( AUTHOR'S NOTE: So, with this chapter, we've crested the hill on this thing and reached the midpoint! I'm really glad that we're at the heart of the fic now, because this is where things kick up a little. That said, this chapter is a little lengthier than the ones before it, so I thank you for bearing with me here.

As a halfway-through bonus, some of you may have noticed that this fic has cover art now. Check it out here if you'd like to see the full version with Louise and Jessica as depicted in this fic— tinyurl dot com/pn7w89m )

Louise had begun to reconsider her decision to play the keyboard for the play.

Firstly, the play hardly qualified as a play. As she quickly learned, the performance was a stage adaptation of an old Thundergirls legend-slash-song: Penny-Anne, The Thundergirl Who Never Gave Up. Louise wasn't sure if something that had been invented less than fifteen years ago qualified as a legend, but Ginny said that it did, and that the story was a huge part of the inherent Thundergirls identity, so she managed to keep her mouth shut.

("What is it about?" Millie had asked, puzzled, as Ginny handed out the scripts to the production crew.

"I have a feeling it's about a Thundergirl named Penny-Anne who never gives up," said Louise seriously.

"How did you know?" Ginny asked, pleased.)

Secondly, she flat out couldn't play the keyboard. Louise sat in the recreational hall in front of a brand new keyboard, playing one of the three songs Gene had taught her. Counselors from other cabins worked in teams, poring over set designs and costuming decisions (more than once Louise could hear Millie cackling as she poked someone, usually Vicky, with a pin). Louise was not having much success at her station.

She slammed her hands down on the keyboard. Ginny's dog, who was resting at her feet, lifted his head and whined sharply at the commotion.

"I know, Mopsy!" Louise said hopelessly. "I know."

Jessica strode over, cringing. She had a script clutched in her hands and two highlighters tucked into the pocket on her uniform shirt. Louise had teased her yesterday about signing on as director, but Jessica had been insistent that it was a role that she actually wanted to see through. Somehow, Louise felt as though she were regretting it today. Jessica spoke cautiously. "You were doing okay up until that last part. But wasn't that the beat to California Love? Like... 2Pac?"

"Yes," said Louise bluntly. "It's the third song Gene taught me."

"Really," said Jessica. "What were the first two?"

"Uhhh." Louise stared down at the keys. "You ever seen the Keyboard Cat video?"

Jessica grimaced. "I'm not sure if we can put on Penny-Anne with those two things as our soundtrack."

"Fuck," gurgled Louise. "You're telling me." Logically she knew she should be able to put together the ability to play other songs based on what she already knew, but she had learned by watching and memorizing. Gene hadn't actually filled her in on what any of the keys meant or how they aligned, probably because it wasn't something he cared for himself.

A hand reached down to gently cup her shoulder. Louise's stomach did a half-turn as she looked up at Jessica, who was smiling. Her stomach had been doing that a lot lately around her co-counselor. It was becoming a veritable gymnast. "It's fine," said Jessica. "Soon-Mi knows how to play, too." Her hand moved away.

Louise could still feel the weight of Jessica's hand against her shoulder. She asked, somewhat belatedly, "Um— who's, uh, Soon-Mi?"

"That's Vicky's first name," said Jessica, glancing over to where the Sparkle Cabin counselors were deciding between two brightly colored cottons. Millie was waving pair of scissors around like a sword, and Vicky was leaning away from them, obviously terrified.

Feeling affronted that Jessica was apparently on a first-name basis with Vicky, Louise reddened, a bizarre mixture of frustration and jealousy rocking through her— feelings she typically reserved for special occasions, like when sending hate mail to the comic book store that had denied her a reserve on a limited edition Hawk and Chick commemorative placard. "No way," said Louise, irritated. "I can do it, okay?"

Jessica gave her a somewhat puzzled look; Louise couldn't exactly fault her for her confusion, because she'd snapped at her pretty abruptly. "Alright," she said. "Keep me posted." And then she was walking away. Louise stared after her.

Truthfully, Louise had begun feeling weirder and weirder around Jessica with each passing hour. The kickoff point of those uncomfortable feelings had been two days ago, when she'd been sitting on Jessica's bed with her, and Jessica had said, I think I'll miss you when this thing is over, and there had been... Well, there had been something there. Louise just wasn't sure what. The constant proximity to Jessica wasn't exactly helping matters, either. They slept on the same bunk bed, shared a bathroom, ate the same meals, and attended basically every daily event together as co-counselors. The constant exposure to Jessica compounded with the bizarre feelings she refused to acknowledge had begun to drive Louise slightly insane.

She knew exactly what her older sister and brother would have to say if they were here. Tina had been with the same boy since middle school, and Gene was no stranger to relationships. The both of them would certainly shove the whole thing in her face.

But that was impossible. For one, Louise was self-determined as functionally aromantic and asexual for years. Boo Boo certainly did not count; he was more of a 'Tina, if I lost an arm, I wouldn't want a new one unless he agreed to cut his off and personally sew it onto me' thing. (That was a thing, Louise insisted. Nobody else had ever agreed.) She even remembered the very incident that had put her non-romantic inclinations in concrete: it had been the day that Andy Pesto had made a move on her.

That day was two years ago at a party held by Tammy Larsen. Her dad was on a business trip, she'd said over the phone, and her mother was... She was somewhere-or-other; Louise hadn't really listened. "They're taking Tammy Time!" her unwanted hostess had enthused. "So, um, you know, Tina's invited, and..." Louise still had her in a proverbial headlock— Tammy had made good on the promise (it had been more like extortion) to invite Tina to all future parties. "You're, like, sixteen now, right?"

"Fourteen."

"Haha! Good enouuuugghhhh!" Tammy rasped in her staticky shriek of a voice that made Louise want to punt her between the legs. "There's gonna be ALCOHOL and BOYS and you better come!"

