately stopped shaking and went silent. Slowly, he raised his head and his blue eyes shone with disbelief and hope and so much pain when they met the woman's own dark eyes.

"F-Freya?" She smiled sadly in response and he practically launched himself at her. The woman's -Freya's- laughter rang out across the clearing as she wrapped her arms tightly around Merlin's neck and hugged him back. After a few moments they pulled back, and Merlin immediately bent down to press his lips to hers.

If they weren't gaping before, the knights were definitely gaping now. Who the hell was this girl, why the hell did she just walk out of a lake, and why were she and Merlin kissing?!

~0~

Merlin broke the kiss with a wide smile on his face. One hand had risen to cup her cheek, and Freya leaned into his palm, smiling softly at her warlock.

"How much time do we have," he asked her. Freya glanced back towards the Lake then looked down.

"About two hours." Merlin sighed and rested his forehead against her own, trying desperately to quell the rising disappointment and anger rising in him.

He failed.

"Merlin-" Whatever Freya was about to warn him of doing came too late, because Merlin had moved away from her and screamed into his elbow in pure frustration. Even though the sound was muffled slightly, it could still be heard clearly. His eyes flashed a brilliant golden color and several rocks split around him; small bushes were being uprooted and thrown into the wind that was raging around him. After a few moments of this, Merlin collapsed into the sand with silent tears running down his cheeks and his hands shaking.

Arthur felt absolutely frozen. Magic? Merlin -clumsy, idiotic, loyal to a fault Merlin- has magic? He heard many sharp breaths being drawn in and saw the shocked expressions of his knights and Gwen. His wife was gripping his arm tightly, fear and shock warring for dominance on her face. The knights seemed stuck between wanting to turn away and wanting to arrest him -although Gwaine was glaring at the others, as if daring they even move an inch. Arthur turned his gaze back to Merlin -traitor, how could he have LIED to me-

Freya sighed again and settled next to the warlock on the sand. She took his hand and whispered words of comfort until Merlin calmed down enough to sit up next to her. He groaned and ran the fingers of his free hand through his hair harshly.

"Sorry," he muttered sheepishly. "I've been a bit stressed lately."

Freya giggled. "Yes, I can tell." She angled her body towards Merlin and nudged him gently with her knee. "Do you want to talk about it?"

Merlin took a deep breath and let it out shakily. "I just…it's too much. All of it. Arthur, Morgana, Mordred…you." This last word was barely more than a whisper, but it was clearly heard in the silent clearing. The knights turned to look at the youngest knight, who flushed and looked down as if embarrassed or ashamed. 'What does Mordred have to do with anything?' Arthur wondered. "Destinies are troubling things, especially when the man you are meant to protect can never know who you really are, or he'll have you executed."

"You can't believe that Arthur would do that to you."

"Maybe not execution, but banishment?" Another sigh tore through Merlin as he looked up at the moon. "Either way, he'd never forgive me for lying to him this long. Not that I'd really blame him. I've done awful things, Freya." He shook his head dejectedly. "I can't lose him. He is my best friend, and after Lancelot and you and my father and Morgana and Elyan and nearly Gwen," a shudder ran down his spine at the mention of their two previous rescue attempts for the Queen -the first which came with the death of her brother, and the latter was a near fail with Morgana's appearance- along with the accompanying guilt that usually followed. "I refuse to lose any more people I care about."

Freya studied Merlin for a moment before shaking her head slowly. "That's not the only reason you didn't tell him." Merlin stayed silent. "What else was it?"

Merlin let out a breath and looked to the lake. "Honestly," he asked. Freya nodded and waited for him to continue. "Half of me was terrified that Arthur would turn me into Uther, or kill me himself. But the other half…" Arthur and the knights held their breaths, hanging on to every word coming out of their friend's -'He's not your friend, he's a monster, a liar' Arthur's mind whispered- mouth. "The other half was more terrified that he wouldn't. That he would keep my secret from Uther."

Freya stared at Merlin for a moment, before replying, "I don't understand."

Leon shook his head. "Neither do I, for that matter." Arthur could see Gwen shaking her head slightly out of the corner of his eye, expressing her bewilderment as well as his own.

"Arthur was the Crown Prince of Camelot, loyal to his father and to his kingdom. If he was found knowingly harboring a magic user in Camelot, right under Uther's nose, how much trouble would he have been in? He would have been disinherited, Uther would have probably had him thrown in the dungeons for who knows how long once he figured out it wasn't an enchantment that made him hide me, and gods know what else." Merlin shook his head again. "I couldn't let him lie to the king, to his father, and completely ignore the laws just because of me."

