2.12
What if Deacon and Rayna's writing got a little too reminiscent?
We didn't write I shouldn't love you here. Rayna said, grinning as Deacon sat on the floor surrounded by the half empty pizza box and half a dozen crumpled napkins. She sat near the couch, the top button of her jeans undone from the two slices of pizza she ate, her boots off and feet bare on the threadbare carpet near him.
Yeah we did. Deacon replied, a grin in his eyes.
No we didn't. Rayna replied.
Where did we write it then? He asked.
Rayna inhaled.
Oh… right. I remember… now. Deacon said.
Mmhmm… you beginning to remember why we don't write anymore? She asked.
Nope. He replied.
Try that riff you were pickin' earlier with this line. Rayna said, holding her note pad out to him.
He leant in to look at the note pad, glancing at her face, and before he knew it, his lips were on hers, and his hand that held his guitar was sliding the guitar gently to the floor as he reached for her face.
No… we… we can't. Rayna said.
Sorry. God… I… we shouldn't write together. Deacon said.
I should… I should go. Rayna said.
Stay… let's finish the song. We're adults right? Deacon asked.
Are we? She replied as the door swung open.
Hi, sorry, just grabbing a file I forgot this morning, don't let me interrupt. Megan said, barely pausing to look at them.
Rayna reached for her boots, pulling them onto her feet quickly, standing and re-buttoning her jeans tight around her waist.
I'll see you. She said, rushing out the door.
She gone? Megan asked.
Uh… yeah. Deacon said, scratching his head.
I didn't mean to interrupt anything. She said.
Uh… you didn't. She's… weird about this song writing thing. Deacon said.
Did you get anything? Megan asked.
Yeah… think we wrote another number one. Deacon said.
It's just a pity it's not for your album. Megan replied.
Being number one ain't me. I am more than happy being in the background for those. Deacon said.
Did she help you with… any of your stuff? Megan asked.
Yeah… No… I don't know, she gave me a few ideas. Deacon said.
Good well, I will, let you be. Megan said, walking over to Deacon to kiss him goodbye.
Love you. She said.
Mmm… bye. Deacon replied, distractedly.
She had dropped a single. A single on her label, it had been released to the world. The guitar track Deacon had finished even after she'd left his house in a tizz. She'd sent him a couriered song writing pack as she recorded their song, the pizza delivery man had dropped it off at lunch time the day after their song writing session, a pizza, a packet of vanilla coffee roast and filter papers for his dripper, gummy bears, a new leather bound lyrics journal and graham cookies he loved but could never find in the stores. The note sent with it quickly disappeared into his song writing journal, 'D, Thank you for writing with me, I know you have a lot to lose these days, think we wrote another number one between lunch and school pick up, I will always love writing with you, but maybe we shouldn't do it again, Love, R.'
Since then, music had flown from his hand, his mouth and his guitar. He'd dug out an old journal full of song lines and verses he and Rayna had scribbled down in the old days, some in her writing as he drove them to the cabin, others in his. A couple had sections that Rayna had written and put Vince's name next to, as the three of them tried to nut out songs while on the road.
He would trace her writing for a few minutes before writing the song. Mesmerized by how he still felt so much for her, after all this time and after everything they'd put each other through. Megan had come home each night at some ridiculous hour of the morning, surprised to see him consistently awake and still writing, going to bed by herself. He pulled more than one all nighter.
I think I should be worried about you. Megan said as she woke the second morning alone.
Why? Deacon asked, not looking up from the page.
You clearly got a burst of… inspiration and it wasn't from me. She said.
I'm working on old material. Deacon replied.
Coffee? She asked.
There's some on the bench. Deacon replied.
Oh… you got new filters, thank you. She said, seeing the dripper full.
She took a sip from a cup, him still preoccupied on the couch.
What is this? Megan asked, spitting some back into the mug.
Vanilla coffee. Deacon replied.
Since when do you… drink vanilla coffee? She asked.
I drink it when I write. Deacon replied.
Where'd you get it? Megan asked.
Deacon shrugged.
Rayna? Rayna brought you coffee powder? That's where this inspiration has come from? And the cookies on the bench? Megan asked.
I haven't seen her since we wrote her single… she sent coffee and cookies to help me write. That's all okay? It used to be this… weird habit we had, it works okay? Deacon asked.
Am I meant to be okay with this? Megan asked.
I haven't even talked to her since we wrote the damn song, you know I didn't go to the party that night since I was here waiting to take you, should I be worried about this big case you've got going on? Deacon asked.
It's my work Deacon. Megan replied.
Writing songs is mine right now. Can't you understand that? Or is that too much to understand for your legal mind? Deacon asked.
My legal mind is going to work now Deacon. Maybe you could move the two day old pizza box today? Megan asked.
It's yesterdays. It helps me think. Deacon replied before the door shut.
So… I was thinking, you know how Edgehill desperately want me to promote this… duet? Rayna asked Luke.
Yeah I do. Luke replied, placing his hands on her waist.
Well… I've got this… shopping centre performance tomorrow and… I thought, we could sing ball and chain and then I could do this time. Rayna replied.
Oh I see… you want to use me to get you a bigger audience? Babe, they're gonna love you. Still don't know how you can spit a charting single out within a few hours. Luke said.
You don't want to perform with me, that's ok. Rayna replied.
I didn't say that. I'd love to perform with you. Luke said.
You're gonna have to keep your paws to yourself. Rayna said.
Oh baby I ain't ever needed hands before. Luke said.
What? She exclaimed, as her phone rang.
Deacon. Luke said, picking it up off the bench and handing it to her.
Thanks. It's probably… like about Maddie. Rayna said.
Hey. She said.
Hey… uh, thanks for… you know, the parcel. Deacon said.
You're welcome. It been helping? She asked.
