Life of Legolas

Hello! I am Sixty-four K. Although I have been a fan of Tolkien for nigh on ten years, I am new to Tolkien fan fiction. Therefore, I expect you to be nice to me. This story is a part of the "Life of" 'series', created by Lily Lindsey-Aubrey, author of the splendid Life of Lindir. Thank you very much, Lily, for letting me use your idea! Also, thank you to Rousdower, who greatly influenced my view of the Elvenking of Mirkwood(in a good way!) through her Life of Thranduil and A Second Chance.

I know that, although there are many Legolas fans out there, there are nearly as many Legolas haters. One argument of theirs, which I completely understand, is that he is portrayed by many fan fiction writers as being very near perfect, which can be quite irritating. I acknowledge the truth of this; however, I want to prove that Legolas is not always perfect, not even in Tolkien's Lord of the Rings. Even when he is, he is usually perfect in a humorous fact, he(especially when teamed up with Gimli) is often used as comic relief( just read the Lothlorien chapter!). I hope that I convert some haters to fans; but even if I don't, I hope that I can make current fans laugh. Please let me know your thoughts and ideas, and I will endeavor to reply to you. Thanks for reading!

-Sixty-four K

Chapter One: The Perfect Plan

Legolas Greenleaf's life was a life full of pain, misery and woe. At the moment, however, he was enjoying himself immensely. He was in his tree-house, and it is almost impossible to have a disagreeable time in a tree-house, especially if the aforementioned tree-house is a veritable treasure trove. Legolas' certainly was. He had filled it with all manner of treasures: a blood-stained bandage, once used to bind a wound of Aragorn's(a surprisingly valuable item), one of the Lord of the Eagles's feathers(it was a miracle that Legolas was alive after that stunt), and the Arkenstone(Dain had never missed it), just to name a few.

Legolas was, as mentioned before, enjoying himself immensely. He was wearing one of his favourite curios, a crown that his father had tired of, upon his head, and was pretending to be the king of Mirkwood. Of course, he would never have dared to do so in the presence of the true Elvenking, the mighty Thranduil; he would face punishment dreadful beyond description if he did. Legolas, however, had no fear of encountering his father outside of the palace of Mirkwood. The Elvenking was incredibly proud of his position, and therefore exercised it constantly, wearing a jewelled crown upon his brow and majestically grasping his sceptre night and day. He sat upon his throne as often as possible(its great height allowed him to stare regally down at the population with an even greater intensity), and he left the palace upon only the greatest emergency.

Legolas, therefore, had no fear of encountering his father's wrath today. Rather, he intended on staying in his tree-house for a good long while- as long as it took, in fact. You see, Legolas had decided upon a new fact of life: his father did not appreciate him. The Elvenking, Legolas had decided long ago, delighted in ordering him about, and cared for him, not as a son, but as a slave. Never a pleasant word passed from his lips, but ever a sharpish, bossy one. Legolas therefore, had taken it upon himself to teach the Elvenking a lesson. He would live up in his tree-house until his father came to his senses, and begged for forgiveness. Even then, Legolas would make sure that his father was really and truly sorry. Thranduil would need to plead for nigh on an hour before Legolas, the abused, would mercifully accept his father's apology and allow him to sob on his shoulder.

It was a beautiful plan, and nearly foolproof. Legolas, despite his slim physique and delicate health, was a very hardy elf. He could last for a very long up here, in his tree-house. He had everything he needed: lembas, athelas(just in case), Dorwinion. He could likely last a year. Of course, he didn't expect his dear adar to take a year. He would probably come the very next day, crying and pleading for forgiveness. Legolas rubbed his lovely, pale, slender hands together, cackling with glee. He could hardly wait.

-Legolas quote of the day: "Well, I am going back into the open air, to see what the wind and sky are doing." (The Two Towers(book), Chapter Nine: Flotsam and Jetsam)