the only one

"She's coming today."

Kai glanced up at Tenzin, who looked very nervous, and gave him a pointed look, saying nothing. Kai knew full well that she was coming today. He had been counting down the days since she had given the date of her return, even if he hadn't wanted to. And if he was really being honest with himself, he had been counting down the minutes since she had left three years ago.

Tenzin sighed, rose from the table, and Kai could hear him murmur to Pema something along the lines of, "talk to him." Then the airbending master left the room, leaving him and Pema alone. For once, Ikki, Meelo and Rohan were occupied and taken care of, most likely too excited with their sister's return to stir up mischief.

"Kai," Pema began delicately, taking Tenzin's seat across from him. Kai, now a strapping young man of nineteen, only a year or two away from getting his tattoos, looked up at her, and from the bags under his eyes, Pema could tell he hadn't slept a wink the night before. Sadly, she wondered where the chipper young boy had gone. He was still there, but his smile was a little less genuine, his laughs a little more rare. Pema supposed he had begun to leave the day she had too.

"I'm fine Pema, really," he said, giving her one of his lopsided grins, but it didn't reach his eyes. He went to stand up but Pema reached over and wrapped her fingers around his wrist, holding him in place.

"You're not, Kai," she said sternly, a tone she used often on Ikki or Meelo. Rohan was quieter, more like his oldest sister. And over the years, Pema had come to see Kai as another son. Kai sighed, and shoulders slumping he sat back down. "You're not," Pema repeated more forcefully. "Don't lie to me. Don't lie to yourself. Come on Kai, what's on your mind? Bottling things up is never good for you."

Kai refused to meet her eyes. "I just..." He ran a hand through his hair. He laughed shakily and there was no humour in it. "She was my best friend. Is? She... I just... I just don't know anymore."

Kai glanced up at her, a sad look in his eyes.

It had been three years - three damn years with only a few letters in between, letters that had been crumpled and smoothed out and reread hundreds of times - but he could still picture Jinora's departure like it was yesterday. He had offered to make it work. To try. He had shown his vulnerable side, and in return she had rebuffed him and stabbed him, left with barely a backwards glance, leaving their relationship fractured. There had been many nights afterwards he had cried himself to sleep, especially when he sent letters and didn't get a reply. The rejection hurt more than getting shot out of the sky by P'li ever had.

But despite all that...

"Then what do you know?" Pema said gently.

Kai mumbled something inaudible. Pema gave him a confused look, and looking mad at himself, Kai raised his voice. "That I still love her." He pushed himself up from the table and this time Pema didn't stop him. He was lingering in the doorway, the woman's back turned to him, when he turned around to say, "And that I always will."

And then just like Tenzin, just like Jinora, he left. It was harder than he had expected.

Ikki spotted her first. "Look, there she is!" Rohan and Meelo clambered to the front of the crowd - Korra, Asami, Mako and Bolin, Tenzin, Pema and Bumi, of course, and some of the other airbenders and Acolytes - to get a better look. The only person missing was Kai. Tenzin assumed that the boy had holed himself up in his bedroom, or somewhere on the Island, or even somewhere in Republic City.

Tenzin couldn't blame Kai for not staying with the rest of them while they waited to spot Jinora's sky bison, Pepper, flying home at long last. Tenzin had been fortunate enough to have quick meetings with Jinora during diplomatic missions to the Fire Nation, with Jinora as the permanent Air Nomad ambassador. It had been a role Tenzin was reluctant to bestow, especially upon such Jinora at such a young age, barely sixteen, but she had proven herself more than capable, and as the group of airbending masters was only two, he had relatively no choice. The only consolation was that he knew, above all, Jinora would do her job well; and she had. And finally, she was coming home.

Pepper cut through the clouds as the bison descended, swiftly landing in the courtyard. Jinora climbed off the bison's head, landing gracefully on her feet. She was taller, her hair pulled into a long, tightly woven braid, straight backed and proud, more mature, her tattoos the same colour as the sunny, blue sky. Tenzin's not surprised to see tears forming in her bright brown eyes.

"Daddy!"