Yeah. It's been helping. Think that coffee's writing songs on its own. Deacon said, her laughing.
I'm glad. She replied.
So… I'm recording my album tomorrow night at the Bluebird. Deacon said.
No way, really? Live at the bluebird huh? She asked.
Yep. I was kind of wondering if you'd like to come. Deacon said.
Sure… I bet Maddie would love to come, we'd love to come. Rayna said.
Oh, yeah… Deacon said, and her breath hitched. He was inviting her, not her in her role as mother of their daughter and chaperone, but he wanted her there.
Unless you… She said.
No, that'd be great Ray. Really great. He said.
Ok… so we'll see you, about… 8? She asked.
Alright, can't wait. He replied.
Me either, can't believe you're recording at the bluebird. I'm so proud of you. She said.
Thanks Ray. See you tomorrow. He said.
Deacon at the bluebird? Luke asked.
Yeah… wants Maddie there for his recording. Rayna said.
It's a school night. Luke said.
How many times is her father going to record at the bluebird? Rayna asked.
Her father? Luke asked.
What were we talking about Mr no hands on the wheel. Rayna said, changing the subject and quickly distracting him.
I have to pick the girls up from school, soon. Rayna said, inwardly kicking herself for landing up in bed with Luke just to change the subject from Maddie's parentage.
You need a Nanny. Luke said.
I do not need a Nanny… I need you… to… not be so tempting. Rayna said.
So I was thinking… we could do… brunch with the kids on Saturday? Luke said.
Why would we do that? Rayna asked.
So they can get to know each other. Luke replied.
I thought we were… having fun, you know, keeping it light? She said.
Rayna, I love you. I have loved you since I first met you, I thought we could… maybe use tomorrow as our introduction. Luke said.
Babe, tomorrow has to be about my single. The second we… tell the world about us, there's no going back. We'll be Ruke, or Layna, or… She began.
It ain't gonna hurt your career baby. Luke said.
I know it won't, but I don't want to be that girl. Rayna replied.
What girl? Luke asked.
Just… not just yet okay? Now… you need to go, so I can go and get my girls. Rayna said.
Sometimes I think I'm just your play thing Rayna James. Luke said, kissing her again.
Anything wrong with being my play thing? She asked, shifting in his arms.
Nope. Just that I want more. Luke said.
Why can't I go to the bluebird with Maddie? Daphne asked.
Because, it is going to be late and you, are going to have a great time with your Aunt. Rayna replied.
This is so cool. It was cool last time, but… Maddie began.
I know baby, not very often you get to be at a live recording in the bluebird. Rayna said.
Why didn't you ever record here? Maddie asked.
Edgehill. Rayna replied.
Hey. Deacon said, walking over to them.
Hey. Rayna replied, as Maddie hugged her Dad.
This is so cool Dad. She said.
I'm glad y'all could make it. You're my family. Deacon said.
Well, thanks for inviting us. Rayna replied.
Do I know any of the songs you're playing? Maddie asked.
You know that song that you helped me write? That's in there. Deacon said.
Hey. Deacon said, as Megan walked over to him in her business suit.
Hi, did I miss it? She asked.
Nope, we're just about to start. Deacon replied.
Anything else I know? Maddie asked.
Nope. It's… a lot of old stuff that I just… finished, finally. Deacon said.
I can't wait. Maddie said.
I am going to get dinner for you… I swear someone should give me an award for being the worst mother. Rayna said, squeezing Maddie's shoulder as she went to the bar.
You haven't eaten yet? It's almost eight o'clock… it's not good to eat so late. Megan said.
Daphne had dancing… so Mum and I went for a walk while she was there and we looked in an old record store… then Daphne kind of threw a tantrum about not being allowed to come to the Bluebird, she wanted to spend time with Mum, so… we had to fight her a bit so she'd go with Aunt Tandy. Maddie said.
Why didn't your Aunt just bring you? Megan asked.
Tandy is not my biggest fan. Deacon replied, making Maddie laugh.
Rayna sat next to Maddie who sat between Megan and Rayna, a smile on her face, remembering some of the lyrics Deacon was singing, where they were written, what they were about. The song he wrote when they were leaving Mexico, a promise to her that they'd get back there one day, she'd cried when he'd packed the car to leave, wanting nothing more than to stay where all they had to do each day was love each other, no press, no managers, no crowds. (Darius Rucker – Lost in You) Rayna didn't realise it as she nodded along to the music, mouthing the words of the songs she knew. She always wondered why they'd never released that one but when they'd gotten back from Mexico things had gone downhill fast and two years later, Maddie was here and she was married.
So… my label want me to tell you what these songs are about, but… some of these are from old scribbles in my notebook. We… wrote most of this next song way back in the 80's… a couple of us took a few days from the tour, borrowed a relatives truck and drove… They were the good old days with my buddy Vince, he always wanted to be the DJ and turn the radio up to loud, this one's for you bud. Deacon said, glancing at Rayna who had already worked out what he was going to sing, before he started strumming radio (Darius Rucker). (Kenny Chesney – Come over)
Deacon played seven songs, believing, one she'd never heard and five that they'd written back in the day, or part written. Her heart was in pieces in her chest, with pride in him, relief that he'd made it, love, grief for their broken relationship, she had no clue what she was feeling.
So I'm going to ask a gigantic favour about now, there are what, sixty people here? I know that's not what she's used to, but… maybe if y'all help me, Rayna James will get up here and help me out on this song. Deacon said.
She looked at him wondering what song he was thinking of.
This is a half drafted song from years ago… most of our songs are half drafted come to think of it, I'll let you cheat with lyrics. Deacon said.
Go on Mum! Maddie said, as Megan frowned at her.
She rolled her eyes at Deacon as she stood up, some of the sixty odd people who were in the Bluebird had started mumbling, Rayna James.