That was the first night Louise had ever had more than half a cup of wine at the dinner table once a month (Linda called it Special Saturday Night Bonding Time). Tina had disappeared somewhere in the basement after about an hour of exchanging significant glances with Jimmy Jr. Everyone around Louise was kissing.

She lay on the carpet, eyes closed, trying to quell the dizziness that was causing her brain to ricochet from one side of her skull to the other. It was peaceful, for a moment, until Andy Pesto appeared above her, his face filling her vision when she opened her eyes.

"Hey, Louise! Do you wanna make out?" he had asked her brightly. "Everyone else is making out, even Ollie— he's right over there if you want to see him. Wait, who's that girl he's with? Haha, I dunno! Hi, Ollie!"

"Hi, Andy!" came the reply from across the room.

"Hey, Ollie! You— oh, okay, you're kissing that girl again! Never mind! I'll catch up with you as soon as possible!" Andy's face then pressed close to hers. His breath smelled stale. "Well—" he began.

Do I want to make out, Louise thought to herself as she stared up at his unappealing face. She could not think of anything in the world she wanted to do less at that moment, except maybe being doused in gasoline and set on fire, or being forced on a cross-country trip across Canada.

"I'd rather grind off all of my fingertips with a belt sander than kiss you," Louise responded sincerely. The room spun.

That had been the end of that. From that day onward, Louise had told anyone who asked that she was not compatible with anyone relationship-wise. Hell, she had a tough enough time approving friendships; developing anything for anyone beyond platonic tolerance seemed to be downright impossible.

This put her in a stalemate with Jessica, which was completely unfair on the other girl, because she wasn't even aware that Louise was carrying a sort of grudge against her. That had made her less than pleasant to be around lately, and Jessica seemed to becoming more and more aware of that. If her feelings were hurt, however, she was not forthcoming with how she felt... which just made the stalemate even more pointless and counter intuitive.

She was roused from her thoughts by Millie's sing-song voice. "Louise!" Mopsy gave a little bark as Millie made room for herself on Louise's seat, nudging her off to the side with a hip. Louise looked up at her. Today Millie wore her hair in a fluffy bun on top of her head that made her look like a Dr. Seuss character. The sparkly pink eyeshadow she wore only contributed to her cartoonish appearance. In one hand she cradled the caterpillar moth that they had uncovered days ago.

"Break time," Millie said cheerfully. "Do you take requests, Louise?"

Louise tried to shift away, but she couldn't get very far without falling off of the chair entirely. "No," she said. "You can get back to me when I learn how to actually play."

"Ooooh," said Millie sympathetically. "That's too bad. Lou really wanted to hear You Oughta Know." She held up the caterpillar moth.

Paling, Louise looked down at the insect and then up into Millie's round face. "You named it after me?" Gross.

Millie pretended as though she hadn't heard what Louise had said, shifting gears entirely. "Jay-kay," she said. It took Louise a moment to understand that she was pronouncing the Internet abbreviation. "I know you can't play. The real question is what'd Jessica do to piss you off?"

"Um, what?" was all Louise could say, alarmed that Millie had picked up on anything out of the ordinary when it came to herself and Jessica.

Leaning over the keyboard to gently place Lou the caterpillar moth down on one of the keys, Millie flashed a dazzling smile. "Nothing gets past your bestie," she said. "And by that I mean me. Nothing gets past me."

"Again," said Louise. "You and I. Not friends. Ever. But." She hesitated. "What did you see?" She loathed the idea of reaching out to Millie for insight; it was truly a sign of just how far she'd fallen.

It was a mistake to even bother. "Oh, Louise!" Millie said, laughing warmly. She reached over and squeezed her arm, her eyes sparkling with unrestrained glee over this bit of leverage she now held over Louise. "It's not going to be that easy!"

And then she stood up, scooping Lou back into one hand, leaving Louise hot in the face and seething.

•

With nine days left of camp, Louise had supposed that she was doing a pretty good job of negotiating her homesickness. It had plagued her mostly at night, right before going to sleep, and in the mornings— times when she felt the most lonely. But it had been pretty manageable for the most part. What brought it out in full force was the day's activity schedule: cooking.

"Burgers," said Jessica, amused. She had spread the schedule out on the table at breakfast. "Is that really something you can get away with teaching little girls?"

"I was already doing it when I was eight," said Louise, and normally she would have said this in a bragging manner, but right now all she could think of was the family restaurant and how badly she missed its familiar sights and smells.

"That's not really something children should aspire to," said Jessica. "I mean, because of the legalities."

Louise wanted to say something about having her father retroactively arrested under child labor laws, but her heart wasn't in it. She just shook her head silently. Jessica sat there, looking somewhat expectant; when Louise failed to parry back, her expression clouded, and she went quiet as well.

Fire pit cooking wasn't exactly something her father had taught her, but the physical labor of digging out the pit and then building it up was satisfying work, and once the fire was lit and the grill placed on top, Louise felt somewhat mournful. The campers hovered around, most of them wistfully wishing for marshmallows and chocolate rather than the container of raw meat that sat nearby. Louise thumbed through her manual listlessly, trying to decide on a good instructional starting point.

Mom would love this, she thought as she stared at the fire pit. Her stomach felt like it had been scooped out.

Jessica was eyeing her with abject concern. Louise cursed herself for being so transparent. She stiffened. "Okay," she said, a little too loudly. "Can I get an assistant? Sydney? June?" She watched the campers shrink back, none of them wanting to get too close to the raw meat or to the fire.

"I volunteer," said Jessica tentatively.

Louise hesitated before deciding that she had to suck up whatever it was that had her feeling so weird. "Okay, Raw Dough," she said. When the campers stared in confusion, she amended, somewhat awkwardly: "Jessica. Come here."

