By the time Sunday rolled around, the phone conversation still echoed in his mind. It left Alfred feeling out of sorts. The burgers didn't smell good and he wavered in the middle of the cafeteria, not sure what to eat. Kiku hadn't shown his face yet and Alfred didn't know what he felt like doing without his best friend. Maybe he just felt confused.

The sandwich he made himself reflected this state of mind—peanut butter, then turkey and ham, tomatoes sandwiched between layers of chips and lettuce, and jelly on the bottom. Even the bun he realized to be a bagel. Alfred grimaced at his plate, then decided to sit outside. He did like the sunshine after all and summer neared its end. He didn't want to miss his favorite season just because school liked to coop him up inside. Plenty of others sat in the courtyard and he headed for the first empty table, not checking for friends at all. A wave caught his attention and Alfred turned. He stopped dead, his heart skipping a beat.

Ivan sat talking with the brunette he remembered from the library. The librarian? Or was he a student? Either way, he looked nervous. Alfred realized they both stared right at him—library-boy with something like shock and awe, and Ivan with a giant smile. Was he actually waving Alfred over? There were extra seats…

For whatever unexplained reason, Alfred found himself walking toward them. "What? You want something?" he snapped, not in the mood to mince words. Alfred's fake smile offset the lack of brightness in his eyes. Ivan frowned. Real or fake? It pissed Alfred off so much that he couldn't tell the difference. Why did he have to feel so strange just because of this one person?

Ivan put his smile on a second later, like he couldn't stand showing a lesser expression. Any other day, Alfred could ignore the similarity to what he did himself. Ivan pulled out the chair next to his. "This is a rare thing. You are not with the little Asian one so I thought I'd offer a seat."

Normal did not work like this. As out of sorts as Alfred felt, he longed for the normal. All of a sudden, it occurred to him that he never made Ivan look like an idiot or a douche and here the guy was, not being either. How many times before did Ivan trip him in the lunchroom? Alfred took a few steps, then threw himself forward in a dramatic trip, throwing food into the air. Ivan stared down at him with a blank expression.

"What are you doing?"

Alfred lifted his head, glaring past a full pout. Ivan didn't react though. Even if he just invited the other boy to a friendly sit down, his face said he didn't care. As if nothing happened, he picked at the sandwich mess with a look of bafflement toward it. Alfred picked himself up a second later. He didn't want to eat that sandwich anyway so he didn't mind seeing it splattered across the ground and table. Who was obsessed here? Ivan wasn't even paying any attention to him. Alfred pointed a finger right at the other boy. "It's your fault!"

"Ehh?" Ivan whined, finally looking right at Alfred. The brunette who continued to hover behind Ivan until now muttered some nonsense about Ivan's paper, apologized profusely, and dashed away. Neither spared him a glance. "I didn't do anything. Don't you think you're acting strange?"

Alfred's face flushed with anger. "I'm acting weird? You're the one who turned weird first! What the hell is wrong with you?!" he yelled. Ivan's eyes widened as multiple people turned to look at them. Alfred didn't care though. "You only pick on me and when you're nice, it's even worse! I don't get it. Do you hate me or not?!"

Ivan stared back, looking surprised. "I don't hate you," he offered in a mild tone that didn't match his blank expression. "Actually I quite like you." With his chin propped up on one hand, his eyes bore right into Alfred. Once again Ivan felt off, this time because his voice lacked anything childish or cold in it. He sounded almost warm even if his face didn't look it. "I really thought you knew that."

"Huh?!" Alfred exclaimed. He dropped both hands onto the table as he leaned forward. "You think you've been nice or something?!" Was Ivan retarded?

"Hmm…yes?"

