Oh I should be working on Miss Mills but then I saw this prompt on tumblr and I had to write it.

Dekujin: Prompt: 89082374982348

In the Enchanted Forest all identified noble women and princess are granted a fairy guardian for protection and guidance along their path to aiding the world. Ruler in training Belle is no exception to this, and upon her eighteenth birthday is granted a meeting with the Blue Fairy for obtaining her fairy guardian, a magical ordeal that connects a persons soul with their destined fae counterpart that will best match them.

The ancient rite is performed but in the middle something seems to go terribly wrong as the light magic turns a wicked hue and tears the room about in a horrible storm.

There before Belle after the storm passes is the legendary Dark One, however he's just as confused as to why he's there just as she is.

Of course she'd be the one to end up with an imp for a fairy guardian.

Junoinferno added: I think I read somewhere that fairy godmothers are supposed to give dating advice. Wouldn't it be hilarious if smitten Rumple was trying to dissuade Belle from a bunch of princes? Just saying.

Needless to say this shit was born. You're welcome

Also this is a prompt fic so feel free to send me prompts via PM, Review, Reblog, or whatever method you can

Warnings: VERY AU and lots of Cursing

Prologue

This was not supposed to happen. No one would have seen it coming. The purple cloud the thunderous noise and three very confused people were left.

"What the fuck?" Rumpelstiltskin, the Dark One, asked looking around. "I thought I told you, Jellyfish to not fuck around with me."

"Trust me, I didn't intend this." She replied crossing her arms and looking to Belle.

"Then explain." Rumpel said with a sarcastic bow.

"Belle, the future queen of Avonlea, was supposed to meet her fairy guardian… and somehow, it a horrid turn of events that is you." She replied looking away from him.

"Wait…" Belle began looking at them. "He's my fairy guardian…"

"I think we just covered that dearie." He replied. "if we're done here I have to get back to the dark castle. I have more important things to tend to."

"Oh you have a life?" The fairy said.

"Yes, and if you keep talking you might be losing yours. Now if you excuse…"

"Why do you smell like Piss?" The fairy asked finally noting his rather strange smell.

"I was changing my son's diaper. Can I go now?" He asked becoming exasperated.

"You have to get to know Belle! Whether you like it or not you're to be her fairy guardian." She exclaimed.

"Um… do I get a say in this?" Belle asked.

"Uh… not really." The fairy said. "Once the magic is done, you're stuck with him."

"Is the magic done?" Belle asked.

"Unfortunately." The two sighed.

"Look, I have a cranky two year old. Here's a magical quill that you can write letters to me with if you have any issues. Good day." With that Rumpel disappeared back to his home leaving a confused Belle and a seething fairy.

Belle sighed and said, "I guess it could've gone worse. I mean Aurora got Maleficent so he can't be all bad."

"He's the dark one."

"But he's also my fairy guardian."

Super short but what the hey! Leave me thoughts and responses!