EPILOGUE

It was dinner time at the Mystery Shack. Tonight on the menu: Beef stew, with potatoes and vegetables. Stan told everyone he bought it from the shop, but Dipper suspected differently. He could swear he spotted a few traces of tire track on the meat... That cheap old *******... But, hey... At LEAST it was fresh...

He pulled his mind away from the gourmet feast in front of him for a minute. It had been one week since the 'incident' which had led to the shack gaining another permanent inhabitant, The Northwests being charged with various crimes including child abuse, child neglect, grand larceny, fraud... etc, and he had (kinda, sorta) confessed his feelings towards a certain former blonde who was now sitting at the table across from him. Why were his palms sweaty just thinking about her?

He mentioned his apprehension to Wendy during their weekly movie night a few days ago, but she just laughed, gave him a 'friendly' punch in the shoulder (which still hurt) and told him she was SURE Pacifica knew about it already. After all, when the younger Mystery Twin was mooning around the redhead when he still had a crush on her, he just couldn't keep his mouth shut... So, by the time he confirmed it, it was already old news to the lumberjack-in-training.

Wendy just advised him that everything would work out for the best... So he shouldn't start procrastinating by making lists or looking for help from Journal No 3. If it was going to happen, it would happen... So, no worries. "Well, it was easy for HER" Dipper thought, "She's already moved on to Nate. This is my first ever potential serious relationship. And I haven't a clue as to what the first step should be." Needless to say, he missed most of the film by overthinking everything. (Though, in all truth, he didn't miss much)

He tried asking Mabel, but she was busy putting together the rough edit for her magnum opus... The remake of the video for Love Story, this time for a farmyard demographic. Aside from a few occasions where Waddles just lied in the mud instead of moving to the right spot for the next shot, or Gompers had nearly electrocuted himself by chewing through the camera cable, it had all gone rather well.

Candy, Grenda and Mabel were particularly pleased with the big romantic scene, where Gompers actually licked Waddles on the snout. Either this was the start of a wonderful pairing, or the pig had been helping himself to some of the goat's chow, and Gompers was simply cleaning up the remnants from around Waddles's mouth. Only cynics would opt for the latter answer.

As for Soos and Stan, Soos (as nice as he is) had needed ENOUGH help getting himself a girlfriend in the first place, so that ruled him out. And Dipper had heard some unsettling rumours about Stan's teachings when it came to 'the birds and the bees'... so he wasn't an option, either.

So, there Dipper pondered, mixing together his peas and his carrots, while the rest of the table chattered. Should he ask her out on a date? Or was that too forward? Would she think flowers were too mushy? Was it too soon to commit... After all, they were just kids. And was it even the right time to ask... What with all that stuff going on with her parents. And what if...

"DIPPER!" He heard Pacifica's voice calling his name while he was in the middle of his culinary experimentation. In snapping out of his delirium, his elbow, which had been propping him up, suddenly gave way, and he was unceremoniously dumped on the floor, nursing a bruised shin. After half a second, his plate decided to follow suit, which left his hair covered in a nice combination of beef and potatoes, and his clothes decorated by the vegetables he had been stirring until just before his little accident.

The three other eaters stopped what they were doing and burst out into simultaneous laughter, with Grunkle Stan almost falling off his own chair in hysterics. Dipper frowned at the trio while picking himself up "WHEN AM I GOING TO GET SOME RESPECT AROUND HERE?!" he complained, but things were about to get a whole lot worse. Always alert to the possibility of scraps from the table, Waddles had heard the noise of something collapsing from where he lay Mabel's bed, and had run down the stairs to investigate.

"AARGH!" Said the boy with the cap as hundreds of pounds of porcine weight knocked him to the ground again, before a large, sticky tongue was giving his encrusted hair the licking of a lifetime. By now, Grunkle Stan HAD toppled off his seat, and was rolling around on the floor next to Pacifica in merriment, while Mabel had somehow manage to summon the strength between her giggles to add another picture to her blackmail collection. "Maybe I should have cast Dipper as the love interest in my video instead of that old goat, Waddles and my brother seem to have a real rapport" she thought with glee.

Eventually, with the help of the others, Dipper was able to prise the giant pink creature off his chest, before scurrying off with his tail between his legs to wash off what was left of the mess, and his dignity. "Smooth Dipper, real smooth" he sarcastically remarked to himself as he ran up the stairs, accompanied by a cacophony of laughter.

He slunk into the bathroom, locked the door and removed his shirt. Looking back at him from the mirror was, from his point of view, a feeble specimen of manhood... unruly hair, big head, bald chest... And of course, not forgetting the little noodle arms... Just what would a high class, intelligent, sophisticated and beautiful girl like Pacifica EVER see in something like... THAT? That machine at the cafe was right... He WAS just a little weed. A little weed, who listened to BABBA, who had no chance with...