What are we doing? She asked, taking a microphone from his back-up singer.
He handed her the note book as he started to strum his guitar.
This song is called I will love you still. Deacon said, just before starting singing.
Rayna harmonised through the song, adding the lines she'd written in when they'd first written the song. Maddie was a baby, they were on the road, Deacon had used the song as some sort of why don't you love me anymore call, and she'd used her lines to say that she did. Afterwards, they hadn't talked to each other for about four days. As they finished the song, the bluebird deadly silent, Rayna looked up from Deacon to their daughter who's eyes were beaming.
Thanks. Deacon said softly.
You're welcome. Rayna replied, equally softly as she walked off the stage.
Rayna took the opportunity while she was standing to head to the bathroom, taking a few minutes to compose herself in front of the poor quality mirror and dab at her wet eyes so the tears wouldn't fall.
She returned as Deacon finished his last song, the audience cheering for him as he thanked them.
Ready to go baby girl? It is late. Rayna said.
Can't we stay? Please? I just want to say goodnight. Maddie said.
Three minutes. Rayna replied.
That was quite some performance. Luke said, walking over to her.
Hey Luke. Rayna said.
Y'all rehearse that? Luke asked.
Rayna shook her head, conscious that Megan and Maddie were glued to her.
No… that was, not what I came here for tonight. Rayna replied.
It was amazing Mum. Maddie said, as her phone tweeted with the sound of birds.
Your parents can churn out some music. Megan replied under her breath.
Oh my god, Mum, you've just hit number one! Maddie said.
I thought I told you I wanted that alert thing turned off, it's not healthy Maddie. Rayna said.
Mum, you're number one. Maddie said.
Congrats babe. Luke said, hugging her and going to kiss her, her turning just in time so he got her cheek.
Come on Maddie, your three minutes must be up by now. Rayna said.
I've got a car waiting, I can take y'all home. Luke said.
Thanks but I drove. Rayna replied.
You drove? Luke asked.
Mmhmm, got a problem with a girl that drives? She asked.
Nope, just assumed you'd have a driver. Luke replied, as she watched Maddie walk over to where Deacon was talking to a couple of A & R reps. She smiled softly as Deacon wrapped his arm around his daughters shoulders, hugging her into his side as he talked to them, and watched as he talked to Maddie once the men had left, the girl giggling and talking to her father excitedly.
That was so cool. Maddie said.
It was, wasn't it? Rayna replied, as she reversed out of her parking spot.
Dad said that the label is really happy and love the music he wrote and they think there are a couple of singles. Maddie said.
Did he? Rayna replied.
I liked that song you did with Dad. Maddie said.
That old one? That man mustn't throw anything out if he has journals from back then. Rayna replied, nonchalantly.
How did your performance go today? Maddie asked.
It was good. Rayna replied.
Was Luke there too? Maddie asked.
Yep. We performed ball and chain. Rayna replied.
Does it… feel the same? Performing with Luke, and performing with Dad? Maddie asked.
Performing in front of 10,000 fans in a shopping centre is different to performing at the Bluebird baby. Rayna replied.
Which do you prefer? Maddie asked.
I like both of them. Rayna replied.
I don't know if I like Megan. Maddie said, after a minute or two of silence.
Why not baby? Rayna replied.
I don't know… that it will work between them, she doesn't really like music. Maddie replied.
Sometimes it's nice to have someone who… isn't from that world. Teddy and I were good together. Rayna replied.
You got divorced. You're kind of proving my argument here. Maddie said.
Maddie, we spent fourteen years together. It was a different time in our lives when we met, neither your Dad or I did the work in that marriage that we should have. Rayna replied, pulling into their garage.
But if you'd have loved each other and understood each other's careers better, it would have been better. Maddie said.
Up to bed baby. Rayna replied.
Mum… Maddie said, as they got out of the car.
What baby? Rayna replied.
Is it just me or is Luke a bit creepy? Maddie asked.
That… is just you. Rayna replied.
He's always hanging around you. Maddie said.
Well… I guess you could say we've been hanging out a lot with this song. Rayna replied.
Please don't tell me you're going to date him. Maddie said.
What would be wrong with that? He's a great guy Maddie. Rayna replied.
Please. He's not Dad. Maddie replied.
Maddie… maybe the reason I like him is that he's not your Dad okay? Your Dad and I… both of them, are history okay? They're both very happy… Rayna replied.
My Dad looked happier when you were on stage with him than I've ever seen him. Maddie said, as Rayna followed her up the stairs, to try and get her to go to bed.
You've never seen him when he has his arm around you then. Night Maddie. Rayna replied.
Rayna waited in her room until she heard the girls nightly routine finish, a shower, teeth brushed, light switches off.
She got into bed and tossed and turned, the smell of Luke's cologne assaulting her nose. She laid in the bed for a few minutes before throwing the sheets off and getting out of bed, stripping the sheets and doona cover, she carried them downstairs and set the washing machine to run in the morning before collecting new bedding, remaking her bed.
As she climbed back into bed, she shook her head at herself.
Her ex boyfriends were happy, she deserved to be too, but really? Was it Luke? Was he going to be the one to make him happy?
As she drove back into her driveway after dropping Maddie off at school, with the coffee she stopped for, she saw Deacon's car in her garage along-side where she parked. She cursed herself for giving him the clicker when they'd dated so briefly last year.
She walked into her house, seeing Deacon sitting at her kitchen bench writing her a note.
Hey. She said.
Hey. Sorry I let myself in. He said.
It's fine. I was just taking Maddie to school. Rayna said.
Oh, right. Deacon replied, feeling like he should have known that. He shifted back in the stool, as she stood on the opposite side of the bench, reaching for the note.
Ray, I know last night was a bit of a mistake but we need to talk about it… She read.
I… shouldn't have called you up on stage, I'm sorry. He said.
