Emily haunted the party like a ghost. Garcia had gone all out and invited a bunch of her own circle of friends who had brought other people and so on so the party was currently occupying three apartments including Garcia's, plus most the hallway between them. Emily drifted aimlessly from room to room; taking occasional sips of the beer in her hand trying not to look as melancholy as she felt. Emily had come to the stark realization as JJ bolted out of her apartment to get ready for her date that she just couldn't do it anymore.

She couldn't be 'just friends' with JJ.

Not like they were used to anyway. It was in the way JJ had hurried out that afternoon. It was in the way she was so certain she was going to be late to the party tonight. It was in the way 'I'm in love you' sat at the tip of her tongue every time she talked to JJ and in the way she had to swallow it back down again. She thought she was strong enough to keep going through this, but she really wasn't and the only way to protect her heart was to back away from their friendship.

She'd been practicing lines to say to JJ all night. All 'it's not you it's me,' all 'we just can't do this anymore,' all 'I need to be able to be safe,' but nothing was sounding right. Everything in her head made her sound like a sad kicked puppy. It didn't help that she felt like a sad kicked puppy. Emily frowned and flopped down on a couch that had an empty spot and sourly nursed her beer, startling when Garcia plopped cheerily beside her.

"What's knittin, kitten?" Garcia asked, slapping a hand lightly on Emily's thigh.

Emily winced despite the veritable love tap Garcia had delivered and swung her morose gaze onto her friend, trying not to look like she'd been sulking. "Nothing much. Have you seen JJ yet?"

"No why, is she here?" Garcia looked around expectantly and shrugged when Emily shook her head. "I haven't seen her. Why?"

"I just…need to talk to her."

"Oh yeah?" Garcia perked up but Emily didn't notice, instead she seemed to deflate.

"Yeah." She stood up. "If you see her can you tell her to come find me?"

"No problem angelface."

"Thanks Garcia." Emily muttered before wandering back through the crowd. JJ was on her date; she was going to be late. She was probably having a fabulous time.

JJ was having a fabulous time. Antoine was personable, charming, and funny, all things that she looked for in a potential partner so why was it that she couldn't get her head in this date? She knew why. Antoine had been the perfect gentleman. He was all the things she normally listed in her wants for a partner, he was handsome, he was attentive…

The only thing he wasn't was Emily.

Had she gotten so bad in such a short span of time that she couldn't even go on a date without feeling like she was doing Emily a disservice? That wasn't fair. Not to her, not to the people she'd be dating, and not to Emily regardless of whether she knew or not. This was ridiculous; she couldn't keep going like this. Something inside her had truly snapped that night at the movies and had broken a little further when she woke up with Emily wrapped around her. God, what she wouldn't give to be able to go back to that moment. It wasn't even like they'd never woken up cuddled into each other before it's that everything was somehow different, more intense—everything meant more to JJ now.

That had to stop. She had to focus on Antoine who by all counts was a lovely man.

"So what do you think JJ?" Antoine asked, shocking JJ into looking at him. Oh god, what had they been talking about? The amused raise of his eyebrow and half-smirk that tweaked his lips let her know that she'd been caught and she breathed out a sigh.

"I'm sorry, Twan, I just…"

"Got your mind other places?"

He didn't seem offended but she grimaced anyway. "I'm sorry, I swear I'm not this flaky."

Antoine held up a hand across the dinner table and pat hers reassuringly a few times. "Don't worry about it. I assume this has to do with that dark haired woman who was coming up the night I met you?"

JJ choked on the water she'd brought to her lips. "What makes you say that?"

"Come on, JJ, give me a little credit." He implored, flashing her a dimpled grin. "I'm not blind, I saw the way you looked at her when she was coming."

JJ groaned and Antoine put a sympathetic hand on top of hers.

"Let me guess," he said. "She didn't notice the way you look at her."

"If there's a god and if god is merciful, I'll be struck dead by lightning right now."

Antoine laughed. "Do you wanna talk about it?"