Alfred groaned. Apparently so. "You should go back to kindergarten then because you are way off, dude. If you like me, then freakin act like it!" He flipped Ivan off then stormed back inside to get a real lunch. Ivan's eyes stayed on him the entire time and he really didn't fucking care. He felt like ants were crawling on his skin. In that moment, all of his vigor to get Ivan expelled, returned.

xXx

Monday rolled around and Alfred hadn't yet sleep a single night through. His anger deflated to a point where he mostly felt restless, but also guilty and down as well. The fight replayed in his head along with his conversations with Gilbert and Kiku. It wasn't all Ivan's fault. Mostly so, but if those other guys were right, he screwed up somewhere too. A part of him wanted to ask Ivan if he felt tangled up in this web too. But he didn't ask. He didn't say anything to Ivan.

Before their little fight, the two made plans to meet up in the library again and share notes. Alfred paced back and forth in the back corner. Say something? Don't say something. He made another pass around the table as he continued to debate in his head. Guilty and angry and guilty and so completely wound up which made him angry.

"Afternoon." The sullen greeting knocked Alfred out of his thoughts. He whirled to see Ivan a few yards away, wrapped up tight in his scarf with eyes that wouldn't meet Alfred's. Not that he was trying to meet eyes either. Alfred tried to form a return greeting, but the cotton in his mouth refused it. Anger flashed again, taking over.

Instead of a greeting, all that came out was, "Yo." Alfred stalked back to the table and slapped a stack of papers on it. "I'm just dropping these off. Since I don't think either of us want to be here, I'll be off. Email me when you finish your part." Alfred bit his lip as much to hide his nerves as to stop himself from saying anything worse. The things he said, he didn't mean to say at all. Anything else would do, but what? If they were just going to fight, it would be better to say nothing. He thought that, but he still couldn't figure out what he wanted to do and say. Or better yet, how he was supposed to feel.

Ivan hesitated, still well out of arms reach. He kept his head down, sandy locks covering his so familiar eyes. For too many seconds, the silence stretched and Alfred watched the tail end of Ivan's scarf as he tried to make his legs move. Barely a second later, that scarf end swished out of view. "Very well. I have no interest in talking to you either." Ivan grabbed the papers and whirled away. "You were right, you know…I don't know how to be nice."

Alfred lifted wide eyes to meet Ivan's backside. What kind of response was that? When he picked a fight, Ivan was supposed to rise back. Not…this. Without another word, Ivan walked away. Huh, wait. I haven't decided if I want to talk to you or not. Stick around until I figure it out! But Alfred couldn't make his mouth say those words and besides, Ivan already reached the stairs. Could that pace be classified as running away? Slamming a fist into the yellow chair, Alfred really wondered. For the first time since the semester started, Ivan left him alone. Alone? Well fuck him and his temperamental confusingness! Alfred should be whooping for joy right now, but his fists just clenched tighter. Before he could chase after Ivan and land a punch on him for saying stupid crap like that, a flash of color caught his eye.

Alfred bent to inspect the fallen thing on the pea green carpet. The miniature photo and the text next to it reading, 'Ivan Braginsky,' stared back. With a wicked smile, Alfred picked up the ID card. "Well, you did say you'd treat me to lunch some time. Don't mind if I do." Still grinning, he stalked straight to the cafeteria.

Like someone on a mission, Alfred raced his way through the other boy's meal money. He bought himself lunch and then he ladened his arms with junk food from the store. He did multiple trips. He spent a good few hours on this, trying to use as much of the money as possible. But as the hours went on, the more Alfred's feet dragged. What the hell. He'd been at this for most of the day and Ivan hadn't shown up to reclaim his ID? Seriously, how'd he even get into his dorm building? Where was he now? Holed up somewhere crying? Alfred let out a little laugh and the girl at the cash register gave him an odd look. She rung up his toilet paper, six bags of Doritos, and a can of beef stew for Kiku, shaking her head all the while.

"Will that be all?"