Ten minutes later, they were working over the grill together as Louise explained as patiently as she could just what she was doing and why. The protective gloves that had been given to the campers were so huge and oversized that they rode straight up to their elbows, and it made it difficult for the children to grip the tongs at all. Louise wound up doing the majority of the work.

But her mind was still on the restaurant and on her family. She wondered what they were doing right then. The restaurant would be open at this time of day, and summer was always their busy season— well, what passed for busy at Bob's Burgers, anyway. Her father was probably losing even more hair without Louise around to run the till and finagle larger tips. Her mother had likely already broken the padlock on her bedroom door and was redecorating the entire thing, something Louise thought she might not even mind at this point. They would all be working twice as hard without her. For a moment, Louise could not believe that she had ever wanted to leave in the first place, and she suddenly felt bitterly selfish and remorseful. If she had just stayed — if she'd never answered that help wanted advertisement in the newspaper — she wouldn't be feeling this way. She would never have met Jessica again, either, which would have saved her a whole lot of confusion and heartache.

A voice interrupted her thoughts— the voice of the last person currently occupying them. "You okay?"

Louise lowered the tongs and looked up at Jessica, who stood behind her shoulder. Jessica was frowning at her slightly, her sharp eyes creased by the furrow of her brow. Louise's throat tightened.

How unfair, she thought. Jessica had shut her out several days ago when she'd reached out to her, brushing away her admittedly awkward attempts to connect. Now she was returning the favor, and Louise was even less inclined to cooperate.

"I'm fine," she said stiffly, prying another burger off of the grill and placing it onto a plate held in Georgia's waiting hands. The children shuffled around brandishing bottles of condiments, howling occasionally when mustard wound up on a shirt.

"You just seem sort of..." Jessica trailed off. She shifted, folding her arms across her chest in a pose that looked unusually vulnerable on her. "I don't know. Out of it lately."

"Amazing," said Louise dryly, sarcasm coming faster to her than anything else. "You're really observant."

Jessica's arms tightened over her chest. She slanted an eyebrow at Louise, looking startled. "Okay," she said. "That's fair. I don't know what I did to deserve that, but that's fair."

Immediately she felt like the worst person alive standing before a person that she really did genuinely like. Feeling nauseous and angry with herself, Louise put the tongs down. "I didn't mean that," she said weakly. "Sometimes things just come outta my mouth—"

"Yeah," said Jessica. "That seems to happen a lot with you." Her tone was just flat and measured enough for Louise to read it as detached, and she backed away from the grill, sirens winding up loudly in her mind. She could not stand the stifling atmosphere for even one more minute.

"Excuse me," she said. "Can you take over? I'll be back soon."

Before Jessica could answer, Louise was turning to go, rushing off so quickly that her bunny ears nearly flew off of her head.

•

Mopsy was hanging around outside of the staff building when she got there. He lumbered to his feet and began huffing happily at the sight of her. Although she was stewing in her own regret and anger, Louise paused long enough to kneel and pet him, leaning down to bury her face in the soft fur of his neck.

"Miss Belcher?"

Louise turned slightly, her arms still wrapped around the dog, to look up at Ginny, who stood there with an expression of surprise and consternation. Normally, she might have been slightly dismayed to see her, but Ginny was exactly who she was looking for right now. "Hey," said Louise reluctantly, letting go of Mopsy and hauling herself to her feet. "Um." She realized that she had no idea how to word her request.

Ginny, however, seemed to understand somehow. For all of her neuroses, she seemed to perceive something important now. "Is there something I can help you with?" she asked, her expression creasing in a puzzled manner.

"I know it's only for emergencies, really," said Louise, feeling somewhat ashamed. There was a hard lump in her throat that made it even more difficult to force out what she had to say. How humiliating. She resolved to have herself lobotomized the moment she got home: surely it would take care of this sort of weakness along with every other embarrassment she'd suffered since arriving at this prison of a camp. "But I was wondering if I could place a phone call. Not a long one. I just want to talk to my Mom."

She fully expected Ginny to say no. After all, the camp director was not subtle with her general wariness towards her, and Louise knew well that she hadn't exactly been a top priority in the hiring process. But Ginny proceeded to surprise her. "Of course, Louise," she said, and Louise did not miss out on the significance of Louise instead of Miss Belcher.

"Thank you," she said, stunned, unable to come up with anything else. She and Mopsy followed Ginny inside of the staff building. Ginny retrieved her keys from a pocket and unlocked her office, holding the door open.

"Is ten minutes alright?" she asked.

"Yeah," said Louise, still shocked that Ginny was permitting this at all.

"You have to dial 9 first to call out," said Ginny. "I'll be back soon." She whistled down at Mopsy, who turned in two and half a circles before bounding off with her as she shut the door.

Louise found herself alone in Ginny's office once more, and now she felt bad for the instances she'd sneaked in before. Rather than take advantage once more of the ability to access camp files, she sank down into Ginny's comfortable chair and pulled the phone across the desk. She pressed 9 and then punched in the number for the restaurant, her hands feeling weak and shaky.

"Bob's Burgers!" answered her mother on the other end of the line. Louise had never heard a sound more comforting.

"Mom," she said, clearing her throat to force the knot out of it. "Hey."

"Oh!" Linda gasped. "Louise! Hi, honey!" There was a rustling sound, and her voice became a little quieter as she shouted, presumably towards the kitchen, "Bobby, it's Louise!" Then her voice came back strong into the receiver. "What are you doin' calling us outta nowhere?"

"Um, it's nothing." Louise's chest was already swelling with comfort and familiarity. She crossed her legs tightly beneath the desk.

"You hurt? You get a fish hook to the eye? You got poison ivy on your butt?" Linda suddenly sounded deeply concerned. "Do I gotta come get ya?"

"No!" Louise yelped. "No, Mom." Relief flooded through her as sweet and pure as spring water. She felt better already just listening to her mother's voice. "I just, uh. I wanted to talk to you."

