When Stannis got home from school he found the Au Pair, Mel, cradling Renly. "Hey Stan."

"Hey Mel." Stannis grit his teeth. He had told Mel time and again that he preferred to be called Stannis, but she didn't listen. At one point he tried calling her by her full name so she'd get the idea, but he stopped it since Melisandre is a bit of a mouthful.

"I'm just about to put your brother to bed," said Mel.

"Good." Stannis went upstairs. It was at times like this, that Stannis was glad that his older brother, Robert, was away at college. Knowing Robert, he would have been all over Mel and uncle Harbert would have to find a new Au Pair. Though, Stannis couldn't really blame Robert. She was tall, slender, and had large breasts. Stannis had to admit that Mel was attractive, to someone like Robert of course. Personally Stannis wasn't really interested in her. In addition to constantly calling him Stan, she was flaky. Mel was good with Renly, but not with much else. She was roughly Stannis's age, apparently having dropped out of high school. A few times Stannis had tried to lecture her on the benefits of a high school education, but this seemed to offend her.

Stannis got to his room, went to his computer, and checked his e-mail. There he found a message from his teacher, Mr. Cressen. Attached to the message was Mr. Cressen's letter of recommendation, which Stannis had asked for. Stannis was applying for college and needed a letter of recommendation for the application. Mr. Cressen was all to happy to give it to him, but was disappointed that Stannis was applying to a local college. Whenever he had the opportunity, Cressen had told Stannis that he could go to practically any university he wanted to. Stannis responded by pointing out that, with his parents gone and Robert away at college, someone had to stay behind to help Harbert manage the family business. Cressen had told Stannis that Harbert could manage things on his own, but Stannis doubted that.

Stannis read the letter and was satisfied with the end product. After forwarding the e-mail to the application board, Stannis went downstairs. When he got there, Stannis noticed an odd smell coming from the living room. He popped his head in to see Mel, sitting on an armchair and smoking something. "Hey Stan. I've just put your brother down for his nap."

"Is that a cigarette?" said Stannis.

"No." Mel laughed. "It's a joint."

"What!" said Stannis. "Do you always smoke when you're supposed to be look after my brother."

"Aren't you listening?" said Mel. "He's taking a nap."

"Put that out right now," said Stannis. "As soon as my uncle comes home, I'm telling him all about this."

Mel laughed again. "Oh lighten up. It's just weed. You've tried weed before, right?"

"No, I haven't," said Stannis. "Why would I?"

"Well don't knock it 'til you've tried it." Mel held the joint up to Stannis. "Go ahead. Try it."

Stannis didn't know why he did it. Maybe it was to prove a point, or maybe it was the smile on Mel's face, but the next thing he knew was that he had put the joint in his mouth and inhaled. Soon things became a bit hazy. Stannis sat down on the coach, light-headed from the smoke. At first he felt like he was going to be sick, but then an odd feeling hit him. He felt relaxed, almost sleepy. Mel sat down beside him. "So how is it?"

"I like it," said Stannis.

"So you've never smoked weed before?" said Mel.

"No," said Stannis.

"What about cigarettes?" said Mel. "Have you ever smoked a cigarette?"

"No," said Stannis.

"Have you ever gotten drunk?" said Mel.

"No," said Stannis.

"Have you done anything fun?" said Mel. "Have you even kissed a girl?"

"No," said Stannis.

"Do you want to kiss a girl?" said Mel.

"Maybe," said Stannis.

Mel put her arms around Stannis and kissed him. "Well now you have."

Before he knew what was going on, Mel was on top of Stannis, her kisses covering his neck with lipstick. A voice in the back of Stannis's head, Who wears lipstick to go babysitting? But Stannis ignored it. His hands went to remove Mel's blouse, but she'd beaten him to the punch. She threw her blouse to the side, revealing that she wasn't wearing a bra. Mel pushed her breasts into Stannis's face. Stannis kissed her. Mel then went to unbutton Stannis's shirt. She kissed his bare chest. Her hands made their way down to Stannis's jeans and unzipped them. "Have you ever done this with a girl?"

"No," said Stannis.

"Well now you're going to," said Mel. Just then, the two heard someone clearing their throat. They looked up and saw uncle Harbert looking at them.

"Uncle!" said Stannis. "I was...was..."

"Don't worry about it," said Harbert.

"Really?" said Stannis.

"Yes," said Harbert. "Go ahead."

Stannis gave his uncle a weird look. "Are you sure?"

"Yes," said Harbert. "We didn't think you had it in you."

"Who's we?" said Stannis.

"Me and your parents. They actually didn't even think you liked women. Excuse me, I'm needed elsewhere." Harbert left to go check on a crying Renly.

Stannis sat there, stunned. Mel rested her head on Stannis's shoulder. "Do you want to finish?"

"I don't know," said Stannis. "I don't think I can...perform with my uncle in the other room."

"Okay." Mel got up and started to put on her clothes. "See you next time Stannis."

"Where are you going?" said Stannis. "We can always go to my room."