Alfred shrugged one shoulder. He dropped a sour candy on top of the pile. "Yeah." This time, he didn't bother going back. He dropped the food on his bed and started on the candy even as he scowled. He blamed his expression on the sour taste. This was boring. Ivan got the huge meal plan too so even if he wanted to, he couldn't burn through it all in one day. He didn't much feel like trying. Even though Alfred went and hung out in all the best places to be found, Ivan never showed his face. "Whatever. I'm done with this." His shoulders slumped and a perpetual frown on his face, Alfred stood in the middle of room and stared at the ID card. "Stupid Ivan! If you want your damn card back, you'll have to come here and find it!" With that, Alfred yanked open one of his drawers and shoved the ID inside. He fell onto his bed after that to in silence.

A knock pulled Alfred out of the drowsy half-sleep he fell into. "Alfred!" someone whined. Being only half awake, Alfred rolled over and ignored it. If Mattie wanted in, then he could use his key and everyone else just needed to leave him alone. "I know this is your room. Alfred, let me in!" the voice called again, this time with more impatience and bite. It got Alfred's eyes open as he shot up on his bed. Oh…shit.

"Go away!" he snapped back. Looking around his room, Alfred winced. With a glance to the door every now and then, he started shoving the food pile onto the floor and over to his brother's side of the room.

Ivan knocked even harder, enough to make the door shudder in it's frame. "Alfred! I'm sick of this game! I let you play around, but I want my ID back." Alfred winced. So much for denying that. No, since when did he plan to deny it? He wanted Ivan to show up and here he was. Alfred flung open the door just before Ivan knocked again.

"What makes you think I have it? I mean, where did you last see the card?" he asked with a smirk as he leaned through the opening. Ivan stood with his arms crossed, appraising Alfred without humor. A second later, the taller boy flashed one of his killer smiles.

"I last saw it in your sticky little hands," Ivan hummed. Without waiting for further response, he pushed his way inside. "Oh, I see you're alone today as well. How splendid. Now, where did you put it?" He walked straight to Alfred's desk and started rifling through the objects spread out there. Alfred twitched and dived after him, snatching up his plan and shoving it in a back pocket, but otherwise did nothing to hinder Ivan.

"Wait, you knew I stole it?! Then why'd you wait until now to show up?" he exclaimed. Crossing his arms, Alfred let out a huff. "Anyway, what makes you think I'm going to tell you where it is after I put in the effort of hiding it?"

Ivan eyed him with a tight-lipped smile. "No, I didn't know until now. You are very quick to confess your crimes. Could it be you were waiting for me?" He stared right at Alfred with that never blinking way he had. Ivan's eyes ate at him with their deepness. "Anyway, I did say I'd buy you lunch," Ivan added as he pushed past to poke at the chip wrappers beside the bed.

Heat spread across Alfred's face. "That's…I don't get it. Why?" None of this made sense anymore. "Why are you sometimes nice to me?" Rather than angry, this time Alfred's voice came out meek, confused. The smile fell off of Ivan's face. He regarded Alfred with seriousness for almost a full minute, neither of them speaking. Finally, Ivan looked away.

"I wonder, since you don't get it. I really wonder…" Alfred's brow furrowed. What did he mean by that? Clenching his fists, he closed the distance between them again. With a yank on his shoulder, Alfred forced the other boy look at him.

"W-why don't you just say it out clear already?! I'm stupid! I know that already so don't expect me to get the secret code by myself!"

Ivan's eyes went wide. A second later, they narrowed. "You really shouldn't say things like that. I don't know what I might do." He didn't give Alfred a chance to take anything back though. A quick step forward and Ivan towered over him, very much in his personal space. The expression on his face looked nothing like the normal Ivan. Instead of cold and hard eyes, or sometimes sad ones, these eyes looked untamed. "Now, I wonder where you hid that ID. Since it's you, I'm sure you just put it in your pocket, yes? Being stupid and all." Alfred took a step back. Ivan's hand shot out to grab his arm.