"That's great!" bubbled Linda happily. "Oh, this is a riot. It's like how it's gonna be ten years from now, when you're livin' on your own and you only call back to talk to your poor parents occasionally. You know, when our entire relationship'll be based on that one phone call you'll toss at us once a month."

"Stop! It's never going to be like that," said Louise, but she was grinning.

"Well," said Linda. "How are you likin' it? Are you itching to come home?"

Louise debated how truthful she should be, reanalyzing why she'd called her mother to begin with. In the end, honesty won out for once in her life. "Sort of," she mumbled. "We've been... really busy. I just started thinking of you guys a lot today."

"Aw, sweetheart," said Linda soothingly. "You got, what, eight days? Nine? You'll be home right away. Thank god, too. You hear about the heart attack your freakin' brother gave us?"

"Uh... I take it Gene dropped the sabbatical bomb on you."

"I can't believe it!" groaned Linda. "Your father's a mess over it. I think he might be dying."

"It's important to Gene," said Louise, although whenever she thought of her brother leaving and how soon it would be, she felt a little lost, too. "I think he was always meant to do that kind of thing."
"What? Wander Asia learning new yoga techniques?"

"Sure," said Louise. "Sure, Mom. That sounds pretty safe for work and family-friendly enough for you and Dad to digest."

"Don't you get started," admonished Linda. "Your brother's a very safe gal."

"Stop," said Louise with slowly growing horror, not wanting to get into the specifics.

"So then tell me about camp," Linda pressed.

Louise thought it over. "It's fine. I mean, aside from Millie. And the fact that I'm really not ever going to be great with kids, but I wasn't riding any hopes on that one."

"Millie Frock's a nice girl," said Linda. "You just try to be good with her, Louise."

Despite her best efforts, Linda had never fully understood the grudge Louise stubbornly held against Millie. She decided that, given her limited time on the phone, today was not the day to rehash her argument. Instead she said, "Uh, and my co-counselor. Jessica."

"Oh, right," said Linda keenly. "Tina and Gene mentioned you were in a cabin with your little slumber party pal! I remember her. She was real good for you, Louise. It was so sad when she moved away! I tried so hard to find you a friend, and I found you one, and she just up and leaves! Go figure."

"Uggghhhh," groaned Louise, embarrassed.

"Maybe she can come visit you when your little camp thing is over," said Linda hopefully. She was always ready to encourage anything that hinted towards Louise developing a social life that extended outside of Tina, Gene, and occasionally Rudy Steiblitz.

Oh, shit. Jessica visiting? Louise hadn't even considered it before. She'd been so wound up in the thought that Jessica would be heading back up to Wellington; everything outside of her hometown seemed as though it might as well be as far away as the moon, really. "I don't know," she said, feeling strangely anxious about the idea. "I mean, I don't even know if we're, uh, friends."

"You're not gettin' along?" Linda sounded disappointed.

"Sort of," Louise muttered. "I'm not sure. Being around her kind of bums me out." That wasn't really the truth, not entirely, but she had no other way to word what she'd been feeling lately, and she certainly wasn't about to say anything along the lines of I'm kind of scared because I'm not used to what's going on in my head.

Linda zeroed right in on Louise's insecurity. "If you wanna cry, baby, it's fine. You go on and cry! Mommy's listening."

"I don't want to cry at you!" Louise sputtered. "Mom, I'm almost seventeen!"

"You're never too old to cry to your mama. Gene was crying to me just yesterday. He lost an auction on eBay." Linda sighed. In the background, Louise could hear the register chime. "Look, you just keep your chin up, okay? Sometimes people don't mesh right. Sometimes you meet a Ginger, and sometimes you don't. You just make the best of it, okay? You're my bright-eyed, bushy-tailed lil' bunny."

It was, at best, vague and cheesy advice, but it was somehow exactly what Louise needed to hear. She gnawed on her lower lip, wishing she could hug her mother at that moment. "Thanks, Mom," she said softly. Ginny appeared in the doorway; apparently her ten minutes were up. Louise was fine with that. "I gotta go now."

"Well, it was great to hear from you, baby!" said Linda warmly. "You write us another letter, okay?"

"Okay," said Louise. Although Ginny was standing right there and it made her feel embarrassed to say it, she said, "I love you. Tell Dad that, too."

"You got it, Louise," said Linda. "We love you, too. We'll see you in a week."

Louise hung up the phone and stood from the desk, looking at Ginny. "Thanks," she said gratefully, and she truly meant it.

"Of course, Miss Belcher," said Ginny. "You might find it hard to believe, but I care about your welfare." And then she smiled, moving aside to let Louise back out through the door.

Louise believed her. "I know," she said. "Second-favorite boss I've ever had, Ginny."

She later decided that Ginny was pretty cool for not mentioning the obvious: that Louise had only called two people 'boss' before in her life.

•

It was midnight when someone crawled into Louise's bed.

Louise screamed, or she tried to. The person had sealed a hand over her mouth. She thrashed wildly, hands clawing out at her unseen attacker before she tried to reach for the switchblade under her pillow, her heart pounding so hard she thought she was about to go into cardiac arrest, thinking that it was true, that serial killers did attack sleepaway camps, and this was it, she would die here in a bunk bed in Twinkle Cabin of all damn places, she would die right there without ever having seen her first million dollars—

"Shhhh!" Millie said, and she took her hand away.

"Millie!" screamed Louise, and she was silenced by a hand again. This time she fought even harder, deciding that having Millie in her bed was even worse than having a serial killer in it.

The commotion had woken Jessica, who in a matter of seconds had bounded down the bunk bed ladder and was dragging Millie off of her. In the pale moonlight Jessica looked completely alert and ready to go despite the fact that she had surely been asleep just moments ago. She stood there with her arms locked under Millie's, dressed in no more than a thin camisole and cotton shorts. Louise sucked in a few ragged breaths, falling back against her bed and reaching up to make sure that her hat had not gone askew in the struggle.

