Five times Loki was forgotten, and one time he was not.
Ch. 1
A/N~ Originally a one-shot on my AO3 account, it now has continuations…god help me *sobs* please enjoy! All those who love a Good!Mama Laufey will hopefully enjoy this!
Enjoy!
So…
Shall we start now?
~S~
X~X~X~X~X~X~X
Today was supposed to be a great day.
Today was supposed to be that one special day every child gets every decade or so, that one day they get to be a king (or queen) for a day in their family and friends' eyes.
Loki is but a child, but today he is a decade older.
But no one knows this.
Because no one seemed to remember that it was his birthday today.
When he woke up that morning, he was giddy and excited, rushing to the dining hall to be surprised and delighted by a grand birthday breakfast. He giggled to himself as he stood outside the large double doors leading to the royal dining hall, mentally preparing himself for the grandeur and glitz of a birthday.
But when he had opened the door, a wide smile splitting his face, he was greeted to not but his parents and older brother, Thor.
There was no grand feast. There were no presents piled up in the corner. There were none of his few friends, no guests, no fellow children – there was nothing.
Loki was at first stunned, too busy gaping at his parents and Thor, who was noisily eating his breakfast and talking about some kind of new fighting technique he learned in training to Odin. It took her a moment, but when Frigga noticed the doors were open and her son was standing there, she looked up and smiled.
"There you are, Loki. We thought you had wanted to skip breakfast," she said, before she frowned in concern at Loki's stunned look, "Is something the matter?"
A beat passed before Loki shook his head, and numbly shuffled to take his seat. But he did not eat anything. His brain was a mess, trying to figure out what was wrong with this whole thing.
'Did they forget…?' he wondered, eyes watering.
No! No, of course not. Maybe he got today's date wrong. He always lost track of time whenever he was studying. Maybe he was just off on the day. Or if it was today, maybe his parents and Thor were planning a bigger surprise today. Or maybe a dinner celebration! That had to be it.
And besides, even if everyone else forgot, his parents and brother wouldn't!
Right?
Hours passed, and with those minutes and seconds, went the very day itself. There was no surprise party or feast. To everyone, it was just a normal day. And even still, as the day progressed, Loki did not let a single tear fall.
It was only when night fell, and he was safe and alone in his rooms, Loki broke.
They forgot his birthday…
X~X~X~X~X~X
Loki is but a young boy just entering his teens when he graduations from his Seidr lessons. He was at the top of his class, and had surpassed even his teachers. He had even finished and mastered his studies a decade earlier than everyone else!
He had been so excited, running to tell his mother and father of the news, his elderly tutor just barely on his heels.
Frigga had been so proud, smiling and patting his head. Odin had been as stony as ever, grunting his congratulations to Loki. But that was normal, and any praise from Odin was hard earned and even harder won.
"We shall celebrate tonight, Loki." Frigga had said, promising to throw Loki a feast and to speak with a new, more advanced, tutor for future lessons.
On that same day, Thor had mastered his weapons training with a sword. He had run to his parents with his gruff and burly teacher on his heels to his parents, and both seemed to glow with their pride for their eldest son.
"We're so proud of you, Thor!" Frigga beamed, hugging her son tightly.
Odin cracked the tiniest smile, squeezing his eldest son's shoulder.
"Well done, my son." He said, "We shall celebrate tonight."
Loki watch on, slightly hurt by the excess of praise his brother received, while he himself had gotten the bare minimum.
He shook his head. No, this would not be like his birthday. Even if it was only he who remembered everyone forgetting his birthday, no one having remembered even after it had long passed, he knew it would not be the same…
Right?
The celebration was grand. The mead was flowing for the adults, and warrior children ran about laughing and swinging their wooden swords. Parents laughed and cheered, sweets and sugary treats only fueling the energy of the youths that had attended the night's celebration.
But none of it was for Loki.
During a lull in the party, Odin rose from his seat and virtually sung praise of his eldest son's accomplishments. From his achievement in weapons training, to his power as an honorable warrior, Thor was praised and celebrated like the god and king he was to be.
And Loki just stood in his corner alone, smiling on as his oblivious brother beamed and laughed over the uproarious celebrations.
The party lasted long into the night, but Loki left early, claiming to be tired. He congratulated his brother and wished his parents a good night. They barely even noticed.
When he retired to his rooms once more, alone and standing in the dark, Loki fell onto his bed and wept.
They forgot his own accomplishments.
X~X~X~X~X~X
When he is but a teenager, Loki finds courage and lures the great horse Svadilfari away from Asgard in the form of a beautiful mare.
And in leading the great horse away, he vanished for almost a year.
And when he returned it was with an eight-legged colt in hand.
A part of him was expecting a warm, surprised welcome. He expected to see the shocked expressions of those who had been searching high and low for the second prince, of joyous cheering and welcoming hugs as he came out nearly a year of being gone.
He did not receive such a welcome.
