The icy water is somewhat kept at bay by Leah's wetsuit, although my feet, hands and face takes the brunt of the cold.
"Shit! It's freezing!" Seth yells as we paddle out in a tightly formed group.
"Chickening out are we?" I laugh at him.
"Not a chance," he yells, but his next words squeeze my heart with love for the little man next to me as he speaks softer. "She's watching, I know she is. And if I chicken out now she'll be laughing her ass off for eternity."
I smile his way, not answering.
"Everyone okay?" Sam calls back and we all check in. It's a rule we put in place right at the beginning of our night surfs to keep check on everyone.
Everyone takes a couple of waves as Sam and I sit back, his hand holding onto my board, just like Jake used to do.
"I can feel him sometimes," Sam says softly, barely audible over the sound of the waves around us. "Like he's with me when I need him, when the pain gets too much."
"I know what you mean. I used to dream about him," I answer and Sam looks my way. "At the beginning I used to dream about the accident a lot, seeing him dead, the blood…" I shake my head to rid myself of the images. "Then I had a dream about him not being too happy about Edward, but I also had a dream about Leah telling me to live my life, to keep them in my heart…to be happy."
He's quiet for a while. "You know the dream about Jake was just your insecurities, right?" he asks.
"I do now," I say. "But for a long while it was difficult. I felt like I was betraying him…and then what you said when you first saw Edward and I kiss…"
"Oh Bella, you know that wasn't me. I would never wish anything but happiness on you. I'll never forgive myself for saying those things to you…for hurting you the way I did."
I lean over and brush a kiss against his cheek.
"I have you back Sam, that's all that matters to me."
We stare out at the loud antics of our group for a few seconds, a fire on the beach flickering in the distance and I know Emmett has arrived.
"Hand in hand?" he asks.
I hesitate. I've only ever done it with Jake and even then I had trouble. He sees my trepidation.
"I won't let you fall Bella," he promises.
I nod, letting go of my anxiety. If a fall is the worst I have to worry about, well, that's fine by me.
We paddle side by side and he's right next to me when we catch a wave. Moving closer he reaches out his hand and without a second thought I grab onto it.
The pack is howling and clapping behind us and we're laughing as our hands keep each other steady.
I look over to Sam and for a split second I swear I see Leah and Jacob on the wave with us, their smiles lighting our way. It warms me inside.
After another half an hour we all make our way to the warmth of the fire and Edward pulls me into his arms, not bothered that I'm wet and cold.
"Baby, you're freezing," he says as he unzips my wetsuit, my teeth clattering together as I watch everyone else undress as well.
"Losing your edge?" Paul grins over at me.
"Piss off," I manage between frozen lips and he gives me the finger like he always does, followed by a whack against the back of his head by Sam that has the two wrestling each other to the ground in jest.
We all cop a spot and I sit back against Edward's back, his arms folding around me, trying to warm me up.
Corona's all around has us chatting into the wee hours of the morning and when we say goodbye it doesn't feel sad, it feels like tomorrow is going to be just as it used to be before everything happened. Just like that, everything is fixed.
Edward drives us home and I yawn as we walk in.
"Tired?"
I yawn and giggle at the same time.
"Go on up Baby, I'll lock up down here."
"I love you," I mumble into his neck before making my way upstairs.
.
.
.
I stare out at the waters we know so well. Just beyond the surf I see Jacob waiting for me and I paddle out to him as fast as I can.
When I reach him he has that boyish sarcastic grin on his tanned face.
"What took you so long?" he asks.
"Fuck off," I jibe back and I sit up on my board as he links hands with me.
I watch him staring out towards the beach for a few seconds before he speaks.
"He's the one Bella," he says softly as he turns to me. "He's the one that's going to keep you safe and make you happy forever."
Tears mingle with the salty sea on my cheeks and he bends over to wipe it off. I grab his hand and lay my face into his big palm.
"I love you Jake. I'll always love you."
He nods, his smile lonely and peaceful at the same time.
"I know Bella. But you love him too. And that's okay. You need to open up and let go…I'll always be with you Bella, but I can't be what he is and you need to be okay with that. I can't be happier that you've found someone that loves you like I do."
"You're really okay with this?" I ask.
"I've never lied to you Bella, and I don't intend on starting now."
I nod because we've never lied to each other about anything.
"You'll always be here Jake," I say, placing my hand over my heart.
"Where I should be," he whispers as he leans over, his warm mouth closing over mine, my hand clutching his short black hair as I kiss him back.
.
.
.
I wake up peacefully, my eyes opening to find Edward's face inches way from mine, his breathing a steady rhythm of deep sleep.
I softly move out of the bed, pulling a sheet around me and taking a deep breath of sea air as I lean on the railing of my balcony.
I watch the waves make their way to the shore for a few minutes before I feel Edward's warm arms wrap around me from behind.
"I hate waking up without you next to me," he mumbles sleepily at my ear and I lean back into him.
"I had a dream," I say as I turn around in his arms. "About Jake."
He studies me for a few seconds and for a brief moment I see panic in his eyes…panic at the thought that I'll run from him again.
I lean forward and kiss him gently and even though the kiss is chaste and sweet, it still ignites that desire deep inside.
We make our way over to the bed and he pulls me lying on top of him, only the thin fabric of the sheet between us.
"You okay?" he asks.
"Yeah. I am. He…he's okay with us Edward. He wants me to be happy."
His hands come up and he cups my face.
"Then no more running?" he asks, worry still etched on his beautiful face.
I shake my head. "Never again Edward. I feel like I've been running since the accident and I want nothing more than to stay here with you for the rest of my life."
He exhales audibly and before I know it his mouth has captured mine in a searing kiss, one that travels down my spine and works its way through the rest of my body.
Beneath the thin sheet I can feel him growing against me and I sigh into him, his hands gripping my ass and grinding me into him from above.
I don't want anything else but this right here. I don't need anything else besides Edward.
He rescued me more than once…pulled me together, fit the pieces of the puzzle back together.
And he gave me something that I never thought I'd have. He fit the final puzzle piece into my life…and that puzzle piece is him.
And so we come to the end of this journey. I hope you enjoyed the ride. Thank you to all my amazing supporters. The pm's, the reviews, the follows and favorites. It all comes together and helps form a story for each writer. Without your support, we would be nothing and our stories would not exist.
I'll add on an epilogue, not sure when but it shouldn't be too long.
Love you all and hope to see you on my next journey.