Union

First thing in the morning, Dipper, Mabel, and Glinda stood at the door to the office of the Justice of the Peace, waiting for the building to open.

Dipper was in the tuxedo he had borrowed for the party, and Glinda was in her purple party dress from the night before. Mabel was wearing a new white sweater with letters freshly stitched on it: "I ALWAYS CRY AT WEDDINGS."

"I can't believe my little bro's getting married!" said Mabel. "Whee! I am over the moon!"

"I can't believe they're going to let us do this, legally," said Dipper.

"Gravity Falls has the most relaxed marriage age laws in the country, sweetie," said Glinda. "It comes from the loophole that lets people marry woodpeckers. Birds reach physical maturity at a much younger age than people do. The way the law is written, there's no lower bound on marriageable age at all."

"So when Gideon wanted to force me to marry him, he could have done it legally, even though he's only ten?" said Mabel.

"That's right," said Glinda.

"Ick," said Mabel.

"This marriage probably won't be accepted outside of Gravity Falls," Dipper said.

"That's all we need for now. It will help me to have legal grounds to stay out of the hands of my parents, or maybe I should call them my keepers," said Glinda. "As we get older it will be accepted more and more places."

"My parents are going to flip," said Dipper. "But I love you so much that I don't care."

Preston Northwest's car drove up. He got out and came storming up to them.

"Pacifica Elise Northwest, what do you think you're doing? You ran off from the party and stayed out all night with a boy. This is scandalous."

"We're getting married," said Glinda, holding tight to Dipper's hand.

"What? No, you're not," said Preston. "You're coming home at once."

"No," said Glinda. "It's not my home."

"Before you try anything rough, take a look at this," said Mabel.

She held up a cell phone, and played back the video they had recorded off the memory eraser playback device, with Preston's confession to the cloning scheme.

"Where did you get that?" asked Preston. "It's fake. I don't remember saying that."

"The trouble with erasing the memories of your mistakes is that they can still come back to haunt you," said Dipper.

"Give me that," said Preston, snatching at the phone. Mabel danced out of his reach.

"We have copies, and friends who are ready to put that out on the internet if anything happens to us," said Mabel.

"This is blackmail," said Preston.

"Only to leave us alone," said Glinda. "Since I know I'm not your real first-born daughter, I'm of no use to you. I'll Bill Cipher the truth if you try to use me for the prophecy wheel. If you want to honor the family deal you'll have to call back the real Pacifica from Europe."

"I still want you back with us," said Preston. "It's ridiculous for you to jump into marriage with a young peasant you've barely met. It makes the family look bad."

"I love Dipper," said Glinda. "And I need this marriage for a real identity and citizenship. And as for making the family look bad, it is bad."

"You don't need it for citizenship," said Preston. "The social security number you already have is real. I had to get you one in order to claim both you and your sister as dependents on my income taxes."

"What's my real name?" asked Glinda.

"Pacifica2," said Preston. "Pacifica2 Llama Northwest."

"I have a digit in my first name? Lovely," said Glinda. "I'll have it legally changed as soon as I can. At least I can change my last name today, to Pines."

"You still insist on getting married?" asked Preston.

"Yes," said Glinda and Dipper together.

"You'll regret this," said Preston. "And so will you, boy. You can't support Pacifica2 in the lifestyle to which she's accustomed."

"I know, but I'd rather live as a peasant than continue in a lie," said Glinda.

"You've made a powerful enemy today," said Preston.

"You already were one, planning to turn me over to Bill," said Glinda. "We just didn't know it."

"You haven't heard the last of this," said Preston.

He stormed back to his car, and the chauffeur drove him away.

"Woop woop! You did it!" said Mabel. "You stood up to him."

"I was scared stiff," said Glinda.

"So was I, but together we made it through," said Dipper. He kissed her.

The door to the Justice of the Peace opened.

"Let's do this!" said Glinda.

"Yeah!" said Dipper.

Dipper and Glinda entered hand in hand, with Mabel behind them throwing confetti.