How much trouble are you in? She replied.
I'm getting the silent treatment from one, and the pressure from another. He replied.
Megan's giving you the silent treatment? She asked, wondering what he meant about pressure.
Yeah… and Belcourt want that as my first single. Deacon said.
Oh. So… Megan's doubly pissed? Rayna asked.
I haven't even told her that yet. Deacon said.
So… you… Rayna began.
They wanted me to talk to you about it. Deacon said.
How bad do I sound on it? She asked.
You sound amazing on it. He replied.
Do what you got to do. Rayna replied.
You in trouble? He asked.
From Luke? Or our daughter? Rayna asked.
Luke. I… know you two are dating. Deacon said.
I don't know if I'd call it dating… god I… he wants to get our kids together. Rayna said.
But he was fine last night? Deacon asked.
He was a bit pissed… Rayna replied.
Sorry. He replied.
Don't be… I had a wonderful conversation with our daughter about him last night, she finds him creepy. Rayna replied.
Deacon chuckled.
She like Megan? Deacon asked.
No… but don't take it personally. Rayna replied.
She say why? Deacon asked.
She worries that you two are too different… but it was a nicer reason than I got for Mum, please don't date Luke. Rayna replied.
What'd she say about Luke? Deacon asked.
Doesn't matter. Rayna replied.
What? That he's not me? Deacon said.
Did you put that into her head? Rayna asked.
Nope. But… she told me last time we hung out. Deacon said.
I need you to… be on Teddy and my side for this, as long as each other is happy… Rayna said.
Are you? He asked.
I don't know Deacon. I don't know. Rayna replied.
You like performing with him? Deacon asked.
She shrugged. It's not like us… but I don't know how much more I can take of us performing. Rayna said.
Did I make you cry last night? He asked.
No… it wasn't you. It's just… our situation. It sucks. Rayna said.
Deacon stood from his chair, walking around to her in the kitchen.
We shouldn't have written together I… my mind just… Deacon said.
It won't happen again. Rayna said.
Just… one more… we got to get this out of our system. Deacon said.
Don't be stupid, it doesn't work like that. Rayna replied.
I… don't know what else to do. Deacon said, walking over to her.
We can't. She said.
Please. Deacon said.
Deacon I… us getting into bed with one another isn't going to solve anything. Rayna said, looking up at him, before tilting her head accepting his kiss. She moaned as he pulled her close before walking them across the walkway, pressing her into the fridge as he deepened the kiss.
Why are you so good at this? She asked.
It's not just me, it's us. Deacon replied, pulling her shirt out from her jeans, his hands going to her bare back.
Why are we… Rayna began.
You want me to stop? Deacon asked.
God… Yes… No… I don't know. Rayna said.
Look at me baby. He said.
What was that? Rayna asked softly.
I don't know. Deacon replied softly.
We shouldn't… have done that. Rayna said.
You regret it? Deacon asked.
She nodded.
I'm sorry. It was my fault. Deacon said.
It doesn't matter who's fault it was… it matters that it happened. Rayna said.
Just… answer me this. Deacon said, rolling onto his side to look at her. They'd both been lying on their backs on her bed.
What? She asked.
How are you so good in bed? Where'd you learn all that stuff? He asked.
What stuff? She asked.
All of it. I've never… felt like that with anyone else. Deacon said.
You have to go. Rayna said.
Ray… He said softly.
No Deacon, I need you to go. She said.
Why are you always pushing me away? Deacon asked, reaching for her face, trying to brush some of the hair from her face.
She rolled over onto her stomach, burying her head in her pillow, rolling with the sheet around her.
Rayna. Deacon said softly.
Just go. Please, I need you to go. She said.
Hey Sis! You up here? She heard Tandy call and she pulled herself up from the bed enough to shoot a 'if looks could kill' glance at Deacon, who slid off the bed and hid under the opposite side than the door.
Mmm… I'm sleeping. Rayna called back.
Well, you need to get up! We have a number one party to get ready for! Tandy said, bursting into the room.
Rough night? What'd that bastard do to you this time? Tandy asked her sister.
Just… go make me a cup of coffee. I'll come down. Rayna said.
Ok. Tandy replied, knowing her sister's tone well enough by now.
Rayna pulled some clothes on before she rushed from the room, shutting the door behind her. She used her daughters bathroom to brush her hair back into a pony tail and splash cold water on her tear stained face before going downstairs.
Hey Buck. Rayna said.
Hey Rayna, sounds like a great reception last night. Bucky said.
At Deacon's? Tandy asked.
Mmm… he got her up on stage… Belcourt sent over a copy of the song. They want our permission to release it. Bucky said, taking out the CD from his bag and going to her stereo.
It's fine, sign the papers. Rayna said.
Have you heard it? Tandy asked.
I don't need to hear it. I'm sure it's fine. Sign the papers. Rayna said.
Ok… Bucky replied.
Is there anything in it for Highway 65? Tandy asked.
The standard 3% of a featuring artist. Should we be on that for song writing credit? Bucky asked.
Just sign over my rights to it. I don't want 3% and I don't want any credit for anything, ok, just make it go away. Rayna said.
What's going on? Tandy asked.
Nothing. When is this party you're planning? Rayna asked, trying to take deep breaths and not lose it.
Well… today is Thursday, so if we can get it off the ground by tomorrow, that would be ideal. Edgehill number one parties invite much of the music industry, are we doing the same? Bucky asked.
Just supporters. Rayna replied, as there was a knock on the door.
Should I get that? Tandy asked, as her sister made no move to go for her door.
Rayna shrugged.
Ok… I'll get the door. Tandy said.
Rayna, Luke's here. Tandy called out.
Rayna looked at Bucky who was looking at her expectantly.
He's good for business. Bucky said.
