Summary:Sometimes the line between waking and dreaming seems all too thin.

Author's Note:Natsu-centric. Contains Nalu, Jerza, Gajevy, and some Gruvia. Beta read by the amazing Snogfairy.

His eyes squeezed shut, the very idea bucking around in his brain. Choose his future? That sounded insane! "Are you serious?"

"I'm afraid so," the sky dragon said gently. "Your very being is fragmented between two possible timelines right now."

Choose between Igneel and Lucy? Make this choice for everyone?! He didn't want either of these futures. "This… That's just nuts! You know that right? I can't do this!"

There was no answer other than a sharp, feminine intake of breath, and his eyes popped open. Lucy's hand stopped just short of touching him, her face so full of worry it plucked at something in his chest.

Porlyusica raised a thin eyebrow and offered the orb to him. Her hair had streaks of white trailing through it, and her hands looked even more weathered. It didn't seem like her attitude had improved with time, though. "I don't make the rules, and you're the one foolish enough to get struck with this thing."

Natsu gawked at it even as he took the sphere from her. It was the same object that Grandeeney had been… Why was he surprised again? "What happens if I don't choose? Is there any reason I can't -"

"Most likely you'll die," Porlyusica said bluntly, arms crossing over her chest. "Thanks to the sphere's aberrant effects on you, it's tainting the magical energy in your body and building exponentially each time you experience a shift in your timeline. Do you mean you haven't felt anything wrong all this time?"

Everything felt wrong, but he hadn't put it all together. The pains in his body, the sense of urgent unease… "So… how do I do this?" His stomach churned, and he swallowed the bitter saliva that filtered into his mouth.

"From what I can tell, you just use that thing on yourself again, and it should release the energy building up inside you." The older woman shrugged. "I have no idea what else it'll do so don't be an idiot."

Lucy offered her a warm smile and a deliberate nod. "Thank you for all your help. I don't think we could've ever -"

"Now get out of my house!" the healer snapped, making the two flinch and scramble for the door. The heavy wood banged shut behind them as they ran out into the cold.

They stood there panting, creating miniature clouds. "So what do we…" Lucy broke off, turning to watch him. Her lips, slick with balm to prevent chapping from the wind, pursed before she spoke again. "What do you want to do?"

He looked down at the sphere. It felt chilly, like it was sucking the heat out of his skin, and had an oily gleam to its surface. When he rolled it in his hand, the thin sunlight sent scattered, muddied colors glancing across it, but it had none of the charm of a rainbow. Something about this thing just felt wrong. The same kind of wrong that had been eating at his insides since this all began.

This thing didn't belong here, and frankly, he wanted to destroy it.

"I dunno," he finally answered, "but I think I need to do it soon. The skipping around is starting to happen faster, and I don't feel so good. C'mon." Natsu set off into the snow blanketed forest, face grim and limbs heavy.

"I can't believe it's Christmas Eve already," Lucy murmured after they'd trudged for some minutes. She had her gloved hands stuffed into the deep pockets of her jacket, and her cheeks were rosy from the cold.

The statement caught him off guard. Had that much time really passed? He'd lost days already. Or maybe he should be counting in years by now. "I was gonna get you a present," he said lamely.

Booming laughter jolted him, and Igneel replied, "Since when do I have need of gifts? Though some nice meat or something shiny wouldn't be rejected." He winked an enormous yellow eye. The dragon followed on the opposite side from where Lucy had been, powerful limbs churning the snow.

"Yeah, still," Natsu said, trying hard not to be disturbed by the sudden shift, "it's Christmas. I just thought I'd have more time."

"Everyone will understand," Lucy's voice piped up. "We're all more worried about you than anything else right now." He glanced at her and noted the dark circles lining her eyes, and her expression… She looked resigned. "Natsu, what's the other future like?"

His breath hitched just slightly on the way into his lungs, knuckles thumping against his clavicle as he nervously reached for the scarf that wasn't there. "Uh, a lot like this one. Erza's pregnant, Levy and Gajeel are together. The only difference is… you and Igneel."