KNOCK KNOCK! "Can I come in?" There was a sudden noise at the door. Dipper glanced behind him, and gulped. That could only be... "PACIFICA! I'm getting changed! What do you want?!" he probably sounded harsher then he meant to. "Just to talk." Came the reply from the other side. He sighed. "Okay, just a minute." He quickly put his disposed garment back on (Don't want to subject her to THAT horrible sight, he thought) before unlocking and opening the door.

"What took you so long, dummy?" Said Pacifica in a mock haughty tone as she walked in, before softening a bit. "I'm sorry for laughing so much down there, but you have to admit... It WAS hilarious. I mean... I thought things like that only happened in films... First of all, you fell down, and then the food dropped, and then the pig..." She had to put a hand over her mouth to avoid cracking up again.

Dipper frowned at her amusement. "Go on, laugh it up. That's all I am around here, anyway... A big joke." He looked away from the object of his affections, back at the mirror. He felt so downcast. WHY did this keep happening to him? Why was he the butt of every humourous situation? Had some kind of curse been placed on him when he was a baby so he'd always act like a total klutz? It wasn't fair...

Out of nowhere, he felt himself being twirled round, and stared straight in the eye by Pacifica. "HEY, HEY. Don't EVER say that about yourself." She firmly told him. There was no joviality now, no mocking... Just concern and determination in her expression. "You ARE strong. Remember when you saved your sister from that giant Gideon powered robot? You ARE special. Do you recall how you helped to rescue the town from the machinations of the Society Of The Blind Eye. And you ARE the smartest boy I know. Who else could be geeky enough to uncover the long hidden mysteries in that nerd book?"

After that impassioned outburst, she looked away with a slight blush. "And... Most importantly of all, you're the only person who saw the good in me... Who helped me to become a better person than who I was... Who had the courage to tell me, 'the great' Pacifica Northwest, to my face, exactly what I was doing wrong. Without you, I'd still be a shallow, materialistic, nasty, rude little diva with no friends aside from the ones that only hung out with me for my wealth and status. You saved ME, Dipper. And I can never thank you enough for that."

She ended her heartfelt words by giving him a little smooch on the cheek. Nothing too romantic, but it was enough to turn the boy as red as a beet. "Er... Thanks P-Pacifica. " he stuttered, suddenly feeling woozy. She smiled. "Good, glad we've cleared that up. Now, did you hear what I asked you at the dinner table, or were you off in your little world again? As if I didn't know the answer."

Dipper twiddled his thumbs. She knew him so well, even though she'd only been living there a fortnight. "Er... Not really. Would you mind repeating it?" The former rich girl rolled her eyes. "What I SAID was, can you do me a favour, and come with me down to the old headquarters of The Blind Eye? I want to watch that memory tube you gave me... And I figure, if it has anything unsettling on it, I'd want to be with someone I care about... And I guess you'll do. Pretty please?" she fluttered her eyelashes.

"Er... Sure Pacifica, anytime. All you have to do is ask." Said Dipper, nervously scratching the back of his head. "GREAT! We'll leave in a minute." She smiled, while clutching something. "But before we do, there's just one more thing I have to take care of first." Dipper had been so preoccupied with his thoughts he hadn't seen it until now, but there in her hands, was a large crown. It wasn't glittering at all though... So it must be plastic.

"Ooooh" Dipper grinned, putting two and two together. "I'll leave you to it, then. I'll just have a little rinse and then I'll be ready..." "NO, DIPPER" came the sudden, sharp response from Pacifica. "You'll have a full shower. I don't want to walk around town with someone who has half his dinner stuck to his head. And change those clothes, too. I may no longer be a Northwest, but I do have CERTAIN standards. " She smirked, while raising an eyebrow.

"Um... Whatever you say Ma'am." Dipper dutifully complied. "Oh, and you REALLY shouldn't discuss your most private thoughts in front of the mirror like that, where ANY eavesdropper can hear you. And don't be ashamed of liking BABBA. They ROCK."Pacifica said finally, as she gave him a little wink, before making her way out of the room. Dipper facepalmed. HE'D DONE IT AGAIN! When would he ever learn?!

He pondered her words carefully. Sure, he was much more Clark Kent than Superman, but he was who he was. Just like Pacifica was just starting to be now, free from the restraints her parents had imposed on her. At least, HE had always had that choice. Besides, as she'd said, he hadn't done bad for a little dweeb.

From downstairs, as he started to get undressed, he heard the joyful sounds of his sister, as well as the moaning of a very compressed Pacifica being hugged into submission. Feeling he had a lot to be thankful for, Dipper stared back at his reflection with renewed confidence. This was shaping up to be the best summer yet.

(AAnndd that is most definitely it. My thanks to the many people who followed and favourited it... It has gone way beyond my expectations in terms of it's popularity. I hope you enjoyed reading it, as much as I did writing it. Now, it's time for me to move onto another project... "What is it?" you ask? Well, I would tell you... But then I'd have to... er... deny all knowledge of it. Yes, that'll work. See you all very soon!)