A/N: I wrote this for the Kurtbastian Hiatus Project prompt Dalton AU and shelved it because I didn't initially like it, but I think we need more of Kurt and Sebastian meeting at Dalton and falling for one another. Brief mention of Blaine (Blaine friendly) and of Klaine friendship. Warning for mention of oral sex, anal sex, mention of drug and alcohol use, and language. Dalton AU, secret relationship AU, angst.
The first drops of rain against Kurt's dorm room window echo the soft kisses of good-bye that Sebastian places on Kurt's forehead. They're simple feathery touches so as not to wake him. Maybe that would make them unimportant, if Kurt doesn't even know they're there, but these kisses are important to Sebastian. They're his last chance to kiss Kurt before the school week begins and they go back to being indifferent to one another again – at least in public.
It's Sebastian's rule, so he has no one to blame but himself.
Though in the blurry light of a grey but perfect morning, he can't remember why he came up with that rule. Did he think his rep as a free agent was so important that he had to protect it? Or was it because – at the time – he didn't want to be known as associating with Kurt Hummel?
Kurt had agreed to the rule so Sebastian didn't think it was that awful, but looking at Kurt's face, solemn in sleep, a small smile on his lips that had started when Sebastian put his arms around him at bed time and still hadn't stopped – wouldn't stop until Kurt woke and found Sebastian gone – he realizes, yes, it is an awful rule.
They started out as enemies, trading verbal barbs, arguing and competing over everything and anything – French grades, solos in The Warblers, Kurt's fashion choices, Sebastian's hair…
A game of Seven Minutes in Heaven during a Warblers-hosted Christmas party changed everything.
It didn't make them like one another, but it made them crave each other. They started to find excuses to be alone between classes, making out in janitor's closets and empty classrooms, sneaking off to their bedrooms when they knew their roommates would be elsewhere. These romps were exciting, passionate, and always accompanied by a healthy dose of insults to keep stronger feelings at bay.
"I don't know why I keep doing this with you, meerkat," Kurt moaned as he fumbled with Sebastian's belt buckle.
"Because face it, Hummel," Sebastian said with his hand already down the front of Kurt's pants, stroking his cock slowly, "you love my dick down your throat."
"In your dreams, Smythe," Kurt laughed cruelly, but with an edge that exposed how close to cumming Sebastian had already taken him.
"Does this feel like a dream to you?" Sebastian asked with a sly smirk when he felt Kurt buck up into his fist.
"Yeah," Kurt groaned, "it's like a nightmare, but at least you manscape…"
They spent weeks in the heavy petting and making out stage, moving quickly to the hand job and blowjob stage, until Sebastian had enough. He thought about Kurt constantly, dreamt about him. He spent his spare time masturbating while imagining what Kurt looked like beneath his uniform, what he would sound like lying beneath him, taking him from behind, sweat rolling down his pale skin, his lithe body bending for him…only for him…
Getting Kurt to agree to a one-night stand turned out to be easier than Sebastian thought it would.
Sebastian showed up at Kurt's room one Saturday night when he knew Kurt's roommate Blaine would be away visiting his folks, his mind filled with arguments and a list of convincing reasons. He said, "Kurt, I don't know how to tell you this…"
Kurt cut in and said, "Me, too," with that vivacious head nod that Kurt used whenever he was excited about something. Sebastian was happy to see that Kurt was excited about this, excited about him.
Hooking up was supposed to get Kurt out of Sebastian's system. It was supposed to be a one-time thing that would put an end to all this.
It wasn't supposed to change Sebastian. It wasn't supposed to make Sebastian want Kurt more.
Especially when Sebastian found out that before him, Kurt had been a virgin.
"Why would you do that, Kurt?" Sebastian asked. "Why would you just throw it away like that?"
"Throw what away?" Kurt returned with a sardonic chuckle. "You act like my virginity was a physical thing…with feelings…like a puppy."
Sebastian turned away from him with a huff, red-faced. He felt ashamed.
