So this is inspired by/based on the video, Blind Devotion, which was so sad and sweet and gosh, I have no words. So be prepared as I throw kagehina into this video.

Disclaimer: Haikyuu/Blind Devotion does not belong to me

I love my boyfriend. Every morning I scare him awake in revenge for his snoring, then I make him eggs. The food network says you should only put one thing in eggs, but Tobio likes everything; I think it's gross, but I make them anyways. I also do all the laundry, because the idiot will never separate the colored laundry from the white. He always promises to do them next time, but I'll never let him; I like my whites to be white, thank you very much. And when we play volleyball, I can feel his eyes watching me even as mine are closed as I spike his tosses, and I know he loves me.

000000

One day during the summer heat, I found out I had FCED, Fuchs' corneal endothelial dystrophy. I could barely even pronounce this rare disease that was eating away at my vision.

In other words, I was going blind.

What am I supposed to tell him? How are you supposed to tell the person you love you're going blind? I won't be able to scare him anymore. I can't make his silly eggs with everything. The whites won't be white anymore. We won't be able to play volleyball together anymore.

Maybe he'd be happier with someone else; someone who wasn't a burden.

000000

I can't see anymore.

Everything is just a blur, and I can't even see Tobio's face. But I don't want anyone's pity; I don't want his pity, so I keep to myself. Over the last few months, I have become more and more distant from him. People probably think I don't love him anymore.
He's stopped telling me how much he loves me because I've made it clear that I don't want to hear those words anymore. Those words only achieve in making me feel pathetic and useless, because I've now become more of a patient than a lover, and it makes me want to scream and cry in frustration. I don't want to depend on him; I don't want to become a patient. So I do as much as I'm able to.

Every morning I wake up by myself; I stopped scaring him awake a long time ago. I get up and start making his eggs, but there's only one thing in it now, depending on what I can find with my hands. No more Everything Eggs for breakfast. My slices are awkward and chunky, compared to my previous smooth and uniform ones, and there are now always little pieces of egg shells in it, but I fry it anyways, because he will always eat it. Our whites aren't as white anymore, but I can't tell for sure and Tobio won't say anything about it. I can't play volleyball anymore, but I still attend my regular classes, and I can feel his eyes on my back as he watches me walk away, but now unlike before, it feels like they're burning holes through my flesh, and I want to run away, run away from everything, but I just continue to walk and pretend that my back isn't on fire.
When he goes to volleyball practice I go home, and when I'm at home, alone at last, it is then that I finally allow myself to be weak. I shove my face into my pillow and I scream until my voice cracks which I always later explain to Tobio that it's due to me screaming while watching volleyball games on TV, or maybe the more appropriate term is listening. It's an obvious lie, and I know it and he knows it, but we always leave it at that. Then I'll spend another hour crying and my everlasting pillow will soak up all my emotions so that by the time Tobio comes home, my eyes are dry and all traces of my breakdown are nonexistent, and we go about the rest of our day.

This is how we live our lives now.

My boyfriend is going blind…and he doesn't want my help.

I want to wake up every morning and tell him I love him, that it's all going to be okay. But he doesn't want to hear any of it. I wish I could do all the cooking, but he insists on doing it on his own; he's even figured out how to do the laundry again. He insists on going to class, and going alone and my heart stops every time I think about him crossing the streets.

So even though he doesn't want me to, I follow him every day without him knowing.
Because that's what true love is, right? There's more than just a feeling, there's an action.

Every morning I pretend to be asleep and wrap my arms around his waist and pull him closer to me. When he tries to get up, occasionally I will hold on to him even more tightly so that he can't go. When he's making my eggs, I make sure to leave out the ingredients close enough for him to reach, and when he leaves for class, I follow behind him, making sure no people bump into him, and no cars may drive by him. Our apartment is fairly close to the campus, so when he goes home when he thinks I've left for practice, I trail behind him to make sure he gets home safely, and sometimes I will catch his muffled sobs and I'll watch him fight this disease on his own, and it always motivates me to do my best. Instead of going to practice, I go to my other part-time job, separate from my weekend job, which I've begun so that we'd have enough money to pay our bills, now that he can't work anymore. I've quit the volleyball team a long time ago; there's no point in playing if Shouyou's not there to spike my tosses, but he doesn't know that. When he asks about the team, I'll lie and make something up. During the few weeks we're supposed to go on training camps, I'll take that time to work full shifts at work.

These are the only things I can do for him, and he'll never know it and I don't ever need him to know.
That's how I still love him, even though he doesn't want me to. This is how we live our lives now, and I wouldn't wish for anything more.

I wrote this in one sitting so I apologize for any grammar mistakes.