This story is the result of a collaboration between myself and youseetherealme on Tumblr. She wanted to make some gifsets and needed a story to go with them. This is part one of two; for the corresponding gifset, check out my profile!

Some of the dialogue in this story is from the show itself, mainly from 3x21.

Emma's first thought upon looking at the pregnancy test was that she was seriously cursed. There was no other explanation for how contraception had failed her not once in her life, but twice. And while the circumstances surrounding this pregnancy were different from the first one, they were no less complicated.

She should have just left. She shouldn't have relied on hormonal contraception when she was in the goddamn Enchanted Forest. Regina wasn't always right, but she'd been right about this: Emma hadn't been thinking about consequences.

For all that she'd teased Killian about being jealous, she'd really only meant to distract Hook. She'd listened to his warnings ("Swan, that man sitting there … you don't know him"), and she remembered the man he'd been when they'd first met ("Normally I'd prefer to do other more enjoyable activities with a woman on her back"), and the damage he'd wrought when he'd initially come to Storybrooke.

She'd gone over to his table knowing he was dangerous, knowing that the man of honor he'd eventually become was pretty well buried beneath his pirate exterior. But she also knew that her very existence depended on Snow White stealing that ring. And the way to get her to steal it was for Killian to offer her a deal in exchange for it. And he couldn't do that if Hook were to return to the Jolly Roger any time soon. She basically would be flirting for her life.

Hook had followed her back to a more secluded table in the tavern, happily saying goodbye to the crew members (at least, she figured they were crew members) and the wenches he'd been drinking and playing with. And now all she had to do was keep him occupied. That should have been easy, given her history in bail bonds.

What wasn't easy, though, was remembering that he was supposed to be a mark. He kept invading her personal space just a little too much, and grinning at her lasciviously. She wasn't supposed to be enjoying this.

"So, just two ships passing in the night then?"

"Passing closely, I hope."

"Speaking of ships," and he leaned in even more closely. She could smell the rum on his breath, but she could also smell the leather of his jacket, and the scent of his body. He smelled just like Killian did. It was distracting. "What do you say we leave this place and I'll … show you mine."

He moved to stand, and she quickly grabbed his thigh to sit him back down. "How about we have a few drinks first?" she asked.

He grinned as he downed the shot, and she knew she was totally, epicly screwed.

Half a bottle of rum later, Hook was still completely conscious and lucid. She was as well, but she'd only actually been drinking when he'd been looking. It had been enough to push her over into pleasantly buzzed territory, but she wasn't sure how he was still upright.

"If I didn't know any better," he said, slurring his speech the tiniest bit, "I'd say you were trying to get me drunk, which is usually my tactic."

"What's the matter, Captain?" she teased. "Can't hold your rum?"

"Not only can I hold it," he said, grabbing the bottle, "but I can carry it right out the door." He leaned in obscenely close. "What do you say we set sail?" He stood, slightly unsteadily. "Come back with me for a nightcap … or should I find someone else?"

There was absolutely no way to know whether or not Killian had finished meeting with Snow yet, or if he'd even successfully met with her in the first place. It was really, really important for her to keep Hook occupied. She had no doubt that if she turned him down, he'd probably find some bar wench to take back to the Jolly Roger in a few seconds flat. She couldn't take the risk that he and said hypothetical bar wench wouldn't stumble upon his future self.

"I would despair if you did," she said with a smile.

They walked to the docks, his arm firmly around her waist. It was strange. He really, really wasn't Killian. But he was Killian. And she was just tipsy enough that she had to keep reminding herself that she wasn't actually going back to the Jolly to sleep with him. She just needed to keep stalling, and make sure Killian had vacated the premises.

She pretended to trip. "Whoa!" she said loudly, hoping that if Killian were in earshot, he'd know she was near and that he needed to get the hell out of dodge. She sank down on a barrel. "I think I should rest for a moment."

"Oh, no need! No need!" Hook said enthusiastically. He swept her up in his arms. "I've carried rum barrels heavier than you!"

She laughed nervously; she didn't doubt that he was strong enough to carry her, but the whole point of faking the injury had been to slow him down, not give him the opportunity to either get a solid grope in or, worse, drop her.

"Behold!" he said, stepping atop the gangplank. "The Rolly Joger!" Killian was right; anything weird that happened tonight could easily be blamed on the rum if Hook was too drunk to pronounce the name of his ship.

"Captain!" It was Smee. Her heart raced in panic. Smee wasn't drunk; he might recognize her. She quickly buried her face in Hook's neck, hoping that he would assume she was just getting things started. "Back already?"

"Course I'm back!" Hook boomed.

"The other woman wasn't to your taste?"

"What the bloody hell are you talking about, Smee?"

"The—the woman you were just with, Captain. You just left with her."

"Other woman?" Emma interrupted. It was almost definitely Snow, but she had to be sure.

"Of course there's no other woman," Hook reassured her. "Smee's just spouting nonsense. Isn't that right, Mr. Smee?"

Smee sensed the tone. "Uh, yes, Captain. Sorry, Captain." And she heard him scurry out of the way.

"Sorry about that, love," Hook said as he finished carrying her aboard. It was strange being back aboard the Jolly; it had been over a year since their adventure in Neverland. She hadn't seen the ship in Storybrooke for some reason; Killian hadn't mentioned what had happened to her.