At the very least, he wished Kurt had told him beforehand. He could have done things differently…better. He wouldn't have rushed. He wouldn't have been so rough.
He didn't admit to any of that, though. He had to remember that this wasn't supposed to mean anything.
"Don't be ridiculous," Sebastian said.
"I'm not being ridiculous," Kurt responded. "I don't think of it that way. I wanted to have sex with you, and I did. If you want to see it as you "taking my virginity"…" he emphasized using his fingers to make air quotes, "then so be it." Kurt walked around Sebastian and confronted him, not letting him hide with his back turned. "But that means you have it now. It's your responsibility." Kurt locked his eyes on Sebastian's glare – pleading eyes, Sebastian realized in retrospect – and said, "so, what are you going to do with it then, Smythe?"
Sebastian didn't want that responsibility, and in a way, he resented Kurt for putting that on him. But if Kurt was going to treat it as unimportant, then Sebastian was going to take a page from his book and make it unimportant, too. The following weekend, to prove that it wasn't important, he went to a frat party in Columbus, intent on spending the weekend getting drunk, stoned, and fucked within an inch of his life.
He saw Kurt only once before he left, confused by his distance, by his icy veneer, vaguely recognizing it as a mask that he wore to conceal a befuddled and bruised heart
"So, where are you heading off to?" Kurt asked, cutting Sebastian off before he could head out the doors.
"Oh," Sebastian stammered, stopping short. "I thought I told you."
Kurt smiled weakly and shook his head.
"Uh, no…you didn't," he said, keeping his comment lighthearted to cover his hurt.
"I'm going to a frat party in Columbus," Sebastian said plainly, telling himself it didn't matter. He could do what he pleased. Kurt knew that. He had no reason or right to be upset.
"A…a frat party…in Columbus?" Kurt asked, spacing the words out as if they were individual parts of a puzzle he was having trouble piecing together.
"Yeah. I'm going to be there all weekend. I would have invited you along, but I know it's not your scene."
"What?" Kurt blinked a few times, repeating the words in his head. "Yeah, no, you're right. It's not my scene."
They stood together in silence while Kurt, dressed in jeans and an off-the-shoulder black sweater (a sweater Sebastian mentioned once that he adored on Kurt), stared at the overnight bag Sebastian had slung over his shoulder, and Sebastian, uncomfortable at the blank look in Kurt's eyes, kept glancing toward the door.
"Well, is Blaine here?" Sebastian suggested in his eagerness to leave. "Maybe you guys can hang and watch Moulin Rouge…give each other manicures or whatever. You guys haven't done that in a while."
"He spends every weekend with his folks now," Kurt replied dryly. "You know that. I told you that."
"Did you?" Sebastian asked, anxiously shifting his weight on his feet. "I don't…I don't remember."
"Well, you're only in my room every fucking weekend, you think you would have figured it out," Kurt snapped, his voice inching up higher.
"Why are you getting so frigid bitch on me all of a sudden? " Sebastian snapped back. "I've been waiting a month to go to this party."
"A month?" Kurt asked, surprised. "You mean, the whole month that you've been doing me, you've been looking forward to going to a frat party?"
"Uh…yeah…and…"
"I remember you talking to Jeff and Nick about the last one."
"So?" Sebastian shrugged. "What's that supposed to mean?"
"That means you're going to be hooking up with some guy, right?" Kurt crossed his arms over his chest, a defiant pose Sebastian had become familiar with, but Sebastian should have known better.
He should have known Kurt was using it to protect himself.
"And so what if I am, Kurt?" Sebastian asked, readjusting the bag on his shoulder, not because it had slipped, but to make it obvious that he was going whether Kurt liked it or not. "You're not my mom and you're not my boyfriend, so back off!"
Kurt's mouth dropped open, as if he had been slapped, but he quickly set his lips in a tight, thin line and nodded.
"You're right," he said, his voice hard. "I'm not your boyfriend. Go. Have a nice time catching an STD."
Kurt spun on his heel and stormed off to his room, and Sebastian groaned after him.