"Jessica," she gasped, too relieved and too dizzy with adrenaline to come up with any kind of nickname for her.

"How did you get in here?" Jessica demanded to know in a low, harsh whisper, shaking Millie. In the next room over, Louise could hear the campers stir. "The door was locked!"

Millie was giggling to herself. Louise decided that she had never seen her look more insane. "You're not the only one who can pick locks," she said. "The window was super loose." Indeed, the window was wide open, and the warm night breeze was rolling in.

Jessica let go of Millie, who straightened, dusting herself off. Louise saw that she was perfectly coiffed and dressed in jean shorts and a bikini top. Over her shoulder was a bag. Louise took a few long breaths, and then she carefully drew the switchblade out from under her pillow.

"I'm going to hack that stupid ponytail right off your head if you don't explain right now what the hell you're planning, Millie," said Louise, in no mood to fool around.

Millie rolled her eyes, utterly unintimidated. "It's like the two of you have never been to camp before. Remember? We're sneaking out after curfew. Duh? Silly lil' billy goats!" She began laughing her humming, stuttering laugh, the one that always raised Louise's hackles. If Louise were an exotic animal, she might have started flashing her warning colors at that moment.

"No, we're not," said Jessica, and Louise was in full and utter agreement in spite of the fact that she had little to harmonize with Jessica lately. "Go away. Right now. Bye." She moved to the still-open window and held her hands up to it like a game show hostess showing off a prize.

"Let's go, let's go, let's go," said Millie, unbothered. "Vicky's waiting outside. Did I mention there's a cash incentive?"

Millie had accessed her detonator and pressed the button with one firm finger. Louise tucked the switchblade away, willing herself patience as she said slowly, "Explain."

"Lightning Cabin needs a drop-off," said Millie, and she reached into the bag at her shoulder. She pulled out four ten dollar bills and a wad of paper. "I took a pre-order earlier. Cash up front. Clever, right? We just hide the snacks in the bush next to their cabin." She seemed to be utterly proud of herself, standing there with all of the guileless innocence of a puppy expecting praise.

"That's," said Louise blankly. "Uh." She didn't want to say Good job, but money was money, and she had sacrificed her pride for fewer dollars before.

Jessica knelt and pulled the stash box out from underneath Louise's bed. "Fine," she said. "Since we're partnered, and I'm not a scam artist."

I am, thought Louise, begrudgingly admiring Jessica's devotion to fairness.

"Get your swimsuits," Millie reminded the two of them. "The pool's open, and there's nothing like a night swim."

Part of Louise thought that the idea sounded pretty fun. She was all for breaking the rules and sneaking out— just not with Millie. Maybe, she thought idly, if it were just herself and Jessica. Shit.

It was Jessica who grounded the both of them. "If we get caught, we'll all lose your jobs," she said. "How'd you convince Soon-Mi to even go along with this?"

"Vicky's obviously completely terrified of her," said Louise, "because Millie's probably holding her entire family hostage."

"Vicky wants to!" said Millie brightly. "Come on, it'll just be an hour. A fun hour, just us besties!"

Louise dragged her boots out from under the bed and was already lacing them up. "When are you ever going to go back to your home planet, Millie?" she demanded to know. "You know, Backwards Land where all the dirty lies you keep telling yourself are true?"

"It was going to be a bonfire," said Millie out loud, looking thoughtful, "but Vicky told me she was allergic to smoke."

Whether that was true or not, Louise was thankful for the excuse. She wasn't sure if Millie could be trusted to maintain anything involving fire. Nearby, Jessica was pulling her swimsuit out of one of the drawers; apparently she had decided, like Louise had concluded, that tolerating this insane idea for one hour was better than the potential consequences of turning Millie down. Without a word she moved towards the bathroom, presumably to change. Louise watched her go before turning back to Millie, blinking several times so that her eyes would not start their telltale twitching.

"Great," she said finally, the word rolling out of her in an exasperated sigh. She got to her feet to look for her swimsuit.

•

After they had made the drop at Lightning Cabin, Millie led the way towards the recreational hall. It was strange to be walking the campgrounds so late at night; the emptiness and the silence under the inky sky creeped Louise out a little bit. She was so used to seeing these places filled with staff and blue-shirted Thundergirls that the campgrounds seemed nearly unrecognizable, like a new place entirely that she'd never seen before. It made her feel strangely lonely, and the thought of an impending hour with Millie was not helping matters. Louise recalled Millie's words about the pool being open before she realized the inconsistency within them. How?

Her question was answered just as soon as they got there: somehow, Millie had obtained a key for the recreational hall. As soon as she produced it, Jessica was holding her hand out for it before Louise could even voice a question. "Let me see that," she said.

"Why?" Millie said sweetly, holding it away, but her short arms were no match for Jessica's long reach. She relinquished the key without a struggle.

Jessica inspected it closely. "So who'd you steal this from?"

"No one!" Millie chirped, her eyes widening. "Is it so hard to believe that Ginny trusts me? It's so that I can put in extra time working on the Penny-Anne costumes."

"So basically she shouldn't have trusted you," said Louise, "because you're not doing what you said you would. Because you can't be trusted. With anything. For any reason." She found it impossible to bite her tongue on the matter, even though she knew full well that she would be doing exactly what Millie was doing if their positions were reversed. They technically weren't breaking any rules.

"I can be trusted," said Millie in a voice that was suddenly very serious. "Jeez, Louise — haha — you've been in a pretty bad mood lately!" She unlocked the double doors to the recreational hall and shouldered them open as Louise fumed. It was true, but she felt especially affronted that Millie was pointing that out with Jessica standing right there. She told herself not to look up and not to look for anything significant in her co-counselor's expression.