Freya visibly hesitated before she seemed to come to a sort of decision. "Do you blame him?" Merlin glanced at her questioningly, so she clarified. "Arthur. Do you blame him, for…" She trailed off slowly, seeing Merlin's eyes alight with a depressed recognition.

"Killing you?" The knights all tensed significantly at that, and the king felt as though his heart stopped. Merlin shook his head sadly. "I did for a whole of two hours. When I carried you here, I was so angry with him, and his father, and the laws, with everything. The unfairness of it all." Gwaine turned harsh, accusing eyes to his king at the slightly broken quality of Merlin's voice. Before Arthur could even formulate a thought, Merlin was continuing.

"Then I got back to Camelot, and I saw him helping the townspeople get to Gaius, even helping bandage up some of the injured. I saw him caring for his Kingdom, and everything just melted away. I was furious heartbroken that you had died, but Arthur didn't know it was you. He didn't know that there was a girl trapped in the bastet's body by a curse. He saw a threat to his people and he sought to eradicate it." Merlin squeezed Freya's hand when she smiled at him. "And it didn't turn out all bad either, I suppose." He nudged his shoulder with hers. "You're the Lady of the Lake now, Guardian of Avalon. That must feel very important."

Freya snorted. "Well, when you get a recommendation for the great and almighty Emrys, one tends to get amazing and important jobs." Merlin chuckled a bit brokenly at her response and sighed again. He glanced up at Freya again and smiled sadly.

"I miss you."

Freya smiled and moved closer to the warlock. "I may be away, Merlin, but I am never gone. Not really." Merlin nodded, but did not look at her. He simply tightened his hold on the girl and they sat staring at the water for a minute before Freya spoke again. "What happened with Morgana is not your fault, my love."

Merlin tensed and shook his head in denial. Arthur, however, was lost.

"How would your sister turning dark side be Merlin's fault," Gwaine asked with his usual tact and sensitivity. Merlin answered their question for them though, when he started to move away from Freya.

"Yes, yes it is. All of this is my fault. If I hadn't been such a coward, if I had just told her, then none of this might have happened. Mordred wouldn't-"

"Mordred has not attempted to kill his king yet." Again everyone froze at Freya's words, and they turned to face the young knight. His usual pale face looked gray in color, his eyes wide and his breathing slightly erratic. "He has no reason to. All he wants is for Emrys, the man who saved him," Merlin squirmed a little at that, "to accept him. And help him. Morgana made her own choices. If you truly wish to succeed, Merlin, then help Mordred. He can't do this without you."

Merlin shook his head in rapid denial, again, and started pacing on the sand. "But destiny-"

"To hell with destiny!" Freya's angry shout caused everyone to stare at her in wonder. They never would have believed that someone with such a small body could infuse so much conviction, or anger, into their voice. "You are Emrys, the last Dragonlord, the most powerful sorcerer to walk the Earth, and the protector of the Once and Future King." Freya calmed a bit and her lips lifted in a wry smile. "I do believe that you can rewrite destiny if you so choose." After a few moments of silence, she moved to stand in front of Merlin again. "If you truly wish to save Arthur, and Mordred, and Camelot-"

"Of course I do!" Merlin stared in shock at her implication of wanted Camelot to fall.

"Then do something about it. I have seen you, my love, and brooding in silence does not suit you." That brought a reluctant chuckle from Merlin's lips, and Freya smiled again. "Talk to him. Start to trust in them both. You might be surprised by their reactions."

"I don't want him to hate me, Freya." Merlin's head dropped onto his chest as he wrapped his arms around himself, as if it was the only thing keeping him together. "I've done so much for this kingdom, and for Arthur, and if he found out even half of it-" Arthur watched in growing trepidation as his manservant -the traitor, the Sorcerer- took a shaky breath. "He would never trust me again."

Freya sighed sadly. "At first, maybe, but Merlin I've seen you two together. I've heard your voice when you speak of him. Your bond is stronger than any I have ever experienced in my life, or seen from beyond." When he still didn't seem convinced, Freya grinned a bit impishly. "After all," she said, "a half cannot truly hate that which makes it whole."

For some reason, that brought a slightly hysterical sounding laugh from Merlin, and soon Freya joined in with her own giggles. They laughed for a minute before Merlin looked up at her. He finally rose to his feet and came to stand in front of Freya. Slowly, almost reverently, he brushed away a strand of hair from her face and tucked it behind her ear.

"I love you, Freya."

Freya's answering smile was blinding, and Merlin continued. "I'll always love you, with all of my heart and soul and spirit, with every ounce of magic in my blood. I'll love you, forever, until the day I die."