Screw business. Rayna replied, standing up from her stool and walking to the foyer of her house.
Hey there's my number one girlfriend. Luke said, a gigantic bunch of flowers in his arms.
You have more than one girlfriend? She asked.
Nice try. Luke replied.
How about I take the flowers? Tandy asked.
Thanks. Rayna replied.
mmm… c'mere sugar. Luke said, opening his arms up.
I can't. Rayna said.
You can't what? Luke asked.
I can't… I can't date you. Rayna said.
Why not? Why stop now? He asked.
Maddie. Rayna said.
Deacon's daughter? Luke asked.
My daughter… Rayna replied.
What? She don't like me? She hasn't even met me. Luke said.
Luke I… Rayna began.
Just trust me… I'll meet em' this weekend. You and me are great together, on and off stage if you know what I mean. Luke said, taking her into his arms and dropping his hands to low on her waist as he kissed her.
Rayna shut her eyes so she didn't tell him there was far too much tongue in that kiss.
I'm working from home today so… I should go. Rayna said.
You got half an hour? Luke asked, winking at her.
For that? Not today. My manager and CFO are here. You got to go… you're practically the enemy. Jeff releasing you on May 1? She asked.
Now that is confidential. Luke replied.
Right, confidential. We got secrets before we've been on an official date. Out. Rayna replied, trying to seem light hearted about it, but severely pissed.
Come on baby… I love you, I'm gonna help you get your label off the ground even if I'm the enemy. Luke said.
Think I got the label off the ground with my number one hit… but… thank you. Rayna said, letting him lead her into her kitchen.
Where'd you find that? Rayna asked, seeing her sister with an old glass jar she used as a vase, a bunch of white daisies in it. The vase had been acquired during one of their first tours. Deacon had brought her flowers to make up for an argument and she'd cried at how sweet he was and then blamed it on lack of vase, so he had hunted it down and ever since, when he'd given her daisies her favourite flower, they went in that vase.
It was on the table. Tandy replied, taking the flowers which still had the yellow ribbon around them out so she could rearrange the flowers.
So… who are we inviting? Call names out. Bucky said.
Scarlett, Gunner, the damned mayor and his wife, you two… Juliette, Avery, Liam, I think that's good. Rayna replied.
You gonna invite your co-writer? Bucky asked.
He's never liked parties, doubt he's gonna start anytime soon. Rayna replied.
I get an invite right? Luke asked.
You are the enemy. Rayna replied.
I'm your boyfriend. Luke replied.
I saw Faith the other day… we can invite them. Rayna said, so far ignoring Luke's comment.
Brad will want to come, he's one of your biggest fans. Bucky said.
Watty, oh my god, don't forget Watty. Rayna said.
Anyone but Jeff? Tandy asked.
Just… I'll review the final list that y'all come up with. Rayna said.
We free? Luke asked.
No… I've got like a million demo's to go through. Rayna said, surprising Bucky as she'd put it off for months now.
Rayna went into her music room, closely followed by Luke, and sat on the couch, her CD player next to her, and a stack of demos.
You know how I tell if I like a song? Luke asked.
How? She asked.
If I kiss you and you're still thinking of the song at the end… it's a winner. Luke said.
That seems… like an excuse. She replied.
Want to try it? He asked.
Luke… I… meant what I said. I can't date you. I appreciate all your support, I really do, but… I'm not ready. I'm not ready for that, I really need to focus on my girls and my career. I know you're supportive of that and everything, but… I can't. Maybe one day, but not now, I'm not ready. Rayna said.
Not ready huh? But yesterday, you and I were in bed, having an amazing time. Last night, you sing with Deacon and suddenly there's no room for me in your life anymore? Luke asked.
It has nothing to do with Deacon. Rayna replied.
Just like your marriage breakdown had nothing to do with Deacon? Keep telling yourself that… maybe one day someone else will believe you. Luke replied, getting up from her couch and storming out of the room, slamming the door so loudly it shook a few frames on the wall.
He stormed past Bucky and Tandy and slammed her front door as well.
Rayna got up, clicking the door lock into place, not ready to deal with her sister or manager. She went back to the CD player, turning it up a bit. She set up a yes, no and a maybe pile and doodled in her note book, song lyrics.
Door's locked. Tandy told Bucky.
You want to… listen to this song? Bucky asked her, holding up the copy he'd gotten of Deacon and Rayna's performance last night.
Bucky slid it into the CD player on the bench in the kitchen and stood next to Tandy as it came through the speakers.
Take the key off the chain
Leave it stuck in the door
Don't even try to explain
What you're leaving me for
And you won't call
And you won't even miss me at all
But I will (in the middle of the night, in the middle of the day)
Yeah I will (every second you're gone, once you're gone away)
I will love you still (I will love you still)
Take those pictures of us
Pull em' down off the shelf
Go wherever you want
Go try to be somebody else
'Cause you won't stay
And you won't wonder
Where I'm sleeping tonight
But I will (in the middle of the night, in the middle of the day)
Yeah I will (every second you're gone, once you're gone away)
You know, I will love you still (I will love you still)
I hope you never spend forever
Wondering if he ever
Wondering if he ever
Wondering if you ever loved me at all (loved me at all)
But I will (in the middle of the night, in the middle of the day)
Yeah I will (every second you're gone, once you're gone away)
I will love you still (I will love you still)
Oh I know, I know that I will love you still (I will love you still)
I will love you still.
Wait here. Tandy told Bucky.
Just… give her a bit of time. Bucky said.
It's not her I'm going to check on. Tandy replied, walking up the stairs in her house.
She tiptoed along the corridor, throwing open her sister's bedroom door quickly, to find Deacon sitting leaning against one of her sisters bedroom walls, knees up, resting his head on a hand.
Why do you always do this to her? Tandy asked.
It's not like I mean to. Deacon replied.