He was greeted by his family once he returned to the palace, his parents asking in subdued resolve where he had been, and where did he get such a hideous creature?
Loki told them. He told them how he had lured Svadilfari away from Asgard so he and its owner could not finish Asgard's wall, and therefore would have no need to give up Freya as payment. He told them how the great horse had caught him, forced itself upon Loki, and saddled him with this strange yet wonderful colt.
If he could not garner care from them for being gone for so long, perhaps he could at least gain sympathy…
Right?
Oh how wrong he was.
Disgusted, Odin ordered the colt, Sleipnr, to be locked away like the beast he represented. Frigga broke down into tears, unable to look at her son – her own child, violated, by an animal. The shame was almost too much for her. And Thor…
Well, he wasn't known for keeping his mouth shut.
Within a day, Asgard knew of what had been done to Loki. How he had been violated by a horse, how he had been saddled with a freakish child, and how said child was forcibly taken away from him. And he gained no sympathy.
They called him Ergi, a freak, a slut who would lay with any and all beast if it meant his own pleasure.
It was hardly a welcoming homecoming…
Alone in his old chambers – full of dust and left just as they were a year ago, not even touched by maids – Loki did not weep.
He only set a few tears fall before he fell into bed, exhausted and heartbroken.
They forgot he had been hurt…
X~X~X~X~X~X
When Loki is barely a man, just on the cusp of adulthood, he makes a few friends in the Dwarves.
They themselves, shunned by the Realms, and only sought after for things they can give. Their deformed appearances and gruff demeanors often put people off – but not Loki. He made friends with a few talented Dwarves of whom were proud of their wares and crafts.
Loki marveled at their creations, so engrossed in the wonders of giving shape and form to what were once mere thoughts.
And he bragged about their work – he told everyone he knew how wonderful his friends were, how no other man – or Dwarf – could best them.
His words reached the shriveled ears of the Dwarf known as Brokkr, and he was outraged by them.
Confronting the youngest prince, the Dwarf and Loki made a bet; if Brokkr beat Loki's friends in a contest of craftsmanship, the Dwarf would win Loki's head.
No doubts for his friends' talents, Loki agreed.
But he lost.
And he was to lose his head.
It was so odd. He walked with his head held high to a chopping block with an axe, all of Asgard gathered for the spectacle. Even his parents and Thor were there. And his friends. But no one came ot his defense, to plead with the Dwarf to spare his life. Not his mother, not his father, not his brother, and not even his friends.
But then he saw a silver lining as he touched his neck.
"I promised you my head," he said to Brokkr, "Not my neck. And you would need to cut my neck to take my head. I am afraid our bargain is null."
Outraged cries rose from the crowd, much to Loki's shock. Did they honestly want him dead? For him to lose his head in the indignity of something as stupid as a bet?
Was he truly so hated…?
But Brokkr was not swayed. Fuming, he turned to Odin and demanded retribution; he won the contest fair and square, which is more than he could say for the Trickster. Loki looked ot his father, his eyes pleading; do not do this, please, help me. I am your son!
…aren't I?
Odin took a moment to think, before he nodded to Brokkr and announced to Asgard,
"In place of having his head cut off, Prince Loki of Asgard shall submit to having his mouth sewn shut, to prevent anymore lies or boastful words to leave his lips."
The crowd rejoiced, and Loki felt his heart plummet into his feet. What…?
He was stunned; too stunned to even utter a sound of pain as a burning needle was pushed into his lips with a coarse thread. His eyes, wide and staring at his so called family, were like emerald flames.
'How could you…?' he thought, his very rage and hopelessness visible for all to see.
Laughter could be heard as he was made to walk back to the palace in shame, his mouth shut tight with blood soaked threads that could not be broken.
Away from Asgard's people, Loki stood in his rooms, his heart not but a cold furnace for his apathy.
He wanted to cry. But he could not.
His own friends forgot about him…
X~X~X~X~X~X
When Thor leads Loki, the Warriors Three, and Sif into Jotunheim, Loki feels nothing. Letting the Jotnar into the vault, ruining Thor's coordination…his brain and common sense told him it was for the best. Thor was not ready to be king. He was too arrogant, too cruel and vain and driven by lust for war. He would be Asgard's downfall.
But his heart, broken, beaten, and battered, it told him it was wrong. He had no reason whatsoever to save the people of Asgard – the same people who would sooner wish to see him bloodied and broken than keeping their golden prince from the throne.
'What am I even doing anymore…?' he wondered.
He almost laughs. What, indeed…
And when Thor confronts Laufey, Loki feels a sense of déjà vu. He observes the Frost Giant King, a curious sort of fascination taking over.
"You know not what your actions would unleash…" Garnet eyes become distant, a strange flash of some unknown emotion flits over Laufey's face – Loki cannot name it, but he has ifelt/i it.
"I do…" Laufey rumbled softly, before he steeled himself and glared at Thor and his companions, "Go now, while I still allow it."