"Wait…are you angry?" Alfred stammered. Shit, shit, shit. Ivan crowded him against a wall and Alfred squeezed his eyes shut. The hand reaching for him slipped inside his jacket though. Alfred squinted eyes open to see Ivan searching the pockets there. His large hands ghosted over his chest as he moved to the other side. Alfred just gaped. Before he could say anything, one of Ivan's hands slipped lower, then inside his front jean's pocket. "The hell? I didn't hide the ID there!" He shoved Ivan's hand away, but his other one just slipped into the left-side pocket.

Ivan flashed a smile. "Hm. But I don't trust you so I'll search anyway." His eyes kept boring into Alfred, intense and hungry like a fire burned in them. Once he finished with the pockets, Alfred expected him to move away, but Ivan just shifted even closer. He outright smirked and the expression made Alfred shiver. "Oh dear, you may not be as obvious as I thought. Shall I search even harder?" With that, his hand slid up the zipper of his jeans to the waistband.

What?! "Yah! Don't put your hand there!" Alfred yelped. Ivan shifted and he almost let out a sigh of relief, but he didn't have long to relax. Ivan's hand slipped around to squeeze his butt instead, the smirk on his face widening impossibly more.

"How about here, then?"

Alfred's eyes bugged out and he barely managed to speak past his awkward gaping. His legs began to shake as Ivan kneaded the ample flesh of one of Alfred's butt cheeks.

"No way, dude! That's even worse!" Alfred horrified himself as his voice jumped an octave higher than usual. He reached behind to swat Ivan's hand away, but the action only seemed to encourage him. "Why are you touching that?" It's not like he hid Ivan's ID card in there. The older boy leaned in closer so that their chests touched and his breath ghosted against Alfred's ear. For such a cold person, Ivan felt awful warm, or rather hot now. Ivan pressed one finger against his butt crack. Alfred's jeans did nothing to lessen the jolt that raced all the way through him. He felt too surprised to even pull away from the larger boy. When he finally did find his words, he said the first un-eloquent thing that came to mind.

"Don't tell me you're gay?!"

Ivan's lips twisted up in a wry smile. He shifted back and stopped his assault, hands dropping to his side. For a second, a hint of sadness darkened his purple eyes, but Ivan grinned before Alfred could even open his mouth to comment. With one smooth action, Ivan gathered his wrists and tilted them back until Alfred bumped into the wall. Their faces hovered a few inches apart, Ivan still grinning with his purple eyes too bright. "And what if I was? Would you tell all your friends so they could shun me, or would you just laugh in my face?" He paused as his voice dropped lower. "Homophobe." The last word fell without a hint of the harsh taunting Ivan's used before. No, the word held only a finality and the sort of heaviness that could just as easily been delivered by an anvil falling.

Alfred stared wide eyed at him. Did the other boy really think that about him? Ivan never gave him a chance. Eyes hardening, Alfred pulled his wrists away and shoved Ivan in the chest. "What the hell dude? If you liked me, then you should have just asked! I might have said yes. Now you're too much of a creeper so get out of my room!" he snapped, continuously pushing until he had the surprised Ivan outside. The taller boy opened his mouth to speak, but Alfred slammed the door closed in his face.

After he calmed his heart for a few seconds, Alfred started to feel a bit like a douche. But honestly, did Ivan think so poorly of him? Did Alfred give him any hint that he was a homophobe? Sure he didn't consider himself gay, but if the right guy came along, why not? People should feel free to experiment and shit like that and he would never hate someone over their orientation. He was cool like that, or at least he always thought so. Ivan was just too stupid in the head to realize that. But really, he never saw this coming. It left him shaking and his heart jumping a little too quick. He picked up a book to do something, anything. Before he could calm himself, a knock sounded at the door.

"Alfred?" Ivan's voice sounded very un-Ivan like—meek almost and again with that sadness. Alfred's fingers trembled on his book that he hadn't read a single sentence of.

"What is it?!" he snapped much harsher than he intended. Why couldn't Ivan just go away so he would stop freaking out and feeling guilty and all sorts of other things he didn't want to feel at all. The soft thud signaled Ivan leaning against the door. Alfred stood and walked over to it, hesitating within arms reach.