Jesus Deacon. Tandy said, before looking at him.
Who hurt who the most this time? She asked.
It's my fault, if that's what you're asking. Deacon said.
I thought you were with the poncy lawyer. Tandy said.
I was, I am, I don't really know. Deacon said.
And you knew she was with larger than life Luke. Tandy said.
Was? Deacon asked.
Oh you didn't hear the doors slamming? Tandy asked.
I thought they were Ray. Deacon said.
No… she's locked herself in her music room. Tandy said.
I didn't mean to but… I think I really hurt her this time. Deacon said.
You've really hurt her more than once Deacon. But… I know she's really hurt you more than once too. She doesn't want any involvement in your single but she's willing to sign the paperwork to hand it over…
What's her CFO say about that? Deacon asked.
She's obviously got her reasons… Hell, I've heard the song… Financially, it makes no sense but… it opens up for you to get another artist to sing it when you tour… Tandy said.
She's never let me go uncredited for a song before. Deacon said.
Do you know she… struggled so much to write that entire album on her own… when she read the market research for singles, it broke her to know she couldn't write anything chart worthy without you. She put her heart and soul into that album… she's been messed up for a few weeks now. Something similar happen that day? Tandy asked.
We kissed. Deacon said.
Just a kiss? Tandy asked.
It's never really just a kiss Tandy. Deacon replied.
You two need to… sort out what the hell is happening. Maddie is going to be home from school in two hours. Tandy said.
I need to go. Deacon said.
And leave her here to deal with your daughter all on her own? Right… never did think you'd ever stay and fight. Tandy replied.
I don't think your sister wants me to stay and fight, ever thought of that? Deacon asked.
Crossed my mind but I dismissed it. She loves you. Bucky and I are going to head into the office, if you leave… I want you to call me. Tandy said.
Do you know where the power box is? Deacon asked.
In the basement, why? Tandy asked.
No reason. Deacon replied.
You have two hours… times a ticking. Tandy told him, as she left the room.
Deacon left one long, awkward, stumble filled, message before he traipsed down the stairs. He leant an ear against the music room's door, reaching for the handle quietly, it still locked.
Ray. Let me in. He called, knocking on it.
The stereo volume increased and he grinned a little, walking away from the door and walking to her basement. He flicked the power off and grinned at himself as he walked out of the basement and went to sit by the music room door.
You bastard! She called.
So it's my fault the power went out? He asked back.
You think you're so cute. She snapped back.
You don't have to hang out in the dark alone… I'm right here. He replied.
Go home Deacon. She called back.
I am home babe, right here with you. He replied.
This… might be the reason I brought that laptop with the eight hour battery life. She called back, and he could hear her beating around in the dark, yelping as she obviously kicked something with her foot. A minute later, another demo played through the room, loud enough for him to hear it. He smiled softly as he realised she was sitting by the door.
He had a little under two hours to get her out of that room before his daughter came home from school and he was going to make the most of it. He grinned because her sister had the drip coffee working so he poured himself a mug of still hot coffee, going back to the door, knowing that she'd be able to smell it.
He checked his watch, he'd been providing feedback on the demo's she'd been listening to for over an hour and only had forty minutes left. She'd not said a word, but every few minutes he heard her change CD's and whenever he'd make negative comments, or the demo was shocking, he'd hear it be tossed into a no pile.
If you're hungry you know… we could have some lunch. He called out, as he heard her stomach rumble, just before another demo played out, this one not even lasting to the chorus.
She heard the front door and grinned. Her stand-off with Deacon was going to be over the second her daughters saw him by the music room door, in the dark.
She shut the computer lid as Deacon called out 'hey girls' and stood up, opening the door.
Deacon grinned at her as she tried to adjust her eyes to the dark again.
We have five minutes until our girls get home… I suggest we use them to sort out our life. Deacon said, as Rayna worked out that he'd opened and shut the door.
Turn the lights back on and leave. She said, walking back into the music room and slamming the door in his face.
You're dealing with this in a really healthy manner. Deacon said.
I'm about to call your girlfriend and ask her to get you to leave… you have till the count of ten. She replied.
Didn't know you had Megan's phone number. Deacon replied.
Hey Tandy. Can you please get me Deacon's girlfriends phone number? Rayna asked.
Why would you want that? Tandy asked.
Her boyfriend won't leave my house… figured she might like to know where he was. Rayna replied.
You know I'm… really busy with your number one party right now, maybe you could get that from Deacon. Bye. Tandy said, hanging up.
Did I tell you about the talk your sister and I had before she left? Deacon asked.
Hey Buck. I need a favour. Rayna said, ignoring Deacon.
I'm with your sister, it's a no Rayna. Bucky replied.
Bucky, I pay you not her. Rayna said.
Tandy wants me to tell you that… your girls will be home in about three minutes. Try not to have a murder scene for them to walk into, okay? Bucky asked, hanging up.
Not having much luck there? Deacon asked.
Hey Teddy. Rayna said.
Hey, everything okay with the girls? Teddy asked.
Yes and no… look, Maddie's real upset and I was… hoping you might be able to help me. I need to talk to Deacon's… Deacon's girlfriend, the lawyer? I think y'all met at the polo. Rayna said.
I'm with her right now… she's helping me with a case. Teddy said.
Oh, you're with her now? Rayna asked, her pitch rising.
Yeah… you still want to talk to her? Teddy asked.
Um… just… what are you two working on? Rayna asked.
She's helping me with Peggy's case. Teddy said.
Who do you think it is? She asked.
Rayna, you know who I think was involved… your Dad thinks I'm the witness. That bullet was meant for me. Teddy said.
And what, it's not? Rayna asked.
No… I might not like Lamar, but he's your father… I'm not going to turn against him like that, you and I both know I wouldn't be here without him. Do you want to talk to Megan? Teddy said.