Even though she was taller, Tenzin still towered over her, wrapping her lithe frame tightly in his arms before letting Pema pull her into another hug. Meelo, even though he was going through his typical thirteen year old phase of "I'm-too-cool-for-anything" couldn't contain his happiness at seeing his sister and gladly joined in when Ikki gave her a bone crushing hug.

Jinora scooped up Rohan with difficulty, the seven year old squirming in her arms. "You've gotten so much bigger!" she laughed, ruffling his hair. Rohan gave her a gap-toothed grin, proudly showing off the places where his baby teeth had fallen out, and Jinora listened to him talk with rapt attention. One by one, Jinora's family and friends welcomed her home.

But when they were done, her smile struggled to stay on her face, her unspoken question hanging in the air: where's Kai?

Tenzin gave her a small, sad attempt at a smile. The crowd around them dissipated, Ikki having enough tact to drag Meelo and Rohan with her to leave her parents and her sister alone.

"Jinora," Tenzin began awkwardly, clearing his throat and looking to Pema for reassurance as of how to continue. "He's..."

"He's hurting," Pema supplied, and Tenzin thanked the Spirits for his wife's uncanny ability of knowing exactly what to say. "To be honest, we don't know exactly where he is. My best guess is that he's somewhere on the Island, I'd don't think he'd go as far as Republic City."

"Oh," Jinora said, and she wasn't sure what to feel.

Kai had always left her emotions muddled up and complicated, but this took the cake. On the one hand, she knew exactly why he wasn't there, had no idea how she would feel when she saw him again, and had a pretty good bet at knowing where he was, but unsure if she wanted to seek him out to begin with. Part of her was relieved. Part of her was disappointed. She didn't know which part was stronger. Or if both parts were weak.

"Oh," she said again. She swallowed hard. "Okay then."

"Oh honey," Pema pulled into another hug and Jinora buried her face in her mother's shoulder, grasping at the comfort it offered. For a minute, it didn't matter that she was a grown woman; all that mattered was that her heart was as broken as it had been when she was fifteen. Pema kissed the top of her head, pulling away. "Do you want to have some lunch?"

"Sure," Jinora mumbled. She half-smiled, looking up at her mother and trying to brighten the mood. Moping about Kai wouldn't do anybody any good. "That sounds nice Mom."

Pema beamed at her, and led the way to the Temple.

Jinora thought, for a second, she saw an orange glider against the sky, a gleam of all too familiar features - green eyes and dark hair - but then the glider faded away, and she was steered into the house.

From years on the streets, Kai knew how to be stealthy. And although he wasn't born an airbender, he knew how to evade and avoid, so that's exactly what he did. Over the next week, he jumped through hoops to avoid seeing Jinora. Her schedule was different than it had been when they were younger, as she settled back into her old home, but Kai quickly learned how to deal with it. His sleeping patterns became irregular and sporadic, and he spent most of the day roaming the Island or the busy streets of the City. He took extra errands to get out of the Temple and dawdled when it came to his duties or chores.

To some, it was extreme. To him, it was necessary if he didn't want to be hurt again.

Rubbing his tired eyes, Kai headed to the kitchen. It was nearly two in the morning, there was no way anyone else was up; he wouldn't be either if he could actually sleep, but for obvious reasons like the fact his mind refused to shut up, he figured having some calming tea might help out.

The kitchen was dimly lit and like Kai expected, it was... Not empty.

Jinora looked up as he entered, a nervous expression on her face. Judging by the cup of still steaming tea in her hands, she had had the same idea as him. "Kai," she said immediately. It felt so good to hear her say his name; he had started to be afraid he would forget the way she said it.

"Jinora," he said simply, having half a mind to turn around right away and leave, but something - her big brown eyes? - held him to the spot. "Mind if I sit down?" he managed. Jinora nodded, pursing her lips and then taking a long sip of her tea.

While she drank, Kai studied her. Her face had sharpened, matured, her hair long and loose around her shoulders, but still as curly. Her eyelashes framed her brown eyes nicely, her lips soft and full. She had grown up in many ways, but she was still the same girl he had fallen in love with. He was in love with.

"Couldn't sleep," Jinora said at last, setting her drink down. She seemed to be almost as tired as he was. "You?"

"The same," Kai said indifferently, and a silence fell between them. Once, their silences had been comfortable, companionable, but now, it seemed like a wall.