"What if there's an alarm?" Vicky asked softly. She had hardly spoken during the walk over, constantly peering over her shoulder and spooking at noises only she seemed to be able to hear. Her hair was pulled back into a tight ponytail that made her face look even more drawn and worried than usual.

"Then we get to go on a run," said Jessica in a dry voice that Louise thought she intended to sound reassuring.

But Vicky's concerns were unfounded; the recreational hall was just as silent as the campgrounds. It was dark and lit only by the pool lights, which shone even through the glass wall that separated the pool from the other rooms in the hall. Millie tossed her arms up in the air excitedly and pushed open the door to the pool. The scent of chlorine rolled out first, followed by the muggy humidity of the pool. Louise began to feel stuffy already.

Millie had already run across the tiles towards the lockers and changing room with Vicky at her side, crooning something about how she was going to show off her swan dive. Louise did not follow, thankful for the silence once Millie and Vicky had disappeared into the changing room. That left her standing there by the edge of the pool, staring down into the gently lapping water. She almost forgot for a moment that there was a fourth person with them, but it was impossible to truly forget Jessica. Louise looked around for her.

Jessica had walked over to the shower station to set her bag down, and now she reached to remove her shirt. For a moment, Louise stood there, staring at her. She could see the outline of Jessica's ribcage through the fabric of her one-piece swimsuit as she lifted her shirt up over her head. Against the blue light emitting from the pool, Jessica's pale skin glowed, her long legs throwing slender shadows onto the wall behind her. She had already turned to adjust the knob of the shower before Louise realized that Jessica was looking at her and had seen her staring.

Louise's face immediately began to burn hot. She hadn't really meant to stare. It had just happened. "When—" she began, trying to think of a way to smooth the moment over, "when you're done with that— um—"

"Here. There's lots of room." Jessica's voice had a distinctly careful edge to it as she took a step to the side under the spray, motioning the flat of her hand to the grate beneath her feet. The shower station was little more than a spigot in the wall and a drain in the floor, and there was only one. Jessica was vaguely motioning her over.

Oh, thought Louise. Girls did that, right? They did that sort of thing? She wasn't sure. She'd never had any close female friends. She knew that Tina and her friends sometimes did bizarre things like use the same changing room stalls at clothing stores, or share a little bit too much detail about their romantic lives with one another in a way that made Louise extremely uncomfortable to overhear. This wasn't much in comparison, right? She rocked on her heels and stared down at her boots before she decided that, no, she wouldn't be doing anything wrong by standing next to Jessica at the shower station. She knelt to undo the laces on her boots, and once she had the rest of her clothes off she stepped towards the shower.

Water was running down Jessica's body, turning the blue of her swimsuit to navy. Louise found herself staring again for just a moment before she directed her eyes down to the drain. Jessica reached up and tilted the spigot off-center slightly so that Louise could have access to it. The water nearly hit her in the face; apparently Jessica had not adjusted for height. Louise jerked her head back, coughing and reaching up to check the status of her hat.

"You're going to get my ears wet!" she yelped before she could bite back the words, but they were sufficient enough to break the awkward silence.

Jessica had started to laugh. "Sorry," she said. "You could just take them off."

"No," Louise heaved. "I'm winning that bet."

Turning her head up towards the spigot, Jessica tipped her chin back and let the water run over her hair. She reached up to push her fingers through it to get it out of her eyes. "I was hoping you'd forgotten it. I'm starting to think I'm going to lose."

"I told you it would never happen," said Louise, shaking her head. "It wasn't even worth trying."

"Yeah," said Jessica, but she didn't sound disappointed or angry, just thoughtful. There was a contemplative look on her face as they lapsed into silence again. The only sound Louise could hear was the water rushing down upon them both. She moved her hands beneath it and let it pour onto her stomach. After a moment, Jessica spoke again. "Can we talk about earlier today? Yes or no?"

Louise knew exactly what she was referring to, but she hesitated anyway. "About what?" she muttered.

"You kind of ran off," said Jessica. She took a small step closer. Louise forced herself to look up and meet her eyes. Jessica was already staring right at her. "I don't know. I think it was because I was kind of digging at you. I wanted to say sorry. But—" She stopped.

"But?" Louise echoed.

"But I meant it," said Jessica. "You seem out of it lately. And if it pisses you off that I've noticed, then..."

Louise stiffened. She had reacted badly when Jessica had pointed it out before; that was very much true. She felt kind of like shit about it now. But how could she expect Jessica to understand when she could not even explain it to herself? How could she confess to something she was not even entirely sure of? All Louise really knew at that moment — the only concrete thing she had to rely on — was the fact that part of her was happy, in a way that made her feel slightly guilty, to be standing so close to Jessica like this. Shit, even just being around Jessica had made her feel like that lately. But the rest of her — and it was a large part — just felt frustrated and anxious and dizzy and confused.

"I guess I owe you an apology, too," she said quietly. "Look, I don't really, uh, do this thing. With the making friends? And stuff?" Her voice lilted off into question marks, betraying her uncertainty.

"Is that what it is?" Jessica asked in a tone that Louise could discern no identifiable emotion from. It made her freeze up again, unsure of what Jessica actually meant.

"Uh, yeah," mumbled Louise, the small amount of bravado she had managed to wager fading away.

"Come on, Louise." Jessica reached to shut off the shower, dripping water as she stepped away from it and across the tiles to the edge of the pool. Louise stood shivering with cold as she watched her lower herself into the water before she realized that she had been encouraged to follow. She moved to the other end of the pool, where the stairs were; she wasn't interested in dunking her head or her hat in.

She sunk slowly into the water. Lit up by the bluish lights, it was surprisingly warm against her skin, or at least it was compared to the temperature of the building. She wrapped a hand against the rail and leaned into it, sitting against the step. Jessica floated near the center of the pool; seeing Louise enter, she submerged herself and swam over to the shallow end where Louise sat. She resurfaced right in front of her, pulling herself onto the steps next to her.

