To be honest, I hate myself a little for writing this. To all of you who read it, angst lies ahead, and I am so sorry. I'll write something happier next time I promise.

I'm Not Ever Gonna Leave You

He didn't think Beth had ever lied to him. Not once in the months they'd been alone in the woods, could he remember a single word that spoke anything but truth. A soft smile touched his lips, and he fought to keep it, cause he knew that if she were here she would be smiling. That was just another honest truth, and that was just who she was...honest.

She didn't have a reason to lie...and he didn't think she had half a mind to either. That girl wore her heart on her sleeve, even when that heart was so frustrated with his shit that she was ready to tear him a new one. His smile faltered. She'd be about ready to tear him a new one right now with all this moping and shit.

He didn't know why he'd volunteered to take first watch. He didn't know why he was here and not back in Georgia. He didn't know why he hadn't gone back for her body. He didn't know why he couldn't get the ghost of her arms around him to just go away, and it scared him.

He let out a shaky breath as Father Gabriel let out a shaky snore, and Daryl did his best not to scream. Instead he took a long, slow drag on his cigarette.

Beth would have wanted him to be honest with himself, but he hadn't quite figured out how to do that yet. He was pretty sure she'd been teaching him with all her pretty singing and speaking from the heart and shit….but she was dead now, and he….well he just didn't know.

She would've wanted him to burn it down, douse everything in liquor and her pretty words of hope, and watch the flames turn to ashes. He'd tried, he wanted to tell her, he wanted to scream at her. He was trying as hard as he could, but no matter how many cigarettes he ground into his skin he couldn't burn her out of him.

He didn't think Beth had ever once lied to him. The words she had spoken, the faith and the light, they'd been true then. He couldn't be mad at her for that, she couldn't have known she was going to die. She couldn't have known her words were about as good as cigarette butts and smiles he couldn't bring himself to keep.

She'd never known that it wasn't her words that kept him going, it was her, and he wished he could burn that out him too cause it was gonna kill him if he didn't...but he couldn't bring himself to do that either. The girl was under his skin, and in his blood, and in his heart, and sitting alone in the dark he wished he could feel her fire against him and he wished he could see her smile.

Beth Greene had never lied to him, not once, not even in the last words he could remember.

I'm not gonna leave you.

No. He let the smoke from his lungs, took the cigarette from his lips, and idly pressed the embers to his wrist.

No, she never would.