Update 07/24/16: Minor wording tweak for continuity with a future project.

A/N: I based this fic on the song "Fake Plastic Trees" by Radiohead. This is the first fanfic that I actually finished. I really like how it turned out, and I hope you do as well! I'm not sure that I like the title, however. Any suggestions for a different title would be greatly appreciated.

Disclaimer: I don't own Nintendo or any of their franchises/characters, nor do I own the song mentioned above. Enjoy!

"She looks like the real thing, she tastes like the real thing
My fake plastic love
But I can't help the feeling, I could blow through the ceiling
If I just turn and run"

She's gone. Zelda is gone, and I want her back.

Maybe I waited too long. Maybe if I said something earlier, she'd still be here. She'd still be by my side, and everything would be perfect. She would be queen, and I would be king, and we would rule Hyrule like they always wanted us to.

That's what she said was wrong, when she told me. She said that she always did what Hyrule wanted, and not what she wanted. She said our love was plastic; pretty, but fake. She said that she never really felt anything; not when we talked, held hands, or kissed. Not when we went on adventures, not even when she looked me in the eyes.

If that's true, she is an excellent pretender, because I certainly believed what we had was real.

Every time we were together, I swore I could fly. Normally I was shy and reserved, but around her, I was free. I would talk with her for hours, delicate conversations about nature and the kingdom and just life in general. We would go to the market together, hunt together, play games together. Heck, we even lived together. So long, in fact, that her castle's servants started to push marriage upon us.

They would ask us nearly every day when we planned to wed. Everyday Zelda would give them the same response:

"I don't know. I don't think we're ready for that at this time."

And they would respond:

"Someday, surely?"

And she would reply:

"Certainly."

However, that someday never came. Weeks passed, months passed, years passed. Then one fateful day, I received a letter from the Smash Mansion.

"Dear Mr. Link and Ms. Zelda,

We are pleased to inform you that you have been selected to compete in the Super Smash Bros. Melee tournament. We would appreciate your presence at the portal gates exactly two weeks from today. Please make any needed arrangements for transportation, as well as bringing all personal items you will need for the tournament. This tournament will last exactly 6 months Subspace time, so be prepared. We appreciate your participation and cooperation.

Sincerely,

Master Hand"

I shouldn't have told her. I should have said that she didn't make the cut. I could have told Master Hand that she was ill, and none of this would have happened. We could be living our perfect lives back in Hyrule, with nothing to distance us.

But I did. I told her about the tournament, and she was elated. She said she couldn't wait to meet the others. She wanted to learn about other lands, and meet new beings from other dimensions.

"This will be fun, Link!" she said. "It's going to be amazing!"

Amazing for her, maybe. For me, it has been full of heartbreak.

When the tournament started, she was by my side almost all the time. But she slowly started to meet new people, and she slowly distanced herself from me. I didn't notice at first. She'd be hanging out with Peach, or playing with the pokémon, or training with Samus.

Samus.

She was spending more and more time with Samus every day, and less with me. She said she was training. She would gush over how good she was getting at fighting. I have to admit, I did notice a vast improvement in her fighting abilities. I guess that's why I dismissed the fact that she all but stopped hanging out with me. I thought she was just really focused, and didn't want to slow her progress.

I should've have noticed the way she fawned over Samus, or how she would blush at the mere mention of her name. How they fought together in every team battle, refusing to go with anyone else. How Samus would defend Zelda when people questioned her, and how they held hands everywhere. I still don't understand how I missed all these things, but they all came to me when she told me.

She was dating Samus, and she was breaking up with me.

I faked a smile when she told me. I said I was glad that she confided in me, and that I was happy for her. I said I would be there for her if she needed a friend.

"So... You're not upset?"

"Not at all. I just want you to be happy."

That was partly true. I do want to be there for her, and I want her to be happy. But I'd be lying if I said I wasn't upset.

That happened 4 hours ago. I've tried telling myself that I should get over it, that if it wasn't Samus, it would be someone else, and that she'd do this eventually. But I just can't stop crying. Maybe if I paid more attention to her, listened more and talked less, she'd still be with me. Maybe if I was more selfless, more courageous, more brave, she'd still love me.

If I could be what she wanted, who she wanted, I would do it. But I can't.

She's gone. Zelda is gone, and I'm not getting her back.

"If I could be who you wanted, if I could be who you wanted, all the time."

A/N: Thank you for reading! Please review if you have the time, I would really appreciate it. Praise and constructive criticism are all welcome. I hope to write more Smash Bros fanfics in the future, so stay tuned!