"You mean do I want to talk to you about my unrequited love for another woman while I'm on a date with you?"

"Well, yeah. What's wrong with that?"

JJ huffed. "Why are you so nice?"

Antoine shrugged. "What do I gotta be mean about? Is she straight, is that the problem?"

JJ laughed. "Hardly."

"She wasn't dating that blonde girl with her?"

JJ shook her head. "No, she's single."

"So what's the problem?"

"Why are you being so understanding?"

Antoine shrugged again, a mischievous glint in his eye. "Like I said, what do I got to be mean about? We've all been there and as far as it being another woman?" he chuckled and kept her waiting while he took another bite of his dinner. "Not everyone is as straight as you think they are."

JJ breathed out heavily and laughed at herself. "Okay, so it's like this: I'm hopelessly and I mean hopelessly in love with this woman but I have no idea if she feels the same way. I know she's attracted to me, but that's almost worse because if I start something and it means more to me than to her, I wouldn't be able to take it and I don't want to ruin our friendship which is fantastic." Maybe it was because he was virtually a stranger or maybe it was the easy way he seemed to get her to open up, but JJ found it remarkably easy to lay her woes out to Antoine.

He leaned back in his chair and chewed on the end of a breadstick thoughtfully. "That sounds unnecessarily complicated." He said finally, leaning forward again.

"Does it?"

"Sure. Have you told her how you feel?"

"God no."

Antoine nodded. "So you don't even know if you could be shooting yourself in the foot right now."

"What do you mean?"

"You and this woman are close, right?"

"She's my best friend."

"Then you owe it to her to tell her how you feel. Worst case scenario is she doesn't feel the same way and then," he shrugged. "It gets a little awkward for a couple weeks and you go back to normal." He held up a hand when JJ opened her mouth to protest. "Look, if you're really so close, that's how it's gonna play out. Trust me, I've been there. But if she does feel the same way? Then you guys have been wasting too much time."

JJ was sure that Garcia had said something similar to her before, but hearing it from an impartial party really made it click for JJ and she nodded enthusiastically. "You know what? You're right."

"I make that a habit. So you gonna tell her?"

"Yeah, I actually am."

"Good."

JJ's text alert going off interrupted whatever else Antoine was going to say and JJ glanced down at her phone, it was a message from Garcia.

'Do you know what's wrong with Emily?'

'Emily?' JJ texted back. 'Why would anything be wrong with her?'

'I don't know, but she seems really down. She's bumming everyone in a three foot radius of her out and I thought you might know what's up.'

JJ looked up at Antoine and down at her phone before nodding to herself and coming to a decision. 'I don't know but I'll be right there.'

'Aren't you on a date?'

'Not anymore.'

"I gotta go." JJ told Antoine, pulling out her wallet.

"Let me," Antoine replied, holding up a hand to stop her from removing her wallet from her purse. "Go get your girl and you can buy me dinner later and tell me all about it."

JJ grinned at him. "You're fabulous, you know that?"

"Don't I." he laughed as JJ strode out of the restaurant.

JJ moved with purpose through the crowd between the open apartments that were serving as 'party central,' on the lookout for Emily. She spied Garcia in the middle of a throng of dancing bodies dancing with Morgan and she went over to her friend, leaning in close to her ear so she could be heard over the music. "Have you seen Em?"

Garcia shook her head. "Not since I sent you that text! Try the apartment across from here, she said she wanted some air and they have a balcony."

JJ nodded and waved off her friend's knowing smirk as she made her way to the balcony of the apartment across from Garcia's. Partway there, she spotted Emily leaning with her elbows on the balcony railing, her back to the festivities. Unlike that time in the restaurant when she'd decided to confess her feelings and had chickened out, JJ felt a renewed sense of purpose and she slid through the crowed to get to Emily, touching her elbow lightly to get her attention.

Emily jumped at the touch but when she turned, instead of relaxing at realizing who it was, she looked even more tense.