He set her down as gently as possible, given his intoxicated state, and gestured at the hatch that she knew led to his cabin. "After you, darling; I'll be right behind you. I just need to check on a few things with my first mate."

"I'll be waiting," she said seductively, and he grinned. She quickly made her way below deck.

She was relieved to find that Killian was gone. Combined with Smee's comments, it seemed as though he'd successfully met with Snow and gotten off the ship in time. Now, all she needed to do was to meet him back in the forest outside town, as planned. She moved to climb back up above deck.

Only to find Hook climbing down. "Now, where might you be going?" he asked, his voice low and husky. He was suddenly so very close. "I do hope you're not having second thoughts."

"I just got tired of waiting," she said, without thinking. She didn't need to pretend she was into him any more; she needed to leave. So why not just say she did have second thoughts?

But she had no time to come up with an alternate plan before he closed the distance between them and kissed her.

She hadn't forgotten how incredible her kiss with Killian had been in Neverland. She'd done it to shut him up, to prove that he was playing with fire, and that he really couldn't handle what he kept trying to get from her. But he'd kissed her back just as passionately, just as fiercely, and she'd forgotten for a moment that she had just kissed him to prove a point, and not because she'd planned on enjoying it. It had been hard to stop.

Killian might have changed over the past year and a half or so, but the way he kissed hadn't. His kiss was fiery hot, and just the tiniest bit sloppy from the rum. He wrapped his left arm around her and threaded his hand in her hair, and for a second, she forgot she wasn't actually kissing him.

He swayed a bit, causing her to stumble slightly. "Apologies," he slurred. "A woman as beautiful as you deserves my full and prompt attention."

She knew what that meant. She wasn't surprised; she'd just spent the whole evening trying to seduce him as a means of distracting him. But now, when he was able to for real sleep with her, about to bend her over the table and do god knows what to her, she couldn't think of a single excuse to leave.

She wasn't exactly drunk, but she was buzzed. She'd spent the whole night up close and personal with him, practically drinking in his scent. And while he wasn't Killian, he wasn't … not Killian.

He wasn't Killian. That was the only reason for her reservations. This was Hook, who didn't love her, who hadn't come back to save her, who hadn't fallen through a portal with her.

But … he was kissing her neck and using his hook to lift up her skirts, and he smelled exactly like he always did, and, well, it wasn't as though he'd remember tonight. And, well, maybe she could admit that while she'd been busy seducing Captain Hook, he'd seduced her right back.

She was still staring at the test when Killian arrived at the sheriff's station.

"All right there, Swan?" he asked as he approached her. He gave her a quick kiss on the lips. "You look worried."

"We need to talk," she said.

"As I've said before, I've found when a woman says that, I'm rarely in for pleasant conversation." He raised an eyebrow. "Am I wrong?"

She shrugged. "I don't know. I guess you could say this is a 'good news, bad news' type situation. Although I guess it depends on your definition of good news."

"Swan, you can tell me anything." He smiled at her reassuringly.

It took all the courage she could muster to speak. "I'm pregnant."

His eyes widened and his mouth fell open slightly. "Truly?" He smiled. "We're going to be parents?"

"Sort of," she answered.

"Sort of?" He chuckled. "What do you mean by that?" His arms tightened a bit around her. "Is this what you meant about bad news? Is something wrong?"

"Killian, we've only been sleeping together for a couple weeks."

"Aye. But the length of time we've been engaged in intimacy has no relationship whatsoever to the chances of conceiving."

"Yeah, except that I'm definitely more than two weeks pregnant."

He was very, very quiet. She couldn't meet his gaze, and instead stared intently at his shoes. When it was clear he either waiting for an explanation, or that he was shocked into silence, she continued. "I, uh … didn't get my period—I don't know what you'd call it, but you know, my 'time of the month' or whatever. I'd actually missed it last month, but everything had been so stressful with what happened with the Snow Queen and Gold, and I just figured my hormones had gone a bit haywire. So when I missed it again this week …"

"Is it your ex-fiancé's? The flying monkey?"

"No!" She looked up in horror at his suggestion. He looked almost as distraught as he had when he'd believed she might watch Gold kill him. "No, it's not Walsh's. It's … well, it's yours."

"Mine?" he asked, as though she were making a joke. "Love, perhaps you can enlighten me on how we could have slept together so long ago without my knowledge. Because, darling, I know exactly what you feel like between the sheets; it's not a feeling easily forgotten."

"You didn't remember meeting me in that tavern," she pointed out, recalling their conversation the night they'd returned to Storybrooke. He'd confirmed that he remembered nothing of that night; just that he knew he'd been at a tavern, and he'd woken up with a raging hangover.

Realization dawned on his face quickly after that, and his arms dropped to his sides. "You slept with him? That's why you were so late in meeting me?"

"I slept with you," she pointed out. "Just a really long time ago."

"You told me you went back with him to the Jolly and then he passed out!"

"Well, I mean, that's true … it just happened after we had sex."

"This is unbelievable," he said, shaking his head. Now he wouldn't meet her gaze. "It's his baby?"

"It's your baby, Killian! Goddammit, Killian, will you listen to me?"

"I—I'm sorry, love. I know this isn't very gentlemanly of me, but I—I can't do this right now." And without giving her a chance to explain further, he turned and stalked off.

Part two will be posted tomorrow before the mid-season premiere!