Jinora avoided his eyes. "Look, Kai," she said finally, desperate for him to somehow understand, "I'm sorry-"

Sorry. The word ignited a spark of anger, anger that had long been kept at bay. "Sorry?" he snapped. "Sorry?!"

"Kai-" Tears welled in Jinora's eyes.

"You left without so much as a goodbye, for three years! I was willing to give it a shot, to try to make it work! I sent you letters, and did I ever get a reply?! A single note? No, of course not, not a damn thing – because you were busy, because you had a duty to fulfill."

Now that he had started, it felt impossible to stop, like when a dam broke over years of keeping the harsh water from spilling over. He realized he was pacing, and wondered when he had stood up in the first place, but he didn't stop talking.

"And I understood that, because I know you – or I thought I did, because my best friend, my girlfriend, the Jinora I knew wouldn't leave someone like that…" He cast Jinora a furious look, felt a pang of guilt at the hurt look on her face. There she went again, controlling his emotions, because she had a hold over his heart that had never let go… "When she had promised she would always be there for him. She wouldn't have lied," he muttered, clenching his fists.

"That's rich," Jinora spluttered, freely crying now, her features slanted in rage. "Coming from you!"

Kai whirled around the face her, seething. "What the hell is that supposed to mean?"

Jinora drew herself up to her full height, though she was still shorter than him, her shoulders trembling. "You're a liar!"

"Was," Kai growled, feeling angry tears prick at the corners of his eyes. "Was and you know that! I had no choice-"

"Like I had a choice about whether I left or not! You were a thief, you stole from honest people, you could have made a different choice and-"

"SHUT UP!" The ferocity of his voice surprised even him. Jinora stopped short, curling into herself. Furiously, he wiped his stinging eyes. Kai was breathing heavily, spinning in circles. His head was throbbing, his heart jammed in his already constricted throat. "That's low and you know it, you know better than anyone else what I went through on those streets!"

He stared at her intensely, his eyes burning. She withered under his gaze. For a few minutes, they stared at each other, the only noise the sound of their breathing.

"I know," Jinora's voice broke, and he softened. "I'm sorry, that was wrong, I shouldn't have..." Her expression crumpled and he wanted to wrap his arms around her and make it all better somehow; instead, he kept his arms pinned to his side.

"You shouldn't have done a lot of things," Kai muttered quietly, but she still heard him. He turned his back to her and walked out of the kitchen, feeling more exhausted than before.

"Kai!" she called out, but he didn't look back. He didn't thin he could afford to.

"Sweetie, I'm sure if you just talked to him-"

"I've tried," Jinora sighed. The two women were in the kitchen, talking while Pema also fixed lunch for her siblings. Jinora would have offered to help if she trusted her emotional stability, but as of right now, she didn't. "And it ended in a shouting match at 2 am in the morning."

Pema winced, smiling sheepishly. "I sort of heard a bit of that. Or at least, I heard you slam your door an hour later."

"Oh," Jinora swallowed hard. "What about Kai?"

"Never heard him go up to bed," Pema said. "But I'm sure he's alright, he can more than take care of himself."

Jinora put her head in her hands, groaning. "I said some really stupid things, Mom. I wish I could take them all back. I wish I could... make another choice, three years ago. But am I even supposed to face him now? I tried earlier yesterday and he just walked on by me like I didn't even exist," she said miserably. Pema rubbed soothing circles into her daughter's back.

"You've hurt him badly sweetheart," Pema said, not unkindly. "I know it's hard, but... You know what he told me, the day you came back?" Had that really only been almost two weeks ago? It felt like a lifetime. "He said he loved you. And that he always would. He doesn't expect you to return any of his feelings at all. But after all this, the least he deserves is an explanation of why you did what you did when you left."

Jinora nodded numbly, chewing on her bottom lip. "You're right." She pecked her mother on the cheek. "Thanks Mom."

The young master left the kitchen with the resolve to sort out this complicated mess, today, just to have over and done with so she - he? they? - could finally have some peace. Now, all she needed was the opportunity to talk to Kai, and as she walked down the hallway, it looked like such an opportunity was rearing its head when she spotted him walking by himself.