A smile curled her mouth, soft and secret. "Good. That's good."

"How strange." The dragon slayer's head turned to take in his father's looming presence. "I assume that must have been the pivotal moment that's causing you all this trouble. It's a bit of a relief in some ways…"

Natsu stopped walking and faced the fire dragon. "What do ya mean by that?" He really didn't like how accepting they were being of this. Like they were just giving in. His fingers tightened on the orb, grip sliding a bit on the unnervingly slick surface.

"I just think…" Lucy started, and her arms held her stomach tightly. Her gaze skittered off into the twilight landscape before snapping back to his face. "You should pick Igneel."

"W-what?!" He took a step back when she started to reach for him. "You can't just -"

"You missed her so much," the dragon said on his other side, head drooping low. "It has been hard to watch you suffer like that."

"No!" Natsu backed up further, realizing he could see them both now, though their forms were strangely faint. "It's not… I can't…"

Lucy tugged off her glove and slid the ring from her finger. That bitter-sweet smile on her face was like a punch in his already painful guts. "Here. You should hang on to this. I don't know if… if you can take it to the other future, but…"

"I'm old, my boy," Igneel reasoned. "Much older than you even know. Wouldn't it be better for her to have a chance at a long life? Maybe you could even have a family of your own."

Natsu waved his hands in a dismissive motion, nearly losing his grip on the orb. "Why are you doing this?! Do you really think it's making this easier? Damnit… I don't want to lose either of you. It would've been better if I died -"

"Don't say that!"

"That's nonsense!"

"You have to know that-"

"I would rather die a-"

"wouldn't be better!"

"thousand times than-"

"I love you too much to -"

"let anyone harm-"

"STOP! Just stop talking!" Natsu shouted. He felt a sharp prickle in his arm and lifted Zeref's sphere to eye level. It pulsed with a dingy, malignant light that rolled off the object like a bleak mist and pooled at his feet. "What the hell…?"

Lucy hesitated, eyes wide, before she edged forward until she was standing at arm's length. "Are you okay?"

He nodded jerkily, glancing from the boiling miasma puddling on the ground to her and then his father. "Yeah, I'm fine…"

Igneel's scaly brows rose. "Are you talking to someone else? Ah, this must mean the orb is working."

"Lucy's right here," Natsu confirmed, looking to her when she reacted with surprise. "And Igneel's over there."

The celestial wizard nibbled at her lower lip, concentrating on the swirling energy that was starting to surround him. "I think… it's some kind of gate."

"A gate?" Natsu peered down. He squinted and could barely make out indistinct shapes beyond what looked like a dark tunnel.

"That does make sense," Igneel put in. "As Grandeeney said, you will need to choose which of the timelines you want. You likely should focus on one as you go through this gate."

Natsu swallowed hard, still feeling the lurching, distorting roil in his belly. "I don't… How am I supposed to choose between you?" The voice that cracked on its way out sounded tiny and weak. "I don't think I can do this."

Lucy's soft hand settled on his shoulder. "I'm so sorry you have to do this, Natsu, but it'll be okay."

"Don't be afraid," Igneel murmured and placed his warm palm against the young man's side. "I am - We are here with you no matter what."

He could feel them both, smell their comforting scents, and it finally eased the persistent ache inside just a bit. Natsu sighed and let his eyes slide shut, trying to clear his mind. This here, this moment with these two people, was more than he could have imagined. It was what he wanted.

"I'm sorry," Lucy whispered, voice thick with tears.

"Forgive me," Igneel pleaded, and Natsu felt pressure from both sides as he suddenly tumbled backwards.

He was weightless, dropping through nothing as the winter forest fell away. His eyes snapped open in horror, realizing they had both pushed him through the gate. Flailing uselessly and grabbing for anything that would stop his descent, Natsu found nothing except bone chilling void that slid through his fingers.

