A/N: With this stupid dress thing going on today, I thought I'd make a fanfic about it. Even though Breaking Bad is already over and this dress debate didn't happen during the series… let's just assume it did. Comment, suggest, compliment, critique, love, hate, review and enjoy! :) J

Illusion

"YO! MR. WHITE! OPEN UP, BITCH!" Jesse yelled, as he pounded on the door to Walter's house.

Walter sighed, and looked up at the ceiling. He recognized the familiar voice, and noticed the anger in it. "This should be good," he muttered. He was sitting on the couch, so he got up, and walked to the front door. Jesse was still pounding on it.

Walt opened the door, and the cool air washed over him. "Jesse…" he sighed.

"About time!" Jesse walked in, without invitation.

Walt almost rolled his eyes, and he said, "Oh, yes, you can come in, that's fine." Then he closed the door behind him.

Whether Jesse heard that or not, he didn't respond. Instead, he took his phone out of his jacket pocket, and turned it on. He seemed to be frantically flipping through his photos. "Hey, man, so," he started to explain, "this thing's been going around the Internet like mad. It's all this arguing about a dress, and what color it is. It's stupid, I mean, it's a dress. It can't be two colors, right? It's obviously blue and black. But then I thought, hey, whatever, I know this genius science teacher! I can just ask him!"

Walter had to stop himself from sighing again. "I'm a chemistry teacher," he corrected. "Was. And, Jesse, you can't just barge in here like this! You're lucky Skylar's not here, because-"

Jesse interrupted him before he could finish. "I didn't barge in here! You let me in!" Not exactly. He finally found the picture he was talking about, and held his screen up to Walter's face. "See?!" he exclaimed. "That dress is blue and black. Not gold and white! Blue. And black! Right?!" This was literally one of the stupidest things that Jesse had ever come to Walter about.

He didn't look at it yet, though. He continued his thought from earlier, "But, Jesse, don't knock on the door like that. No- not knocking… you were pounding. What if Skylar was here? Or my son?! They would've thought you were a burglar or something!"

Jesse groaned. "Fine, fine. I'll be calmer next time and pretend I'm the goddamn pizza man or whatever." He was saying this just to get him to shut up, of course. "But seriously, Mr. White, look at the dress!"

Finally, Walter gave in. He turned his eyes to the screen, and saw the, seemingly ordinary, dress hung up with the light behind it. He stared at it for a moment, and then looked back at Jesse. "What about it?" he asked.

"It's blue and black, isn't it?!"

Walt stared him down more carefully. "Jesse…" he said, slowly. "That dress… is gold… and white."

Jesse looked as if he'd been betrayed by his lifelong partner. He stumbled back, and almost tripped. "W-Wha- Wha…" he stuttered. "M-Mr. White! What's wrong with you; are you color blind?! It's blue and black! Look!" He shoved the screen in Walter's face again.

But the ex-teacher shook his head. "No. Jesse, I see gold and white. However, it's an optical illusion. Some people, because their brains are thinking differently, see blue and black. Some see white and gold," he explained. "There is no right or wrong answer; it simply depends on the perso-"

"That's impossible!" Jesse shouted. "It's a color! Unless you're color blind or something, everybody sees the same colors, right?!"

"Yes, but-"

"Right?!"

"Most of the time, yes. But in this case-"

Jesse wouldn't listen. He shook his head, and glared hard at Walter. "BITCH!" he yelled. "IT'S FUCKING BLUE AND BLACK! LIKE YOUR EYES WILL BE IF YOU DON'T STOP LYING!"

"IT'S AN OPTICAL ILLUSION!" Walter yelled back.

They yelled at each other for a while after that. But then they came up with an idea… an idea that would settle this once and for all.

Thirty minutes later, Saul found the two kicking his door open, and right in the middle of a massage.

Yes, Saul was getting a massage… in his office. It was kind of awkward; he was dressed in just a white towel, lying face down on a table- not his office table, of course, getting a back massage from some Chinese woman. When his two clients walked in yelling at each other, the lady shrieked, and almost had a heart attack right there. Saul gasped too, and jumped up from the table.

"H-Hey!" Saul exclaimed. "What the hell, you two?! How about a-?!" That second, he got a call. It was his secretary.

"Saul," Francesca sighed, obviously tired of those two. "Mr. Bald and his junkie boyfriend are here." She had started giving them names such as those.

Saul glared at the phone; even know he knew she couldn't see it. "Thanks for the heads up," he spat. His massager had already left.

"Alright, alright, already!" Saul said, trying to be louder than Jesse and Walter. He pulled on his black slacks under the towel, then quickly slipped on a blue button-down shirt. "What're you tearing each other's throats out over now, huh?"

When asked that question, Jesse and Walter finally put their fight on hold, and turned to the lawyer. "This dress," Jesse answered, bitterly. He held out his phone and showed Saul the dress. "Mr. White and half the world thinks it's gold and white, but it's totally blue and black! Right?!"

Saul scoffed. "Who cares?" he asked. "It's ugly."

"That's not the point!" Walt was talking, this time. He stepped forward. "It's an optical illusion! Please explain to Jesse that it's different colors to different people! And to me, it's gold and white!"

Saul closed his eyes in exasperation. He whispered, "This isn't what lawyers are for."

"TELL HIM!" Walter and Jesse shouted together, pointing at the other.

Saul really didn't want to be in the middle of this. What he wanted to do was call that massager back and finish what she'd started. He could call Huell in here… but then they'd come back and wouldn't leave him alone again. So he might as well answer them.

"Guys…" he said, slowly, "I think if this is really so different to both of you, then it must be an optical illusion. But, me, personally… I see gold and white."

Now Jesse was twice as betrayed as he was before. He stumbled back again, and this time, he did trip. He sputtered, trying to form words as he shakily tried to stand up. "N-No!" he cried. "Y-You… both of you! Traitors! Goddamn traitors!" He pointed at Saul furiously. "You! Fired!" He pointed at Walter next. "You! Fi…" He realized that he couldn't really fire his 50/50 partner. "I hope you and your stupid goatee burn in hell!" And he stormed out of the room. He slammed the door so hard that it could've fallen off its hinges.

Saul and Walter watched him go, completely silent.

Then Saul shattered the silence. "It's blue and black," he said. Walter looked at him oddly, and the lawyer grinned and laughed. "There's just something so amusing about seeing that kid angry."

Even Walter had to agree with that part.