Like other stories in the AU series, this explores what could happen if things didn't go as planned at the diner on the day of the Woodstick festival. All characters belong to Alex Hirsch, not me. Has Dipcifica.

Potion Noir

Chapter 1 - Needing Help

"You asked for it, you got it! An entire 48-hour marathon of Ghost Harassers on the Used to Be About History Channel!"

Dipper sat in the old yellow armchair. "Be strong, bladder. We're not gonna move 'til sunset."

The voice of Toby Determined came on. "We interrupt this program to bring you breaking news!"

"Aw, what?" said Dipper.

Mabel jumped into the chair to his right. "It's starting!'

Candy jumped into the chair to his left. "Turn it up!"

Grenda jumped in front of them all, breaking a lamp. "Make room for Grenda!"

On the TV, Toby Determined was outside Northwest Manor.

"Well, tonight's the night, but I've been out here for days!" said Toby, looking dirty and disheveled. "The Northwest family's annual high-society-shindig-ball-soiree is here! And even though common folk aren't let in, that doesn't stop us from camping out for a peek at the fanciness!"

Mabel, Grenda, and Candy all oohed and their eyes got big.

Dipper said, "Okay, can we please explain why people care about this?"

"It's pretty much the best party of all time," said Grenda. "Rich food, richer boys!"

"They say each gift basket has a live quail inside!" said Mabel.

Candy stood at the TV screen, pawing desperately. "Give me your life, Pacifica."

"Pff. Guys, in case you've already forgotten, Pacifica Northwest is the worst," said Dipper.

There was a knock at the door, and Dipper got up to answer it.

"And that's not just jealousy talking. I'd say that to her face."

He opened the door and saw Pacifica. Quickly he slipped outside and shut the door behind him.

"Pacifica, you're the best."

He hugged her and she hugged him back.

"Thank you for coming to see me," said Dipper.

"Dipper, I need your help."

It had started a few days ago. Dipper went to Greasy's Diner to find Mabel so they could get ready to go to the Woodstick festival.

He found her in a booth with some pink-coated fries in a basket in front of her, hugging herself with happiness.

"Guess what, Dipper? I just hooked up Robbie and Tambry! They're going together now."

"What? Robbie and Tambry? How did you do that?"

"I'm just an amazing matchmaker," said Mabel. "And I had a little help from these chili fries, dosed with love potion from the Love God. He's a real cupid."

"Love potion, for real?" Dipper asked.

"All they had to do was eat it or touch it, and they fell in love with the first person they saw, which happened to be each other," said Mabel. "Now my work is done. I'm ready to go to the concert."

Mabel got up from the table, prepared to leave.

"Hold on a second," said Dipper. "We can't just leave the fries sitting here. The busboy might fall in love with Lazy Susan, or something. We have to dispose of them properly."

"I'll leave that little detail to you," said Mabel, skipping out the door.

Dipper carefully picked up the basket, making sure he didn't get any potion on himself. The trash can in the diner didn't seem safe enough. He took the fries out the door, and walked quickly down the sidewalk with his head down, making sure not to spill any potion.

He bumped into someone on the street. The basket of fries dropped to the ground, splashing pink potion onto his sneakers and onto the designer shoes of the other person.

"Hey, watch where you're going!" said a familiar voice. "You got your messy commoner food on me. Oh, it's you.. Actually, it's wonderful to see you again, Dipper."

"It's great to see you too, Pacifica."

They had gone for a long walk in the woods and talked about everything. Dipper forgot completely about going to the concert. He told Pacifica they had been affected by love potion, and they discussed whether they should try to find the Love God that Mabel was talking about, to see if there was an antidote. Pacifica overruled that, saying it would embarrass her family. They would pretend to still dislike each other in public, but see each other in secret, for now.

So here they were, on the back porch of the Mystery Shack.

"What do you need, Pacifica? I'd be glad to help," said Dipper.

"There's a ghost haunting our mansion," said Pacifica. "My parents told me to lie to you and trick you into getting rid of it for us, but I can't do that. I'll tell you everything I know about the ghost and its curse on the Northwests."