Leave it to Princess Hummel to suck the fun out of everything.
Well, Sebastian wasn't going to let him. This party was going to be wicked, and Sebastian intended to enjoy every damn sordid minute of it.
The party should have been fun. He'd been there before. There was even a college guy he met last time that he was hoping to see. But the whole drive down, he felt a pang in his chest. It was small, to the left of his sternum, and it pinched like a muscle cramp. He didn't let it bother him. It was probably from overexerting himself in lacrosse practice. He told himself that if he ignored it, it would go away.
But it didn't.
He decided reluctantly that it could maybe possibly be a spot of guilt for the way he left things with Kurt, and when he got to the house he was staying at, he sent Kurt a text.
To Kurt:
Just wondering how you're doing. I'll see you on Monday.
Sebastian waited for fifteen minutes, sitting in his car with his phone in his hand, for Kurt to send a text back.
Fifteen minutes would have been enough. Kurt always had his phone on him.
Sebastian didn't get a reply.
A few hours in, he found the college guy (Micah might have been his name, Sebastian couldn't remember), and discovered that college guy had been looking forward to seeing him again, too.
Sebastian got so far as his hand down the guy's pants. The guy moaned in his ear, his lips on Sebastian's neck, his breath on Sebastian's skin, but Sebastian couldn't do it.
He couldn't fuck this guy.
Because this guy, as handsome and as hot as he was, as much as he shamelessly begged Sebastian to have sex with him, wasn't Kurt.
The voice moaning his name wasn't Kurt's.
The breath on his neck, smelling of brown weed and rancid beer, wasn't Kurt's, which always smelled like sweet peppermint and mocha.
The skin beneath his hand wasn't Kurt's - wasn't insanely soft, wasn't impossibly smooth, didn't have Kurt's warmth.
When Sebastian kissed this guy – only once – he didn't have Kurt's taste.
Five hours later, Sebastian was back in Kurt's bed, whispering apologies into his skin as he entered Kurt slowly.
"I'm sorry, Kurt…I'm so, so sorry…forgive me for being an ass…for being so stupid…"
They spent every weekend together without fail when Blaine went home to visit his parents, but the rule still remained.
They didn't act like a couple in public. No one was allowed to know.
Because Sebastian didn't think he was ready.
Because Sebastian was still being stupid.
But Sebastian is done being stupid. The smartest thing he ever did at Dalton was getting involved with Kurt. Now, he wants everyone to know.
So he stops kissing Kurt good-bye, and as the rain falls harder, he climbs back into the bed.
Kurt's alarm goes off at ten o'clock (the time he lets himself sleep in till on Sundays) and he turns with eyes closed to reach out and shut it off…only this time, there's something in his way.
"Hmmm," Kurt mutters, recovering from sleep enough to let his eyes drift open. Instead of his clock, he sees Sebastian, eyes open, staring back at him, wide awake like he's been lying there watching Kurt sleep for hours. Kurt smiles seeing him there, but then he remembers what day it is, and he frowns. "Aren't you supposed to be gone by now?"
It sounds bitter, but Kurt is done covering up how bitter he feels about this.
Sebastian ignores him and places a kiss on the seam of his lips to quiet him. Kurt knows this ploy. It's the way Sebastian avoids discussing important topics like their relationship, or whatever this is between them.
Kurt puts a hand to Sebastian's chest in an attempt to stop him, but it's not all that effective.
"Sebastian…" Kurt mutters against his lips.
"Not this time, babe," Sebastian says, putting his arms around Kurt, pulling him in closer, winding a possessive leg between his.
"Wha-"
Sebastian doesn't stop kissing, even when Kurt's eyes snap open and he turns his mouth to the side to get his question out. "Do you mean…"
"That's right," Sebastian says, smirking as he starts kissing down his reluctant bedmate's neck. "So why don't you shut up and kiss me some more? Then when Blainey gets his ass back from his folks, we'll let him find us and the cat will be out of the bag."