I nudged your elbow. You lifted your head a little, your eyes never leaving your notebook as you write notes down.

A small grin appears on my face.

I can't help but think that in a few weeks, I'll be begging you on my knees for your notes. You'll scold me for being lazy but eventually, you'll give in to my request anyway.

You've always been there for me. Maybe you didn't notice it but I've always been grateful for every little thing you did.

Snapping me out of my thoughts, you gave me a quizzical look.

I met your gaze.

A sudden cold blanket wrapped me, reminding me why I nudged you in the first place.

I should just say it.

I've been practicing for this moment ever since regret slowly consumed me.

Damn myself for confessing over the internet.

"You know… I don't wanna have a boyfriend."

Hopefully, you knew what I meant about that.

I looked at you quickly and decided to just watch you from my peripheral view.

Peripheral view. I hate that.

I tried to study your face, look for any emotion.

Happiness? Disgust? Anger? Bewilderment? Acceptance? Rejection?

But I can't.

I can't figure out what was going on in your mind when I said that.

That fact alone made me scared.

You were always kind of an open book. Your face always reflected how you felt.

Your reply rang in my head but I can't register what you said.

I met your eyes once again.

My stomach did a flips and my mind went blank.

Damn you and your eyes.

I continued talking.

"I'm kinda scared of guys now, you know? It's like they just want something from me."

What am I saying?

Before I knew it, the period was over.

It was kind of hard to bring that subject up once again after that. And I doubt that my subtle hints about relationships gave you an idea of what I want to say.

There was this one problem though, what do you think of when thinking about relationships?

At the end of the day, nothing changed.

"Tch. And I even swore that I'll end this today. Maybe I'll try again tomorrow." Was what I said as a whisper behind the internet's web of solitude.

A/N: Yeah yeah, I haven't abandoned my fanfics but I'm just posting this one. Maybe a two or three-shot and this'll be done.

Something I made from personal experience these last few days that's why it's dramatic as sht and has some broken-heart issues. Sorry if this is a bit angst-y, and I gotta say, this is the first time I strayed out of fluff or lemons.

I'm gonna post this at Tumblr, wanna look at my MiTsu blog? Laters, humans.