Was he going to lose them both now? It wasn't fair! It wasn't fair at all! He'd had them both right there. Rage gave way to despair, a hurting, loathsome thing in his ribcage, and he screamed until his throat was raw.

"Hold him down before he hurts himself!"

"I'm trying!"

"Out 'a the way! I got it."

A crushing weight pinned Natsu's thrashing limbs, and he arched up in an attempt to shake it off.

"Knock it the hell off, Salamander. We're tryin' ta help!"

Gajeel?

"Natsu, stop! Please…"

Happy? Why did he sound so scared?

"It's okay. It's us."

The last voice, more familiar than even his own, made him freeze. "L-lucy?" he croaked, struggling to pry his eyelids open. Everything felt like it was made of lead.

"Yes. It's me. We're all here." He felt her fingers smoothing the hair from his forehead. Her hand was so cool and soft that he instinctively rolled into her touch. "Everything's alright now."

Had it worked? Had he somehow chosen her? "Igneel." His voice was raspy and pained. "Wh-where…?"

A creaking of springs announced Gajeel's weight shifting off him, but no one spoke for a dreadful moment. "We still don't know where he is, Natsu," Happy's strained tone spoke near his ear, and he felt another notch of anxiety drop away. "Did you dream about him?"

Missing, not dead. They just didn't know where he was. The flood of relief was as soothing as Lucy's fingers on his face. "Wha' happened?" His tongue felt too big for his mouth, but he managed to slit his eyes open only to regret it when the light stabbed at his nerves. The groan he let out sounded loud in the quiet infirmary.

"You were struck with a particularly nasty magic item that mage you tried to tackle had." Porlyusica's tone held the same dripping censure and general disappointment in humanity as always. "You should consider yourself lucky you're not dead since this little thing was made by -"

"Zeref," he breathed, alternating between blinking his watery eyes and squeezing them shut against the illumination in the room. It was all a dream? "I saw… I dunno…"

The pink haired healer cocked her head. "I take it you saw whatever nasty hallucinations this thing produces. And you were only in a coma for four days. Like I said: lucky."

"That's lucky?" Natsu squinted, managing to lift his head just slightly off the pillow. There were no white streaks in the older woman's hair, no scars on Gajeel's face, Gray was still a jerk, and Erza's stomach was a normal size. Everything looked… normal.

"Most people who are struck by this device never wake up at all. The ones who do are usually driven out of their minds by what they were shown," she said bluntly and set the orb in a box. The lid snapped shut, and Natsu was more than a little happy to have it out of sight. "Only a handful recovered fully. That scarf of yours probably saved you."

He glanced around eagerly but was forced to lay his head back when he was assaulted by a wave of dizziness. Leaning forward, Lucy pressed a familiar piece of cloth into his hand with a relieved smile. "Wendy fixed it up for you," she explained as he clutched the scarf tight.

"Those other people," Natsu started, "what did they see?"

Porlyusica took a few minutes to look him over, prodding him just hard enough in a few places to elicit a groan from her patient, before answering. "Most of them swore they saw glimpses of different futures, endless possibilities based on their choices. However…" Everyone tensed at her pause. "I think that's total hogwash since not one of their predictions ever came true. Whatever you saw is likely best forgotten."

Was it that easy? Just brush it away like it was nothing? Already the clarity of the images was starting to fade in the face of his overwhelming exhaustion. How could he be so tired if he had been sleeping for four days? Maybe a bit more sleep wouldn't be so bad…

"Wendy, that drug I gave him purged the majority of the tainted magic out of his system, but he'll still need to rest." Porlyusica placed a fistful of vials containing a nasty looking green concoction into the girl's hands. "Just make him drink one of these twice a day for the next few days. It should clear out the rest of the taint. Won't be pleasant, but… I don't care."

"T-thank you!" the sky dragon slayer piped up, fingers gripping the tubes. "I'll do my best!"