"Kai!" she jogged to catch up to him. Kai didn't even spare her a glance, staring steadfastly ahead; Jinora's heart throbbed painfully. "Kai please." She grabbed his wrist. "I need to talk to you, seriously, I'm sorry-"

Kai jerked his hand out of her grip, a sad look on his face. "There's nothing to say Jinora, I..." he trailed off, shaking his head, and for a moment, it looked like he was going to say something more, that maybe he was going to give her a chance to truly apologize and make things right. But then a pained smile came onto his face, and he walked off.

Jinora stood there, reeling from the rejection. She knew she sort of deserved this, after doing the same thing to him, but it still felt a sledgehammer had just smashed her heart to pieces.

"Jinora?"

She looked up to see Ikki, a concerned expression on her sister's face. Jinora sniffled. "Yeah?"

"I'm guessing... that didn't go as well as you planned," Ikki said, frowning. Jinora simply shook her head and walked back to the Temple while Kai left it. Hoping maybe she could help fix things, Ikki ran after Kai. "Hey! Stop!"

Kai turned around at the sound of her voice, giving her a tired smile. "Hey Ikki. What's up?"

Ikki put her hands on her hips, assuming an assertive stance. "Kai, you can't just ignore Jinora like that, she's-"

Kai's smile vanished. "She did the same thing to me for three years Ikki," he said coldly.

Ikki rolled her eyes. "And do you really want her to go through the same thing you did?" Kai's face softened, shame settling over his face. He looked down at the ground, and Ikki knew she had scored a point. "I know you're hurt, and you have every right to be. But if you ever want to stop hurting, you need to work through this."

Kai sighed, giving her a small smile. "You know, you're pretty smart for a kid."

"I know," Ikki said, puffing out her chest proudly.

"I'll use your advice, okay? Just not now, later," Kai bargained. Ikki stared at him. Typical airbending fashion: evade and avoid and run from your feelings. She was going to have to take matters into her own hands, wasn't sure?

Ikki took things into her own hands.

"Ikki!" Jinora said angrily. "What are you doing?" The younger girl shoved her sister with a huge effort towards the closet.

"Making you and Kai work out your issues," Ikki said, forcing the door shut. Jinora was pushed into the dark, cramped space, illuminated only by a single light bulb dangling from the ceiling, and bumped into Kai, who was backed up against one of the walls. The closet was tiny, and if she took one step forward, she'd be pressed right up against him.

"How did you get in here?" she gasped.

"Meelo ambushed me outside of my room," Kai shrugged. He was frowning, but he was talking, and it gave Jinora hope. Maybe, they could actually resolve their issues - just ideally not inside a closet.

She tried the doorknob but it wouldn't turn; Ikki must have locked it from the outside, keeping them trapped in here. "Great," she muttered.

Kai cleared his throat, raising his eyebrows. "You know, there was time you would have loved to be locked in a closet with me," he said, a feeble attempt at a joke. Jinora chuckled softly anyway. "So, erm..."

"Kai," Jinora said gently. She spread her hands out imploringly. "Look, I'm..." she hesitated, afraid to say sorry again. "I was wrong to say what I said the other week. It was a low blow and I didn't mean it. It wasn't true at all." Kai simply nodded. "And, I um... I shouldn't have acted the way I did when I was gone. I'm sorry that I rebuffed you and ignored you."

Jinora swallowed thickly as Kai stared intently at her. "I'm sorry I hurt you," she stressed again, wringing her hands nervously.

"Thank you for telling me this," he said, his throat as dry as sandpaper. He was all too aware of how close they were to each other, he could feel traces of her breath on his lips. He studied her thoughtfully. After so long, he had what he wanted: an apology. And now there was an opportunity to know why, and, perhaps, to have her be in his life again, even if it was only as a friend.

"But," Kai continued. "Why?"

She squirmed under his gaze, but Kai didn't look away. He waited, jittery with anticipation as he watched her make up her mind, practically seeing the gears turn in her head. Their eyes locked when she glanced up at him, chewing her bottom lip and tucking a strand that had come loose from her braid behind her ear. He recognized the habit; she always did it when she was self-conscious or nervous. A new hairstyle, a new relationship, but some things never changed. He couldn't help the way his lips twitched upwards.

