As I Bow Before You

Though the world is finally at peace, there is turmoil within me.

It rolls through me in waves, constricting and consuming me with each breath that I take. As I go deeper into the underground beneath the world I know, I grow more anxious. Rumors are just that: rumors. Why am I letting whispers worry me so? I will admit, I am afraid to find what I have heard is here. And though it puzzles me as to why, I am afraid that I will not find what I'm looking for, either.

Which one is the lesser of the two evils, I am afraid I cannot say.

But despite the fears of what I don't know, I walk for what seems like hours throughout the cool, damp and dim darkness and just when I am sure I have wasted my time and will have to turn back, I see a familiar shape at the edge of a cave. I walk closer, ignoring the surge of sudden fear that tries to talk me out of the hope I cling to. Years may have passed, but he hasn't changed a bit. No, I say to myself, he is still the same - still the same son that I used to race in the shrine and that I used to watch over as he searched for truffles through the forests around the palace. Still the same.

Though I walk closer, he does not even move. Of course, he must hear his father coming. My footsteps are the only ones here, why-

I stop in my tracks as the light begins to show me his true form. Twisted and shriveled, his face is lopsided, a look of pain and utter sadness molded into his features. Just seeing it makes my heart heavy; it is as though his last moments-

No.

My feet suddenly feel as though they have been rooted into the very ground I'm standing on. I want to be sick, to turn around and run as far away as my feet will carry me and forget that I ever came here. But instead, I run to him, my arms open wide. And without reserve or regard for manners and status, I hug his lifeless body and begin to bitterly weep.

Through the tears, guilt rises. Why was I so stubborn to wait for him to write? I should have reached out to him somehow, shown him that I was not angry for him leaving. I should have searched high and low for him and brought him home to safety. But my duties to the kingdom were more important to me than being a good father.

The revelation of just how unworthy I am to even be standing here before my son brings me to my knees, but the love I feel as a father brings my head up to face the reality. Here in the lonely underground, where there is no life but mine, I bow before my son.

And I say my final goodbyes…