Packing up the rest of her equipment, the elder woman just shook her head at the girl's enthusiasm. "Make sure he sleeps the rest of that drug off," she stressed and hefted her leather bag before making for the exit. "Don't bother me unless someone else is dying."

Gray rubbed the back of his neck as the infirmary door closed. "I hate to think what'll happen when Gramps tries to ambush her with a party invitation on the way out."

"I think I should head down to the common room… just in case." Erza paused, armored hand reaching out to lay briefly on Natsu's sheet covered foot as she passed. "It's good to have you back."

Gajeel grunted, eyes skimming over the prone form of his fellow dragon slayer before following the red head towards the exit. "It's too damned quiet without you kicking up a fuss. Ain't natural."

"Yeah, you look really beat for a guy who's been out could for four days," Gray joked, mouth kicking up at the corner as he joined the procession out of the room. "I bet a nap will have him back to being annoying as hell in no time."

"Y'r jerks," Natsu mumbled and flopped a hand on the bed as a farewell.

"Is there anything you need?" Wendy asked, setting Porlyusica's medicine in an uncluttered space. She would have to be vigilant in making sure he took it all. Natsu had a bad habit of deciding he was healthy long before he actually was. "Do you need some water? Are you hungry?"

His head rolled side to side slowly. "Nah… Just really, really sleepy…" Reaching up, he prodded his face, feeling the familiar angles and planes. The scars were gone from his hands and arms too.

Exchanging a look with Lucy, the girls just smiled. "I'm going to head downstairs. Carla was really worried I used too much energy trying to heal you, so I should let her know everything is okay now."

Happy perked up, but hesitated. "You'll be okay, right, Natsu?"

"Yeah," the dragon slayer laughed tiredly. "You go make sure Carla's okay."

The exceed patted him on the head, started to climb down, but then backtracked just long enough to hug his favorite human. "I'm really glad you're okay." Happy lept off the bed while Natsu smiled indulgently. The door clicked shut behind the two as Lucy started to brush her fingers through his hair again.

"What day is it?" Natsu slurred, already starting to fall asleep.

"Christmas Eve," she answered, hands still sweeping rhythmically across his skull. "I'm sorry you had to spend it in here, but I bet you'll be able to join us for at least a bit tomorrow."

"Didn't get you a present…"

She laughed, weight shifting off the edge of his cot. "That's okay. With everything that happened, I didn't get you anything yet either. We can exchange gifts after you're feeling better."

"Don' go," he said, and alarm leaked into his plea even as his words became more garbled by the second.

Hesitating, Lucy looked down into his barely open eyes. They glittered like shards of black glass even in the dim light. "Okay. I'll stay while you rest." The sound of a chair being dragged across the floor towards him was like music right at that moment. Then her fingers were back to smoothing across his scalp, and he let out a whine of appreciation.

"Don' go," he mumbled drowsily. "Just… don't die for me. Either of you."

Her motions stilled, fingertips on his forehead, and he could picture her frown even behind his eyelids. "Natsu… What…?"

"Promise?"

She said nothing for a long time but resumed her soothing gesture. The silence lulled him just as much as her hands, but he fought against the consuming desire to sleep. How could he rest until he knew they would both be safe? He sunk further towards unconsciousness the longer the quiet continued. It was just as he tripped over the very edge of sleep that she finally spoke.

"Tomorrow's Christmas, Natsu. Let's not worry about the future past that."

Author's Note:And that's that. Hopefully it was confusing, but not so much so that everyone lost interest. Believe it or not, this was actually inspired by It's a Wonderful Life in some twisted way - though it was less what would the world be like without you and more what would your world be like without them. I do hope that no one was disappointed with the ending, but while I was writing this I had a sneaking suspicion I wasn't going to have to bump off any characters since the end of the Tartaros arc looked like it was going to be painful enough as it was... Huge thanks to Snogfairy for not only reading over this but also inviting me to take part in the Angstmas celebration. There are some truly fabulous and talented people in the Fairy Tail community, and I feel really lucky to have gotten to participate.