"You still have my ID. I can't leave." The sadness had been shoved aside, replaced by a bluntness that better suited Ivan. Still, Alfred couldn't help but miss the side of Ivan he just saw. He met the real Ivan just now, something surely so few got to see. And all Alfred wanted to do was smack himself in the face. He almost resisted, but a second later, he slapped his palm to his forehead.

"Ah shit! I totally forgot about that! I put it in my underwear drawer because I thought you'd never look there. Ah well...now I think you would..." Alfred muttered as he flung the door open with so much energy it banged against the wall. Ivan just managed to catch himself before staring at Alfred from the doorway. When he didn't immediately enter the room, Alfred turned back and grabbed his arm to pull the other boy inside. Without Alfred noticing, Ivan kicked the door closed after him before he was dragged to one of the dorm-issue set of drawers. Alfred let go of Ivan's arm so he could yank open a drawer. He mumbled under his breath as he rummaged around, seeming to forget he wasn't alone. Finally Alfred came up with the ID card and whipped the thing into the air, knocking a few pairs of boxers to the floor in the same action. Ivan twitched ever so slightly.

"Found it!...eh? Why are you just staring?" Alfred said. He waved the ID, but Ivan's eyes didn't follow it at all. Wasn't that why he came back? Ivan slammed a hand into the drawer, pushing it closed and trapping Alfred at the same time. "E-eh?! Are we back to this?!"

"Alfred..." Ivan started in a soft voice. He leaned closer until his breath fogged up Alfred's glasses. The smaller boy trembled slightly, part in fear, part in anger. Suddenly Ivan's very serious face got even closer. "Will you go out with me?" Alfred's body went rigid with shock. Ivan noticed it and pulled back with a nervous expression. "I mean, you said if I asked, you might say yes."

After a second, Alfred's gaze softened. Ivan getting all close and creeper like, then dropping a bomb like that seriously surprised him, but Alfred did somewhat invite him. And anyway, he looked cute trying to win Alfred's heart. Ivan wasn't such a bad guy when he wasn't being a douche or a creep. Maybe he wouldn't be the worst lover. The places he touched made him warm even though that seriously pissed him off. "Um well...I guess I could give you a chance. Sure Ivan, I'll go out with you as long as you stop acting like a creeper…wait!"

Alfred didn't have a chance to finish properly before Ivan grabbed him around the waist and yanked the smaller boy toward him. Alfred fell flush against Ivan's chest with a loud stutter and a blush. For a second, he tried to push back, but then stopped himself. Ah well, he did say things like this were okay. He looked up at Ivan and they locked eyes. Alfred blinked and then Ivan's lips were on his, pressing insistently until Alfred gasped and Ivan slipped his tongue inside. So warm…

They moved at Ivan's lead, Alfred too lost to notice—until his back hit the bed. Ivan ended the kiss and Alfred stared up at him, blinking confused eyes. "Uh, what?" He glanced around. Those were his bed sheets and his history textbook under the second pillow. He did wonder where it got off to. "What are we doing on the bed?"

"I-I'm sorry, but I just want you very badly!" Ivan exclaimed, his entire face flushed red. Alfred didn't understand until Ivan glanced down at himself, then back at Alfred. Every part of him trembled with anxious excitement. Alfred looked over Ivan and finally understood the quickness of his breath and the obvious bulge in the boy's pants. Alfred's eyes jumped wide.

"Woah hey now! You want to do that?!" Okay, time out. He just said yes to trying a relationship, but wasn't it a bit early to be having sex? He shoved both hands into Ivan's chest, hard enough to keep him back without knocking him away entirely. "Shouldn't there be some kind of relationship foreplay first? Like take me out for coffee, a dinner date, tell me I'm beautiful and I dunno, ask me if I want to sleep with you?!" He gasped for breath after his little tirade. "I've never tried it with a dude before. I don't even fucking know if I can!"

