A/N: Hello Everyone, this is my interpretation of Lily's reaction to the end of her and Severus' friendship. I hope you like it, don't forget to R&R! Thanks. :)
Disclaimer: I do not own the HP characters nor do I gain profit from this.
Tearful Tracks
Red hair veiled the inked parchments spread out on the oak desk as she hunched over. The quill strained in her grasp. Finally, Lily let go, and watched it skitter across. That's all Lily did. She watched Petunia call her a freak and walked away. She watched Severus get bullied by James Potter and his gang, and walked away. Then she watched Severus fall into the string of Death Eaters, and walked away. Eventually she watched Severus call her a mudblood, and walked away. Why should now be any different?
Lily sighed. Even now, Lily still couldn't believe how fast things came and went without a backward glance. Only an hour ago Lily broke away all attachments from Severus. For a moment, Lily's vision crumbled and she forced herself to glance outside the window into the darkness. The remote blackness gazed back at her, hollow and devoid of emotion. Lacking the usual warmth, that Lily had become acquainted with, during their nightly walks under the stars.
Water trickled down the misty glass like tearful tracks, incomplete without the other half, blurred beyond recognition. Her eyes followed a single drop, vacant and bare, leaving a spoilt trail of dried pasty fruit. Just like Lily did when Severus begged her to come back to him.
Twinkling laughter pulled Lily's gaze from the drizzling rain to the smiling and glittering bright eyes of young girls and boys closely huddled together, embracing each other's heat. The kind that could only come from someone you love. Lily's throat throbbed like she'd just swallowed one of Trelawney's crystal balls. Linked hands peeked through between the gaps formed from a circle of friends. A sickly sour taste clogged Lily's mouth. Lily looked away. That used to be her and Severus. Now all Lily saw were stains that never washed away, just as much the arguments between her and Severus never seemed to thin.
"Lily! Lily stop!"
She tucked her arms against her chest and dropped her head. Lily never once lost her stride. She was sick of listening, sick of waiting. "Why should I Severus? What's stopping me from not walking away?"
"Lily, please! Don't." Something in his voice made her hesitate.
She turned back to glance at him. His black hair stuck to his face and hung like curtains around his face. He kept shifting his hands from his pockets to his sides, black eyes searching hers, pleading with her. "Give me a reason."
"R–r–reason," She watched as he stared at her in bemusement. Lily hated herself then, when a spark of guilt struck her cold. So instead of looking at Severus, Lily focused her attention on the trees behind him, snapping and crackling in the breezy wind. "Lily, you can't expect me to leave the dark arts, it's the only thing I'm good at."
Subsequently, Lily refocused her gaze on his. "Find something else." Lily crossed her arms more from the chill than from anything else and pointedly glared at him.
"I can't Lily." He looked so broken then that Lily didn't have the heart to tell him to leave it. "Besides, I'm not doing anything wrong." The sudden warmth that had gripped her heart a moment earlier disappeared and was replaced with an aching truth, that within itself made Lily snap once again.
"You are Sev."
He grit his teeth and curled his hands into fists. Not yet understanding why she wasn't jumping in his favour. "And James Potter isn't?"
Lily rubbed her face, for once tired. "Why don't you drop it Severus?" She narrowed her eyes at him belligerently. "I just don't understand your fascination over dark curses. What's so special about it anyway?"
"You can just lose yourself without fearing the consequences." A blank film covered his eyes making him deaf to the world.
"Maybe that's the problem," whispered Lily.
The reason him and her never met eye to eye. Lily could never break those threads that always lead Severus back to the darkness. Maybe if she had cut that thread sooner, there might have been a chance. But as always, all Lily ever did was walk away.