"I guess," she said at last, wringing her hands again, "I was... scared." Kai's eyes widened; he didn't know exactly what he had been expecting, but it wasn't that. Jinora cleared her throat. "I was scared of being hurt, or of giving the long distance thing a shot and having it fail and then we'd never give it another try. I didn't think about how it might ruin our relationship forever, or in the beginning I didn't. It seemed like the easier option. I was just trying to save myself from pain, and I didn't think of how I would be causing you pain."

"And I know," Jinora rushed on, pausing only for a short breath, "that it's no excuse for my actions. As smart as I am - or maybe despite how stupid I can be, I didn't bank on the fact that despite all my efforts to leave you and my feelings behind, you were on the back of my mind every day. I tried to make myself reach out to you so many times. Whenever I got your letters," she laughed a little sadly, "they would make me so happy and I spent hours trying to write back. It seems crazy, but for all of my extensive vocabulary, I could never find the right words... Nothing ever seemed good enough to make you forgive me."

"You're not doing half-bad right now," Kai said quietly, a shadow of a smile playing across his lips. She wiped her teary eyes, managing out a shaky laugh. Even after everything, he could still make her laugh.

"Thanks," she mumbled.

"I wanted to say sorry as well," Kai added hastily. "I shouldn't have ignored you earlier either."

"Apology accepted," she said happily. It looked like they were finally moving on, or at least starting to. Kai seemed to realize the same thing and positively beamed at her, his bright green eyes shinning. She felt the familiar tickling sensation of butterflies in her stomach, newly revived but never fully forgotten. Kai had always been cute in her eyes, and later handsome, and he had only grown more so in their years apart, in her opinion.

It made her think back to her mother's words, of Kai's devotion. He said he loved you. And that he always would. "I never saw anyone else, you know," Jinora ventured bravely, catching him by surprise.

Kai gave her a puzzled look, and it relieved her to see that the tenseness in his shoulders was gone. "What do you mean?"

"Other boys," she elaborated, flushing. "I was never..." she paused, knowing she had to choose her words carefully. "Interested in them." Even though it was dark, she could see Kai's cheeks turn a bright red.

He scratched the back of his neck, the gesture so familiar it helped her nervousness fade. Old habits died hard, she knew that for a fact. "Oh," he said, nonplussed, looking anywhere but at her.

"I just thought I should tell you, because well, my mother said there was a, um, possibility," she gave him an uneasy smile, "that you still sorta had, um, feelings for me." She didn't want to use to the word love; it seemed almost too strong a word to come out of her mouth, even though that was certainly what she felt for him, if he constant frantic thrum of her heart against her rib-cage was any indication. She chuckled weakly, attempting to be nonchalant and more aware than ever of how close Kai was to her because she was trying not to look at him, which was more difficult than ever. "Which is crazy right?"

"It's not that crazy," Kai whispered, a tender look in his eyes. Jinora froze, unsure of how to react, when he leaned down and kissed her.

Jinora responded automatically, snaking her arms around his neck and pulling him closer, pressing their bodies together. Her back hit the wall of a closet with a dull thud. She ran her fingers through his hair, tracing his jawline with her other hand, relishing in the taste of his lips - warm, chapped and sweet like berries - the same taste she remember.

The kisses of their youth had always been gentle, slow and hesitant, both of them so new to a romantic relationship and to their growing feelings for each other. But this kiss was of yearning, of longing and missing and mistakes, so many wrongs, now being made right. The old saying was true: absence makes the heart grow fonder.

Jinora surfaced for air, regretfully pulling away. Kai was breathing heavily too, an awestruck look on his face, which was only a few inches from her own. Jinora's face broke into a giddy grin, mirrored by Kai's. She was still pressed against him, wrapped in his arms with no intention of ever being anywhere else. She leaned in to kiss him again when the door was wrenched open.

Light poured into the closet, momentarily blinding her, but when her vision cleared, she saw Ikki and Meelo grinning at her. "Looks like you two worked out your issues," Ikki teased, winking.