Ivan smiled and leaned in again. "You are very beautiful, yes." He said like that made everything better. Alfred out right screamed in his head. Ivan pulled his hands away and pressed kisses to his knuckles, silencing Alfred's complaints. "I can do foreplay." Then Ivan took one of the digits into his mouth and wrapped his tongue around it in slow swirls. Alfred burned bright red, stuttering when words failed him. Oh fuck this shit. He did not mean foreplay like that but he couldn't even beat logic into this kid. Alfred just gave up and gasped when Ivan nipped at the webbing between his fingers. "So it's okay?"

Alfred muttered nonsense as he pressed an arm over his face, but even that didn't hide his blush that went all the way to his ears. The beat of his heart quickened and Ivan pressed an ear over it to listen with awe. As close together as this, they could feel each others sweaty heat as well as their frantic heartbeats. "G-go fuck yourself…" Ivan lifted his head to stare at Alfred in confusion.

"That doesn't sound very fun. I'm much rather fuck you."

"Oh my god, you're such an idiot!" Alfred exclaimed. He grabbed Ivan by the hair and pulled him in for a sloppy kiss. They tangled tongues with more desperation than talent before pulling away. Alfred's glasses lay crooked on his nose and Ivan's violet eyes looked wider than ever. "That meant yes!" When Ivan smiled again, it took on a softer, less false note of happiness. He lifted away Alfred's glasses then pressed their lips together in a quick kiss. A second later he collapsed on top of Alfred with his arms wrapped tight around him. They could still feel each other's frantic heartbeats.

"Thank you," Ivan whispered.

Alfred stared at him as his heart skipped a beat. Ivan nearly trembled against him despite being such a massive person. Where did his cold eyes go? The ones Alfred saw now were squeezed shut and his light sandy hair splayed across Alfred's chest, looking soft in a way he never expected. Alfred tangled a hand in it, marveling at the thickness. Like this, Ivan looked strangely cute and that was the last thing he ever expected to think. The tender moment broke a second later. Ivan pulled back and slammed Alfred to the bed again, holding down each of his hands. "It's your fault for tempting me!" Alfred stared up at him, surprised, but not resistant. Even when Ivan switched his grip to one hand, Alfred just shifted nervously with a few stutters. In one smooth gesture, Ivan yanked his shirt up to his armpits. Alfred's flush deepened to an even darker red.

"…But I didn't do anything," Alfred mumbled. A numbness buzzed through him as Ivan's large hands trailed down his chest. They paused and jumped along his skin as if he couldn't decide whether to savor or devour.

Ivan chose the second. He ripped away Alfred's shirt in one gesture. "Yes you did! You've been tempting me since the day you walked into class! Do you…d-do you have any idea what your smile does to me?!" he exclaimed. His face was red again and his eyes sharp. Without the coldness, he looked so different—big, strong, selfish, angry, and full of passion. This was the face hiding beneath the familiar smile. So dazzling. Alfred found himself unable to look away. They were doing it. They were really doing it. "Alfred, I love you," Ivan whispered before he flipped Alfred so he fell face first into a pillow. "Alfred!" Ivan's hands grabbed at his waistband. Fingers fumbled, Alfred twisted, and Ivan yanked his pants and boxers down to his knees. Alfred squeaked as the cold air hit his flesh. Even colder hands ran along his back, leaving him jumping. Then, something wet and warm brushed against his ass check.

"Ah…wait. What…?" Alfred couldn't keep up with the pace. He clutched his pillow tighter as he tried to drag in air. What was happening? He felt dizzy and confused. He didn't like not being able to see Ivan either. How could he know what was happening like this? A mix of fear and an excitement he tried to fight back rose inside. He could face down an army of chihuahuas or even the school principal better than this, so why did he have to feel tiny and embarrassed now? Alfred found himself biting hard into his arm to keep back the nerves. Ivan parted his butt cheeks and licked against his hole like it wasn't the grossest thing in the world. Alfred's eyes went wide as his trance of confusion broke. Panic rushed through him. Where did foreplay go? Ivan said he would do foreplay! Ivan? "Stop it!" He spun around, kicking the other boy in the gut. Alfred pulled his legs toward himself again. His lungs struggled to bring in air as his nerves and emotions continued to frazzle. "I really don't like this!"