Loki manages to coax Thor away, to forget this silly folly. It wasn't worth it! And besides…he didn't want to attack these giants for some reason. He felt he could not. He should not.
But an ill-timed insult from a Jotun guard opens the floodgates. Chaos ensures.
And in the throes of battle, a Jotun grabs his arm.
A chill races through his body, and his armor and sleeve crumbles away from the sheer cold of the Jotun's touch. And when his hand meets his pale skin, it turns blue.
Both freeze in shock, the Jotun looking up at Loki in confusion and suspicion. But Loki could do nothing but stare at his arm, horror and a vague sense of curiosity diluting his thoughts.
"Retreat!"
He barely hears Sif call the retreat, nor does Loki register the sound of the BiFrost opening again. It takes the combined efforts of Hogun and Volstagg and drag Thor to the BiFrost. And in a flash of light they were gone.
But Loki was still there.
He was still held in the Jotun's grip.
They did not come back to get him.
They probably didn't even realize he wasn't with them.
And in the moment, far from his warm and secluded chambers, Loki laughed.
He did not cry, for he had no more tears to give.
They had forgotten him.
X~X~X~X~X~X
When the first prince of Asgard set foot on his realm, Laufey knew no good could come of it.
But there was little to nothing he could do to stop or send the irate brats back to their golden realm. Honestly, hadn't they done enough as it was? Asgard won the war, stole their Casket, destroyed thousands of lives, stole his mate's life…
But most importantly, they killed his first born.
He could recall that day lie it was yesterday. The war raging, his tiny, fragile, beautiful baby, clutched in his arms and unafraid of the chaos outside the nursery walls. He had only been a young king back then, having succeeded the throne early after his Sire passed from illness.
Young, naïve, and his mind focused solely on his tiny baby, Laufey had wanted to expand trading routes to provide more for his people, something his Sire never deemed a good idea. Midgard had its own poles, and they barely inhabited the north and south sides of the compass. What better place to set up a few settlements? It was the perfect place to start growing new crops, to perhaps open early treaties with Midgard before anyone else could get to them.
But Odin, just as young a king if not slightly older, he was greedy. Just like his father, Bor, he was a tyrant who demanded everyone to submit to him – even other realms. And if anyone, realm or person, refused to bow to him, he would make them bow.
Laufey remembered how terrified he had been, using every source he could to try and get a message to Odin, begging him to explain himself. They were only going to Midgard for agricultural reasons! They were not trying to subjugate the realm!
But any and all calls and pleas fell on deaf ears, and Odin ravaged Jotunheim.
Terrified for his baby, Laufey hid him in the temple with the Casket. Odin may be a cruel animal, but he would never set bloodied foot on their sacred ground…
…right?
And yet…
It was all gone.
The Casket, his beloved Fárbauti, his people, his kingdom, and his beloved son, his Loptr. All of it had been taken, murdered…
But he never would have guessed his heir had been stolen.
He watched on as his warriors and the Asgardians fought one another, his heart heavy from the memories.
But when he looked up, catching sight of one of his guards grabbing the arm of the second prince, he felt something in his apathetic resolve shatter.
Prince Loki, his arm caught by the Jotun, seemed to expect his very flesh to rot and freeze away. Laufey himself expected as much to happen. But it did not.
Instead, Laufey could only watch in open shock as the prince's arm turned blue, and familiar markings not unlike his own rose upon the sky blue skin. Markings he himself had traced when the prince, as a baby, had first been placed in his arms. Markings only passed down from the Dams of Laufey's house.
Loptr's markings.
And when Thor and his companions left their second prince behind, lost and alone in a land of giants and ice, he rose from his throne and approached the stunned and hurt figure.
The guard holding Loki's arm backed away and released Loki's arm, prompting the prince into looking up with wide, terrified eyes at Laufey.
It hurt in a way, seeing his own, Aesir skinned son afraid of him. But Laufey did not falter.
Instead, he dropped to his knees before the young prince, reached his arms out, and tightly embraced his lost child. Frozen tears ran down his aged and scarred face, but he paid them no heed.
Loki, locked in the giant king's arms, was beyond shocked, if not disturbed. But as he watched his pale skin turn from its milky color to a powdery blue, he suddenly understood.
He listened to the deep drum thrumming deeply and thunderously in Laufey's chest; this was the same heart he had slept under before he had been born, cradled in the giant's belly as he listened to his favorite lullaby through the flesh.
This embrace, it was different from what he would gain from his family. This embrace, from a Frost Giant, felt warmer, tighter. This was a true embrace. This was a mother's embrace.
This was a mother's love.
This is what it was like to be remembered.
And for the first time in his long, agonizing life, Loki wept tears of happiness and relief.
As he cried, his heart thawed and rejoiced.
He never wanted the throne.
He never wanted the crown.
He only ever wanted three things.
Love.
Respect.
And to be remembered…
X~X~X~X~X~X~X~X
A/N~ And more coming! 8D
~S~