"So you don't want to talk about it," said Jessica down at the water.

Louise's heart was thudding so hard she felt nauseous. "About what?" she said. Half of her hoped that Jessica understood what was going on, but the other half fervently hoped she didn't. The frustration gave way to a sort of fury that twisted her stomach into knots. The feeling was utterly unmanageable; at this rate, Louise was not sure if she was going to be able to make it another week at camp feeling this way.

Jessica's sharp chin jutted forward slightly as she pinched her tongue between her teeth, seeming to think it over. "There's something going on here. With you and me. Right?"

Oh, god.

That could mean a million different things, Louise thought to herself immediately. She could mean anything. She could definitely mean anything.

But she wanted Jessica to mean one thing in particular. She was shocked to realize that she was hoping for it.

"I," she started, realizing that she was shivering slightly. It wasn't cold in the pool. "I don't know if—"

"AND NOW," cut Millie's shrieking voice through the calm air, "everyone please watch my swan dive!"

Louise, startled, white-knuckled the railing. Millie and Vicky had reappeared out of nowhere. The shock that rolled through her struck her numb and wordless; Jessica at least looked equally startled as she looked at Millie standing over by the deep end of the pool.

The ensuing dive caused a ripple that spread all the way from the far end to the pool to where Louise and Jessica were sitting, making the water slosh up and around their waists and effectively putting an abrupt end to the beginning of a conversation that Louise realized she had been desperate to have.

•

An hour later Millie had checked the time and ushered everyone out of the pool, swearing up and down that she was a woman of her word. They put the towels back where they had found them, made sure the changing room was clean, and locked up the recreational hall. When they stepped back outside, they found that it was raining. It wasn't a heavy pour, just a light, warm spray, but it made Vicky squeal with displeasure and had quickly turned the ground to mud.

"We'll see you tomorrow!" Millie said gleefully; apparently the weather did not deter her. She raised her bag above her head like a shield against the rain and headed out into it back towards her cabin with Vicky.

That left Louise standing with Jessica under the awning. She certainly hadn't been prepared for rain, and after all the effort she had put into keeping her hat dry, she wasn't happy. Jessica sighed beside her, looking out into the mist. The moonlight colored it a milky shade, illuminating it with a brilliance that was dazzling, in a way, but it made it impossible to see through it.

"Do you remember the way back?" Louise wondered aloud.

"I think so," said Jessica, and then in that moment she reached down and clasped Louise's hand to tug her out from under the awning. Her hand was warm and her grip strong, and Louise found herself feeling warm again as she tried to keep pace with her. Jessica moved forward in the rain with her head slightly bowed against it; there was something striking about her face lit up by the moonlight. Louise looked at her as they rushed through it, tearing her eyes away only when she stumbled on the uneven ground.

In the distance, there was a bright flash of light that filled the sky and pierced through the clouds, followed by a low, resounding roll of thunder. Jessica increased her pace.

"Shouldn't we try to get out of this as soon as possible?" panted Louise, forced to raise her voice through the noise. Another flash burst in the sky as soon as she'd finished her question, and the thunder that followed sounded a lot closer.

Jessica's hand tightened on hers. Apparently this was all the response Jessica had to offer, but right after that she changed directions slightly. Louise realized that they were heading towards the tennis court, which was fairly close. It soon emerged from the mist, looking eerily abandoned in the darkness and rain. Nearby was a small storage shed that was never locked; Jessica picked up the pace, and by the time they reached it they had been half-jogging and Louise was slightly out of breath. Jessica let go of her hand and pushed the doors open.

The inside of the storage shed smelled of the rubber and wood of sports equipment, but it was insulated and held neatly against the rain. Jessica propped the door open with a tennis racquet and shook the rainwater out of her hair as Louise caught her breath. Another flash of lightning exploded outside. Jessica stood by the door staring resolutely out into the rain, looking slightly worried. Louise guessed what the issue might have been.

"It'll wake them up," she said, staring at Jessica's back. "The thunder. It's going to wake the kids up, right? And then they'll see that we're not in there and freak out, probably." She groaned. They might wind up losing their jobs anyway.

"Yeah," murmured Jessica. Then her shoulders slumped slightly. "Well, if you want to stay here and wait it out, I can go ahead."

"What?" Louise snapped to full attention and lowered her hands from where she had been squeezing the water out of her rabbit ears, alarmed. "Don't— don't do that."

Jessica glanced at her sideways. "I'm not going to get hit by lightning," she said. "The chances are pretty low."

"Don't leave me here alone," Louise burst out before she could stop herself.

There was a pause. "Right," said Jessica softly. "Sorry."

They stood there for several moments, just staring at one another. Louise had experienced many awkward moments with Jessica so far, and she recalled feeling like she had never felt more out of place before in her entire life when she'd been sitting on Jessica's bed with her talking about how they'd miss one another. But that moment was nothing compared to this one. This was beyond her mere human limits of endurance. Louise sort of felt like punching herself in the face, but mostly she ached to reach out and strike Jessica instead, to childishly slap her and then run off like a playground bully to avoid all of her problems and the potential of confrontation.

It was Jessica that spoke first. "I guess now would be a good time to talk, wouldn't it."

Right. They had been interrupted by Millie back at the pool. Jessica had touched upon a subject that Louise had been trying very hard to ignore. She felt her throat go completely dry as they stared at one another. There was only the sound of water dripping off of their clothes to the floor and the muffled sound of thunder outside. Louise balled her hands up at her sides.

She didn't want to talk about it. But she did. But she didn't.

Louise didn't know what she wanted in that moment, and it was because of that that stubbornness won out.