Ivan reeled. Alfred hit him? He very nearly grabbed the boy by the throat in retaliation but he saw the look aimed at him. It chilled his temper in a flash. Alfred stared back with wide, trembling eyes. He shook and his jaw clenched so hard he looked like he might growl. The nails that clutched into his arms left deep red marks. And those eyes, they gazed with so much fear and anger that it knocked Ivan back. He settled onto his haunches and twisted both hands in his scarf like he always did when feeling out of place, not that he showed this side to anyone but Alfred. Have I screwed up again? Tears burned behind Alfred's eyes and Ivan wilted. I've even made him cry. "D-do you really not like me after all?"

Alfred cursed in his head. Now he felt guilty and he hated being responsible for other people's misery even if they deserved it. At this point though, he felt guilty just because it was Ivan looking at him like that. Since when did I feel like this? Alfred dropped his head back onto the pillow and groaned. Probably since a long time before now. He just never noticed. "It's not like that," Alfred pleaded as he rubbed away the tears trying to form in his eyes. He grabbed Ivan's hand as much to keep him there as his own lifeline in this drowning sea of emotions. "It scares me like this. I want to see your face."

In an instant, relief brightened Ivan's eyes again. He crawled forward and pressed kisses all over Alfred's face, even though the younger boy tried to turn away from each and every one of them. "Are you listening to me?! Hey!" Alfred bit back a groan when Ivan bit his earlobe. Ivan finally pulled back with his expression painted even more in relief.

"I understand. You're a virgin aren't you?"

Alfred burned bright red. "W-what?!" he squeaked loud enough that Ivan winced. The whole hall probably heard his excessive voice. "That's not…I mean…o-of course I am, idiot!" The tears finally burst out and he ground his hands into his eyes. This was the worst. He was turning into a fucking girl. "How old do you think I am?" What was wrong with a eighteen year old virgin? The way he kept acting though, Ivan must think he looked pathetic.

Ivan pulled his hands away and Alfred couldn't avoid the older boy's bubbly smile. It shocked his fears away. "Ah wonderful! You're my…f-first too. I'm so happy," he added with a kiss to Alfred's palm. The tickling, warm sensation relaxed Alfred's fists and loosened his muscles. He sniffled one more before Ivan kissed him on the lips. The shudder of pleasure he let out lifted Ivan's confidence just a little bit more. A second later, the younger boy turned his head to the side, trying his hardest to roll his eyes.

"Great," Alfred muttered. "That means neither of us know what we're doing." He couldn't help but feel relieved though. Ivan acted scary because he also had no idea how this worked.

"I saw this in a video, so don't worry," Ivan grinned back. Because that was so much better. Alfred didn't have time to complain before Ivan clapped a hand over his mouth. He tutted and shook his head. "Why must you talk so much?" Alfred's eyes narrowed with anger, not that it affected the other boy at all. Ivan kept his hand there for a few more seconds before pulling it away. The message across, Alfred just glared at him with his tear-grimey cheeks ruining the effect. Ivan licked his own fingers, staring at Alfred the entire time. When he had them slick, he pressed Alfred's legs wide and shoved his fingers inside. Alfred let out a loud cry which Ivan swallowed up with a kiss. His entire body trembled, but Ivan just continued to work his fingers inside, holding Alfred still with his other hand. "Is it good?"

"I don't know!" Alfred yelped as he pulled away from the kiss. He felt…strange. He hurt a little, but also felt electrified to a point he couldn't describe. Did this feeling even count as good or bad. It just felt. A lot.

Ivan paused, looking down at Alfred with anxiety again. "It doesn't hurt?