Um… I… yes. Rayna said.
Rayna? Megan asked.
Hey Megan… I was… my management have been trying to get in touch with Deacon about this co write number one party, do you know where he'd be? Rayna asked.
No… he left me a really weird message a few hours ago… I… honestly thought he'd be with you. Megan replied.
What? Rayna asked.
Sounded to me like he broke up with me on my message bank. I can call his niece Scarlett if you want? Megan asked.
Oh… no that's ok, I've got Scarlett on speed dial. Thanks. Rayna said.
No worries, let me know if you still can't get hold of him I… I've heard him talk about this place by a lake, I'm sure I could work out where it is if that would help you. Megan said.
Oh no, that's ok, I'm sure he'll turn up. I'll let y'all get back to work, sorry for interrupting. Rayna said, hanging up.
Deacon rested against the wall next to the door, listening to their conversation. So Rayna knew he'd broken up with Megan. He knew she'd pissed Luke off beyond belief. He looked up as she opened the door, walking past him to the basement. He smiled softly as the lights came back on a minute later, remembering the time that he'd turned the power off at the cabin as they fought. She'd locked herself in the bathroom, she was nineteen and had confessed to being scared of the dark. After they'd made up, after the fifteen minutes in the bathroom she made on her own, he took her to the light box and showed her how to turn it back on.
She walked back up the basement steps and along the hall, leaning against the kitchen bench so she could see him, but so they were distanced.
My girls are just about to get home… I would really appreciate it if you gave me some time, please. She said calmly.
He stood up and walked quietly out of her house, getting in his car in the garage and she heard the garage door and him drive away.
A minute later, her girls burst in the door.
Hey Mum, was that Dad as the bus came in? Maddie asked.
Mmm yeah baby. Rayna replied.
Why was he here? Maddie asked.
Oh he just… needed to ask me if he could release that song from last night. Rayna said.
You said yes right? Maddie asked.
Yes baby. I said yes. Rayna replied.
Can we make cookies? Daphne asked.
I think that's a great idea. Let's make cookies! Rayna replied.
Are you okay Mum? Maddie asked, as they rolled balls of cookie dough in their hands.
Yes babe, I'm fine. Rayna replied.
You look like you've been crying. Maddie said, causing Daphne to look at her.
I'm fine girls, I promise. It's… sucky adult stuff. Rayna replied.
Are we going to lose the house? Daphne asked.
No baby. Rayna replied.
Is it… Dad? Maddie asked.
It's nothing girls, promise. Why don't y'all go get changed and we'll… watch trashy television and order pizza for dinner. Rayna replied.
Okay Mum, but we could just have cookies for dinner. Daphne said.
Rayna watched them both go upstairs as she rested against the bench. Deacon had broken up with Megan. Did he think she'd broken up with Luke? Did he think they were going to get together?
Maddie came back downstairs and looked at her Mum.
Mum… please tell me what's wrong. Maddie said.
Nothing's wrong. Rayna replied.
Something is wrong, I'm not an idiot. Dad looked sad in his car. Maddie said.
Maddie… I don't even know what's going on okay? All I know is… we fought a bit. It's not going to stop you from seeing your Dad at all, nothing is going to change okay? Just… your Dad and I are trying to… work out how we do this, okay? Rayna asked.
So you fought about me? Maddie asked.
No we… fought about music. Rayna replied.
I don't know why you two fight so much… when you're up on stage, it's like there's nothing else happening in the world. Maddie said.
Rayna opened her arms, hugging her daughter as she stepped into them, trying to stop the few tears in her eyes.
Just call him and say you're sorry, even if it's not your fault… a fights a fight. Maddie said.
I'll think about it. Rayna replied.
What is there to think about? You love him, you call him. Maddie said.
Maddie… I wish it were that easy. Rayna replied.
Tell creepy Luke you're not interested in him, tell Dad you love him, he'll tell you he loves you and he'll dump the lawyer. It is easy, you two just… complicate it. Maddie replied.
Sometimes loving one another isn't enough baby girl. Rayna replied.
That's bullshit. Maddie replied.
Maddie… we're never going to be able to get over what I did to him by hiding you okay? Rayna asked.
Just like you're never going to be able to get over him being a drunk? Maddie asked.
He's not a drunk… Rayna replied softly.
Because I asked Dad last time I had a guitar practice why you two aren't together and he blamed it on timing… Maddie said.
Did he? Rayna asked.
I told him that was bullshit too. Maddie said.
I don't like how much you're using that word. Rayna said.
I'm sorry Mum, but it is. It's complete bullshit. You two should be together… Maddie said.
Thank you for your advice Maddie. Rayna replied, taking the cookies out of the oven.
You know… Dad would like these cookies, maybe we should take him some. Maddie said, as Tandy entered their house.
Hey girls… thought I should come check on y'all. Tandy said, as Daphne raced down the stairs, hugging her aunt.
Mum, my alarm clocks broken. Daphne said.
The power went out today, that's all. I'll help you fix it later. Maddie said.
The power went out? Tandy asked her sister.
Rayna told Daphne she could pick out a movie and she skipped off.
I was thinking maybe that the girls could come stay at my place tonight. Tandy said.
Please Mum. Maddie said.
No baby, it's a school night. Rayna replied.
So? We've done it before. Aunt Tandy doesn't let us stay up late and she can take us to school in the morning. Maddie said.
If she doesn't let you stay up late, why do you want to go? Rayna asked.
Well, maybe you could go and talk to Dad. Maddie said.
Maddie… just… go and pick out a movie. Rayna said.
See I told you, this is bullshit. Maddie said, storming off.
Wow… she got any allowance left? Tandy asked her sister.
It's her new favourite word. Rayna replied.
Adorable. Tandy replied.