"Hey, Em." JJ said just as Emily said her name. JJ laughed but Emily shook her head.

"JJ, I have to get this out."

"Get what out?"

"See, I had been practicing what to say but nothing sounded right. Nothing sounds right still but what it all boils down to is that I have to take a step back from our friendship."

JJ's heart plummeted. "What? Why?"

Emily took a deep breath and looked away from the hurt look on the blonde's face. "I was hoping you weren't going to ask why but of course you'd want to know why, why wouldn't you? It's only natural when your best friend says they can't be friends with you anymore that you would want to know why. Unless you find out that your best friend has been secretly in love with you" JJ's breath hitched, had she heard that right? "and then maybe you'd be relieved. Ecstatic even, well the thing is,"

"Emily." JJ interrupted softly, smiling involuntarily at how nervous Emily was. She had heard right, there was only one reason why Emily would be so anxious that she'd start rambling.

"No, JJ, I have to get this out you have to let me get this out or I'm never going to. God, I'm so sorry, this is such a mess and,"

"Em."

"All after you just came from what was probably a great date and here I am just being the most pathetic,"

"Emily Prentiss."

"Excuse for a lovesick human being because that's what I am JJ, I'm lovesick, I'm so sorry, I just,"

This time Emily was cut off by JJ's lips on hers and her eyes grew wide for a fraction of a second before fluttering closed and she gave herself over to the sensation. She didn't know what she'd done to deserve JJ kissing her, but she wanted to do it again and again if this was the result. The blonde's mouth was softer and warmer than Emily had daydreamed about; the fingers tangling in her hair more deft and demanding, the tongue running along the seam of her lips more insistent and she more willing to open her mouth than she had been in her daydreams too (and that was saying something).

They stood making out on the balcony like a couple of teenagers until a longing groan rumbled up from JJ's throat when Emily bit down gently on the blonde's bottom lip and JJ slowed their frenzied pace until they were giving each other a series of chaste kisses and then resting their foreheads together, both of them breathing hard, JJ's hands still tangled in Emily's hair and Emily's hands having found purchase at JJ's hips.

"Wow." JJ breathed.

"What was that for?" Emily asked in a trembling voice, pulling back slightly to look JJ in the eye. Her face was flushed and her lips swollen and Emily felt a sense of joy well within her.

"I had to get you to shut up somehow." JJ replied, rolling her eyes, causing Emily to chuckle.

"Feel free to shut me up any time."

"I love you too." JJ murmured against Emily's lips as she tilted her head in for another kiss, this one slower and sweeter. "I've been in love with you for what feels like forever."

"You have?"

JJ nodded. "I know we have a lot to talk about and compare notes on, but" she glanced through the balcony doors to where the party was really getting into high gear. "Can we just get out of here?"

Emily nodded back. "Yeah, of course, you want to talk?"

JJ moved quickly, gripping Emily's shoulders and pinning her roughly against the brick wall to the side of Emily, the kiss she delivered to her was hungry and insistent and she rolled her tongue tellingly over Emily's, swallowing the moan that erupted from the brunette. She pushed her leg between Emily's and lifted her thigh while biting down on Emily's lower lip before stepping back. "Talking isn't what I had in mind, Prentiss."

Emily looked dazed. Emily was dazed. She simply nodded dumbly, drunk on hormones and let JJ lead her back through the party. She waved vaguely at Garcia who she only knew they passed because when she hollered to ask where they were going, JJ's "away from here" had come out in such a way that it left nothing to the imagination where they were going and Garcia's answering squeal nearly pierced through the haze of lust that had wrapped itself around her. Nearly.

The only thing that mattered to her was JJ's hand in hers and the coquettish wink the blonde threw over her shoulder at her. This was right; this was how it was supposed to go. Emily could kick herself for letting so much fear and uncertainty get in the way of what she and JJ could have but now that it was happening, she couldn't find it in her to feel any kind of regret. Not even for how long it had taken. This was right; this was how it was supposed to go and it was better than any of her dreams.

End