"…No." Alfred took a deep breath and bit his lip. After a few more seconds, he reached down to grab Ivan's wrist, holding on insistently. "Just hurry up with this already. I can't take much more!" Ivan's eyes went wide in response and he nodded with so much enthusiasm that his hair bounced.

"Got it!" he exclaimed before pulling his fingers out. Alfred tensed as Ivan spread his legs and leaned over him. "Ready?" After grabbing hold of his hand, Alfred nodded back. Then, before he could back out or tense further, Ivan pushed himself inside. Alfred screamed. He screamed like he couldn't get his voice out loud enough. Ivan paused even though he shook all over, as if waiting took too much energy. Nails clawed down his chest as the boy under him writhed. "S-should I stop?" he asked even though he clearly didn't want to.

Alfred managed to grab hold of his arms and held on to anchor himself. Eyes squeezed shut, he let out a cry. "No! Hurry!" He choked back the beginnings of a sob. He could feel Ivan lodged inside him with an intensity that made him feel full with it. It wasn't enough. "I need to feel you more!" So full that everything inside him would belong to the other boy. Without waiting for Ivan to move, Alfred wrapped his arms around the boy's back and buried his face against his shoulder.

Ivan started to rock his hips as if he shared Alfred's thoughts that they couldn't get close enough. With their bodies pressed together like this and their breath mingling, everything felt warm. Everywhere, just desperate touches and warmth. "Alfred!" Ivan moaned. "I love you, Alfred!"

He gasped and hung on tighter. When Ivan changed his angle, Alfred couldn't keep back his noises and words came tumbling out with them. "Me too! Ah! I must…love…" But at that point, even he couldn't manage more words. With all this warmth and feeling though, the feelings continued to come unbidden to his mind. Love. He had to or why let Ivan do this? Why else let half of anything happen. Oh god, they were in love and he didn't even care. He threw back his head and screamed the other boy's name. "Ivan!"

They moved together with desperation. Hips thrust to the same beat as they moaned. All of a sudden, Alfred bit down on Ivan's shoulder as he came. Ivan followed with Alfred squeezing him everywhere. Together they collapsed onto the bed. Ivan immediately pulled him into a captive embrace and they lay there, catching their breath. For minutes, neither moved, then Ivan lifted one of Alfred's hands to kiss his knuckles.

Alfred turned away with his cheeks brightening. "…We should get dressed. Or at least you should. At some point Mattie is going to walk in, after all. I don't feel like sharing my post coital bliss with him." Ivan's mouth tilted down in a slight frown when Alfred pushed him away, but he nodded and slipped off the bed. As he collected their discarded clothing, Alfred rolled himself up in the blanket, obviously not ready to follow his own advice. It wasn't like Matthew never him naked before and it was a bit like looking at a mirror. Perhaps before, Alfred didn't have cum dripping down his legs, but he didn't want to admit he couldn't move enough to put his pants on.

"We can always move to my room. My roommate dropped out after a week," Ivan offered as he dropped Alfred's clothes next to him. He smiled, not that Alfred saw from where he sunk under the cover's warmth. "I don't want to leave now that I finally have you."

Alfred lifted his head out from the blanket cover, leveling a sulky glare at Ivan. "I don't get it. If you've liked me all this time, why did you act like a douche so much? I totally thought you hated me!"

Ivan dropped a knee onto the bed, midway through getting dressed. They met warm eyes for a second, before Ivan poked Alfred right in the forehead. "Because your glaring face is really cute!" he exclaimed with a bright smile. Alfred dropped his head back to the bed, screaming inside. Just what the hell did he get himself into?! But he couldn't even regret saying yes. Ivan already stole his heart away with that infuriating smile and those eyes only for him. Those stupid, beautiful, searing, impossible to escape, cold eyes.

(AN: This story is finally complete! Thank you all for reading. I hope this was worth it for ya'll and maybe one day I can do something more with my poor fanfics, if it's good enough. Well, let me know! :D)