Gwen's grip on her husband's hand tightened and she pressed her free hand to her mouth to silence the sniffles. Freya seemed to have a hard time keeping her composure as well, but tears were slowly falling down her cheeks. Small, chocked sounds came from the woman as Merlin kissed her forehead. She gripped his arms tightly and moved as close as she could possibly get to him. They stayed in that position for a while longer, before they moved to sit on the beach as they were before; Freya leaning against Merlin's chest and facing the lake.

Arthur made to get up from his hiding place, and it alerted the others to stand as well. Gwaine moved slightly in front of the two on the beach, and somehow managed to get Mordred behind him as well. "Well, Princess?"

Arthur looked at his knight with a strangely guarded expression. "Well what, Sir Gwaine?"

Gwaine shifted his hand to the hilt of his sword and stared his king in the eyes. "Well, what are you going to do about Merlin?"

Arthur looked at the people with him. His wife was watching him warily, looking ready to jump in front of Merlin and Freya at any given moment. Percival just watched him with a calm expression, though the tense set of his shoulders couldn't be mistaken. Since Lancelot's death, Percival had taken it upon himself to watch after Merlin, in honor of their friend. He would easily defend the servant to his dying breath. The same could obviously be said about Gwaine. The man looked ready to kill Arthur right then and there, then grab Merlin and run as far as he possibly could. Leon looked a bit more conflicted, as he was a knight the longest. Arthur knew, that Leon would follow his orders, even if it hurt him to do so.

Mordred, however, looked desperately terrified. He would not raise his eye to meet Arthur's gaze and stood stock still behind Gwaine. Freya's words danced around in Arthur's head then. 'Mordred has not attempted to kill his king yet.' Yet. Did that mean he was going to? But how would she- 'Right,' he thought. 'She has magic.'

And that brought him back to Merlin.

He was angry. Livid, and understandably so. The man that he thought he could trust with everything -had trusted him with everything- was a sorcerer. He had magic, and he lied to him for nearly ten years. Magic was evil, that's what his father taught him, that's what he has seen. Magic killed his mother, and his father, and turned his sister against him. It claimed the lives of countless innocents, two of Arthur's most trusted friends and loyal knights, and almost took his wife from him as well. How could he ever trust Merlin ever again? 'Why didn't he trust me enough to tell me?' And that's really what it all came down to -trust. Merlin didn't trust him enough to tell him his secret, and that hurt.

But when Arthur looked at the man in question, he remembered everything that he just listened to, everything he learned about his manservant.

He thought about Freya -whom he had apparently killed. And about Lancelot, and Elyan, and Merlin's apparently not-as-absent-as-he-implied father. 'How many people has he lost?'

He thought about how long Merlin had been in Camelot -magic hating Camelot. 'How long has he had to hide his magic from everyone?'

He thought about all the fights, all the bandit ambushes, all the battles. All the times that luck just seemed to be on their side -but only when Merlin was around. How in every situation, Merlin had started by his side and wouldn't show up until after the fight; Arthur had always called him a coward, but now he wasn't confident in that assessment. He thought about the night that Merlin became his manservant -about how that chandelier just snapped and fell onto Mary Collins, and how Merlin had pulled him out of the way of the knife. 'How many times has Merlin saved my life? Or saved Camelot?'

'How many times has Merlin had to listen to me undermine magic, condemn it and those who were accused of practicing?'

'What else has Merlin had to hide, just to keep himself -and anyone that knew of his magic- alive?'

Arthur looked at his companions again and knew without a doubt that, while they were loyal to him and to Camelot, every single one of them would die trying to protect Merlin. Someone who inspired such loyalty, someone who was just so inherently thoughtful and generous and, dare he say it, wise, simply couldn't be evil. And while this betrayal still stung, while he was still angry, he knew that there was more to this story. And if anyone deserved to explain themselves in this type of situation, it was Merlin.

"Arthur?" He glanced at Gwen, whose face was tight with worry for her friend -and her husband. Arthur shook his head slightly and relaxed his shoulders.

"I think that we have eavesdropped on Merlin's conversation long enough." And with that he turned and started walking back to Camelot.

Gwaine was the first person to catch up to him. "That's it, then?"

"What?"

"You're just going to let that go? No offense Princess, but that's not exactly like you."

Arthur stared at him like he had grown another head. "No, that's not the last of it. Obviously, I need to hear what Merlin has to say about all of this. God knows the idiot has spent enough years of his life lying to us." Gwaine was tense again, and Arthur sighed. "Honestly, I'm not going to execute him. I just want to hear him out."

After a few moments of searching Arthur's face, Gwaine seemed to find what he was looking for and he nodded, taking the lead in the trek to Camelot. Arthur turned back towards the lake to see Merlin and Freya still there, just resting on the beach. Gwen slipped her hand into his and squeezed it in silent support. He took a deep breath and turned to follow his knights, with his wife by his side. This is going to be a long night.