Yeah, you want her? She's going free at the moment. In half an hour if she keeps it up I'll start paying you. Rayna replied.
I think you should go and talk to him. Tandy said.
I don't. Rayna replied.
Why not? Tandy asked.
Because. We'll end up in bed again and Tandy… it's too hard, there is so much water under the bridge that… I can't take it anymore, we're drowning in it. Rayna replied.
You love him so much… I don't think you'll ever love anybody else that much, not even Luke. Tandy said.
Brad Pitt could walk in here right now and you wouldn't bat an eyelid. Tandy said.
Brad Pitt doesn't do anything for me. Rayna replied.
George Clooney. Tandy said.
George Clooney is old Tandy. Rayna replied.
You know… I think I kind of agree with Maddie. You two need to sit down and talk to one another, not yell, not scream, not fuck each others brains out…. Tandy began.
Nice. Thank you for being so polite. Rayna replied, pissed off to be getting more relationship advice.
Just talk. Maybe even write each other a letter. Get it all out, deal with it, move on and be happy, because it's about time both of you were happy. Happy for you. Maddie's right, you two like you are now is bullshit. It was bullshit to even think that you could just be colleagues fourteen, fifteen years ago. You created a baby with him Rayna. Tandy began.
And then I hid said baby from him for thirteen and a half years Tandy. Deacon and I are never going to happen, it's time to face the facts. Now, if you'd like to take my children for the night, you're more than welcome, I'm… going to excuse myself. Rayna said, leaving the kitchen. Rayna glanced to the den, seeing her two girls with tears in their eyes, Maddie with her arm around her younger sister. She ducked her head and walked up the stairs into her bedroom.
Come on girls… Momma just needs a few minutes. Tandy said, hugging both girls.
Tandy told the girls to get their school uniforms and that she'd meet them downstairs and they'd go for ice cream dinners in a few minutes. She walked into her sisters room quietly, seeing her lying on the bed, her face buried into a pillow she'd wrapped her arms around.
That his pillow? Tandy asked softly, her sister staying silent.
I wish I could take this heartbreak for you… you're my baby sister… I wish I could fix this for you, but… I can't. But the way I see it, you can't get much more heartbroken than you are right now… what's the harm in trying? I'll get the girls to school tomorrow, the party's probably not going to get off the ground for tomorrow… Teddy picks the girls up from school tomorrow, maybe it'd do you good to get away for a few days. Tandy said, placing a kiss on her sister's head before turning around, seeing the two girls at the door.
Hey girls, say goodbye to Mummy, she's going to be ok. Tandy said.
Rayna hugged both her girls, kissing their heads as they hugged her.
About 8pm she got sick of herself and reached for her mobile phone, dialling his phone number. She got his message bank and hung up, not knowing what to say. She waited a few more minutes, trying to call him again, it going straight to message bank again. A faint smile came over her face, he didn't have cell reception at the cabin and his phone would go straight to message bank.
Two hours later, she pulled into the long driveway, slowing the vehicle to a crawl, wondering what part of her brain had gotten her here, a two hour drive from her house, to a place she hadn't been in over fifteen years.
She pulled in next to his car, shutting her engine off. The place hadn't changed. He still hadn't painted the cabin like he said he'd need to do when they brought the place. She thought back to a meeting with her manager when Deacon entered rehab for the fifth time, where she told him to take care of the loans for the two properties Deacon and she had acquired. As far as she knew, they were both still in joint names, not that she'd have ever touched them. It was dark, there was a light on on the porch and the living area of the cabin.
She opened the car door, but it stayed open for about five minutes before she got the courage to complete her exit from the car.
As she walked onto the porch, she saw him sitting in the porch swing they'd liked best about the cabin all those years ago.
She sat quietly on the opposite end of it and they sat in silence, staring out into the darkness. A while after she'd sat down, he got up, walking into the cabin and bashing around in the kitchen.
The porch door opened again and he came back out wearing a jacket, a blanket in one arm and a plate in the other. He dropped the blanket onto her lap, and returned to his seat, placing the plate of egg sandwiches in between them.
She reached for a sandwich a few minutes later, taking a small bite of the egg and cheese sandwich he was famous for.
They finished the sandwiches in silence and at some point she spread the knitted blanket she'd made during their first tour over herself, picking at a square of mismatched colours of wool.
He left and came back with two mugs of coffee at some point and still they sat in silence.
As the dark night sky faded slightly she turned to him and said 'I'm sorry', just as he told her 'I'm sorry'.
We need to talk. She said.
He nodded.
And not fuck each other's brains out. She said.
Okay. He replied.
She pulled her legs up on the swing, and shifted to look at him a little.
I love you but I don't know if that's enough… so much has happened in our lives I just… don't think we're capable of surviving it all and coming through the other side to be in a relationship. We have a daughter and… I'll never forgive myself for keeping her from you… but we have to think about her. She needs us, she needs us to talk to one another, be in the room together at her parent teacher events… Rayna said.
And you look at me like nothing's changed, like we're still nineteen year olds, like… we haven't been through a dozen break ups, stomach pumpings, arrests, rehab visits, a marriage, two children, so many fights, I don't know how many girls you've slept with… She said.
Ray… He said softly.
I lied to you Deke… about our daughter, for thirteen and a half years. She said.
And we almost died, isn't that enough? He asked softly.
Deke… it would come between us every time we fought… She said.
Is hugging allowed? He asked softly.
You want to… hug me? She asked.
I want to hold you… He said softly.
She shifted along the swing, sliding into his side, letting him wrap an arm around her neck, resting on her chest. She wrapped a hand around his wrist.
I know you say that it would come between us in everything but… I feel like we've got nothing to lose. Even through everything we've been through I still love you, I still want to be with you… I still need to be with you. Deacon said.
Ok. She said softly.
Ok? Deacon asked.
She nodded, snuggling into his side.