Jinora blushed, beaming at her sister. She had Ikki to thank for this, after all. She turned to Kai. "Yeah," she slipped her fingers through his, giving his hand a squeeze. His palm was warm, his fingers filling the spaces in between her own like missing pieces of a puzzle, now complete. Kai beamed back at her. "We have."

"You're leaving."

Kai glanced up at Tenzin, who was smiling, and grinned back at the airbending master, not saying a word. Kai knew full well that they - he and Jinora - were leaving today. It had been a full year since Jinora had returned - a year full of more happiness than he thought possible, of kisses and dates and getting back to the way they used to be, now more mature and more ready for their feelings; they knew what they wanted. But now, Jinora had to go back to the Fire Nation to check in on the treaties she had set up, especially with the Air Nation growing all the while - and Kai was going with her.

And once their political business was taken care of, they were going to travel the world like the airbenders of old had done. Now that Kai had his tattoos, he was officially a master, on the cusp of his twenty-first birthday; traveling the world with Jinora was one thing he had always dreamed of doing, and now he was finally going to put it into action.

Tenzin rose from the table as Jinora hovered in the doorway. "I'll let you two talk," Tenzin said, giving Kai one last smile before leaving.

Jinora took her father's seat, her excitement palpable. She stretched her hand halfway across the table, joining Kai's midway. He lightly brushed his lips over her hand. "Hey."

"Hey," she repeated, giving his hand a squeeze. "We're really doing this. Leaving. You know, I'm going to enjoy the Fire Nation a lot more this time around."

"Why?" Kai asked, genuinely curious. Now, of course, she wasn't going to have their previously fractured relationship hanging over her head, so that obviously helped.

"I'll have you," she told him, a rosy blush dusting her cheeks. Kai beamed at her, rising from the table and pulling her along with him, before wrapping his arms around her. Jinora happily settled into his arms, resting her head on his chest.

"Kai?" At the sound of his name he glanced down at her, her beautiful brown eyes gazing lovingly at him. "I love you." Kai inhaled sharply. It was the first time she had ever said it, those three words going unsaid while they rebuilt their relationship, the conversation of what Pema had said never being touched upon. He knew it was a leap of faith, of vulnerability and trust, and it showed just how far they had come from the day she had left.

Kai gave her a brief kiss. "I love you too," he said softly. "I never stopped."

Jinora smiled tearfully at him. "Don't ever stop."

Kai tried to figure out when he had first started to be in love with her - had it been when she had discovered he couldn't read, and offered to teach him? Or later, when he had helped her name her sky bison Pepper? Or perhaps, he had fallen in love with her the very first moment he had seen her, and it was staying in love that was the trick that people struggled with, that which they had not perfected, but managed with?

It seemed it had always been Jinora, even when she was gone, it had always been her. He had always been hers; she had always been his. He wouldn't mind keeping it that way.

"I guess you'll just have to get used to the fact you're the only one for me, then."

Jinora leaned up to kiss him, smiling. "I guess so."

A few hours later, Kai clutched Pepper's reins in one hand, with Jinora leaning against him, an arm wrapped around her waist. Tenzin and Pema, proud of both of them, along with Ikki, Meelo, Rohan and everyone else, waved until Kai couldn't see them anymore, Pepper sailing through the sky towards their destination. Air Temple Island, and then Republic City, faded to a tiny dot on the horizon, and then not even that.

And just like, they left. It was as easy as Kai had expected.

A/N: This took me six days and was occupying quite a large space in my mind, but finally, it's done. I did a lot of thinking throughout this fic to make sure I kept these two stubborn adorable idiots in character - but I think I nailed them, and actually have a better understanding of them now too. I don't usually write conflict in their relationship internally - usually it's from external problems, more than anything else - but it was lots of fun to examine. As for Jinora being harsh in their fight, she says some pretty mean stuff to Tenzin in "Original Airbenders"; she knew exactly what would hurt most. So I could see a similar thing happening with Kai. Not to mention I headcanon Kai having some abandonment-issues if you will, due to the fact I believe his parents gave him up because they didn't want him, and he grew up on the streets too. But if anyone wants to talk/debate with me, I'd be happy to!

Anyway, I hope you guys enjoy this, I know I certainly enjoyed writing it. As always, I love to hear your thoughts, so feel free to leave them in the box below! :)