"There's nothing to talk about," she said, bitterly resenting herself for the walls she had built around her defenses, the ones she couldn't lower even when she wanted to.

She expected the conversation to end there, for Jessica to just nod and turn stone faced again, but she should have known better. Jessica was anything but predictable.

"You're lying," she said, and she moved away from the door and towards Louise, trailing water. The window at Louise's back lit her face up; her eyes were hard. She stopped only when she was a pace from Louise— close enough to touch.

Anger ran hotly through her, anger that Jessica had seen right through her, that she was challenging her, that she was staring her down defying her to tell the truth, and that was all it took to bring Louise's frustrations to a boiling point. The fury spilled out of her then, choking her throat up and making it hard to think.

"Shut up!" she raged. "Shut up! You don't know the first thing about me, you don't know anything— you think you can just—"

But she couldn't think of anything to say. Nothing to excuse away what she felt in her head, in her heart. Instead Louise drew her hand back and whipped it forward towards Jessica's face.

It never connected.

Jessica's fingers locked around her wrist and held it tightly before she threw her weight into pushing it away. Louise stumbled after missing, nearly colliding with the bin of basketballs behind her, her vision red. In front of her, Jessica was all tension and clenched fists held at her sides. "Why'd you just try to hit me?" Jessica demanded to know in a voice as sharp as a knife. The tone was completely unfamiliar on her, something Louise had never heard before, and it made her uneasy.

But her thoughts weren't flowing coherently, and she could do little but glare at her, snarling, baring her teeth like an animal. "I don't know!" she screamed. That, at least, felt like it wasn't a lie.

However, the truth was that she did know, and although Louise had lived her life telling herself that she always thought things through completely before deciding to press forward with them, her hair-trigger impulsivity won out more often than not and got her into the sort of trouble that had put her in this situation in the first place. There was nothing she could think of to do.

Except for one thing.

Louise took a step forward, reached up to grasp at Jessica's shoulders, and pressed her mouth to hers.

Their lips collided bruisingly. Louise had never really kissed someone before— nor had anyone ever kissed her. If she were a more sentimental person, she might have been a little mortified that this was her first kiss, nearly seventeen and with a girl she'd just tried to slap in the face, a girl who had every right to be furious with her. But Louise had never attached value to the idea of that 'first' meaning anything. It hadn't been anything real to her. Until now.

Her lips were a mess, completely unsure of what she was doing. Jessica seemed not to know what to do, either, because she wasn't moving. She was completely still. She was—

Louise pulled away abruptly. At first, she was satisfied to find Jessica looking startled. Her sharp cheekbones were pale. Her eyes looked once into Louise's, and then at the ground. She was expressionless. It was then that Louise's satisfaction began to drain away and humiliation welled up in her chest, swift and hot and utterly horrifying. It sent her reeling. She moved back, feeling lightheaded.

Shit. What the hell did I just do?

"I—" she said, wanting to make up an excuse or explanation, because she knew that she had to look completely fucking insane to Jessica, that she was coming off as someone wildly inconsistent and irrational, but before she could finish the thought, Jessica had reached out for her and was cupping her face in both hands to kiss her hard.

It was Louise's turn to freeze, but she thawed within the same moment, reaching out to tangle her fingers in the thick weave of Jessica's sweater. She could feel her breathing. It was loud, through her nose, and felt hot on her face. It made her skin prickly all over, but it wasn't an unpleasant feeling at all. It thrilled through her as searing fast as the lightning outside, setting her ablaze. Louise wanted more. She wanted to put her arms around Jessica and press close to her body. She wanted to shake her until every inscrutable secret came rattling out. She wanted a lot of things from Jessica in that moment. At least she was getting the one she wanted most now, their mouths moving together with gradually increasing certainty. Jessica was kissing her. Jessica wanted to kiss her. When they pulled apart, Louise yanked on her sweater hard.

"Idiot," she choked. "Bland, boring idiot."

"I didn't mean to freak you out," said Jessica. "I just—"

Louise cut her off. She didn't want an apology; Jessica didn't owe her one. "Stop—" she said, her voice hitching. "Stop, or I really will hit you, and I won't miss this time."

Jessica stopped. She didn't even seem to be breathing. Louise stared up at her. She thought she could count every little mark on her face. This time she didn't make excuses in her head for what she wanted.

"Kiss me again," said Louise.

Jessica laughed, but it caught in her throat and cracked. This time, her lips felt softer, her arms closing carefully around Louise's waist as their mouths rejoined. Outside, the rain slowed to a stop. A stifling silence had cloaked the shed by the time they pulled apart, unable to meet one another's gaze, and they seemed to wordlessly agree that it was time to get back to the cabin and sleep on what had just happened.

Louise's heart was still racing by the time they made it back to their cabin; her every step felt strange and floating, and it seemed like something in her world had shifted. They hadn't said a thing to one another on the way back, nor while they sneaked quietly back inside to dry off and get dressed for bed. Fortunately, the campers had slept through the thunder, and they were soundly unaware as Louise and Jessica moved quietly in their quarters.

"Hey, Jessica," murmured Louise as Jessica turned to climb the ladder up to her bed, the first thing she had said since that last kiss in the shed. The other girl turned to look at her. Louise felt like they had made a pact, somehow. Negotiated a secret. "Good night," she said, feeling awkward but pleased with herself for making the effort.

Jessica gave a little smile. "I could get used to you calling me by my actual name."

Louise grinned. Things had tentatively begun to feel normal again. Like the tension that had built up between them had shattered, and she might be able to go back to her usual dynamic with Jessica. "Don't," she said.

"Better not," Jessica agreed, and then she was lifting a hand to gently touch Louise on the forearm before she hauled herself onto the ladder. "Good night, Louise."

It was a while before Louise could fall asleep; she spent the passing minutes staring at the bed positioned right on top of hers, thinking about the girl resting above.